Throwing in my... sombrero (?)

[Juan Ramirez]

The scene faded from black as the camera focused on some shiny italian shoes, the camera continued to pan upwards, showing a very nifty looking tuxedo, before focusing on his round, pale face and black, greasy hair. Ricardo Rodriguez, who used to officiate as Alberto del Rio's personal ring announcer stood while holding his bow tie carefully with the tips of his fingers, adjusting it. Standing next to him was Jonathan Coachman who had a red polo shirt and kahki pants, with a microphone on his hands. Ricardo threw a look of disdain at him.

Ricardo Rodriguez: I'll save you the shame of showing these people you have absolutely no idea on how to properly introduce someone, SAQUESE!

Ricardo snatched the microphone from The Coach and ran a hand along his black hair.

Ricardo Rodriguez: Damas y Caballeros levantense para saludar a un gran hombre! El anunciador más listo, más guapo, más rápido y más agresivo de toda la EBWF... RICARDO RODRIGUEZ! (Ladies and gentlemen stand up to greet a great man! The smartest, fastest and most aggressive superstar in EBWF... RICARDO RODRIGUEZ).

Ricardo tossed the mic at Coachman.

Ricardo Rodriguez: De nada. (You're welcome)

The Coach: Okay, Ricardo... You said you had some news for the EBWF fans tonight?

Ricardo Rodriguez: Noticias? Para esos mugrosos fans? (News for those filthy fans?)

The Coach: Huh?

Ricardo Rodriguez: As if they gave a tortilla about me! They're so obsessed with stars like Randy Orton and AJ Styles they couldn't see real talent even if someone served it to them with guacamole, totopos and chalupas!

The Coach: What's with the food references?

Ricardo Rodriguez: I'm hungry. Haven't had a decent meal in months! Which brings me to my huge ass announcement! Mi grandioso anuncio!!! I heard there was going to be some sort of batalla real for some tag title match? Well I'm throwing my sombrero in!

The Coach: You want to be Tag Champion?

Ricardo Rodriguez: Nah, don't get me wrong... I am far to valuable for that horrible belt, I mean: Have you looked at the champions? They suck! They are idiots! And they wouldn't outwrestle a string ball even if their life depended on it... I don't think I want to be tag champion, ever... But I feel it is a good time to get some competition prior to Summerslam.

The Coach: if it is not about the tag titles...

Ricardo Rodriguez: And don't forget, if I win I have to partner up with one of them gringos mugrosos, gordos, obesos, come hamburguesas! (fat, obese, burger eating gringos).

The Coach: Alright, then... If it is not about the tag titles and not about having to partner up with obese burger eating gringos... What's this all about?

Ricardo Rodriguez: Well Coach, it is because of Kane. You see, he wanted everything to revolve around him in EBWF and he made it. As you probably know, I challenged Kane for a match at Summerslam... I haven't been in a ring in ages and I think it is a good time to shake off some ring rust and definitely deliver a message to Kane... I hope he hasn't forgotten I will see him and beat him at Summerslam! Plus, with Alberto del Rio losing his mind I am pretty much out of a job... AND I GOTTA EAT!

The Coach: Alright... Do you really expect them to take you seriously at the ring?

Ricardo Rodriguez: Hey, they take you seriously... Weren't you on ESPN for a while? Anything can happen! If you can work on Sportscenter I can be World Champion! Sure, I haven't done this in a while but beer gut and all I can pull out some pretty amazing lucha libre top rope moves... While you couldn't return to sportscenter, now even with a toupeé... Now if you excuse me... ME VOY A PATEAR TRASEROS GRINGOS MUGROSOS!!!! (I'm off to kick some filthy gringo asses!)

Ricardo did a dismissing gesture and walked away from the cameraman.