An EBWF logo was seen on a large backdrop. Renee Young stood in front of it with a microphone in hand. She smiled to the camera, and raised the microphone.
Renee Young: Ladies and gentleman, I am being joined now by the Longest Reigning Women’s Champion in EBWF history. The one and only, Trish Stratus.
Trish walked into the frame, and smiled over at Renee.
Trish Stratus: Thank you, Renee.
Renee Young: Trish, I just wanted to ask you about the Diva’s Royal Rumble. How do you feel about your chances tonight? You’ll be entering the ring with 13 other Divas!
Trish raised an eyebrow and looked to Renee.
Trish Stratus: I think we ought to use the term “divas” rather loosely, don’t you? The sad truth is that Velvet Sky, maybe one of the best divas in our company right now has the odds stacked against her. She’s coming in at number one, and I have to wonder if that is going to take its toll on her. I also have to wonder if the fact that Angelina Love is so much better than dear, sweet Velvet is getting into her head? It would bother me, I mean, if my best friend in the world kept getting championship opportunities, and I kept losing… I wouldn’t be feeling to confident going into such a high profile match. It’s unfortunate too, because Vel is so, so talented. Just not as talented as Angelina.
Renee Young: Is that supposed to be a compliment?
Trish Stratus: Take it for what it’s worth.
Renee Young: How do you feel about EBWF newcomer Eva Marie?
Trish Stratus: Well, there’s another little girl who talks real big, but hasn’t been able to get much done, right? She got defeated last week in a match with four other women, so I can’t imagine a match with 13 other women is going to end much differently. She hasn’t made too many friends backstage either, so can’t say I’m overly impressed. Eva is obsessed with all red everything. Well, Eva? Trish Stratus is obsessed with all gold everything, and as the longest reigning women’s champion in EBWF history? I think it’s time for that belt to be back around my waist.
And speaking of redheads, it seems we have another newcomer in Maria. Hi, welcome to EBWF. In case you don’t know, my friend Natalya and I run this entire show with The Beautiful People. There isn’t really room for you or your weird boyfriend Mike Bennett, thinking you can take over the EBWF together. We sort of already have our resident couples, and I’m not sure I need more sweet, gushy stuff clogging up my feed.
Renee Young: Kelly Kelly and Eve haven’t had such a notable run here in EBWF. What do you think about their entries into the Royal Rumble?
Trish Stratus: I don’t really think. about. either of them? Is that the right answer? I mean honestly do we really think that Kelly Kelly or Eve are the next big things in EBWF. No. Simply, no. Now, Nikki Bella… there’s an interesting name in the mix. I wonder what it’s like to be in a match with your sister. Not sure Nikki is going to find out, you know, since she’s coming in at number six and will probably be thrown over the top rope before Brie even sees the light of day.
Renee Young: MsChif is arguably the strongest competitor in the match, and…
Trish Stratus: That’s right, she is. She came into EBWF with such a head of steam it was damn near incredible, and then she fizzled out. Not surprised. She’s right there in the middle of the match where she belongs. Coming out right after her is Cameron, who is just as celebrated and just as boring as MsChif is. Does anyone REALLY believe that Cameron has a shot either? What is with EBWF getting rid of some incredible women’s competitors and filling our roster with these WASTES of SPACE?Don’t as me about Summer Rae, Renee. I’ve said everything I need to say.
Renee Young: Coming out at number 11, right after you, is your best friend Natalya.
Trish Stratus: And? I think that was what I found so funny about the Funkadactyls little spiel earlier this week. They have each other in the Rumble? Please, Nat and I are coming out at number 10 and number 11, and every last one of those girls needs to watch their backs, because we know what needs to be done to win. And we’re not afraid to do it. Not to mention that Brie and Nikki have each other too, if Nikki could stay in the match long enough for Brie to come out, but, yeah, doubt it. Brie Bella is a great up and comer, and I can definitely see her skills in the ring. Do I think she’s going to be able to overpower someone like me? Natalya? Velvet Sky? No. She’s still got a very long way to go.
Renee Young: That brings me to the final competitor, Trish? Some say she’s the best thing to hit the Diva’s Division in a long time, and many are comparing her to… well, Trish Stratus. What are you’re thoughts on Michelle McCool?
Trish Stratus: I’m sorry, they’re comparing her to who? To me? Not on this planet, or any other. She’s a nice stand in, but I’m a better wrestler than her. I’m certainly more photogenic than she is. And one of my most important traits? People actually LIKE me. Pretty sure no one has ever liked Michelle McCool. Michelle won’t be a problem for me, and neither will anyone else in this match. It’s time for Trish Stratus to walk into Wrestlemania and take the EBWF Women’s Championship. That’s not hard to understand.
Renee Young: Thanks for your time Trish. Ladies and Gentlemen the EBWF Royal Rumble is live on Sunday night only on Pay-Per-View!
The scene faded to black.
Trish's Rumble
Trish's Rumble
Writers aren't exactly people. They're a whole bunch of people. Trying to be one person.
The only living, breathing, Queen of Efeds in captivity
"You can't blame a writer for what the characters say." - Truman Capote