The Real Queen

[D.J]

The scene opened in a shopping plaza. At first the camera picked up on a wide shot of all the stores- but it quickly zoomed in and was looking for someone specific. After only a few moments the camera zero'd in on it's subject. It was Mike and Mickie Mizanin and they walked hand and hand with arrogant, cocky smirks on their faces. Like the worlds most basic couple they each had a couple of shopping bags in their off hand. The two stopped in the middle of the open main area and snuck a quick peck on the lips. An older man saw this and as older men often do- he was quick to voice his opinion.

Older Man: Oh get a room.

The Miz cocked his head and had a look that could have said his next word for him.

The Miz: Really? That's what you're going to do right now? You're going to speak out at our true love because the only women you can now get are wrinkly liver spotted and disgusting?

Mickie Mizanin: He probably can't even get that. Unless he's rich. Are you rich?

Older Man: I have a few sheckles put away.

The Miz and Mickie made eye contact.

The Miz: Honestly, this is just too gross- I can't even be around such mild mediocrity or people who use the word sheckles- or both like this old fart milkshake.

Mickie Mizanin: Yeah, get bent old timer.

The Miz walked by the man, Mickie did as well, but pushed him down as she did. A small crowd began yelling their disapproval at them- but the EBWF's most obnoxious couple acted as though they either couldn't hear them, or that they could care less.

Mickie Mizanin: Honestly babe- like what the hell is wrong with these old fruit loops thinking they can just say whatever they want, to whoever they want, whenever they want. He's lucky all I did was push him down and probably break his hip. There's nothing worse than a wrinkly old dude that just doesn't know when to sit down and shut the hell up. It's so annoying how there are SO MANY LIKE THAT.

The Miz put his arm around his wife.

The Miz: I can think of one in particular right now off the top of my.... woooooooo... head....

Mickie smiled.

Mickie Mizanin: Ah yes- Ric Flair- the NATACHA BOY. WOOOOOOO! Perfect example- old- health problems up the ass- still doesn't know when to just let it all die.. still doesn't know when to just.. die period. Still see him on ESPN- talking in locker rooms- throwing 100's at strippers- still trying to be relevant. At least he's not wrestling anymore.. and all his antics don't have to be in our face week in and week out... ohhh but babe.. that's not true either is it?

The Miz bowed his head facetiously.

The Miz: I'm afraid not..

Mickie Mizanin: Nooo.. because just as Ric Flair finally got the heck out of my face- here comes his mutant sized daughter with the lop sided tits to come and start "Woooing" at me all over again. Same stupid robe- same stupid theme music with a little bit of drums that my 9 year old cousin could do on his eye phone- same stupid brash arrogance. She calls herself the queen- and basically just tries to be an exact female replica of Ric. This would be mildly amusing if she didn't think she actually deserved everyone around here's respect. Remember Brooke Hogan? I liked her- she knows her place. One minute she's trying to do the wrestling thing- the Charlotte Flair thing- of trying to just make a few quick bucks off of daddy's name. She quickly realized she was a joke and made her way to like things more fit for her like surreal life and the challenge on MTV- good for you Brooke. Nobody has told Charlotte yet that she's a joke- so like the bitch I used to be in High School- and the bitch I am now- I'm going to deliver the bad news.. Charlotte, hunnie, sweetie, you're a JOKE- and everyone is laughing at you.. EVERYONE. One thing that isn't funny- especially for you- is that in the first round of the Queen of the Ring tournament you have to go against me. I may look beautiful, I may have that sweet look of a girl that's going to bake you cookies- but the reality is- yeah I might make you cookies, but I'm going to shove them right up your flabby ass. I'm the nastiest bitch in the EBWF when it comes to being in the ring- and it's time to start showing it- night in and night out in this tournament.

The Miz: Getting fiesty..

Mickie Mizanin: Babeee..

The Miz: Sorry go ahead.

The two kept walking and Mickie continued.

Mickie Mizanin: I actually can think of nobody else I'd rather make an example of than you. You just have this air of entitlement that drives me up a fricken wall. You've done exactly nothing around here, yet you act like you own the women's division. All you've ever done with your life is come out of Ric Flair's sperm, and I'm sure you're like one of 270 humans that that's true about. Most of which I'm sure went through great lengths to get their name changed, and anytime someone is like "hey I heard your Ric Flair's kid.." they're like "who told you that?! They're a LIAR" They act jumpy about it whenever anyone talks about anyone even named Ric. You're just one of the only ones pathetic enough to be proud of your derelict of a dad. Hell even your brother Reid overdosed on heroin so that he wouldn't have to be associated with your maggot infested family name for even another second.

