Like Winning The Lottery

[D.J]

OOC: Hey Guys here is my RP for Royal Rumble. Best of luck to all! -DJ

The Miz had certainly set himself up for an opportunity. In the Royal Rumble Match the # 30 spot was coveted, it was a chance for him to let the other combatants beat the crap out of each other, and then enter the match fresh as a daisy, with hopes of being victorious and punching his ticket to the main event of Wrestlemania. A place that Miz had not been in over 2 years since his battle with AJ Styles for the World Title back in the days of the Trilogy. Miz had seen success since then, but not in the same way that he had grown accustomed to during that year. The top, was place Miz needed to get back to. Few individuals worked harder than Miz in and out of the ring. He was a household name to say the least, but he wanted more. He wanted another run as the company's champion, he wanted more than to be thought of as a smiling fan favorite, who didn't win enough in the clutch. That's where Royal Rumble came in. Royal Rumble is perhaps the biggest opportunity to regain status, perhaps the biggest opportunity to rise back to the top, and with Miz entering at #30 opportunity was certainly knocking.. all he had to do now.. was answer.

The scene opened up to an EBWF logo. Standing in the middle of the shot wearing a dark grey suit and white shirt and grey tie was The Miz. He stood in front of a lottery ball with ping pong balls bouncing around inside. Miz turned the crank on the side of the ball to create the bouncing of the Ping Pong Balls. He then quickly stopped, and smiled at the camera.

The Miz: Good evening Mizfits and Miztakes.. my name.. if you have been living under a rock, or don't have cable is The Miz. I am the man who in just 2 short days will become the number one contender for the EBWF World Heavyweight Championship. A title that I've held, a title that I've lost, a title that I've seen nearly return to me on a number of occasions only to see it slip through my grasp. This year though, in 2014, your hero, the most must see, the most captivating, your favorite wrestler's favorite wrestler, is coming with the stick-um because there is NO WAY, that I am going to let another opportunity at the games richest prize pass me by. This year, The Miz will enter at number 30, but it wouldn't matter if I was #1, I AM going to walk out of The Rumble match with my ticket punched to Wrestlemania. Hash Tag... FACT.

#Fact popped up on screen.

The Miz: Now you may be wondering what's the deal with the ping pong balls since the order has already been set, and the NBA draft isn't for several months. Well inside here Mizfits, are a majority of the competitors that will be coming out before me this Sunday Night. We do not have all 29, because the powers that be in their infinite wisdom have decided to supply us with some SURPRISE entries. So god only knows who that will be, needless to say I'm not worried, I'm sure they will all be long gone by the time I step foot in the ring regardless. Anyways I thought, like the lottery we'd go 4 at a time here and take a look at some of the competition or lack thereof for this Sunday's Rumble.

The Miz turned the crank and into the slots above the contraption popped 4 ping pong balls. The camera zoomed in to reveal Jay Briscoe, Syxx, Randy Orton, and Broadus Clay.

The Miz: Well there's a fun group, Jay Briscoe, Syxx, Randy Orton, and of course the Funk-A-Sourus himself Broadus Clay. Well we might as well go in order. Jay Briscoe, for those of you that don't remember, eliminated me from the King of the Ring tournament last year. He hasn't been around much lately, he's probably been out shucking some corn, dating his sister, or eating Mayonnaise sandwiches out in good oleee Deleware. Briscoe may have been absent for awhile, but we sure don't miss him. Especially me, Jay, don't think for one second that I've forgotten about your victory over me. I'm the Miz, and I don't lose to people like you. That match sat with me, it ate at me, and if you get in my way during the rumble, forget throwing you over the top rope, I'm going to dismantle you to the point where the EMT's will do it for me to save your career. Losing is not an option for me anymore Jay, and though you do have a victory that you'll be able to tell your son slash brother or daughter slash sister about over me, you will not be able to add in the fact that you won a royal rumble, because that Briscoe, goes through me, and going through me.. is something you will NEVER do again.

