Todd Grisham: Are you going to win your match against Kelly Kelly, Maryse?
Maryse: Yes. I am going to win.
~Maryse walked off and she knew she was going to win her match with Kelly Kelly.~
AHHH!
~A scream in the middle of night came from the fancy hotel suite shared by Maryse and Paige. The French Canadian sat up in her bed with wide eyes and beads of sweat coming from her forehead. Her blond hair was a bit messy and she was dressed in a white, silk robe, slightly open to reveal a comfy looking gray sports bra underneath.~
Paige: What is your deal?
~Paige had risen up from her bed as well and looked to be only half awake. Her sleeping attire was long, lavender and purple striped pajamas. A sleeping cap with a little skull design in the middle rested on her head.~
Maryse: I..had a nightmare.
Paige: About what?
Maryse: I flimed..a Kelly Kelly promo!
Paige: The only way that will ever happen is if you have a lobotomy. Go back to bed.
~Paige rolled back over and covered her entire frame with her blanket. Maryse sighed in relief and eased back under her covers. Hopefully she would be able to get through the night without any more horrible, traumatizing visions.~
Today's promo..!!
THE KELLY KELLY SPECIAL
-Ew. Who would want a Kelly Kelly special?
-People who like having sex with soulless robots?~Maryse eventually summoned enough courage to carry out her day. After that ordeal, the pair headed off to get inside the mind of their next nemesis. They strolled their way up to a boarding school that was surrounded by a fancy court yard. Maryse was dressed in a short sleeved, white dress shirt, with a loose fitting green tie around her neck and a plaid mini skirt. Paige was clad in a black blazer, white dress shirt underneath, blue tie, and a plaid mini skirt with a pair of blue and black stockings underneath. The skele-cat she carried was wearing a similar uniform. The sun was out. Birds were chirping. The lone female Coalition members discussed a few very important topics.~
Maryse: Is her name seriously Barbie? Like that outdated fetish doll with a zillion lame ass occupations?
Paige: Is it. Twice as much plastic.
Maryse: Ugh. Seriously? What do I have to do to get some REAL competition? I want Alberto Del Rio money. I'm never going to make it if I keep having to wrestle the Kelly Kelly's of the world. Can't that homely fat ass Velvet Sky quit her job as a professional tweeter or something?
Paige: She's too busy doing photo shoots that no one will ever care about.
Maryse: Just..ugh. Kelly Kelly. Like I'm going to lose to someone who's signature move is shoving her ass in someone's face. I'll shove my ass in HER face!
Paige: Typical Friday night for you? Why are we here again?
Maryse: Because the kind of people in the world who could possibly like Kelly Kelly would have to be high school boys.
Paige: Won't we get recognized?
Maryse: No. Because we have these. We're completely incognito.
~Maryse slipped on a pair of dark sunglasses and then handed Paige a match pair.~
Paige: ..Brilliant.
~As the duo walked up the stone steps of the school a few young men in typical boarding school uniforms stared at them in awe.~
Student: Are you two movie celebrities?
Maryse: No you dick.
Paige: You do know what incognito means, right? It's the opposite of that.
Maryse: Whatever. Hey. Assholes.
~Maryse un-rolled a large poster that featured Kelly Kelly dressed in a bikini~
Maryse: Do you know who this is?
Student: Oh wow! That's Kelly Kelly! She's such a hottie!
Maryse: WRONG. This is Barbie Blank!
~The women's champion had to pause to snicker under her breath~
Maryse: I can't believe that bitch is actually named that. It's like life already had it pre-determined that she was going to be a useless bimbo.
~She her attention back to the trio of young men.~
Maryse: Anyway, if you like her you are dumber than she is.
~Maryse pushed her way through and into the school with Paige following along. She began to speak and her voice was dripping with sarcasm.~
Paige: That was an incredibly insightful look into the mind of your opponent.
Maryse: I know, right? Alright split up. Pick a class. We need to do some more research.
Paige: I really don't think anyone is going to mistake us for high school students..
Maryse: Paige. Sunglasses. God damn do you ever listen when I talk?
~The two went their separate ways with Paige shaking her head the entire time~
- What is smarter? Kelly Kelly or mayonnaise? Mayonnaise has an IQ of 1, and Kelly Kelly has no discernible IQ! ~Paige had randomly picked gym class. She was a wrestler so it seemed like a perfect fit. The gothic Brit stood in a white t-shirt and gym shorts while keeping her all concealing dark sunglasses on. She held two batons in her hands that she was supposed to be twirling but she simply stared at them in a blank manner. A rather butch, tall and stereotypical female gym teacher approached her~
Gym Teacher: What do we have here? You goth kids thing you're too good for gym?! Get your ass in gear, missy!
~Paige turned that blank stare upwards and said nothing. She unfurled a second Kelly Kelly poster, this time one of her in her ring gear.~
Paige: What do you think of this?
Gym Teacher: Hm..
~The Gym Teacher scratched her chin with a lecherous sort of look~
Gym Teacher: That is a mighty fine woman.
Paige: Oh. Yay. GLAAD is going to have a field day with this.
~Paige struck the woman in the knee with her baton after a few moments of awkward silence. The students gathered around as she clutched the offending appendage~
Paige: There. I'm being a star and standing up to stereotypes.
~The young diva inched her way out of the gymnasium.~
-Kelly Kelly is a dumb whore. ..What? I couldn't think of anything witty this time! ~Maryse had decided to attend Science Class. She was now wearing a white lab coat and getting plenty of stares since obviously no girl in the class looked like her.~
Maryse: I make such a sexy scientist. Boner.
~The blond poked at a few beakers in other science related things surrounding her before raising her hand during the teachers lecture. He lowered his glasses and squinted since he had never seen her in the class before. He thought she looked older than a normal student but those black sunglasses seemed to muddle his vision.~
Teacher: Yes young lady?
Maryse: What is, like, the theorem for Maryse kicking the SHIT out of Kelly Kelly live on pay per view at Fanniversary in defense of her Women's Title this Sunday night?
Teacher: I..what? What does this have to do with the lecture? And that kind of language is not permitted in this class room.
Maryse: Old douche bag! It is has everything to do with the lecture! I'm making a hypothesis or something about this match! Jesus Christ! How dumb are you?! Answer the question!
~The teacher had pressed a button on his desk to call for security to escort the student from the room. Enter a beefy security guard.~
Maryse: Whoa. Hello there. I brought tons of drugs into the school so you should pat me down RIGHT NOW.
Teacher: What kind of teenager behaves like this?! I'm calling your parents!
Maryse: Cock face! I'm not a teenager!
~Maryse whipped off her sunglasses and the class room gasped in unison upon the revelation that she was actually an adult. A quick cut revealed Maryse and Paige standing some distance away, still in their Science and Gym class clothes, respectively.~
Paige: Banned from a boarding school that we don't even attend. Lovely. Well, this was a massive waste of time. Did you learn anything about Kelly Kelly?
Maryse: No. The school systems in America are obviously horrible. Which probably why we have people like Kelly Kelly in the first place.
~The champ gasped~
Maryse: That's it! I've discovered how pitiful American schooling is! A victory for me is a victory for Canadian and British education! We have a lot riding on this.
Paige: ..Really stretching there.
Maryse: Eh. You're right. Who cares about that bullshit? Let's phone Paul and tell him to arrange and after party! I want drunken pony rides and ice cream!
~With that goal in mind, the scene ended.~