Première Touche

[NeoBiishikiGun]

The cameras open in a lightly decorated backstage area, appropriately set up for a sit down interview. The host of this segment, the lovely Renee Young, welcomes your watching eyes and open ears. Best not to squander this opportunity.

Renee Young: "Ladies and gentlemen, members of the EBWF Universe. I am Renee Young and today I am here to conduct a sit-down interview with a very special guest today."

The identity of the guest is not yet revealed as Renee takes a pause.

Renee Young: "I’ll be honest … this arrangement came to me as a complete surprise at first. It’s not very likely that my honored guest of the evening … agrees to speak to the public on terms that are not a hundred percent hers. But as they say, it’s not too good to look at a gift horse in the mouth."

Renee jokes around and gets a soft chuckle as a reply, though it is clear that the chuckle is out of politeness instead of a sense of shared humor.

Renee Young: "Without further ado, my guest today is none other than our current EBWF Women’s Champion and the leader of NEO Biishiki-Gun. Sakisama is here with us."

The camera finally shows Sakisama in her usual outfit, the black and white ansamble capped off with the big fancy hat that she wears in her entrances. She gives the camera a polite smirk while adjusting the belt in her lap.

Sakisama: "Thank you for the lovely introduction, Renee. Like the choice of dress … but maybe you should tell your make-up artist to go back to college."

The camera is once again on Renee, who has a nice red dress on to contrast with Sakisama’s shades of black and white. The assessment of the make-up itself is left to your subjective opinion, but it is clear that Sakisama is not a fan.

Renee Young: "Thank you! Sakisama, first of all, I am very excited to do this sit-down interview with you-"

Sakisama: "Of course you would be, dear. I totally understand your excitement. Now, I’m sure you have many, many questions but maybe I should make one thing clear first. You said that this whole arrangement is not a hundred percent on my terms. Well, I just happen to disagree. I was offered this special occasion and I simply agreed because I wanted to, because I knew what would entail. "

A cruel smirk appears on her lips.

Sakisama: "Or perhaps, are you planning to surprise me today?"

Renee seems taken aback by this for a moment before collecting herself.

Renee Young: "N-no, uhm, I meant … well … whenever you usually address the EBWF Universe … you do it on your own channels …"

The chuckle is now genuine.

Sakisama: "Oh Renee, I get what you mean, darling. Don’t sweat it. Keep it cool. Don’t let your embarrassment ruin your moment. After all, you are in the presence of a Goddess."

Renee just nods before moving on.

Sakisama: "Well, of course, you can say that … using EBWF’s proper authorized personnel to interview me like this … it’s a first. But there is a first time for everything and well, you are one of the least awful choices for me to sit and have a nice lovely chat with … so, I don’t think you are unhappy with this now, are you?"

Renee Young: "No, not at all."

Sakisama: "Delightful. Now, this was offered to me by the higher-ups in their big leather chairs that just can’t get enough of my presence. It’s not a secret that the EBWF management, dear Mr. Ikeda especially, is feeling a little under the weather lately. With Ms. Stratus hauling her fossilized buttocks out of the building after getting her feelings hurt before Iron Survivor or the whole unsightly affair with the Rated RKO boys … well, someone has to come out and tell everyone that ‘it’s okay’ and ‘I got you’. As your women’s champion, well, EBWF’s biggest and most important champion, I am here to tell you exactly that: Everything is okay, my lovelies. I am here. Bask in my brilliance, bask in my sun, you are safe, you are loved, your Mademoiselle has got you."

Sakisama kisses the tips of her gloved index and middle fingers before holding them against the camera, directly addressing the audience.

Renee Young: "I’m sure our audience feels … safer already. Now, this is the first time we’re seeing you after you successfully defended your title against Mai-"

Sakisama: "Renee, please. You got me in an opportunity like this and you want to waste it by talking about Maika Style? Quite frankly, I am done speaking about her. I beat her twice in a decisive manner in different situations. All the discussions to be had about that failure are over, at least in my perspective."

Renee raises an eyebrow before letting the issue go.

Renee Young: "If you so wish… well, as you know, the Iron Survivor match for women housed some pretty interesting moments, like returns, debuts and the victory of one Becky Lynch. Do you have any comments on how this might shake-up the women’s division here in EBWF?"

Sakisama seems to think for a moment before adjusting her position on the couch to be more straight.

Sakisama: "A lot to take away for you or the others, for sure. You can talk among yourselves and speculate about what this person or that person might do Renee. But for me, there is no shake-up. This is my division and it is my duty to keep it stable. The previous heads might have built a foundation on their own but as I saw it, it was a very shaky and unstable foundation so I toppled it and replaced it with mine. Now, I am the roots and the stump and the leaves and the flowers of this tree. This ecosystem belongs to me and not a single leaf will shake without my knowledge and permission, I can tell you that much."

Renee Young: "That’s … pretty confident, even from you, Sakisama."

Sakisama gives a haughty laugh to this assessment.

