off to the slaughterhouse

[Daniel Bryan]

The shot opens with a dead cow hanging above a tin bucket filled to the brim with it's blood. As the camera pans across the room hundreds of the same thing are seen. Suddenly, Daniel Bryan walks into view once again wearing his dark red 'Everybody Taps' t-shirt. The now infamous smirk is pasted across his face that's barley seen in the low light of the room. He looks around disgusted then looks back towards the camera with the same face. He rubs his hand through his dirty blonde scraggly beard and begins speaking.

Daniel Bryan: So your all probably wondering why I didnt show up last week. Alot of people said it was because I was scared. Some people even said I was leaving for good. None of that is true, and i'll tell you what really happened. I had just gotten off my flight to prepare for the biggest match i've had in EBWF, a chance at the breakout title. I noticed my stomach felt off, I started to get sick. I ran to my room and puked up my guts for two hours. Later I figured it all out. Someone, somehow... must have slipped meat into one of my meals. Maybe the garden burger, maybe it was the vegan pasta platter? I'll never know but that's why I couldn't compete and thats what lead me here. Im standing inside of the local Detroit, Michigan slaughter farm a couple miles from the Joe Louis Arena. These cows that are cut down the stomach and hung upside down like dirty laundry were once living beings. They have a mom and a father somewhere just like all of you at home and even Bobby Roode. I hear Bobby eats meat but let's not get into that right now. These animals will be turned into food for the mass and all you selfish people will pay top dollar for it and eat it up. Thats fine because there's nothing I can do to stop that.

Daniel Bryan walks a little further towards the back of the dark room. He looks around even more disgusted and holds his mouth like he wants to vomit. He doesn't but looks back towards the camera and continues his rant.

Daniel Bryan: Now that im 100% and I can compete, I am back for good to finish what I started. The EBWF puts me in a match against Bobby Roode. Bobby Roode might drink alot of beer, Bobby Roode might eat alot of meat, Bobby Roode might be one tough son of a bitch. He can put all the grease he wants in that long hair and he can puff up his chest and act like a bad man all he wants. The fact of the matter is EVERYBODY TAPS. I've said it before and i'll say it again. No man is to big and no man is to talented to outwit or outsmart my perfect wrestling skills. Im not lost in my ego because if I was lost, I wouldnt be able to find my way out. These animals had to chance to fight back. It was there demise to be fed to the mass so the world can feed it's families with good dinners. Well Bobby your kind of like these poor cows, except you have all the chance in the world to fight back. I will get revenge for every innocent animal that's ever been harmed this monday. I will rip off your limbs before you can even say "referee I quit"!

Daniel Bryan walks through the dead cows hanging like it's a maze. Somehow, in a sick way it's almost like he's enjoying himself. He doesn't seem as grossed out now that Bobby Roode's in the picture. He smiles and finishes his speech.

Daniel Bryan: Bobby infront of the whole world I will hang you out to dry and beat you in the middle of the ring. I am a pure wrestling machine sent to EBWF to win the championship and head straight the the top like I always have my whole carrer. I am in EBWF to fight for the poor animals being slaughtered in farms like this everywhere. Last but not least im here in EBWF to send a message to the wrestling world. That message states "I AM DANIEL BRYAN, I AM THE GREATEST HUMAN BEING TO EVER WALK THE EARTH". I wake up every day feeling good about myself because I am a role model. Bobby, your far from a role model. You are the complete opposite and this monday I will make you tap out. Prepare all you want but i'll be leaving screaming "YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES"!

Daniel Bryan runs through all the slaughtered meat to the door and out the building yelling "YES" and throwing his fingers towards the sky in perfect rhythm. The door shuts and Daniel's still heard yelling "YES" down the hallway. The echoes turn to silence and the scene fades to black.