TAG MATCHES ALWAYS CAUSE TREBLE
-Winning matches isn't their forte!
-It will only take a minuet!*The newly dubbed 'starlets' of Paul Heyman were lounging about in the backstage area while sharing a large couch together. They didn't look very enthused by the camera that was filming over the announcer that was standing in front of it. Paige was wearing a black, victorian, gothic dress with a pair of purple and black stockings underneath. She looked over her make up in a coffin styled mirror with a lack of interest. Maryse was sitting to the opposite of her dire team mate and was wearing a white tank top, a pair of tight, black leather shorts and knee high black boots. One of her hands were resting on her cheek.*
Maryse: This is going to be stupid.
Paige: Really stupid.
The Coach: With me currently are Maryse and Paige. A lot went down at Warfare but notably we saw that you two aligned yourself with Paul Heyman and his growing group of talent. What led you to this decision?
Maryse: Why do you think, Dick?
~Maryse answered without looking at the camera or the interviewer.~
The Coach: U-Uhm, well the audience was hoping you could answer that for us..
Maryse: When I won the Queen Of The Ring..did I get any promo time in the ring? Did I get my crown, big ass scepter and cape? Where was my throne? Hm?
The Coach: I guess there wasn't time?
Maryse: Wasn't time? CM Punk got his little coronation and he didn't even want the damn things. That's why we're with Heyman. Winning that tournament should have been a big deal. But no one even blinked an eye. Paul Heyman is going to give us the star treatment that we deserve. Even if we have to take it.
The Coach: And I'm guessing part of that involved attack A.J. Lee..
Maryse: Awww. Poor little A.J. got hurt. Men aren't the only one who can bleed, huh? I told you. We're not messing around here.
Paige: It was nice but too brief. Too fast. You don't get a lot of pleasure when it's that swift. I like it when things draw out a little more. Makes me all tingly.
Maryse: We're talking about taking over here not your weirdo fetish.
Paige: Oh. Excuse me. I'll reiterate. Beating down A.J. was easier than Maryse in a frat house..
~Maryse and Paige slowly looked to one another with angry stares.~
The Coach: We'll get to see if your newly formed alliance with Paul Heyman will be a fruitful combination as you both will be in action to take on the team of Sable and Lana Starr.
~The twosome looked both confused and agitated~
Maryse: Who in the [HORRIBLE EXPLETIVE] is LANA STARR?
The Coach: Here wrestling background involved a brief stint in the organization known as WOW. Women Of Wrestling.
Maryse: And how long did THAT last?
The Coach: Twenty four episodes and a pay per view.
Maryse: Boy. We're really in trouble here. Glad they're bringing in the big guns.
~Obviously her voice was dripping with sarcasm.~
Maryse: You see? This is EXACTLY the kind of shit I'm talking about! We're STARS. We shouldn't have to wrestle these D-level nobodies who couldn't even get on a Shimmer card! Lana Starr my hot, sweet ass!
Paige: And what level of hell did they dig Sable out of? Is she going through another divorce or something? That's the only reason I could imagine her reemerging.
Maryse: Do you know who Sable was married to at one point? MARC MERO. Can you even IMAGINE what sex with him would be like?
Paige: No, I can honestly say that sexing up a guy who used to dress like Little Richard has never creeped into even my most horrible nightmares.
Maryse: We are NOT being taken seriously! We literally are being thrown the absolute worst possible opponents in the universe! Do they think we're messing around or something?!
The Coach: I-
~Maryse looked up from the couch and snapped at the interviewer~
Maryse: Shut up, Coach, nobody's talking to you! Is anybody paying to see Sable do 'THE GRIND' anymore? Hell no! They want to see ME do it! My body is perfect and oh so sensitive..
~The blonde wiggled around sensually and made a few sex related breathing sounds. She snapped up at Coach again~
Maryse: Stop getting off of there, Coach! Why don't you do your job for once?!
