Day Late Ryan Clark Notes

[Nick]

Day Late Ryan Clark Notes
By Ryan Clark on Sat, September 28th, 2013

Oh no! I forgot to do my Friday recap of bullshit I made up because I gave myself a Roofie, but even I didn't want me, so I left myself in a shady motel - and by that I mean it was because I was super busy spying on rassling, and meeting in dark alley ways with my EXCLUSIVE insider sources. So without further ado, here's this week's lies, er, uh, I mean totally legitimate scoops.

Ummmmm, ok, so EBWF is probably going to be experiencing massive roster cuts soon? Why? Um, I don't know - because the economy is like a bubble or something, and they need more gum to blow a bigger bubble or whatever - fuck you - you don't understand the economy any better than me! What was I talking about? Oh yeah, roster cuts. Most likely to get the boot is CM Punk, because he refused to split the bar tab the last time everyone went out drinking...oh wait he's straight edge...than...let's say it's because EBWF is pro Coca Cola or whatever. Yeah why not.

A lot of people were surprised to see Carlito sign with EBWF because Vince McMahon had made a very strong offer to sign him. No word on the exact figures, but I can EXCLUSIVELY report he was offered a lifetime supply of apples and potential spokesperson gig for Mac computers. Get it? Mac/Apple...yeah I'm awesome.

For the upcoming 500th Episode of Warfare there is going to be several surprise guests. Right now rumors are it's going to be Braden Walker, and possibly even Mr. Fuji - no word yet on if George Hackenschmidt will be able to attend. But my insider sources say that in order to win over nostalgic crowds, he might get a run with one of the belts if he does show. STAY TUNED!

EBWF continues to push their involvement with Make A Wish. The reason is obvious. They are going to debut a genie gimmick. Which I think it WAYYY overdue. My friends on the inside, they say it's going to be less Shaq genie and more Robin Williams genie. I personally was hoping for a Shaq genie, in a I Dream of Jeannie outfit...but that's just cause I think Shaq has the hips for the pink pants. Oh well, I still have my photoshops.

Anyway, these are all 100% true and are going to happen...unless they don't...in which case plans changed or fuck you, you don't own a wrestling website, so you can't talk about it. I'm Ryan Clark and I approve this message.

I'm too lazy to come up with an enticing link, so; BOOBS! PICS! Click here!