An expensive conference room in an equally fancy hotel in Louisville has been all decked out for an important press conference. A brand new EBWF backdrop has been hung at the back of the room, clashing a bit with the golden trim all around the chamber and the highly polished wooden floor upon which many folding chairs have been set up. As the time draws near, the room is full of reporters chomping at the bit to get their burning questions answered. Right before the backdrop is a long folding table behind which three women sit. Jamie Hayter's there in jeans and an Oedo Tai t-shirt, looking amused by all the attention her teammate's getting. At the opposite end of the table is AZM, the youngest member of the EBWF roster, wearing a half purple, half black jacket and sunglasses. Between them in a pristine beige dress and cardigan sits Tam Nakano. Her once brunette hair's been dyed black and is held back in a fluffy ponytail by an equally fluffy white scrunchie. Save for the company she keeps and her change of hair color, she looks just like the fan favorite Twilight Dream she's been for the past five years of her career. In front of her sits the EBWF Women's Championship, prominently displayed to the world as the press conference gets underway. She nods to her teammates and smirks.
AZM: Look at this turnout for the first Oedo Tai press conference! Seems like even the out of touch people here know who's got the real power in women's wrestling. Let's get this going! I'm going to turn it over to YOUR EBWF Women's Champion, the Final Boss and leader of Oedo Tai, Tam Nakano. Everyone give YOUR champ a big hand!
There's some scattered applause before Tam takes the mic and nods to the reporters.
Tam: Good afternoon, I'm the cutest Final Boss in the world, the Darkest in the Cosmos, and the undisputed champion of women's wrestling, Tam Nakano. Go ahead and ask any questions you might have, and if I feel like it I'll answer them.
After a moment, a man in the front row raises his hand.
Reporter: Tam, I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that it's a bit surprising to see you involved with Oedo Tai. Why is it that you've sided with a faction that's been responsible for several vicious attacks on other wrestlers?
Tam raises an incredulous eyebrow.
Tam: Really? Are you deaf? Didn't you see the last Warfare? I spelled all this out for you all in perfectly good detail on live TV! But sure, I'll tell you a little story. Five years ago I finally got a shot at the big time in the biggest women's promotion in Japan. I was the new girl, a former idol who everyone just assumed had been hired because she had good looks but no wrestling talent. For several months I just struggled to find my place while all the so-called stars and icons of the sport just treated me like a joke. Except one group - Oedo Tai. From the start they took an interest in me, they looked out for me, they were always there to pick me up when I got knocked down. No one else wanted me around but Oedo Tai invited me to join in all of their group activiites and treated me like a sister. It was only natural that I joined them after they showed me love when no one else cared. In Oedo Tai I started to find myself, but I was forced out of the group by a self-serving 'legend' who couldn't stand that we were better than anything she'd ever created. I spent five long years being part of other factions or trying to form my own in a different vein. But everyone forgot about me or left me - Iwatani, Hoshiki, Shirakawa, Unagi. All of them thought they were better off without Tam, so they pushed Tam away. I tried SO HARD to find my place in the world with 'good' people, but they all just wanted what I had. They all wanted to be Tam, to replace Tam. So I turned to the one group that actually cared about me. The family I should never have had to leave - Oedo Tai. And together? We've made EBWF ours.
A finely dressed woman in the second row stands up.
Reporter 2: At Gateway to Glory, you're facing Trish Stratus for the first time in two years. What are your thoughts heading into this huge rematch with a legend of professional wrestling?
Tam: Yes, yes, we've ALL heard the stats about how awesome Trish is. People just won't shut up about how many things she's accomplished in this sport, including her. I'm not going to waste my time repeating all the numbers since we've been hit over the head by them so many times in the past month. So she's held a bunch of titles and been around forever in EBWF. Great, fantastic! But let me be blunt about this - Trish Stratus might be a 'living legend' , but just counting on your past accomplishments is a sign of weakness. The reason she keeps talking about how legendary she thinks she is is because she's desperate to stay relevant in a world that's moved on from her. Someone with her track record and all those accolades doesn't have any reason to still be around in the sport does she? No one's going to question how amazing she is because everyone's been blinded by their nostalgia. But the longer she spent away doing whatever else it is that she does when she's not stroking her ego, the more people realized there's a huge world of women's wrestling outside of Trish Stratus. That's why she came out of the woodwork like a cockroach to get the nostalgia train going again. Trish might be a legend, but the way she clings so desperately to the past is kind of sad isn't it? But that's fine, because -
Tam pauses dramatically, taps her chin playfully in thought and then holds up one finger.
