Chupacabra

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Cory
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Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:59 pm
Location: Austin, TX
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Chupacabra

Post by Cory »

The Gateway Championship belt shined brightly in the well-lit interview area set up backstage at the Mississippi Coast Coliseum. Randy shifted the title on his shoulder as Renee Young approached him.

Renee Young: Hi there, Randy. Do you have a couple of moments to talk about your match tonight?

Randy's eyebrow shot up.

Randy Orton: I have a match tonight?

A deep sigh escaped Renee's lips.

Renee Young: Are we doing this bit again? Yes, you have a match.

Randy Orton: I legitimately didn't know. One sec.

Randy casually handed Renee his Gateway Championship belt which she nearly dropped. She huffed impatiently as Randy dug out his iPhone and began tapping and scrolling away on it.

Randy Orton: Okay, EBWF.com... Match card.... what the hell? Third match from last? I'm the Gateway Champion, don't you know that?!

Renee Young: Yeah, I guessed.

Renee struggled to keep a grip on the heavy title belt as she kept the mic near Randy.

Randy Orton: OK, so my match is against, Tomasso, Toblerone, Tabula something something.

Renee Young: First off, that's racist. Secondly, your match is against Tomohiro Ishii. He's a strong style expert who you should not overlook.

Randy sighed.

Randy Orton: First off, I'm sorry that I don't know every obscure wrestler from a mom and pop shop wrestling promotion in Japan somewhere. I'm sorry that I will never know if I typed that name right, and I'm sorry that I have no way of knowing if you're actually giving me his real name. As the best wrestler in the history of the business, I've usually got my time reserved for the elite of the elite. As my favorite wrestler of all time used to call himself, the cream of the crop. Those are the types of wrestlers that want a shot at Randy Orton. Guys like Tomasso...

Renee Young: Tomohiro.

Randy Orton: Right. Guys like Topo Chico usually have to wait until Wes gets bored and throws me into a random throwaway match second on the card. Fortunately for him, that day is today.

Renee Young: It sounds like you're overlooking your opponent.

Randy Orton: Come on, Renee. You know me better than that. I overlook everyone. That isn't news. I'd overlook Chris Jericho if he was my opponent. Because there's a simple fact about me that I am one hundred percent comfortable with.

Randy put his phone back into the back pocket of his jeans and took his title belt back from Renee.

Randy Orton: I am a self-righteous, narcissistic, egotistical jerk.

Renee arched an eyebrow, not sure where this was going.

Randy Orton: I know. Breaking news. I'm an asshole. The reality that everyone hates the most is that I know this, and I own it. Every bit. I don't take my opponent seriously, because I'm a jerk. But also because there's not a person in EBWF, WWE, New Japan, Old Japan, Middle Aged Japan, that can hold a candle to me. To put it simply, I'm an egomaniac that backs it up by being the best.

Renee Young: I would buy all of this if you had an undefeated record in EBWF, but you don't.

Randy Orton: Fair point, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I am the best of all time. Everyone loses once in a while. I'm sure even Topanga has lost a match.

Renee Young: Tomohi-- nevermind.

Randy Orton: I'm sure he's a great guy. Fact is, I'm the EBWF Gateway Champion. I've single handedly delivered this title belt into the strongest period of relevance that it has ever seen. Just the fact that this belt is over my shoulder makes it more important than it has ever been. And tonight, I'm going to do the same thing for...whatever his name is. By being in the ring with him, I will expose him to a level of relevance he has never seen in his insignificant wrestling life. Tonight, I turn Tomohiro Ishii into a star.

Renee Young: Tomo-- wait, did you just pronounce it correctly?

Renee looked up and Randy was gone. She made an exasperated sigh and walked off as an EBWF logo flashed in the corner and the camera faded to black.
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