The Clapper

[Brian W.]

- Matt Hardy is seen sitting in a dark room. The only light in the room was flashing and flickering from the television in the room. With the light from the television you can slightly make out bookshelves covering the walls beside Hardy, each bookshelf packed full with books. The camera zoomed in on Hardy’s face, showing a crazed and almost psychotic look. The camera slowly moved behind Hardy to show what he is closely watching. Bobby Roode was seen on the screen with his hand raised in the air in celebration after defeating Cody in the first round of the King of the Ring tournament. Hardy laughed his crazed laugh as the screen rewound back about ten seconds. The footage played again and again showed Roode with his hand in the air in celebration. Hardy again laughed as he stood up and started clapping. With every two claps the lights changed from being on, to turning off. This happened for about 3 rounds before Hardy spoke –

Matt Hardy: Clap on! Clap off! THE CLAPPER!

- Hardy again laughed and turned to the camera behind him –

Matt Hardy: You made it! HOW DELIGHTFUL!!!! Welcome, to the Hardy Compound! Wait a second…

- Hardy looked around in confusion –

Matt Hardy: Where is Renee Young?! I REEEEEquested my friend Renee!

Cameraman: Renee was not interested in coming here today. She said she didn’t want to interview you ever again. No one else was interested in coming either. Said they were freaked out by the whole idea of coming to the Hardy Compound?

Matt Hardy: Freaked out? BY WHAT?! This place contains some of the greatest, most brilliant minds in the whole exisTEEENCE of the World! The first day I stepped foot on this land, I knew I had to travel through time and help them! In the lives they were living, they were all soon going to be coming to their eventual demise! Some by war, some by poisoning, even one by way of… That doesn’t matter! I traveled back so I could capture their souls and bring them back to this compound with me. Here, by my side, they can live for EEEEEEEEEternity! I keep them alive, and in return, they share their many insights with me. We discuss the past, the present, and even the FUTURRRRE! A discussion today that, for the first time, included the name Bobby Roode. Bobby Roode, interestingly enough, is also someone from my past. But none of that matters. The past can’t be changed. Only the FUUUUUUUUTURE… YESSSSSSSSS! And the future, according to Genghis, is very bright for Matt Hardy!

- Hardy shook his head as if in disagreement –

Matt Hardy: Last night, when sharing thoughts with my friends here on the compound, everyone agreed of what I have to do to Bobby Roode in order to advance in the King of the Ring tournament. Well, everyone except one deranged person. This simple, thick imbecile forbade what I need to do. He demanded silence and lectured to me that when I am confronted with an opponent, I should conquer him with love. Love? LOVE!?! I never did think Gandhi knew what he was talking about. There is, simply, no room for love here in the EBWF. Especially not in the King of the Ring tournament. NO! I sat there and demanded Gandhi give me helpful advice! But all he would do was talk to me about loooooove. Needless to say, I locked him back up. And refused to feed him his favorite food for the night. Carrots. Unfortunately for Gandhi and Bobby Roode, I won’t be adhering to that advice!!! Bobby Roode has been on his path to glory. He thinks he is the most glorious man in this company. Monday night, that expedeeeetion of glory is going to be unceremoniously… DELETED! All the hard work Roode has put in, going to the store and buying those bricks, having them engraved with names of insignifffficant wrestlers, carrying said bricks around in a sleeping bag. SIDE BAR!

- Hardy waved the camera over to follow him a couple of steps to the right and put his hand over the side of his mouth as if he were telling a secret –

Matt Hardy: Why a sleeping bag?! Roode is carrying those bricks around just like I used to do with candy on Halloween. SIDE BAR OVER!

- Hardy moved a couple of steps to the left to take the original position he was in –

Matt Hardy: All that hard work is going to be a waste. Monday night, I will end Roode’s walk down the path, I will delete his progress by hitting him with The Deletion, and I will move to the next round of the tournament where, I will once again, become a king!! And it shall be…

- Hardy threw his hands up in the air –

Matt Hardy: WONDERFUL!!!!!!

- Hardy began to clap again, causing the lights to continuously turn off and on. While doing so, he began to laugh hysterically as the camera zoomed in on his face and faded to black –