The Miz really did look pissed off about his loss to Briscoe in the past.

The Miz: Speaking of never doing things again, we have Syxx. Syxx why did you come back, huh? Why? Honestly I mean did you miss people having to cover the ears of their kids when you yelled out the F word? Because you do know that you could have gone to any Chuckie Cheese to get that kind of reaction. I mean they'd definitely let you in considering you're like 4 foot 6. Just shave that pubic hair beard you got going on there, and you'd be good to go. The question remains though Syxx, why are you here? Why are you still trying to convince everyone that you belong in a pro wrestling ring? Did you miss thrusting your crotch into the face of lifeless guys in a slumped down position? Because you could go to any street corner in any bad part of town, and they'd actually do that to you if you pay them enough! I really.. I really just don't get what you're doing here. You haven't been successful, you're still a peanut, you aren't entertaining, you swear every other word because you only know about 10 non curse words, you're just... I don't know.. exhausting? I guess.. exhausting.. means you make people tired Syxx, so go ahead and put away the dictionary, we both know you can't read and just listen. People are tired of you, they don't care that you used to wrestle, they don't care that you're still friends with the old geezers that used to be the NWO. They don't care that you're in the Royal Rumble.. and that's probably a good thing, because if someone did care they'd be extremely disappointed, because you in the Royal Rumble is going to last about as long as Syxx would in a slam dunk contest without a trampoline. A piece of advice Syxx, go away, stay there, repeat. Thanks.

The Miz smirked as his eyes went to the next Ping Pong Ball.

The Miz: Ah yes, Randy Orton, a guy who is probably not in my fan club after I took his chance to become the 30th entrant on Sunday. Sorry Randy, I mean even you can't win them all. I tried to warn you, that there was no way that anybody, not named The Miz, was going to win that match, but of course you didn't believe me. Just like you didn't believe the guy who told you that acting like a snake would NOT make you cool. You're like the dad in Step Brothers who wants to be a dinosaur. If you spent half of your time going for the kill, as you do on slamming your fists on the mat or coiling up like you do, you may actually get back to the success you once enjoyed. Instead you just carry on like a 1st grader at recces playing "Make Believe" and it often times costs you matches, and costs you victories. Randy, I told you this last week, I'm not afraid of you, you don't intimidate me, because you simply aren't as good as me. You aren't going to RKO me, you aren't going to punt me in the head, you aren't going to do any of the things you'll undoubtedly lie to the fans about this week. What is going to happen is that I'm going to grab you by that little bald head of yours and toss you over the top rope and send you and your title shot hopes crashing down to the floor. Leaving you with no choice but to once again listen to MY NAME be called as the winner. Be Jealous.

The Miz smiled once more.

The Miz: Finally on our first round of names we have Big Broadus Clay. Mr. Funk. Really? Broadus Clay is going to win the Royal Rumble? Really? The Funk-A-Saurus REEEALLY? Broadus Clay, a Hip Hop Man dinasour is going to Wrestlemania, Really? I mean it's j... REALLY?!

The Miz regained his composure.

The Miz: I mean first we got a Snake, now we got a Dino.. what is business coming to? I mean honestly, what's next people coming out in full animal costumes like it was Comic-Con? This guy talks about Funky being on a roll, but unless Funky is code for McDonalds and Burger King, this fat reject knows nothing about it. I mean look, I get it, you're a hit with the kids. You smile you dance, you have cheerleaders, but so do the Milwaukee Bucks but that doesn't mean they ever win, because they don't. Big man, be thankful, and I know you just got excited because the word thankful makes you think of Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving means a lot of food.. but be thankful that you at least have 2 ladies by your side to console you after you lose. Not everyone has that, some people like Leo Kruger haven't even kissed a girl before, so you're still ahead of the game, you just won't be going to Wrestlemania.

The Miz hit a button on the machine and in an instant the ping pong balls almost as if on a suction vacated their positions. He then turned the crank and 4 more came in their places. The camera zoomed in to see Jon Moxley, Christian, Kevin Nash, and Daniel Bryan.

