I'm a Boss... Right?

[Kamden]

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OOC: Wrote this today, and had some fun with it. (There's a couple of Most Popular Girls in School reference in there so you know it's gonna be good lol). Anyways, hope you all enjoy it!
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**As the video found on ebwf.net begins, the words “Earlier Today” are seen in the bottom right corner, and the EBWF Logo on the bottom left**

“@SashaHBIC: Backstage w/my boy @AngeloDawkins, where are the cameras!?”

The tweet was live from backstage at the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines, Iowa. Sasha was busy trying to make a name for herself, with no luck. Then again it was kind of her fault. She came in right when the King and Queen of the Ring Tournaments began. She didn’t even get a spot! And tonight, the tournament for the divas was officially beginning.

Sasha Banks: Angelo, I wanna know why I’M not in the Queen of the Ring tournament!

Angelo Dawkins: You signed your contract after they booked it! It ain’t my fault, that’s all on y—

Sasha Banks: Shut up Angelo.

She was offended. Even though it was her fault, she was offended. And poor Angelo. He was always on the receiving end of her unreasonable reasoning.

Sasha Banks: Anyways, Summer sent me this list of all the divas we hate. Natalya, Trish Stratus, The Beautiful People—

She gagged.

Sasha Banks: Torrie Wilson, Michelle McCool. Basically the older people. All we have on our side is Eva Marie. Did Summer even think this through?! This is basic allegra or whatever math is called…

Angelo didn’t make a sound. Probably because he was nodding off, unable to consciously experience whatever Sasha was talking about. But it’d save him the trouble. Sasha was acting like a fool, and sadly basic "allegra" was just the beginning.

Sasha Banks: Angelo!

He sat up a little straighter after clearing his throat.

Angelo Dawkins: What!

Sasha Banks: Ugh, never mind. I found out I’m not the only new girl either.

She stopped and thought about it for a minute then smacked her hand on the table when she figured it out. Angelo jumped in his seat, and rubbed at his eye like he had been sleeping. Well, he had been.

Sasha Banks: All of them are just a… Hot mess.

She shuddered before putting the paper down on the table. Angelo closed his eyes again, since it was pointless to keep them open.

Sasha Banks: Some of them are so scandalous even Olivia Pope would be like “Biyeeee.” Ha.

Angelo chuckled a little.

Sasha Banks: I’m being serious. These girls think just cuz I’m Snoop Dogg’s—

She had to correct herself. It just wasn’t right.

Sasha Banks: These girls think just cuz I’m Snoop Lion’s cousin I’m gonna be easy to get to roll over and lie down and do tricks. Um, they’ve got it twisted! I may be a pit bull but I don’t answer to anyone except myself.

Angelo Dawkins: That would have sounded a lot better if you went with Snoop Dogg. And, you’re more like a Chihuahua.

Sasha Banks: Aww, thanks Angelo.

He really didn’t mean that as a compliment... He shook his head.

Sasha Banks: Most of the divas here are in their Dirty Thirties. And I’m just starting my Roarin’ Twenties!

Sasha gasped.

Sasha Banks: MAJOR Flashback! The Great Depression! Can you believe that? Even the Women’s Champ is hella old. She doesn’t have much time left on her clock. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had Old-Timers. It’s sooo possible for her! And some of the other girls especially at their age. Angelo, can you believe this?

Old-Timers, really? That was embarrassing., and that was the last straw for Angelo. He just got up and walked away.

The whole time Sasha was talking she had been scrolling down her Twitter feed, not realizing Angelo had gotten up and left.

Sasha Banks: Angelo. Angelo? ANGELO!

She turned her head and gasped. How could he have left her! People would think she was talking to herself. She was upset by this.

Sasha Banks: Ugh, this is NOT a good image for me, I swear if anybody caught me talkin’ to a wall I’ll be ruined.

Ironically, a camera man had been recording the whole time. Another thing she failed to notice. She got up and walked off camera, leaving its operator confused.

Camera Man: I thought this was supposed to be your promo?

Now he was the one talking to a wall. But for him, it wasn’t on tape, unlike Sasha’s conversation. He shrugged and packed up his gear, before leaving the scene. The video fades out to black before returning seconds later.

The scene picked up and cameras were following Sasha Banks again. She was still backstage, only this time, Warfare was live. Michelle McCool was watching the show from a tv monitor, when Sasha came up beside her. It was a few seconds before Michelle realized someone else was in the room. When she turned her head she jumped, being caught off guard and took a step back.

Michelle McCool: Oh my—it looks like we have another rat infestation! Ugh.