Tam: There's ONE thing the illustrious Trish Stratus has never done. Not that she's special in that, because no one's been able to do it in the past year. And that thing is beat Tam Nakano. You like to fall back on your laurels, Trish? Well let's go back to two years ago - the last time we fought, the first time I embarrassed you in front of the world, that was the last time you were relevant. The invincible legend got herself pinned by a girl who talked to a stuffed panda. Now I'm sure you're going to say that victory was pure luck and that I've only held the belt so long because I haven't fought you. Get over yourself Trish. Because in the last two years, you've gone away for other things while I've forged myself into the most dangerous living weapon in the world of professional wrestling. Trish Stratus stayed the same as two years ago, sometimes coming back for that cheap nostalgia moment before going away to pursue some vanity project that'd be a bit excessive for that Hollywood Hothead Becky Lynch. Meanwhile Tam Nakano's been back in EBWF, carrying the entire women's division on her shoulders and proving every single match that she's head and shoulders above the rest of the so-called talent in the world.
Tam shrugs, believing she's stated an obvious fact.
Tam: So while Trish hasn't changed at all, I've evolved. I've gotten stronger, more focused and far more dominant than I've ever been. She pops in what, three or four times a year when she feels like it? I've been back since last July and gone undefeated in that time. The fact is, I was already better than Trish Stratus two years ago, and since then I've gotten that much better than I was. I don't think Trish realizes who she's getting in the ring with, but I'm happy to kick her ass just like I've kicked the asses of every single woman who's stepped up to try and take my championship.
Another woman raises her hand timidly.
Reporter 3: You've just passed 300 days as EBWF Women's Champion, and if you can beat Trish Stratus you'll become the longest reigning EBWF Women's Champion in history. What's your mindset knowing you're one victory away from history?
Tam: Simple. I'm going to win no matter what. This is my division now, it has been since I returned to EBWF last year. Like I said last Warfare, I came back to test how much stronger I'd become and ended up being disappointed by the state of women's wrestling here. Every last woman in this locker room has gotten weak and pathetic, and so if falls to me to drag the entire division back up by any means necessary. I've been setting the standard for the past year, and now no one can question that the girl everyone left behind five years ago is the best in the world. To make this place better, to raise its level to an acceptable standard, I need to shatter every last piece of the old EBWF. I've already beaten everyone else, I've won back MY championship, and now I'm going to burn away the greatest record of Trish Stratus. I took this title from her before, and now I'm going to take the last thing she's got left: her legacy.
Tam laughs a little.
Tam: Does that make you angry Trish? I know that your legacy is the most important thing you've got. That's why you came back and asked for a shot at Tam, isn't it? Every day we get closer to 309, you must've gotten more and more nervous that someone was finally going to replace you at the top. So you came back and said that your legacy means that you ARE the line. I have to wonder if you're really ready to fight someone like me. Your mind seems to be entirely on Becky Lynch instead of Tam or the EBWF Women's Championship. She made one stupid little movie scene about you and now your entire life is dedicated to ensuring that she never becomes champion. Well news flash, Trish. Oedo Tai respects your contributions to the sport so much that we did you a solid. We ensured that Becky would be sidelined indefinitely so she can't possibly challenge me for this beautiful championship. In one night we did what you've dedicated your entire existence to! You're welcome.
She pats Jamie on the shoulder before continuing.
Tam: And when the bell rings tonight, I'm going to make that movie scene come to life. Because I am going to put Trish Stratus down in front of the entire world. By kicking her ass and exposing her as a dinosaur who should've gone extinct years ago, I'll finally force everyone to accept that I AM the Final Boss of EBWF. I AM the standard by which everyone else is measured, and the rest of women's wrestling has fallen far behind. And as long as that's the case, I'm not going to pretend to be humble about the fact that I'm the most dominant champion in EBWF history. I'm not going to smile and just wish for a good match while everyone else fails to pull their weight. I'm going to do whatever the hell I want - Oedo Tai is going to do whatever the hell WE want. We run this place.