Sakisama: "Suuuure, Renee, let’s play it your way. New faces come, old faces return, new challengers appear and yadda and yadda and yadda. This is just nature working on its own. The circle of life, if you will. But at the end of the day, no matter what predators or prey prowl around the place … Mother Nature still says the final word. After everything else is said and thone, Mother Nature will remain. The only attempts to fight it will leave a trail of destruction on the behalf of the offenders. Renee, darling, Mother Nature is permanent. Gaea is permanent. I am … permanent."

After that big statement, she gives a single pause to check if Renee wants to get anything in. But the host doesn’t, so the guest continues to speak.

Sakisama: "Becky Lynch and the other matters … well, I will address them once it is an appropriate time. But for now, they can remain in the light of their achievements while I continue to light up this whole division like the sun I am."

Renee Young: "Understood."

Renee then proceeds to assume a more professional stance and a straight posture as she moves on.

Renee Young: "I’m not quite sure if I should bring this up after you seemed to disregard all the moving pieces, but since this relates to your very next competitive match, I suppose I might: In the next Warfare show, you will face Oedo Tai’s newest acquisition, a woman whose MO is being dominant and brutal: Rhea Ripley."

Sakisama feigns a fainting motion at this introduction before making another dismissive hand motion with her hands.

Sakisama: "I suppose the thing with Arnold didn’t go well for her."

She rolls her eyes after that.

Sakisama: "And now she cozies up to Tam Nakano of all people. I think it would say something when I mean that I’d rather trust my fellow Austrian-born than the washed-up mid-life crisis piece-of-idol-garbage, trust me. It is possible to go from literally-the-worst to somehow-even-worse. Thank you Rhea, this is a scientific achievement, your contributions will not be forgotten."

Renee Young: "If I may … this will also mark the first time NEO Biishiki-Gun and Oedo Tai will directly face each other on official terms. After you spent months talking about this war with Oedo Tai … do you think this occassion might have come a little too late for your liking?"

Now it is Sakisama’s turn to look a bit taken aback by this question.

Sakisama: "Renee … I know it is customary for people of your job to try and push the interviewee a bit around but this is a silly way to go about it, trust me. I declared war on Oedo Tai when they first banded together, as they were the faction that was supposed to turn the women’s division inside out and feast on the intestines like vultures. That kind of organization needed to be stopped immediately, no matter where, no matter when or no matter by who. I warned everyone of the dangers and in place, they framed me against Little Miss Bliss who took the bait like a dumb little doll and gave me the strongest punch she could ever muster in her entire life. That was their only act of aggression against NEO Biishiki-Gun because even from day one, they knew that they had no choice against me or Utami."

Sakisama reaches for the water bottle on the table next to her and takes a sip.

Sakisama: "Tam couldn’t come and face me, Hayter could do nothing but to breathe air and attack Becky Lynch every once and then. The less said about that upstart pirate, the better. At least she had half the mind to jump ship when realization hit. They, as a collective, lost to Rebellious Angels. So, in my book, they proved that they had zero chance that they could withstand a proper war with NEO Biishiki-Gun. And now I’m supposed to stand here and consider them a threat again just because they have Himeka on their side? You know, the trash I personally took out the first time I appeared here? Or am I supposed to fear the brute who was too dumb to be taught by the Terminator of all people? No, Renee, this has ceased to be a war a long time ago. I had won in an undisputed fashion when me and Utami took them out before Tam lost pretty decisively to my lovely Shining Star. As far as I know, the NEO Biishiki-Gun has the current women’s champion, my prodigy who kicked Tam in the head so hard that she is still scrubbing Tam’s ugly make-up from her shoes … and Utami."

She puts the water bottle down again as she leans forward in her chair, directly facing Renee with a sharp gaze and many more words.

Sakisama: "As opposed to us, what does Oedo Tai have? No belts, no champions, nothing, zero, nilch, nada. Maybe, if you try to be generous, they have an additional member to make up for quantity. In quality, they don’t come close. In Warfare, in this supposed ‘first contact’ between NEO Biishiki-Gun and Oedo Tai, I will put the fear of me into that barbarian’s heart so bad that she will tuck her tail between her legs and run away. When her Oedo Tai buddies try to stop her from running, Rhea will have to tear her way out of them. Brutality, pah! Weapon of the sub-par. She is strong but I am stronger. She is tall, but I am taller. Her skull is very thick, but I will kick a cavity in that dense head of hers all the same. I will bestow her koala-stenched ass a very elegant beat-down and look devilishly beautiful doing so."

Sakisama gives a very confident look and grin to the camera as they focus on her face again.

Sakisama: "This division is my garden, Renee. I will not allow Oedo Tai to once again make a mess by spreading like weeds. Now, do you have any more questions?"

After Renee shakes her head, Sakisama smiles and gets up from her seat.

Sakisama: "It’s been a pleasure, Renee. Don’t expect me to do it again soon, however."

Sakisama takes her leave and the camera shows Renee Young one last time before cutting away.

Renee Young: "Ladies and gentlemen, Sakisama."