The Miz: This is weird, must be some sort of mistake, this is a Wrestling Match not my e-vite list for the MTV challenge reunion party.

A voice from of camera said something, the Miz looked past the camera to try and hear him.

The Miz: No.. Jonny Moxley.. he was the host on those reality challenge shows I used to do..

The voice was still unable to be made out, but Miz seemed to be able to understand it.

The Miz: Oh RIGHT that was Jonny Mosley. Would either one of them have a chance to win the Royal Rumble?

The voice was quickly heard.

The Miz: Ok cool I didn't think so. Moxley, you may as well go join Mosley on the slopes, because there's absolutely no way you are going to be any kind of a factor in the Royal Rumble. I've never even heard of you, I googled you and google was all "Ask Jeeves." and Jeeves said "Johnny Mosley?" And I'm all no.. Jonny Moxley.. and then Jeeves said "Did you Try Google?" And I'm All "yeah, google told me to ask you." So Jeeves is all "well then I think you're shit out of luck," and I'm all "No Moxley is, because he's Jonny Moxley and he's a nobody." And Jeeves is all "Right, that's true he is." So long story short, you're Jonny Moxley, you're not winning the Royal Rumble, deal with it or don't, it's just not going to happen. You won't be a star, you won't be anything except the guy who can confuse girls at college parties to think you were the olympic skier who used to host the shows on MTV. Not a wonderful life, but at least it's better than Leo Kruger's.

The Miz shook his head in disgust again, thinking about what it would be like to be Leo Kruger. The voice was heard again saying something to Miz who looked past the camera again.

The Miz: What? It's actually Dean Ambrose? With a different name. Dean Ambrose, Dean Ambrose? Is his hair still inexplicably wet? Well that's good. So anyways Dean Ambrose leader of the shield.. or Jon Moxley leader of the guys with no shot to win the rumble. Whoever you are whatever you do, stay out of my way on Sunday Night. I'm not going to be all Shield Cryptic.. I'm going right to the point. Try to keep me from the rumble.. and you will. get. hurt.

The Miz seemed to gather intensity once he came to the realization that Moxley was actually Ambrose.

The Miz: Next we have Christian. Oh Christian, I'm sure you're as sick of this dance as I am. Every time I see Christian in the same match is my I get the most severe vivid flashbacks of me kicking his ass.. usually it's because I just got through.. well kicking his ass. Such is the case again in this situation. Christian's record against me moved to 0-893 this past week on Warfare when he was one of the 3 men I defeated to earn my place as #30, and as usual he looked bad doing it. Christian's theme music talks about "Just Closing Your Eyes" I think he should just close his eyes, click his heels three times and wish for some talent, because this guy has been nothing but a disappointment since he returned to EBWF about a year ago. He keeps promising his peeps, success, and keeps giving them turd sandwiches to eat. Christian, seriously man, this is what you need to do. Come out.. tell your fans you're not going to win... and then walk back up the ramp. At least this way you can manage their expectations. Your peeps are tired of you letting them down, they are tired of you not satisfying them. They have phone conversations with every girl you've ever been with and they swap stories of how you let them down, and don't ever satisfy them. It's really sad. Just let them know what they're in for, it'll soften the blow. Do the right thing.

The Miz once again confidently smirked.

The Miz: Speaking of doing the right thing, the EBWF has decided to let Kevin Nashes fossil behind into the Royal Rumble Match. Probably to try and hide Syxx in his Kangaroo Pouch for the entire match to try and help him win, but regardless, Big Daddy Cool is not going to Wrestlemania and neither is Syxx. The Rumble match is often a haven for once upon a time guys to make their triumphant returns to the ring but more often than not it doesn't last very long. Their music hits, people smile then before they know it, their once upon a time hero is crashing to the floor in defeat. Nash will talk a big game about how this match will bring him back, he might even have a montage like in all the movies that describe old washed up losers returning to athletic competition. Scott Hall might be in it helping him improve just a little bit with every clip, but in the end it will be all for not.. similar to Scott Hall's career.. but that's neither here nor there. Nash might have been in Magic Mike, but he will need magic and maybe the fountain of youth, to have any sort of a chance this Sunday. Neither of which will be present.

