Will You Do The Fandango?

[Jack]

There was a sense of dread filling Lilian Garcia. She had been chosen to interview Fandango. Again. She had began to think that maybe it was some kind of cruel joke since was about a step away from being a sexual predator. But he didn't like to be interviewed by men and there weren't many other options available. The interviewer took a deep breath and slowly inched the door to Fandango's locker room open.

| Fandango | ..Lilian..I was wondering when you would join us..

| Lilian Garcia | ..Oh my god.

Her worst fears were instantly confirmed. Fandango was laying in bed with velvet colored blankets and it didn't look as though he had any clothes on. Joining him on the mattress were a few of his attractive dancer girls. They didn't look like they had any clothes on either.

| Fandango | Join us.

Fandango lifted a few fingers and motioned for Lilian while a few hands grazed along his chest.

| Lilian Garcia | I'm..supposed to interview you.

| Fandango | I can't hear you. You're going to have to come..closer.

Lilian inched in only a few steps closer to the..activity.

| Lilian Garcia | Uh. Um. Officials were impressed by your match with John Cena a few weeks ago..

| Fandango | Love.

| Lilian Garcia | ..And..as such..you've been granted an opportunity at the PTG Title..

| Fandango | Passion.

| Lilian Garcia | ..A-Against champion Damien Sandow and another challenger in Chris Sabin.

| Fandango | Desire.

With the camera towards his back, Fandango tossed off his blanket and rose upwards.

| Fandango | I want to taste you like yogurt.

..And then the interview ended. Lilian rushed from the room, shouting to anyone who would listen that she couldn't work under these types of conditions. She was replaced by The Coach who Fandango found to be a most unsuitable replacement. He wasn't nude. Or, at least, anymore. He was now dressed in a velvet colored robe, made from the same material as the blanket he had been under. His dancer girls were all clad in varied colored lingerie. The dancer gave a deep glare towards Coach as he began to try his introduction.

| The Coach | Joining with me now is a man who has the opportunity to become the PTG Champion. His name is..

Coach was well aware that he would not be able to pronounce the grappler's name to his liking and as such, he nodded to him to finish the sentence. Fandango was in no mood and made a dramatic hand gesture to push the issue along.

| Fandango | Does Chris Sabin have a valet?

| The Coach | Well..no.

It was obvious by the look upon his face that this was not the answer that Fandango wanted to hear.

| Fandango | Does Damien Sandow have a valet?

| The Coach | ..No?

| Fandango | WHAT IS ALL THIS FOR?!

He erupted in threw a vase across the room which shattered into pieces. One of his scantly clad FandanGirls rose from the bed and clung onto him. He began to rub his fingers deeply into the corners of his eyes.

| Fandango | Count my abs.

The dancer did as she was instructed and Fandango took a deep cleansing breath to try and calm himself.

| The Coach | You do understand that this is--

| Fandango | Rub more baby oil on me.

Another dancer smeared some of the gooey substance into her palms and began to massage Fandango's back until it glistened into a nice shine. This seemed to improve his mood. Slightly.

| The Coach | ..this is a pretty big deal for anyone on the roster to receive a chance at title.

| Fandango | Chris Sabin doesn't have a valet. Damien Sandow doesn't have a valet. Neither one of them possess any style. Sabin's hair is unreasonably greasy and distasteful and Sandow's beard makes me nauseous.

He dusted his hands off. Even bringing up such disgusting traits made him feel unclean.

| Fandango | I don't want to touch them and I don't want them to touch me. I only enjoy the delicate touch..

Fandango gave his crotch a thrust towards one of the women on the bed who collapsed and fell backwards with her hands folded over her heart. The look on her face was one of pure, orgasmic joy.

| Fandango | ..of women.

| The Coach | Excuse me for asking but, if that's the case, why are you here?

| Fandango | Have I not made this perfectly clear? To wrestle women. To ultimately bestow upon them the art of dance which only I can perfectly teach them. To take them away from here. I could be facing off against A.J. or Paige right now. Why has fate decided to be so cruel to me?

| The Coach | I..don't think your vision is ever going to come to fruition.

| Fandango | Why is that? Because I'm too much of a man for these..superstars? Have you seen what I've done to likes of Drew Mcintyre and Zack Ryder? I would wager a guess that John Cena will never want to face me again after out last encounter. I nearly defeated a former World Champion and now I'm being forced to compete against scum like Sabin and Sandow? My shoulders are barely able to contain such disappointment.

| Dancer #1 | Fandango! You are too gorgeous for these men!

| Dancer #2 | Please don't disgrace yourself by allowing their filthy hands to touch you!

| Fandango | Ladies..there isn't a need to fret..there is plenty of FAAAAAHH..DAAAAAAHN..GOOOOOOO to go around.

Both women were held securely to his chest while he pensively gazed into the distance.

| The Coach | ..Right..well..uh..you have faced Chris Sabin before..

| Fandango | As I stated he has no valet. As such, my only interest was to get out of the ring with him before his vile musk spread onto me. With his bad knee I have no doubt in my mind that this man is incapable of dancing. If he attempted to it would be incredibly laughable. Ah ha ha!

The dancers laughed in unison in the exact same manner.

| Fandango | And Sandow? I've seen him perform a cartwheel. Barely. With all of the grace of a three legged giraffe. If he does know any dance moves I'm sure they're from the 1800's.

A sigh deep within his well oil chest passed his lips.

| Fandango | I'll probably just allow these brutes to tear one another apart while I entertain the masses with my dancing outside of the ring. I do have one request from the audience. I would appreciate if they actually learned to dance if they attempt to hum along with my theme music. And also not be so fat. And ugly. And male.

| The Coach | I don't really--

| Fandango | Go away, Coach. The ladies and I must prepare to dazzle the eyes of our viewing audience.

Coach was not going to argue since talking to Fandango was like chewing on sand paper. He took his leave while the proficient dancer began to go over a few steps with the ladies in exhausting detail.