She then stands up and holds her belt up.
Tam: If anyone has a problem with that, if you hate me..
She shoulders the belt and cocks her head to the side. With a cute sparkling smile she flips the bird to the camera.
Tam: Then get BETTER than me.
AZM: Look at this turnout for the first Oedo Tai press conference! Seems like even the out of touch people here know who's got the real power in women's wrestling. Let's get this going! I'm going to turn it over to YOUR EBWF Women's Champion, the Final Boss and leader of Oedo Tai, Tam Nakano. Everyone give YOUR champ a big hand!
There's some scattered applause before Tam takes the mic and nods to the reporters.
Tam: Good afternoon, I'm the cutest Final Boss in the world, the Darkest in the Cosmos, and the undisputed champion of women's wrestling, Tam Nakano. Go ahead and ask any questions you might have, and if I feel like it I'll answer them.
After a moment, a man in the front row raises his hand.
Reporter: Tam, I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that it's a bit surprising to see you involved with Oedo Tai. Why is it that you've sided with a faction that's been responsible for several vicious attacks on other wrestlers?
Tam raises an incredulous eyebrow.
Tam: Really? Are you deaf? Didn't you see the last Warfare? I spelled all this out for you all in perfectly good detail on live TV! But sure, I'll tell you a little story. Five years ago I finally got a shot at the big time in the biggest women's promotion in Japan. I was the new girl, a former idol who everyone just assumed had been hired because she had good looks but no wrestling talent. For several months I just struggled to find my place while all the so-called stars and icons of the sport just treated me like a joke. Except one group - Oedo Tai. From the start they took an interest in me, they looked out for me, they were always there to pick me up when I got knocked down. No one else wanted me around but Oedo Tai invited me to join in all of their group activiites and treated me like a sister. It was only natural that I joined them after they showed me love when no one else cared. In Oedo Tai I started to find myself, but I was forced out of the group by a self-serving 'legend' who couldn't stand that we were better than anything she'd ever created. I spent five long years being part of other factions or trying to form my own in a different vein. But everyone forgot about me or left me - Iwatani, Hoshiki, Shirakawa, Unagi. All of them thought they were better off without Tam, so they pushed Tam away. I tried SO HARD to find my place in the world with 'good' people, but they all just wanted what I had. They all wanted to be Tam, to replace Tam. So I turned to the one group that actually cared about me. The family I should never have had to leave - Oedo Tai. And together? We've made EBWF ours.
A finely dressed woman in the second row stands up.
Reporter 2: At Gateway to Glory, you're facing Trish Stratus for the first time in two years. What are your thoughts heading into this huge rematch with a legend of professional wrestling?
Tam: Yes, yes, we've ALL heard the stats about how awesome Trish is. People just won't shut up about how many things she's accomplished in this sport, including her. I'm not going to waste my time repeating all the numbers since we've been hit over the head by them so many times in the past month. So she's held a bunch of titles and been around forever in EBWF. Great, fantastic! But let me be blunt about this - Trish Stratus might be a 'living legend' , but just counting on your past accomplishments is a sign of weakness. The reason she keeps talking about how legendary she thinks she is is because she's desperate to stay relevant in a world that's moved on from her. Someone with her track record and all those accolades doesn't have any reason to still be around in the sport does she? No one's going to question how amazing she is because everyone's been blinded by their nostalgia. But the longer she spent away doing whatever else it is that she does when she's not stroking her ego, the more people realized there's a huge world of women's wrestling outside of Trish Stratus. That's why she came out of the woodwork like a cockroach to get the nostalgia train going again. Trish might be a legend, but the way she clings so desperately to the past is kind of sad isn't it? But that's fine, because -
Tam pauses dramatically, taps her chin playfully in thought and then holds up one finger.