The Miz cleared his throat.

The Miz: Which brings me to Daniel Bryan. Considered by many as one of the best technical wrestler's around. The man of 1000 submission holds, the man of the one word catch phrase, the man of a goat beard, one of the men who won't be headlining Wrestlemania. Daniel Bryan can put people in the Boston Crab, the Los Angeles Crab, the Pittsburgh Crab, the a rear chin lock, a front chin lock, a sideways chin lock, an STF, a QRS, a TUV, or an LMNOP, but the idea of the rumble is to get people over the top rope, and Daniel can barely get into the ring himself without a booster seat, so him throwing people over certainly isn't going to happen. Daniel Bryan may be many things, but the number one contender for the EBWF Title will NEVER be one of them.

Again the 4 ping pong balls disappeared and The Miz turned the crank once more and 4 more names popped up. The camera zoomed in to see Damien Sandow, Evan Bourne, Ted DiBiase, and John Cena.

The Miz: Well this seems easy enough to group these guys together. Let's start with the first two Damien Sandow and Evan Bourne. A duo of irrelevance in this match. Sandow might be able to teach a collegiate course better than me, but he certainly can't outperform me in the ring. All the theories, and footnotes, and citations in the world won't save him from getting a brutal beatdown, and tossed over the top rope this Sunday. The same goes for Evan Bourne. Flying through the air with the greatest ease, he goes up diddly up up.. and he'll go down diddly down down, on Sunday Night. Neither one of these guys, has an even small chance to win the rumble, so I'm not going to waste any more of my breath on either one of them.

The Miz took a deep breath and continued.

The Miz: Speaking of no chance to win, we have Ted DiBiase. A man who has been floating around this place in a river of unimportance since I left his side a year and a half ago. Ted, like Christian can not and will not ever beat me, in a singles match, a tag match, a royal rumble match, a burping contest, arm wrestling, mario party on nintendo 64, NOTHING. I made him famous for a brief moment in time, and then that moment passed. It's blowing in the wind, like Ted Dibiase if he was wrestling in the wind... you see what I did there?

The Miz smirked.

The Miz: Finally John Cena. John Cena. A man who I'd be lying if I said that I didn't recognize him as a legitimate threat to my winning the Royal Rumble. John has won, won, and won some more over the past year or so. Something or someone has to slow this guy down. That someone is going to be The Miz. The HUMAN RED LIGHT baby. Cena, I know you, I like you, we party together, but as far as The Royal Rumble goes, the only one that's going to be celebrating at it's conclusion is this guy.

The Miz pointed his two thumbs towards himself.

The Miz: I just can't sit back and watch you get yourself in line for another title. It's annoying enough as it is that every time we hang out you bring your belts. I mean I know it sounds like sour grapes, but dude I don't think everybody at Applebee's needs to know that you're the Intercontinental and Path To Glory Champion. They just want to know how you want your steak cooked, that's it. TELL THEM HOW YOU WANT YOUR STEAK COOKED JOHN!

The Miz shook his head.

The Miz: I've digressed, the point is, there's no room at the table for a third title. So as much as we're friends, I'm not letting you take that step towards the World Title. I am going to take the step, then at Wrestlemania, I'm going to take the leap of becoming the Champ and then I'M going to be the guy at Applebee's with my belt on the table! ME, JOHN!!

The Miz smiled.

The Miz: Alright Mizfits, that's all for now! Be sure to tune in Sunday when your idol, the cream of the crop, The Miz is the last man standing in the Royal Rumble!

