Omega: Oh! There we go. Hello. Welcome. Welcome to my Facebook LIVE Video! I am YOUR World Champion - Kenny Omega - and I’m in…. uhhh… an airport! I don’t remember where..uhhh exactly… hang on…
* Kenny gets us and walks over to the gate attendant… *
Omega: Excuse me… yeah… umm where the fuck am I?
Gate Attendant: You’re in an airport sir. Are you alright?
Omega: Yeah Yeah, I get that. I’m not a stupid idiot like Chris Jericho.
Gate Attendant: Who is Chris Jericho?
Omega: EXACTLY! So where in the world am I? I was in South Korea, and then I was in Japan, and then I was in Abu Dhabi for some reason…
Gate: Oh I’m sorry sir. You’re in Amsterdam.
Omega: Amsterdam?! That is TOO SWEET.
Gate: Where are you heading sir?
Omega: I gotta get to London England, but for now, it’s time to hit up the Red Light District!
Gate: I’m sorry sir, but you won’t be able to leave this area of the airport as you have already cleared customs.
Omega: Oh that is not cool.
Gate: Also, sir, you aren’t supposed to be video taping in here. I'm sorry.
Omega: Oh I’m not taping anything, we’re fine.
* Kenny immediately walks away and smiles into the camera.*
Omega: Ha! Taping! Who uses tapes anymore! It’s a digital world!
*The gate attendant hears Kenny and shouts.*
Gate: Sir are you speaking to the camera in your hand?
Kenny: NO ITS A PHONE! GAWD!
*Kenny hurried back to his seat and isolated himself from the gate attendant.*
Kenny: Alright…from the top.
*Clears throat*
Kenny: Welcome to My Facebook LIVE Video, LIVE from the Airport in Amsterdam! I am currently ON ROUTE to the O2 Arena in London, England for House of Havoc! I don’t see what London has done to deserve the honour of hosting the EBWF World Champion, but I’m a people pleaser I guess. So all you toothless crumpet-suckers can get excited because KENNY Omega is coming to town!
Kenny: Now I gotta address Chris Jericho’s sad attempt at a World Title shot claiming to be the alpha of the EBWF, and you know… the marketing is brilliant. Alpha Vs Omega. It’s sound great. It would sell. I bet I would MAKE BANK on that. Here’s the problem Chris… now you might not see it, but I’ve been here maybe five minutes and I can see it. You aren’t the alpha of the EBWF Chris. It’s actually been sometime, but the sunset of your career I guess can blur things. So let me spell it out for you. There can be no Alpha vs Omega… BECAUSE I AM THE ALPHA. This championship belt around my… err.. in my luggage is my trump card. I am the Alpha. I am the Omega. I am the Champion. I AM THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD TODAY.
Kenny: You see what I did there? Excellent transition! My opponent at House of Havoc, CM Punk. The last man to hold my Championship. He claims to be the Best in the World, but ’’t carry the burden of being champion for more than a week. I’m glad the leadership here saw fit to make this a non-title match, because anyone who vacates a championship a week after they win it, don’t deserve a crack at it again for a very long time. Now, I’m sure everyone is going to say that it wasn’t about the burden, Punk was sending a message. He was making a point. I know what Punk said. I was watching in Japan as offers were coming in from every single Wrestling company on the planet. It’s what happens when you’re the most in-demand free agent in the game. So I guess I should thank CM Punk, because he’s really the reason that Kenny Omega is the EBWF World Champion today. You see I remember that New Year’s Day episode of Warfare like it was yesterday. CM Punk said a few things that are still so clear to me today. He said he didn’t want to coast into the Main Event of Wrestlemania and he felt that stars like AJ Styles or PJ Black should be champion… so he vacated the title. Such a noble act you guys. CM Punk is just all heart. Whatever. But then he said something that really spoke to me. He said that he wanted the “next best superstar to come take this title and do wonderful things with it.”
Kenny: Well Punk, let me put your mind at ease because I have done some incredible things with this championship. Let me see… well, we want zip lining in Mexico, and Hang Gliding California.. it’s so beautiful there. We did some body painting in Spain, and we enjoyed some Sumo matches in Japan. We’re really been doing some impressive and just wonderful things, so I can’t thank you enough for that. But I can’t thank JUST you. I suppose it would be selfish to exclude all the little people I had to step over to become champion in my first match in the EBWF. You know, it may be only one official match, but I think it’s important to acknowledge everyone in the Rumble individually. Because, you know I wasn’t even actually in the Rumble. That’s the funny thing. But I’ve always believed you make your own destiny. So to the 30 people I’ve already handled, starting with Bret Hart and ending with PJ Black, CM Punk’s “chosen champion” let me quickly thank each of you. I guess you could say I’m 30 and 0 to start my EBWF career and I couldn’t have done that without each and everyone single one of your really doing your part. But CM Punk…. we haven’t really had the pleasure. But I’m so excited for you to be the one - in Thirty-One and Ohhhhhhhhh!
*Kenny is interrupted by an announcement over the intercom in the Airport.*
Intercom: Would Kenny Omega please report to Gate 49. Kenny Omega - Gate 49.
*Kenny looked around and noticed he was at Gate 3. He quickly looked back at the Camera in his hands…*
Kenny: GOOD BYE (MWUAH)… AND GOOD FLIGHT!
*Kenny hesitates for moment realizing he’s in an airport and looks around… then he leans into the camera and whispers…*
Bang.
—————————————————————————————————————————*Devil’s Sky showers the O2 Arena as the EBWF World Heavyweight Champion comes out of the Gorilla position and stands atop the ramp and surveys the scene. In his hand he’s carrying a broom, and has the championship around his waist. He thrusts the broom into the air above his shoulder as if he were hoisting Excalibur, before swinging the broom back towards the ground and moving down the Ramp sweeping as he walked towards the ring. As he got to ringside, he threw the broom into the crowd like a javelin and then rolled into the centre of the ring.*
Kenny: Well, congratulations to everyone who was able to buy a ticket to tonight’s event. You are all a part of history. You are all about to bear witness to Kenny Omega’s FIRST Scheduled match in the EBWF! So congratulations to all of you! You are welcome. Obviously I say scheduled, because despite being… umm… an unplanned entrant into the Royal Rumble, that was my first official match and I KILLED IT. Just like I said I would. And just like I said I would, I gave everyone a first class ticket to history in the making that night and made history I did. The list of records and accomplishments I have already begun to create just during my time in the EBWF is growing exponentially, and tonight is no exception.
Kenny: Tonight CM Punk will find out why he can no longer lay claim to being the Best in the World, and the EBWF Universe will get to experience their first potential six star match of 2018. Kenny: Now I say potential, because CM Punk is no joke. He is an accomplished professional wrestler and former EBWF World Champion. I fully expect him to push me to limits and I know we’ll put on a match for the ages and we may very well steal the show. Because that’s what guys like us do. But he’s the difference between guys like CM Punk and guys like myself. You see, CM Punk is really great right here (points to his knee and his shin) but Kenny Omega is really great right here (points to his head). You see CM Punk has talent. He can deliver an ass-kicking like few in the business can, but he can never outsmart or outperform Kenny Omega. Because I’m smarter. Because I work harder. Because I’m faster… but mostly because I’m better. I’m the best wrestler in the world today, and after tonight as we head towards The Cleaner main eventing Wrestlemania, there won’t be a person left who can dispute it.
GOOD BYEEEE (MWAH)…
and
GOOD NIGHT! - BANG!