Return of the one man revolution?

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Benjamin
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Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2013 8:01 pm
Location: Tampa, FL
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Return of the one man revolution?

Post by Benjamin »

OOC: I miss Alex. I hope to be with you all again more permanently before too long. My computer is still fucked and the guy who was supposed to build me a new one is pretty busy. I do have a laptop (which I wrote this on) but it randomly dies so I am uncomfortable rping on it, plus it is constantly attached to my fiance's hip whenever she is home. I miss you all.

**The scene opened backstage as EBWF interviewer Renee Young stood by with former EBWF world heavyweight champion Alex Shelley. Alex stood there in blue jeans and a black EBWF shirt combing his hands through his shoulder length black hair with blonde highlights as the camera began to roll.**

Renee Young: Ladies and gentlemen I am standing by with a former EBWF champion, a man that was once referred to as "the new face of the EBWF", a man that EBWF legend Triple H once dubbed "the one man revolution", and a man that will be in attendance this Sunday for the EBWF's Royal Rumble pay per view, Alex "motherhmmhmm" Shelley! Alex how are you today?

Alex Shelley: I'm so over that.

Renee Young: I'm sorry, over what?

Alex Shelley: The whole "Alex motherfucking Shelley" thing, it is so 2006. Don't get me wrong, I love the word fuck. I just don't feel like I need to say it to sell t-shirts. They may confuse me with someone else.

Renee Young: Alright, fair enough. So what brings you back here to the EBWF?

Alex Shelley: I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that one out, it is a special time of year.

Renee Young: Again, fair enough...but what about all these rumors circulating the internet that you were just about ready to sign with another company?

Alex Shelley: Here's a surprise: They were a complete fabrication. These so-called "journalists" think they know everything, I am an EBWF guy to the core.

Renee Young: So what exactly has kept you out of the EBWF for so long?

Alex Shelley: The thing that has kept me out and may continue to keep me out in the future is my inability to blend into the background. I could have carried this company on my back for years but apparently not everyone felt that way upon my last exit. I guess there is a downside of your boss being one of your closest friends.

Renee Young: You do have many close friends within this company, you have also made some pretty bitter enemies. If you are indeed a part of the 30 man Royal Rumble match how do you feel about the prospect of facing off with former rivals like Randy Orton and Syxx?

Alex Shelley: Randy Orton? Yeah, I better not even start on that one. Just the sheer thought of his charisma and stunning technical prowess may lull both me and our thousands of viewers to sleep. Syxx? Ha, I heard that he is hurt and they are making his drag his sorry carcass to the ring just so they could have their 30. That is funny.

Renee Young: I'm sorry? How do you have access to such information? And what is funny about a man getting hurt?

Alex Shelley: I am sure you use the term "man" as loosely as possible. Don't you pay attention to the business side of things? I could know practically anything I want. It is funny because he is an old man and that's what old men do, they get hurt. Nothing to see here people, move along!

Renee Young: So I take it you may be a little upset over some of the things Syxx has said about you over the past six months or so despite you being out of action?

Alex Shelley: Oh you mean that one about Randy Orton just picking up the pieces of everything I wasn't man enough to handle? In fairness, Syxx has always been the yin to my yang. He couldn't exist without me. He has always just been jealous of the fact that I could get "over the hump" and he never could. He is also sore about the fact that I have dated multiple attractive women and he couldn't even hang on to Chyna. The fact that he has gotten so over since his return makes me wonder if the EBWF fans have been smoking as much crack as he has.

Renee Young: Jeez, tell me how you really feel.

Alex Shelley: You want to know how I really feel? How much time do we have? Your current EBWF champion, what's his name? Trent? He's underqualified to pick up my jock strap from the dry cleaner. Don't even get me started on John Cena, when that man is on my television I can't tell if I am watching wrestling or Barney the dinosaur. I've said my piece about Randy Orton already, it's just too bad that much like my ex-girlfriend, the EBWF fans had to settle for a significant downgrade in my stead. Otherwise we've got more Mike Jones', Tom Smiths, and Bill Nelsons than I could shake a stick at on this damn roster. NOBODY knows how to be a star, and I'm not talking about a bullshit PR stunt anti-bullying campaign.

Renee Young: Do I detect some lingering bitterness from your last run with this company?

Alex Shelley: No, really it's all water under the bridge. That all notwithstanding, I still know who the hell I am. I've got more charisma and ability in my post-coffee morning shit than the last 10 world champions combined. I told you I am an EBWF guy, and you may not know this but I have a role in this company and I will always be an EBWF guy in my heart. I'm not going to tell you if you're going to see me out there on Sunday or not but I will tell you that you're not going to see me after that until I am ready to carry this company on my back again. Will that be after the Royal Rumble? I guess we're going to find out.

Renee Young: Thank you, Alex, for your time.

**The scene fades**
Image
SYXX
2x EBWF Intercontinental Champion
1x EBWF Tag Team Champion
1x EBWF X-Division Champion
2X EBWF Light Heavyweight Champion
2007 EBWF Heel of the Year
2007 EBWF Light Heavyweight of the Year
2007 EBWF Stable of the Year (w/ nWo)