The scene faded to black. We reopened to a scene that was a little bit unexpected. It was a house party. It was dark outside but several lights illuminated the scene. The place was extremely lavish there was a pool girls and guys dancing, loud music playing. The camera whipped it's way through the scene, it then cut to inside the house where drinking games such as beer pong, and flip cup were going on. It was a good old fashion kegger from the looks of the scene. The scene then cut to the drive way of the place where a Lamborghini sat in the fore front of the scene with the license plate "MIZ" the camera then cut back to the pool area where attractive girls were dancing in bikini's. There was a stage area that was quickly inhabited by the man we'd been waiting on since we saw the license plate. He had no shirt on and black bathing suit. He had a microphone in his hand. The music stopped so he could be heard.

The Miz: Hello hello, is everyone having a good time tonight?

The people at the party cheered.

The Miz: I know you are.. especially you Funaki!

The scene cut to Funaki who had sunglasses on a corona in his hand and two scantily clad ladies sitting on his lap.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

The crowd cheered loudly and Miz smiled.

The Miz: Well as you all know, this is my pre Royal Rumble bash. A celebration before the celebration.. because tomorrow night friends, Romans, and countrymen, The Miz is walking into Royal Rumble a normal man.. OK let's be honest not a normal man. A handsome, charismatic, and charming man.. but still I will be walking in a man on a mission. A man with a goal, a man with a focus, and when I walk out of the Royal Rumble I will be a man who will have a guaranteed EBWF Title Match at the grand daddy of them all, Wrestle..MANIA!

The crowd cheered.

The Miz: Now I know, that you guys know, that I know that you know, that it doesn't matter who I find myself in the ring with tomorrow night when I enter the ring at #30. It doesn't change the fact that there are some guys that are going to be doing everything in their power to keep me from me reaching my Wrestlemania destination. Let's start with the guys we can laugh at with regards to them actually succeeding, and work our way towards the guys who may realistically do so. I mean guys like Bad News Barrett, are just not real threats, but we can all make fun of him still. For those of you that don't know Bad News Barrett is Wade Barrett just with a new gimmick that he basically stole from Debbie Downer of SNL. Bad News Barrett tells the crowd each week, some bad news. Well I have some bad news for him, if he thinks he's winning the Royal Rumble he's drunker than Mickie James is right now.

The camera cut to Mickie James who was making out with a tree just outside the pool area. When she realized the camera was on her, she too channeled an old SNL character.

Mickie James: SUPERSTARRR!! MARY CATHERINE GALLAGHER!

The Miz shook his head.

The Miz: Crazy. Then we have other guys like Mike Bennett. Guys who will be looking to come in an immediately make an impact, but will also fail miserably. I almost feel sorry for guys like this. He will probably have all sorts of butterflies in his stomach, he'll probably throw up like he was Eminem before the first rap battle of 8 Mile, all for him to, much like Em, choke when he finally gets in the ring. He will probably invite his whole family, his mom, dad, brothers, sisters cousins. They will look forward to it all week, they'll make signs, t-shirts, even foam fingers that say "Go Mike Bennett!" All for him to enter the Royal Rumble and then exit the Royal Rumble in the blink of an eye. Save your family the trip new guy, because unless they are fans of the Miz, if they show up Sunday, they won't leave happy.

The crowd cheered. Miz smiled and held his hand up for the cheering to subside.

The Miz: Then we have guys like Chris Sabin and Leo Kruger. Guys who got to know The Miz all too well this past Monday on Warfare. Guys who could have been in the #30 spot, but fell just a little bit short. This Sunday they are destined to again fall just a little bit short, even if they have the best night of their careers, their best night is not going to be good enough to overcome me. Chris Sabin urges us to "Hail him" really? We're supposed to hail you Chris Sabin? Really? Why would we do that, what is there about you that we should look up to? You've done nothing in this business in any company that people actually care about, and on Sunday Winning the Royal Rumble will be added to your list of things you will never do and to the list of reasons we should Not Hail Sabin. As for Leo Kruger, your personal hygiene or lack thereof may be your only chance in this match. People may literally jump over the top rope to avoid having to go anywhere near you. The good news is you just aren't talented enough to stay in this rumble match, and those of us that can put up with your undeniable stench, will have no problem sending you to the showers, even though you won't ever take one.