The Coach: I, I mean, uh-
Paige: Can we go now? Knowing that my future involves SABLE and LANA STARR makes me want to start cutting for real and not just for attention.
~The duo stood from The Couch and Maryse held her palm in front of Coach's face to prevent him from asking any more questions.~
Maryse: We've got places to go, Coach. And better things to do then hang out in these dusty ass hallways. Heyman has gotten us some REAL opportunities that this company couldn't bother to give us. Paige is going to be on the cover of Hot Topic weekly and I'm going to be on..some god damn fancy magazine with Oprah or something.
Paige: 'Sexy Sorority Girl Slut O-Ween 2012' is a DVD not a magazine.
Maryse: That wasn't ME I wouldn't work on a shoot without at least a ten million dollar budget and swank ass catering!
~The two bickered as they walked off of the camera while Coach sighed in exasperation.~
-Here comes the second act! All up in yo' mouth! -For reals.~Paul Heyman had used his extensive resources to get Maryse and Paige time at a large recording studio. With his connections they no longer had to work for chances in other media outlets. They could just simply stroll in wherever they wanted. The pair stood inside of a recording room with a glass window separating them from a sound engineer. The middle aged man sat on a stool in front of a large console with tons of buttons and levers. Maryse stood in front of a microphone stand and Paige was not too far off and holding a bass. The skele-cat stuffed animal that Paige often packed about was curiously sitting on a stool beside her with it's own plush bass strapped to it.~
Engineer: Are either of you actually musically inclined?
Maryse: I have the voice of a thousand angels, cock face.
Paige: I have no idea how to play bass.
Maryse: It doesn't matter. He can just fix it later.
Engineer: Uh..alright...uh..we have a drum machine..and I can get someone to play guitar on it..
Maryse: Don't ask Wes Ikeda. He wouldn't know what to do with all the brilliance that we're about to lay down.
Engineer: ..I'm..sure.. What is this song about anyway? Just curious. It will help me develop the sound.
Maryse: It's about how Lana Starr and Sable are stupid whores who should die and about how much we hate them.
Paige: Yeah.
~The Engineer didn't say a word for a few moments. He probably hated Paul Heyman a lot right now.~
Engineer: Brilliant. Ready to record whenever you are.
~While Paige began to mindlessly pluck on the bass Maryse started to sing. And it sounded like a cat being ran over with by a bus. She stopped and glared through the glass.~
Maryse: Hey! STUPID! Auto-tune my voice! Makes everybody sound good.
~The engineer sighed.~
Engineer: Alright the auto-tune is on.
~Maryse cleared her throat and Paige started "playing" again. Maryse vocals came out in the overly robotic, T-Pain, auto-tune way.~
Maryse: "My name is Maryse and I'm crazy sexy.
And blonde.
Lana Starr is a dumb bitch.
Who has hep.
And STDS.
She smells like raw fish.
My name is Maryse.
Lana Starr is still a dumb bitch.
I hate her.
She isn't as hot as me.
No one likes her. Not even her parents.
Sable is also a dumb bitch.
And she's old.
And no one cares.
She was in Corky Romano which is like the worst movie ever.
She looks like Courtney Love's asshole exploded."
Engineer: I..
~The Engineer looked ready to change the direction his life was headed after those "interesting" sounds invaded his ears.~
Engineer: What would you even call the song?!
Maryse: I don't know. That's YOUR job, douche bag! Just have that single ready to go by Monday!
~Maryse knocked over her mic-stand while Paige lifted her bass high above her head and smashed it to bits on the floor. The Engineer wanted to loudly ask why she was doing that but was too appalled to even bother.~
Paige: THANK YOU! YOU'VE BEEN A LOVELY AUDIENCE! THANKS FOR COMING OUT AND KEEPING THE SCENE ALIVE!
~She followed along after Maryse while the poor engineer buried his hand over his face.~