Sasha was taken aback. She placed a hand on her chest and looked at Michelle with a similar look of disgust. So it was true that Michelle had a mean streak... but apparently it went on 24/7.

Michelle McCool: I’m so sorry. I thought you were… someone else. Don’t look so heartbroken. What am I doing? I should introduce myself, how rude of me.

She went to hold out her hand for a sincere shake, but her demeanor changed.

Michelle McCool: Wait… Who are you?

Sasha Banks: Who are you?!

They both looked at each other, clearly shocked. How could Sasha not know who Michelle was? Better yet, how could Michelle not know who Sasha was?

I asked you first!

The two asked each other at the same time. Michelle held up her title.

Michelle McCool: Are you serious!?

Sasha shrugged.

Sasha Banks: Like I said, who are you??

She had that catty smirk on her face. Her hands were on her hips, too. It was almost like a challenge. Michelle sized her up.

Michelle McCool: You’re awful short. Why don’t you go hang out with El Dorito? You’re practically the same size as him.

Sasha Banks: I’m pretty sure it’s El Taquito. And don’t call me short. It only looks that way cuz you’re a giant. Tuh.

She turned and was now face in the direction of the camera, her eyes drifting to the floor, not being able to look at Michelle. She was about to start laughing. Michelle didn’t find it funny. Of course she didn’t.

Michelle McCool: Ohhh, now I know who you are! Aren’t you Snoop Dogg’s cousin? Purse Chihuahua or something like that?

Sasha turned so fast that Michelle had to take another step back to avoid being knocked over.

Sasha Banks: It’s Snoop Lion now. Not Dogg. And yes, I am in fact, Snoop Lion’s cousin. And who are you callin' a purse chihuahua? That's about the most lame-buck insult I've heard in my LIFE! But... you won’t know me only as his cousin soon.

Sasha’s smirk came back and she crossed her arms confidently. She was the Boss. For a few seconds. Michelle was busy trying to figure out what in the world lame-buck insult was. She figured out she must have meant "lame duck"...

Michelle McCool: Really? Do you think that running with Summer Rae and Eva Marie of all people will boost your career here? Please. And by the way you mix up your words you wouldn't get very far by yourself either. You should be the new poster child for malapropisms...

Sasha was shocked. She pointed to herself to try and act like she didn’t know what Michelle was talking about. How’d she already know? The self-proclaimed HBIC signed only a few days ago.

Sasha Banks: Stop tryna act like you're so bougie, throwin' around words like malproperisms and all that... And Summer and Eva? There's no way you could---

Michelle laughed out loud, right in Sasha's face and cut her off.

Michelle McCool: That’s right, I already know. I’m the EBWF Women’s Champion. Hi, nice to meet you.

Sasha couldn’t tell if she was being serious or not. She slowly extended her hand out for a shake but reeled her arm in quickly when Michelle started again. She was kind of scary now.

Michelle McCool: I know what goes on back here. I watch the Twitter feed. I read the website. I watch all the diva’s promos. This is my division. You should probably make a habit of keeping up with things so you know who you’re talking to. Your “crew” has already stepped on quite a few people’s toes. Since you decided to associate yourself with that group, I already don’t like you, Sasha Banks.

Sasha's jaw dropped to the floor and she exhaled silently. That was rude.

Michelle McCool: The sad part is I might have actually liked you. But you’ve already screwed up. Day one in this business and you already have enemies. An entire locker room against you. And you haven’t even had a match yet! Oh my. You’re a bright little child.

At this point Michelle was starting to bore Sasha. Until the next statement got her attention. Michelle sighed. It seemed like for a second she eased up.

Michelle McCool: Don’t take it personally.

Sasha Banks: I wasn’t. You don’t scare me. You’re just a trip.

She noticed Michelle rolled her eyes so she did too.

Michelle McCool: Not that many people like me either. I’m just smarter than you are about it. Have fun with your two friends. You can tell them all about our little conversation, and maybe they'll take the hint that they're in for it. I hope the rest of the diva’s division doesn’t make your time here miserable. You look fragile and probably couldn’t handle much. How do you bid your farewells? “Biyeeee”, right? See you around, girly.

Sasha looked on after the women’s champion left the room, before turning around and bumping into something. Angelo Dawkins had just walked up after witnessing what just went down. Sasha was livid. All she could do was ball her fists up at him. He left earlier, and now he decided to show up.

Angelo Dawkins: Damn, she told you Sasha!

Sasha huffed and pushed past Angelo, who shrugged and followed behind his “friend”. The video ended with a fadeout into the EBWF logo.

[Ashlee]

Michelle is such a bitch. I wanna slap her in real life.

That's a good thing hahahahaha

[Will]

I had a few good laughs with this one. I love your work!