Tam: There's ONE thing the illustrious Trish Stratus has never done. Not that she's special in that, because no one's been able to do it in the past year. And that thing is beat Tam Nakano. You like to fall back on your laurels, Trish? Well let's go back to two years ago - the last time we fought, the first time I embarrassed you in front of the world, that was the last time you were relevant. The invincible legend got herself pinned by a girl who talked to a stuffed panda. Now I'm sure you're going to say that victory was pure luck and that I've only held the belt so long because I haven't fought you. Get over yourself Trish. Because in the last two years, you've gone away for other things while I've forged myself into the most dangerous living weapon in the world of professional wrestling. Trish Stratus stayed the same as two years ago, sometimes coming back for that cheap nostalgia moment before going away to pursue some vanity project that'd be a bit excessive for that Hollywood Hothead Becky Lynch. Meanwhile Tam Nakano's been back in EBWF, carrying the entire women's division on her shoulders and proving every single match that she's head and shoulders above the rest of the so-called talent in the world.
Tam shrugs, believing she's stated an obvious fact.
Tam: So while Trish hasn't changed at all, I've evolved. I've gotten stronger, more focused and far more dominant than I've ever been. She pops in what, three or four times a year when she feels like it? I've been back since last July and gone undefeated in that time. The fact is, I was already better than Trish Stratus two years ago, and since then I've gotten that much better than I was. I don't think Trish realizes who she's getting in the ring with, but I'm happy to kick her ass just like I've kicked the asses of every single woman who's stepped up to try and take my championship.
Another woman raises her hand timidly.
Reporter 3: You've just passed 300 days as EBWF Women's Champion, and if you can beat Trish Stratus you'll become the longest reigning EBWF Women's Champion in history. What's your mindset knowing you're one victory away from history?
Tam: Simple. I'm going to win no matter what. This is my division now, it has been since I returned to EBWF last year. Like I said last Warfare, I came back to test how much stronger I'd become and ended up being disappointed by the state of women's wrestling here. Every last woman in this locker room has gotten weak and pathetic, and so if falls to me to drag the entire division back up by any means necessary. I've been setting the standard for the past year, and now no one can question that the girl everyone left behind five years ago is the best in the world. To make this place better, to raise its level to an acceptable standard, I need to shatter every last piece of the old EBWF. I've already beaten everyone else, I've won back MY championship, and now I'm going to burn away the greatest record of Trish Stratus. I took this title from her before, and now I'm going to take the last thing she's got left: her legacy.
Tam laughs a little.
Tam: Does that make you angry Trish? I know that your legacy is the most important thing you've got. That's why you came back and asked for a shot at Tam, isn't it? Every day we get closer to 309, you must've gotten more and more nervous that someone was finally going to replace you at the top. So you came back and said that your legacy means that you ARE the line. I have to wonder if you're really ready to fight someone like me. Your mind seems to be entirely on Becky Lynch instead of Tam or the EBWF Women's Championship. She made one stupid little movie scene about you and now your entire life is dedicated to ensuring that she never becomes champion. Well news flash, Trish. Oedo Tai respects your contributions to the sport so much that we did you a solid. We ensured that Becky would be sidelined indefinitely so she can't possibly challenge me for this beautiful championship. In one night we did what you've dedicated your entire existence to! You're welcome.
She pats Jamie on the shoulder before continuing.
Tam: And when the bell rings tonight, I'm going to make that movie scene come to life. Because I am going to put Trish Stratus down in front of the entire world. By kicking her ass and exposing her as a dinosaur who should've gone extinct years ago, I'll finally force everyone to accept that I AM the Final Boss of EBWF. I AM the standard by which everyone else is measured, and the rest of women's wrestling has fallen far behind. And as long as that's the case, I'm not going to pretend to be humble about the fact that I'm the most dominant champion in EBWF history. I'm not going to smile and just wish for a good match while everyone else fails to pull their weight. I'm going to do whatever the hell I want - Oedo Tai is going to do whatever the hell WE want. We run this place.
She then stands up and holds her belt up.
Tam: If anyone has a problem with that, if you hate me..
She shoulders the belt and cocks her head to the side. With a cute sparkling smile she flips the bird to the camera.
Tam: Then get BETTER than me.