Beat it!

[Jayme]

OOC - Just wanted to get something posted. Kamden gets most of the credit for this one. Good luck to Ashlee, Holly and Nick S. =)


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Lately, things had not been so hot for EBWF’s resident Mean Girls. The HBIC Sasha Banks was on a losing streak, and being constantly harassed with Tweets. Summer Rae couldn't seem to stir the pot with her gossip, no matter how hard she tried, and Eva Marie was just MIA. On top of that, Summer seemed to be interested in someone. Not that trying to find a date was a bad thing; it was just who she was interested in that made things worse.

It was Monday evening, and Warfare had just kicked off. Backstage, Summer Rae was found staring at a tv. She may as well have been drooling, because a dreamy gaze was set on the screen where the first match of the night was about to begin. Enzo Amore had just came out to the ring.

Summer Rae: There’s something about him that’s just…

Summer let out a long sigh and smiled.

Sasha Banks: Weird! He’s so egg-centric. Like, look at the way he mix matches his clothes. Not cute.

Sasha, with her tag title on her shoulder, turned to look at her best friend, who was still transfixed on the monitor. Enzo finished his part and Summer finally looked away, and to her surprise found Sasha standing beside her.

Summer Rae: Oh hey bae! I didn’t even see you there!!

Summer did her trademark hair primp and Sasha put a hand on her hip, with a questioning look on her face.

Sasha Banks: Oh. My. G. No way... Summer! you can’t be serious!

Summer Rae: What? I have no idea what you’re talking about…

Sasha Banks: You need to stay focused, not drool like some fool over a guy who doesn’t even have a good sense of fashion. Tuh. Of all the hot guys here, you’re swanning over Enzo Amore?! I mean, he’s no John Cena and you’re no Danielle Pasta, and I mean that in the most nicest way Summer.

As the conversation ensued the two had began strolling across the production area backstage. But Sasha’s comment had made Summer stop in her tracks and give her a look of her own.

Summer Rae: Swanning? I think you mean “swooning”, Sasha. If you’re going to question my judgement maybe you should learn how to speak first.

Sasha was taken aback. She put a hand to her chest and gasped, genuinely looking hurt.

Sasha Banks: Of all the people in the world, I never would have thought you’d say that to me Summer. So rude!

Summer sighed and wrapped her much tinier BFFL in a hug.

Summer Rae: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. It’s just, lately we haven’t been taken seriously. I mean, you haven’t won a match in a month, and Eva hasn’t even had a match in a month, and I can’t find a guy to be my date for Dinner with the Divas.

Sasha eventually warmed up to the hug and then broke free, patting Summer on the shoulder.

Summer: It's just like... so stressful, ya know?

Sasha simply shook her head no and waved off whatever Summer was going on about.

Sasha Banks: Summer. This is serious. I think we’re having…

She looked around and then down at her feet, and whispered.

Sasha Banks: A mid-life christis.

Summer once again looked down to Sasha with a look clearly speaking “WTF” and had to ask.

Summer Rae: What the heck is that?

Sasha spoke a little louder this time.

Sasha Banks: A mid-life christis. You know, when things just start going wrong all the time and we lose ourselves and become compressed or something.

The much taller blonde diva let out another sigh and started laughing.

Summer Rae: Ok, we are not having a mid-life... “christis” Sasha. And I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely not depressed. We’re just in the process of getting back on track. It’s time we bring some of the attention back to us.

Sasha Banks: I agree. We can start tonight. Since we’re going against the Bella Twins and Torrie Wilson. I think they’re combined ages are over 100 years.

Summer Rae: No, that’s probably their combined weight. Torrie Wilson is probably close to a century old just by herself.

Sasha Banks: How much is a century again?

Summer shook her head and guided Sasha along as they started walking again.

Summer Rae: Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about them. If Torrie got pregnant right now, she’d probably give birth to a full grown adult before she keeled over and died or something.

Sasha Banks: Her hips would probably shatter too! Omg. You’re right boo, we don’t need to worry about them at all!

Summer nodded her head in agreement with her partner.

Summer: Exactly, they're all old and brittle. Especially Torrie, who got lucky with winning the number one contendership, but her luck is about to run out. We have a mission to carry out, and that is ridding this place of the "has beens", such as Torrie Wilson! Like we said when we first got here, out with the old and in with the new. I mean, they just sit around and collect a check, demanding the world on a silver platter, and spreading whatever infectious diseases they have this month around. It's time to put down these old glory hounds that are sucking the Divas division dry.

Sasha: They're like Old Yellow! Take him out back and shoot him.

Summer: Old Yeller, you mean?

Sasha: Tuh, that's what I said, Summer! Gosh! I sure hope we don't get scabies if one of them happens to bite us.

Sasha obviously meant to say Rabies, but Summer shook her head and declined to comment on her mistake.

Summer: I mean it's not like the Fella twins are going to be any competition. Brie is all tied up with Michelle McCool and Nikki... well Nikki is like the Velvet Sky of the Beautiful People. Completely useless!

Sasha: Uh, formerly known as the Beautiful People. Don't forget, we broke 'em up!

Summer: Very true, Sasha. One of our finest moments together as a team! In fact, Nikki might even be worse than Vel-Vel. At least Velvet has tried to make a career here for herself, Nikki has yet to do ANYTHING. I can give credit where credit is due and I have to admit that Nikki is a little uglier than Velvet, if that were even possible. With her witch nose and man jaw line... I mean fake boobs don't fix ugly, am I right?

Sasha and Summer laughed amongst one another. Michael Cole rounded the corner and was on his way towards them. Both Divas rolled their eyes in annoyance. Before Michael Cole could open his mouth to speak, Summer spoke up to cut him off.

Summer: Noooo!

Michael Cole: Uh... no what?

Summer: No interviews, Cole. You don't get to just speak with the Mean Girls without an appointment. As if we have time to waste on you right before we go out there and kick some ring rat ass here in Brooklyn, New York! Now, get lost, Cole. Go play in traffic or something.

Sasha: E'zactly. Put an egg in your shoe and BEAT IT!

Sasha and Summer did their signature snap together and laughed as they walked off down the hallway, heading towards the Gorilla before their match was scheduled to start.

[Ashlee]

mid life christis hahahaha