I’ve been called a lot of things these last few weeks. Insecure, crazy, bitch… Wow, who peed in everyone’s cheerios?
The camera panned to bring Michelle McCool into the frame. She was shaking her head. The immediate background was dark, but silhouettes of objects could be made out behind her. Even her outfit consisted of dark colors: a black Versace blazer with a black and white patterned blouse underneath. The atmosphere seemed empty.
Michelle: It’s funny though, because look at me now. I’m came out on top yet again. Why do people say things like that?
The diva pondered her question, looking down at the ground for a few seconds before taking a deep breath in and answering, looking back up at the camera.
Michelle: Maybe it’s because THEY are the crazy, insecure bitches. But not me. I think it’s time to clue in the clueless.
She was abnormally tame, not appearing to have her usual haughty, arrogant attitude. Her tone had its natural inflections, but other than that she didn’t seem upset or annoyed, like she usually was.
Michelle: I don’t know how much more of this I can take. This… blindness to the truth, to put it politely. It’s time to wake up, people. I’m taking over. Since the day I stepped foot in an EBWF ring, I’ve done nothing but be the best at what I do. I’ve won. Won everything. I won it all at the Royal Rumble Pay Per View. I will proudly throw my victory in the faces of the people who doubted me, who denied my potential, who claimed I didn’t stand a chance. For some reason, that happened to be quite a bit of people. But like I said, look at me now. I’ve got that golden ticket, I’m going big, just like I said I would.
There was another thoughtful pause as she took time thinking of how to phrase her next statement.
Michelle: You know, it’s also amusing that I’ll be facing Eva Marie at Warfare… Again. I think most of you remember what I said before I beat this elf on a shelf, flaming sideburn flunky. And for those of you that can’t remember? It went along the lines of something like this…
Right on cue, she was handed a sheet of paper by someone off camera, and she cleared her throat before reading it.
Michelle: “Eva Marie is only getting in my way. She’s just another stepping stone on my climb to the top of the mountain… Eva Marie will be that little girl that gets left behind, lost in the crowd, while everything else keeps moving on without her, because she’s so small, tiny, easily forgotten, hard to remember, insignificant. Irrelevant.”
She crumpled up the paper and threw it on the floor, taking a second to step on it then kick it away for dramatic effect.
Michelle: The irony. I wiped the floor with her and went on to go to Wrestlemania. And I knew I would! Is the wrestling world buzzing about Eva Marie? No. Like I said, open your eyes, EBWF Universe, I only speak the truth…
Her icy gaze had drifted off camera again, looking at someone and one of her eyebrows rose in response before both of them furrowed.
Michelle: Wait, Eva Marie called me crazy? That BITCH!
The last sentence had been a sudden change in tone, the words practically spat from her mouth harshly. But in the blink of an eye she had gently brushed her hair back over her shoulder with her hand and sighed, letting all the hostility be expelled from her body.
Michelle: Sorry, I pulled a Velvet…
She had to chuckle and shake her head.
Michelle: If you don’t understand my reference, I can explain. I called Velvet Sky Ms. Piggy, and it looks like I hit a sore spot and she called me a bitch. Can’t ham-dle, excuse me, handle the truth? That’s fine. I’m not offended in the least. Maybe you should be more like me. That leads me to another topic of importance: The Royal Rumble…
Once again the person of interest, Velvet Sky, who I think I’ll call a “nobody” --because that’s what she is-- claimed I was off the radar, in other words not up to par to meet the standards of some other “divas”. Funny that was brought up, because despite the fact this nobody is so close to her so called friend, aka the women’s champion Angelina Love, and has the title flashed in her face every single day, she can’t have it. She’s inches away from the gold. Yet someone “off the radar” comes right in and takes the opportunity to snatch it. Tragic!
Her expression showed a bit of concern, but in reality she didn’t have any. She shrugged.
Michelle: I do have to give her props. She was the first one in that match, lasted until the end, and single-handedly eliminated 5 participants. But what’s the point in going through all that trouble if you don’t win?
That’s not the real focus of this video, though. It's all about me, and what I'm going to do. I think we need to go back to my match on Warfare. In one week, I’ll be on the other side of the world in Glasgow, Scotland in the ring with poor, confused Eva…
She had turned around and started to walk deeper into the darkness and closer to the silhouettes.
Michelle: Eva Eva Eva.. The only reason you were booked against me is because I’m the only way to keep your head above water, to keep you in the spotlight, to keep people talking about you. The only way reason you’ll be famous is because you’re going to be in the presence of someone famous. Me.
She stopped at a counter, now illuminated by the dull light of the video camera. On it was a cluster of plush dolls, one looked like a cabbage patch, another was a teddy bear, and in the center was a Raggedy Ann. Michelle pointed at the blonde cabbage patch girl, before reaching and grabbing the Raggedy Ann.
Michelle: You don’t recognize your friend Summer Rae? Of course you wouldn’t. Who knows where that little pea-brain of yours is floating right now, Eva. You think I’m crazy? I can tell you what’s really crazy.
She smacked the cabbage patch doll off the counter and to the floor. Then she was holding the Raggedy Ann out in front of her, apparently addressing it as part of her own act of insanity. She turned and faced the camera, now holding the doll by its scarlet pig tails. In a split second she had jerked both tails of her away from the dolls head and ripped them right off, letting it fall. She held the yarn-made strands in her finger tips, letting them dangle in front of the camera.
Michelle: What’s crazy is me having to deal with you again. I thought I’d taken care of you the first time. I thought you’d learned your lesson the first time. You want red everything? Here’s your red everything!
She threw the red pig tails into the camera lens, and reached down to pick up the now bald toy.
Michelle: Obviously there’s nothing working in that pretty little head of yours. This time I need to make sure I really put you down. Put you in your place, show you where the real show goes on.
As she said this, she’d started pulling out the cotton from the holes in the side of the doll’s head and let it float down to the floor.
Michelle: It’ll just be another easy win for me. And I’d like to thank you for that, Eva. Thank you, for allowing me to continue my streak. And you’re welcome, for me even giving you the chance to be in my presence, and be the first match I’ll have on my road to Wrestlemania. I could have easily said no and not have wasted my time. It’s a shame you’ll be left behind though, like I said before I even met you in our first match. It’s people like you that have no chance in this business. Maybe you and your friends can hitchhike and catch up with me sometime. Until then, nothing is going to slow me down.
She tossed the doll over her shoulder behind her, letting it land on the dusty concrete floor, and smirked.
Michelle: See you next week, Raggedy Ann.
Michelle walked off scene, and the camera lowered and zoomed in on the blonde cabbage patch doll and the hairless raggedy ann, before the scene faded into the EBWF logo.