The crowd laughed and cheered holding up their drinks!

The Miz: Finally we have Phil Shatter.. OK Phil Shatter sucks.. not even worth talking about.

Back to Funaki and the girls. Funaki was nodding his head..

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED.

The Miz: Which brings us to 5 guys who's names I've heard kicked around as the quote un quote favorites. Starting with Dolph Ziggler. He is new around here, but he's a guy that every where he goes people talk about him as being someone who has a tremendous upside. Someone with unlimited potential. They say this over and over again, and everyone expects him to do something, but then he just never does. He talks about showing off, but then he just never does. Him calling himself a show off in the Wrestling Ring, is like someone who can't even dribble a basketball calling himself a "show off" on the court. The only thing Dolph Ziggler "Shows Off" is his ability to be overrated. He is excellent at that. One of the best I've seen. Dolph talks about stealing the show, he talks about tanning salons... or maybe he just goes to them.. the point is Dolph Ziggler is always going to just be the guy with the look, the potential, the guy that could have been but never was. The guy that people say could win the Royal Rumble, but never actually does. So regardless of the cocky persona, the pink shirts, the butt wiggling like he was Patrick Swayze, Dolph Ziggler is and will always be.. in all actuality.. a nobody.

The crowd once again cheered!

The Miz: We go from a nobody to two SOMEBODIES. Two powerful men, two men in this Rumble match that have literally held the title of CEO of this very company. Chris Jericho and Mr. Wesley Ikeda himself.

The crowd cheered. The Miz nodded acknowledging the cheers.

The Miz: Well deserved for both of these guys. Chris has been one of the most successful guys in this companies history.. and Wes well without him, this company HAS no history. Now I'm not trying to patronize either of these guys, I'm not trying to suck up, but I'm also not going to sit here and say that I don't see these guys as threats because I do. Jericho and Ikeda, like me will be confident, they will be very self assured that they can be the last man standing on Sunday Night. Unfortunately for them, all the confidence in the world will not make up for the fact that Chris best days are behind him, and that Wes though talented, and gifted at singing karaoke especially after 3 scorpion bowls

The crowd cheered at the mention of Alcohol.

The Miz: Is not the wrestler that he thinks he is. Wes, I love you buddy, and I wish you had clicked yes on the Facebook invite I sent you for this party to hear me say this to your face, but here it is, you should leave the wrestling to us. The guys that do it night in and night out, the guys that put their bodies on the line each and every night.. not just once in a blue moon. Wes you may be the freshest of the competitors in the Royal Rumble, but the grind, the struggle, the night in and night out grinders, are going to have the experience, and the savvy to make you look way over your head and way out of your league on Sunday. Look man, I wouldn't try to come into the board room and out smart you in the business world, so I'm not sure why you want to step in our office, and attempt to do the equivalent of that to all of your competitors. I hope you'll take this the right way, and with all due respect I say this, it is my sincere hope that after you humiliate yourself on Sunday that you will just call it a career with regards to you wrestling..stick to the stuff you're good at. Being a dad, a businessman, a singer, a quoter of Adam Sandler movies..a friend.. and I hope we can still be friends when I'm the one with my hand raised on Sunday. When I'm the one standing tall, as the fireworks go off, heading to Wrestlemania, and you aren't. I hate saying this all behind your back.. so jeeze man.. next time just click yes!

The Miz smirked though he was claiming Wes as his friend, the comments he just uttered would surely not make the boss all that happy.

The Miz: Speaking of guys that we haven't seen in the ring all that much as of late. Also in the match this Sunday will be Edge and Mr. Anderson. Edge, is another guy that I just feel can't let the spotlight go. Every time I think he's gone for good, he pops up winking into the camera, smiling with his grand canyon of a mouth in my face, reminding me that he's once again back. Once again back for me to hear all the hype.. The Rated R Superstar is back wooooooo hoooooo.. I can't tell you how many times I've had to pull one of these.

