We’re really glad that you’re our friend, and this will friendship that will never ever end!
The sound of many children clapping and cheering were piped into the scene as the pastel colored set lit up, the door in the center opening up and revealing the Funhouse host, Bray Wyatt. He was wearing his signature maroon sweater and black hurt/heal gloves. He seemed to be soaking in the artificially piped in adulation of the children.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: KING OF THE RING! I am SO excited to be here, boys and girls! I’m so jazzed up, I could literally pop!
What laughed and clapped along with the cheers of the children.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: It has been such an amazing, spectacular, incredible debut for me. How amazing is it that I’m in the second round of the King of the Ring tournament?! Not only that, but I defeated Roman Reigns to get here! Can you believe it?! I beat the guy that says he always eats at the head of the table! ONLY IMPORTANT PEOPLE EAT THERE!
Wyatt cackled uncontrollably, clutching his tummy as he doubled over in laughter. A high pitched, scratchy voice rang out suddenly, catching Wyatt by surprise.
Voice: Hey, man... you gotta focus! You can be actin' this silly when you got Samoa Joe lurking around!
The camera zoomed in on a cartoonishly surprised look on Wyatt's face.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: YOWEE WOWEE, boys and girls! Looks like we have a new visitor to the Firefly Funhouse! It's RAMBLIN' RABBIT!
The kids cheered loudly as a roughly stitched together, buck toothed, gray-furred rabbit puppet popped up behind one of the tables on the set.
Rambling Rabbit: Dude! You're like, one of the best wrestlers in this (BLEEP) company and you're doing this kids show (BLEEP) when (BLEEP) Samoa Joe has his (BLEEP) (BLEEP) locked in on your (BLEEP)!
Bray Wyatt blinked several times as the camera zoomed in on him. He looked at the camera incredulously.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: Uh, check out Mr. Potty Mouth over here! Excuse me, Rambling Rabbit, but I am plenty focused on Samoa Joe! What's wrong with me celebrating my victories?
Rambling Rabbit: Uh, because they happened like three (BLEEP) weeks ago? And now you've got a guy this week that says he's literally going to (BLEEP) kill you.
Wyatt laughed maniacally, walking over and patronizingly patting Rambling Rabbit on the head.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: Don't you worry your ugly little head, Rambling Rabbit! Good ole Funhouse Bray Wyatt has this well in hand!
Rambling Rabbit: Oh really? Listen, I saw your match against Roman Reigns. You looked great out there.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: Why thank you, Rabbit! I'm blushing!
Rambling Rabbit: Yeah, and you didn't even have to (BLEEP) tap into the other guy to do it.
Wyatt's look soured all of a sudden. His normally jovial features turned to anger, almost on a dime.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: Don't. Talk. About. Him.
Rambling Rabbit: Why not? I know you were brought in by Paul Heyman to be his personal bodyguard and errand boy, but even Paul E doesn't know what he's unleashed. It's (BLEEP) scary dude, and I know you're tempted to let him come out and play.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: I'm warning you, Rabbit...
Rambling Rabbit: What are you gonna do, Bray? Rip my head off? Hit me with a mallet? Nah, you're not gonna do that because you know what I'm saying is true. Bray Wyatt's good enough to go out there and beat Samoa Joe on his own. Without help.
Wyatt scratched his chin, deep in contemplation. He smiled big.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: You know what, Rambling Rabbit? You're right! I went out there and I beat Roman Reigns all by myself! But...
The camera zoomed in on his face as his eyes darted around the room nervously, pantomiming that he was noxiously biting his nails.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: But Samoa Joe beat The Rock! What chance do I have?
Rambling Rabbit: You're super talented, dude! And Samoa Joe isn't (BLEEP) scary. He paints an arrow on his face and carries a knife around. Big (BLEEP) whoop. Ain't no one you need but yourself to be that big bag of ham.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: You're absolutely right, Rambling Rabbit! I can beat Samoa Joe BY MYSELF! I don't need anyone else to...
Paul Heyman: What the hell is this?
Wyatt turned around and saw Paul Heyman walking onto the set.
Paul Heyman: You're supposed to be facing Samoa Joe in a couple hours. What are you doing?
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: Stop it, silly! I'm talking to my friend! He's giving me the courage that I need to go out there and beat Samoa Joe on my own!
Paul's look was incredulous.
Paul Heyman: Wait, who did you say you were talking do?
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: My friend! He's over at that table over there! Paul, meet Rambling Rabbit! He's a great guy...even though he cusses like a sailor.
Paul Heyman: Bray, there's no one there.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: Of course there is! He's right over...
Wyatt gestured towards the table near the side of the set, but it was completely empty.
Paul Heyman: We don't have time for this. You remember what our plan is tonight, right? We're going to take the next step in my plan, and I need you and your friend to make sure it happens.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: Don't worry, Paul E! We're going to enjoy a lot of success tonight.
Wyatt's head twitched slightly.
"Funhouse" Bray Wyatt: I have a... good feeling.
He smirked and walked off the set, leaving Paul looking around as the scene faded to black.