Miz while Mickie had been talking was drinking a fountain drink from the food court. He almost choked when he heard Mickie's last line.

The Miz: You evil bitch.

They made out for 10 seconds.

Mickie Mizanin: The point is your a laughing stock doll face- and by doll face I mean creepy doll that you find in the house of serial killers that sits on a rocking chair. Not the cute dolls that most girls grow up playing with. I'm going to prove in this Queen of the Ring Tournament that you're not just built like lumpy mashed potatoes, but you also perform like them.. and that I'm also going to mash you... like those same potatoes.

The Miz: Amazing word play.

Mickie Mizanin: Oh you got to be frickin kidding me..

Two rather chunky mall cops approached Mickie and Miz.

Mall Cop: Hello are you Mike and Mickie Mizanin?

The Miz: Duh bro.

He took a loud sip of his fountain drink that was now running short on liquid.

Mall Cop: That's what I suspected we've received a complaint- that you pushed a senior citizen down earlier.

Miz went to answer- but Mickie stepped in front of him.

Mickie Mizanin: Yeah I did- he told us to get a room. I didn't appreciate that. We'll have sex right here in front of you two pervs if we want.

The Miz: It's true.

Another loud sip of his soda. No emotion on his face.

Mickie Mizanin: If I was you two nerds- I would walk away right now- you don't carry guns- you got pepper spray like a 21 year old fashion model at a bar. We shoved an old guy- he was talking trash to us- you talk trash to us- you get beat up. That's how it works. Even if you don't talk trash to us- you might get beat up. It just depends on what kind of mood we're in Mall Cops.. you're not 5.0.. you're not even 2.5's you're a parody- a bad imitation of a police officer. Just like my opponent in the Queen of the Ring is a bad imitation a bad parody of her once famous father. Neither you nor her holds any weight- and I mean weight metaphorically because she.. and well both of you.. hold plenty of weight figuratively. The point is whether she talks trash about me- or whether she doesn't- I can pretty much guran-fricken-tee that I'm going to be in the mood to beat her up. I honestly don't give a shit what you or anyone else thinks about me- I'm going to do whatever the hell I want, to whoever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want- and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Mall Cop: Miss I'm going to need you to relax.

Mickie Mizanin: Or what? All I've done up until this point in time is relax. I was the laid back, cool chick- but now a switch has flipped with me- now I'm going to be the girl I was always meant to be in that ring- and that's the violent, dangerous one. Charlotte Flair may be a wrestling legacy- she may have been hand picked to be a success in this business because of daddy warbucks- but she's not beating me- she's going to wish that she had just become a server at Denny's like she would have been had her last name been "Smith."

Mall Cop 2: I could go for some Denny's right now.

Mickie Mizanin: I feel sorry for this mall with you two heifers defending it.

As Mickie was talking Miz had snuck behind both of them and went down to all 4's. Mickie pushed both gentlemen and they both clumsily fell over The Miz. Miz poured the remainder of his drink on them, and threw the cup down on them as well. The two continued to make their way through the plaza.

Mickie Mizanin: The point of this all babe is that it doesn't matter what someone wants you to be. It doesn't matter what someone in a suit thinks you could be, in this business it's all about what you do. It's all about whether you can go out there and win, or if you're just someone that looks like they'd be able to. Charlotte Flair is this image of a girl that people think should be something special, the problem is, she just isn't all that special. I can't wait to get my hands around her tree trunk of a neck and beat some humility into her. I can't wait to see the look on her skank face, when she realizes that even though she's taller, uglier, and wider than I am- that she is NOWHERE NEAR as nasty and as tough. I'm not just going to beat Charlotte Flair babe, I am going to HUMILIATE HER, I am going to ANNILIHATE HER, I am going to show her and the rest of the whores in the back that I AM THE REAL QUEEN... and in a few short weeks.. they will ALL need to bow down to me.. because I will be the NEW QUEEN OF THE RING.

The Miz: Hashtag FACTS.

The scene faded to black as Miz and Mickie made walked arm and arm down the mall.