The Miz executed a fake smile, and a disinterested but feigned sincere tone.

The Miz: "Oh yeah, Edge.. wow.. that's great."

The Miz acted as though the fake person telling him this had walked away, Miz then rolled his eyes and seemed unimpressed. This drew more laughs from his guests.

The Miz: Edge is another guy, that I can't question what he's done. I can't question his success, but I am questioning if he is ready to have anymore of it.. I just don't think that he is.. nay.. I know that he isn't. At least not on this night, at least not in this match.. because Edge you can claim you are the one that's rated R, but YOU are the one who's going to need parental supervision if you try and stand in my way this Sunday Night. I refuse to be a part of the night that Edge becomes the number one contender to the World Title. This Sunday is going to be MY NIGHT. MY TIME, and there's no wise crack.. or witty comment that you can throw my way that's going to change that.

There was silence in the crowd due to the fact that Miz had seemingly gotten serious.

The Miz: Phil Shatter SUCKS!!

The Miz picked up a Bud Light on the table next to him and raised it in the air. The crowd cheered, we were back with Funaki.

Funaki: (Voice Over) INDEED!

The Miz: Speaking of returns of people that suck. Mr. ANDERSONNNNNNN... ANDERSON is back. Now we can pretty much just put him in the category of people I have owned from start to finish over the course of the past few years. I've pinned him, I've outsmarted him, I've laughed with him, I've laughed at him... mostly at him. I mean what is there to say about him really.. other than that he's a loud mouth without 2 brain cells to rub together, roughneck , hardcore holly look alike loser, that continues to leave and come back, only to have nobody care when he does either. He's a guy that yells his name out loud at the top of his lungs, which is probably a good thing because he leaves and changes it so much that we all pretty much forget what it is until he says it again. I have had a few drinks tonight, but I'm sober enough to know that EBWF's asshole is going to have his ass kicked this Sunday Night.

The crowd cheered one more time.

The Miz: One by one competitors will enter tomorrow night. There will be guys who last a long time, there will be guys who will have short stays. One by one competitors will run down that ramp with opportunity and desire to headline Wrestlemania on their minds. 29 men will enter with that same goal, but none of them will, because on Sunday it will be the 30th man that enters the ring who will be the one to achieve it. This Sunday Night Mizfits... and Funaki.

Funaki held up his corona, and it cut back to Miz.

The Miz: The Royal Rumble will TRULY save the best for last.. because I'M THE MIZ.. AND I'MMMMMM

Crowd: AWEEEEEEESOME!!!!!

The Miz: Exactly.

The Miz dropped the mic to a raucous ovation from the part

[Ashlee]

The Miz: Speaking of guys that we haven't seen in the ring all that much as of late. Also in the match this Sunday will be Edge and Mr. Anderson. Edge, is another guy that I just feel can't let the spotlight go. Every time I think he's gone for good, he pops up winking into the camera, smiling with his grand canyon of a mouth in my face, reminding me that he's once again back. Once again back for me to hear all the hype.. The Rated R Superstar is back wooooooo hoooooo.. I can't tell you how many times I've had to pull one of these.

The Miz executed a fake smile, and a disinterested but feigned sincere tone.

The Miz: "Oh yeah, Edge.. wow.. that's great."



.... I laughed pretty hard.

[Holly]

It's annoying enough as it is that every time we hang out you bring your belts. I mean I know it sounds like sour grapes, but dude I don't think everybody at Applebee's needs to know that you're the Intercontinental and Path To Glory Champion. They just want to know how you want your steak cooked, that's it. TELL THEM HOW YOU WANT YOUR STEAK COOKED JOHN!

LOL'd!!! And now we know where John and Mike went after the Rumble to get silly and sloppy.... Applebee's!

[Will]

Nice work. I had a few good laughs while reading this. Mayonnaise sandwiches. Lmao. Good luck bro!