CAT FIGHT CLUB
- I'm'a jack you up SO bad!
- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--*All was not well in the world of The Coalitions two female members. They were currently busy strangling one another in the middle of a hallway while making horrible noises the entire time. The Coalitions mastermind, Paul Heyman, could be seen rubbing at the corners of his eyes while pacing in the background.*
Paige: This isn't auto erotic asphyxiation! I'm trying to kill you! So don't get all snail trail on me!
*Heyman knew better than to get in between them but Todd Grisham tried to separate the two as they glared deeply and barred their fangs. Or they definitely would have if they possessed fangs.*
Todd Grisham: I really hate watching you two fight! You never tickle each other or have pillow fights or anything!
Maryse + Paige: [HORRIBLE EXPLETIVE] OFF, DIPSHIT!
*Heyman grabbed Grisham while he was recoiling from the harsh words thrown at him.*
Paul Heyman: Is this someone's idea of a sick joke? Why are they having a match against one another? Paige is supposed to be the number one contender to the Sky High Title! I want answers!
Todd Grisham: Management has been very impressed with Paige from what I understand! They upgraded her to a Women's Title shot!
*Paul let go of the interviewer and shoved him backwards. He ran both hands through his scalp and looked more than a little stressed.*
Paul Heyman: They argue and fight non-stop when they AREN'T facing one another! I know that bastard Ikeda had this planned from the beginning.
*Maryse and Paige were back to making horrible screeching noises at one another while trying to cut off their oxygen supplies. Heyman finally managed to get in between the two to separate them.*
Paul Heyman: Ladies, ladies! Enough! Don't you see what's happening here? They're trying to drive us apart. We are SO dominate that they want you to kill one another. But we won't let that happen, will we? I know EXACTLY what we need to do. You two need to have this match and show this entire company what a women's title match SHOULD look like. This is only going to make The Coalition stronger than ever. The winner at Destiny shakes the others hand and we continue on. Right?
*Maryse and Paige simply nodded tensely at one another.*
Paul Heyman: And I already have another brilliant idea. A debate. We'll put you both and separate rooms and you have a nice..civilized..debate. Alright?
Maryse + Paige: Fine.
*Heyman seemed pleased with himself for being able to quell this conflict. But any debate between these two was going to be anything but civilized.*
- Where's your Grandma at? She can get it too! - --UUUUUUCK YOOOOOU!*The screen was split up into three separate sections. Maryse was on the left side in a chic, swanky and luxuriously designed room. Todd Grisham was in the middle in normal, boring looking room that they stuffed normal, boring announcers in. And Paige was on the right in a gothic-tinged, purple and black designed surroundings, lightly petting the stuffed skele-cat resting on her lap.*
Todd Grisham: Sunday night is the pay per view event known as Destiny. Maryse will be defending her Women's Title against her partner and fellow Coalition member, Paige. These two have completely dominated the Diva's division but on September 3oth, they will have to face off against one another. Thank you both for joining me.
Maryse: Sup bitches.
*The blond leaned back in her chair. Paige said nothing and remained seated on her jack 'o lantern styled loveseat.*
Todd Grisham: My first question is for you, Maryse. You have defeated former champion A.J. Lee and even current Sky High Champion Maria. You know Paige very well. Do you feel you have the advantage in this match?
Maryse: Uh, hell yeah, I've got the advantage in this match. I'm not losing to that little emo dumb ass.
*It stayed civilized for all of thirty seconds.*
Todd Grisham: Paige. Your rebuttal?
Paige: WHOREOPOLIS. That is is your new name.
Maryse: Do you want some of this?!
Paige: Herpes or chlamydia?!
*Todd hadn't expected things to spiral out of control this quickly but..yep. They had.*
Maryse: [HORRIBLE EXPLETIVE] YOU WITH A SHOVEL!
Paige: You keep talking but all I hear is syphilis!
*The two were now on their feet with their faces almost pressed against the camera's lens' that were filming them.*
Paige: Do you know that idiotic muscle head you keep on the back burner? By the way, I diddled him. I diddled him real hard. And he said I was the best [HORRIBLE EXPLETIVE] he had ever had. Way better than you.
Maryse: Well, I [HORRIBLE EXPLETIVE] that little masochist freak you like so much! He was tiny AND awful so heads up, buttercup!
Todd Grisham: S-So the match..
Maryse: Keep your mouth off my things!
Paige: That's fine because I'm going to have my hands all over your title after I kick your ass!
*Maryse stood up from her chair and began to walk back and forth, in and out of the camera's vision, holding up a middle finger.*
Paige: Oh, that's so mature.
*The blond had ducked under the camera's line of sight and slowly rose up while still flipping Paige the bird.*
Paige: Do you see what I have to work with? I AM GOING TO MASSACRE YOU, YOU SELFISH SKANK!
*The pale skinned young wrestler took a hold of the camera and threw it the floor which caused her screen to be filled with static. Not wanting to be one-upped, Maryse did the same thing. Todd was left with two screens of crackling static on either side of him.*
Todd Grisham: ..Maryse vs Paige..don't miss it?