There's a new video upload to EBWF's Twitter.
Click!
The video begins to play.
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Static fills the screen. Slowly, a EBWF logo appears at the bottom right of the screen.
A figure has his back turned to the camera, a black hoodie covering him.
It seems we are in the depths of an industrial area. Maybe in the deepest part of an arena somewhere. After a few moments, a very familiar voice called out.
"It's been a long time. I'm sure you missed me just as much as I missed you..."
The figure turned around.
HOLY SHIT! IT'S CM PUNK!
CM Punk: As much as I would like to say that Jeff Hardy and myself are kindred spirits ... We aren't! When this industry chewed Jeff up and spit him out, he got back on his horse and he turned things around. He changed this industry. But, he did it because he was SELFISH. It wasn't because Jeff was looking to transform the landscape of the business. When Jeff was sick of this industry, he decided to transform it into something that suited his needs .. not the needs of those around him. Jeff, you had a chance .. an opportunity .. to become a revolutionary. You could have changed the industry, but instead .. you decided to build your own spotlight. Jeff, I want to know .. when was the last time that you took a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror? No matter what these fans think of you or how many autographs they ask you for at the airport at 5AM ... No matter how much hype you get on social media .. the reflection never lies, Jeff. You know deep down that what you've done to this industry is a BAD thing.
Ah, there's that infamous bitterness from Punk that we've seen so many times. One of the most jaded performers, Punk never had a problem letting people know exactly how he felt. He smacked on his gum and rolled his neck back and forth, continuing to speak.
CM Punk: It's not that I don't respect Jeff Hardy.. I mean, I don't .. but that's not the issue here. He hogs the spotlight for himself it certainly reeks of ... bullshit... to me. Hey, Jeff, can I offer you some drugs while you're at it? Give me a break. You want to break the status quo? You ARE the status quo, and the saddest thing is that you're too blind to realize it. But I made my bed when I agreed to a contract here and now I've got to lie in it. But what were my options here? I mean, there was absolutely no way that I’m going to stand by and let you do that to me. So, do I sit at home and just carry this vinegar that I've got building up inside of me? That seems like a waste. So, that brings me here, EBWF.
He scoffed and rolled his eyes. It doesn't seem as if Punk was falling into line with what EBWF might have planned. But that was the nature of CM Punk, wasn't it? He was combative. He was known to be an asshole. But he was "our" asshole.
CM Punk: The fact of the matter is this ... it doesn't matter how much I'm overlooked, because I have danced this dance before. I will always and consistently rise to the top, because there is no one like me in this industry and ... as proof by my time away, there will never be anyone like me, ever again! My big gripe is that there is a line of guys out there who have been beating down my door to get an opportunity to wrestle me. There's kids who deserve the opportunity to be in there with the best in the world ... and then there are guys like Johnny Gargano... guys like Jeff Hardy who sit around with nothing better to do than sling mud and post hot takes on Twitter. You, Jeff Hardy, are not in my league. Just how your wife is not in your league, kid. This best in the world moniker isn't just some nickname, Charismatic Enigma. It's the God's honest truth. You need to realize that you are dealing with someone on such a higher level than you. In fact, it's exactly what Jeff is going to encounter in our triple threat match on Warfare. Now onto Johnny Gargano you see, Johnny, you might be talented but you've never encountered anything like you're about to encounter. You are not mentally prepared for what you are about to experience. You might think that you're "cool" ... but you have no idea what's going to happen when you step through that thin black curtain tonight. There's all my fans, waiting on the other side of that curtain, Johnny. Are you ready for that? I don't think that you are. It's unlike anything you've ever experienced in your little career. And on the outside, Johnny Gargano while you paint this picture of you as cool, calm and collected .. I know that deep down... somewhere deep within your core, you are absolutely terrified. And you know what, man? You have every single reason to feel that way.
It was obvious that things with CM Punk and EBWF weren't off to a great start since he returned. He looked off into the distance, gathering his thoughts. Maybe the things he thought were even too much for him to handle as he scoffed and rolled his eyes yet again. He used his tongue to poke at and twirl his lip ring. Punk shook his head and locked eyes with the camera, continuing to speak at a fast pace on his tirade.
CM Punk: Either one of you think you're going to beat me? Well, let me tell you something, Jeff Hardy and Johnny Gargano . Let's get things straight right now. You two are not on my level. So by the simple fact that the EBWF placed me in a triple threat match against you two. I feel like that’s a slap in my face. Time and time again, I expect things to change .. but I just keep getting slapped in the face. So Johnny, Jeff you two do your worst .. because better men have tried .. and better men have failed. The only thing it's done is piss me off beyond comprehension. The fact that I've been relegated to facing someone like you is all the disrespect that I need to fuel my fire. So in a weird way, I guess I should be saying "thanks". Thank you, Jeff Hardy and Johnny Gargano for being the sacrificial lambs that gets led to the slaughter at the altar. Yes, come Monday, there's a lot of things happening on Warfare. The biggest one being CM Punk wrestling on Warfre. I'm going to remind everyone watching around the globe .. that CM Punk is the BEST IN THE WORLD.
What a dramatic pause while Punk lifted his arms and crossed them across his chest, showcasing the black "X" markings on his fists. He stared deeply into the camera as he uttered the phrase that carried him throughout the independent territory for over a decade. With a sly smirk on his face yet with a booming tone, he continued to speak
CM Punk: Johnny Gargano, Jeff Hardy this Monday on Warfare, you two will go face to face with me. You two will lose, you two will be humbled and embarrassed. I’m going to drop both of your smug faces across my knee, and put you two to sleep. Jeff, maybe when I drop your face across my knee, I’ll knock the drugs out of you.
A slight chuckle from CM Punk. Punk shook his head and wiped his mouth with his index finger and his thumb. He shook his head and took a deep breath.
CM Punk: Do you know why that is, Jeff Hardy and Johnny Gargano? I’ll tell you two why It's because I am ... STRAIGHT EDGE ... and STRAIGHT EDGE MEANS I'M BETTER THAN YOU! This is ... true ... this is ... real ... THIS. IS. STRAIGHT! EDGE.
Punk smiled and nodded his head. Punk turned and walked off camera and down a corridor towards the entrance area, where presumably, he was on his way to Warfare. Our feed would come to a close as EBWF’s Warfare was mere moments away from beginning.
