Crazy vs Not-Crazy-At-All

[Chloe]

"Whatta whack job! Whatta nut case! She's loco in the coco!"

These were often things that were said to or about A.J. Lee. So it must have struck the viewing audience as very strange when she herself was actually using these terms to describe someone else. It wasn't clear just who she was speaking to and it didn't appear that she was having banter with herself. The pint-sized Diva was unpacking her luggage while sitting in the middle of her hotel room. It looked as though she were unfolding something but the camera didn't make it exactly clear exactly what it was.

A.J. Lee: That Mickie James girl. Geez! I mean really. Who gets that worked up over a guy like that?! She seriously needs some self control. And talking to and stabbing voodoo dolls? That's just..cuh..cuuuhh..

A.J.'s face began to contort.

A.J. Lee: ..that's just..craaaaay...cuhhhhh..

She even twitched a little as she seemed to have a real difficulty with saying the "c-word".

A.J. Lee: ..that's just weird. And keeping jars of hair and finger nails?! Psychooooo. I made five copies of key's to Trent's house but that's only if I ever really need to see him. And I only broke in that one time so I could go into his closet and smell his skin. Pretty sure that's what every couple does.

The object A.J. was unfolding now stood over her. It was a rather strange cardboard cut out. It was a towering display of Shaquille O'Neal dressed as the rapping genie Kazaam from the cinematic masterpiece of the same name. A.J. sighed happily, folding her hands together in her lap while turning her big brown eyes up at the lyrical, wish granting, seven foot tall black man.

A.J. Lee: You think I can beat her. Don't you, Kazaam? You think I can beat that skitzo and become Queen of the Ring?

The cut-out just continued to flash it's award winning smile while it stood silently with it's arms folded. A.J. stood up to press a small button located on it's back and it spoke in a worn out, scrambled, digitized voice.

Kazaam: Who dare to wake me? Ain't gonna name this a mystery. Don't wanna do time on your wishes three. Watch it, boy! You don't want to dis me! Or I'll dish out my misery. Now. who's that sorry wanna-be that disturbed my z's? If you wanna be number one, I'm sorry boy, that's been done! But if you got the itches for a sack of riches don't matter how avaricious, I'm the man that can grant your wishes! Hey, don't turn your butt on me! I'm the man of the ages, straight out of the pages. Hang on! I'm contagious, outrageous, spontaneous! You can't contain this. I am KAZAAM!

A.J. placed her hands over her heart and could barely contain her happiness.

A.J. Lee: You always know the right things to say.

Kazaam: Let's green egg and ham it!

A.J Lee: I'd love to! But I can't I have such a huge match to prepare for that I really need to get some shut, alright? And you should do the same as well.

A.J. sprung from the floor and slipped right into her bed. After the lamp setting on the hotel dresser was flicked off she curled up underneath of her covers. There was a long few moments of silence before she sat up like a member of the walking dead and turned the lamp back on.

A.J. Lee: I can't sleep. I just can't. I'm too anxious about this whole tournament. I need..I need..

Something caught the corner of her eye. It was a doughnut shop right across the street with a big, radiating, glowing sign.

A.J. Lee: I need that.

A hoodie, one half black and the other red, was tossed over her small frame and off she went skipping towards her destination. It was the dead of night and with her hood over her head, she assumed that no one would notice her. But A.J. had also neglected to realize that this was also the hour when sketchy, no-good types were on the prowl. Or perhaps she did understand that but just really wanted a doughnut. In any event, a man stepped out in front of her skipping path. A little on the shrimpy side with facial scuff and bags under his eyes. Still not someone you wanted to bump into in an alley if you were a female.

Stranger: Give me your money, kid.

Since her face was hidden it was easily to mistake her for a child. A.J.'s skipping stop and since their was a shadow over her face it was impossible to judge her reaction.

A.J. Lee: Helloooo rapist-criminal-thief-type-person! I don't want to be in a bad mood today! I want to be HAPPY!

Most people didn't sound this chipper or sunny when put into this position but A.J. wasn't most people.

A.J. Lee: ...So could you get out of the way?

Stranger: Did you hear me? I said--

The man reached his hand towards A.J.'s shoulder and she almost instantly coiled and wrapped her body around him. She had locked in her painful "Black Widow" submission and since there wasn't a referee around she even began to bite down on his fingers like a feral animal. The man shouted from complete and utter shock at the circumstance he had found himself in. A.J. finally unraveled herself and, very literally, kicked the man in the ass for good measure as he drug himself away. A growl could be heard coming from her chest as her hands her formed into tight fists. Slowly she turned to look up at the large, neon sign above her.

A.J. Lee: Oh. Doughnuts.

Skip, skip, skip. In she went into the brightly lit establishment that mostly deserted other than a male clerk behind the counter and whomever was working in the back. Due to her diminutive height, the attendant wasn't able to see A.J. until her hood covered head popped up over the counter.

A.J. Lee: HELLO!

The clerk stumbled backwards in an understandable display of surprise.

A.J. Lee: I REALLY need about a dozen doughnuts! Mixed! I've got a wrestling match against a complete CRAZY person and I need something packed with sugar so I can stay up all night and think of ways to hurt them! ...Okie dokie?

What could you possibly say to someone who had such a strange request at such a late hour. After giving a quick nod the man retrieved A.J.'s box of doughnuts. She slid her cash across the counter and happily bounced over to a table to sit alone and merrily devour her treats. But after a few bites she had the desire to express her desire to harm Mickie James to someone. No interviewers were out at this hour even though they seemed to pop up in just about any other place. So she placed her smart phone on the table, set it to speaker, and made a phone call. A.J. batted her eyes with her hands resting on her cheeks and eagerly awaited the other side to answer. A very groggy voice picked up.

Kaitlyn: ...U-Uh...A.J.? It's...really late. Are you alright? Is everything--

A.J. Lee: HI KAITLYN!

A.J. shrieked out in an absurdly happy pitch.

A.J. Lee: I would offer you a doughnut but you aren't here! Ha ha!

Kaitlyn: ...I don't even...HUH?

Trying to remain A.J.'s friend was very tasking at times for poor Kaitlyn. Most people definitely would have given up on her by now but Kaitlyn appeared to be loyal to a fault.

A.J. Lee: I have a match against Mickie James! She is SUCH a sociopath, you know? Can you IMAGINE having to hang out with someone like her?

Kaitlyn: ...No, I can't imagine that at all. Wait. Are you cutting a promo right now? Is there a camera on you?

A.J. Lee: ...Maaaaaybe.

Kaitlyn sighed in a very drowsy manner.

Kaitlyn: ...You can't tell me you couldn't have found an interviewer. I know Matt Striker is roaming around with a suit and microphone for no apparent reason.

A.J. Lee: Couldn't find one! So I need you to be a pal and ask me some questions about Mickie! Pleeeeeeeease.

Kaitlyn: ...Ugh...I don't...really know much about her? She was dating The Miz at one point or something?

A.J. Lee: Yeah! And now she's a NUT that makes doll's out of his hair and keeps his toe nail clippings! Bonkers! Whacko!

Kaitlyn: Yeah that does sound pretty cra--

Kaitlyn paused as if she could actually feel A.J.'s eyes glaring darkly at her phone which she was actually doing.

Kaitlyn: ...that does sound pretty out there. Um...watch out? She's probably pretty angry and stuff. I think she might have actually bit Layla last week.

A.J. Lee: Who bites another human being?! Honestly!

A.J. paused for a moment to pick at her teeth to check for any traces of flesh from the guy she bit earlier.

Kaitlyn: Still she looks very dangerous to me.

A.J. Lee: I don't think she looks dangerous. I think she looks like a scary, bug eyed wanna be country musician who woke up on the wrong side of her trailer park. Maybe if I had ever slept with The Miz I would be shaking in my booties but since I'm ATTACHED TO MY ONE AND ONLY FOREVER, I'm not so spooked. Although she definitely is about a ten on the creepy factor. Doesn't matter! When I slap The Black Widow on her she's gonna tap and have some more time to plan eating Miz's future babies and she can forget aaaaall about being Queen of the Ring.

Kaitlyn: Good. I hope you win, A.J. I really do.

A.J. smiled brightly at her friends words of encouragement.

Kaitlyn: ...But I saw your promo last week. You said something about wanting me to go do bath salts and have sex with a tree? That's pretty messed up--

A.J. Lee: Nope! Don't remember! Gotta go, Kaitlyn!

A.J.'s phone met it's untimely demise as she threw it straight out of a nearby window and shattered some glass. A completely reckless action from a completely reckless person. The clerk was still too astonished to voice any complaints. A.J. flashed him a smile before skipping off with her box of doughnuts in tow.

[Ashlee]

Chloe, I'm always so disappointed when your RPs are over. lol
Thank you! :)
When she bit the guy, and then later checked her teeth I was laughing :D

I was thinking of you so much during the AJ/Stephanie promo on Raw. It's magical.

[Ben M]

I lost count of how many times I smiled during this RP :)

[Holly]

I find myself always settling in to read your RPs. As in "I got me something good to eat, drink, in my comfy pj's, and good A.J. Lee reading material so don't bother me or else I'll "bite you" kinda settling in. Thank you for this! Always love reading this character!

[Chloe]

Awww. Thanks errrrraaabody.