We Are One

[Ben M]

Just when it had seemed as though “Team Barrett” had the advantage going into Survivor Series, the tables had turned and the momentum was with “Team Punk”. The shock of Sting returning to EBWF, along with the surprise arrival of Dean Ambrose, had completed CM Punk’s five-man team, and Wade Barrett now considered Punk’s team far more of a threat than he had done when the Straight Edge Savior’s only recruits were Sami Zayn and Enzo Amore. However, determined to maintain his position as the charismatic leader of men, Barrett issued a rallying cry as he and his team walked through the curtain after Barrett’s lumberjack match with CM Punk.

Wade Barrett: Ryback, Daniel, Justin, Tyler… right now, CM Punk thinks he has us right where he wants us, but let me assure the four of you, this is far from over. Punk’s team is nothing more than a series of individuals, but the five of us… we are one! And we’ll show the world that on Sunday!

There was a general murmur of approval from the rest of Team Barrett before Daniel Bryan, Justin Gabriel and Tyler Breeze all went their separate ways, leaving Barrett alone with Ryback. Ryback was staring at Barrett intently, and now that it was just the two of them, Barrett could feel Ryback’s eyes burning a hole in him.

Wade Barrett: What?

Ryback’s chest was heaving as he inhaled , profuse beads of sweat ran down his shaved head, his jaw was tight. as were his fists. He carefully leaned in and looked at his team’s captain.

Ryback: What. The. Hell. Was that all about! How did they got that clown in their team? What about that other Psycho? You just used me as a human shield and attempt to bail!?!?!

Barrett frowned at Ryback, then shrugged nonchalantly, as if to suggest that he was unfazed by Punk’s new recruits.

Wade Barrett: Clearly Punk has called in a few favours, but don’t worry about it. We’ve still got this. As for me attempting to bail, I don’t know what you’re talking about…

Ryback: That clown freak just swung at my face, and you… No, the whole team let him? I want to see that loser try to go one on one against me without his stupid bat.

Wade Barrett: I didn’t let anyone do anything, Ryan. In case you didn’t notice, I was trying to get a weapon from under the ring to even things up when Ambrose blindsided me. You want Sting all to yourself, without his bat? I promise you, on Sunday, he’s all yours.

Barrett grinned, trying to keep his volatile partner on board.

Ryback: You better give me that Sting guy... I want to make him pay! My jaw is still hurting and eating meat like this is a pain in the ass... Somebody’s gotta pay for it and if it’s not him and his team of losers... Someone’s got to pay the… What’s his name? He wears a kilt and shouts a lot.

Before Barrett could remind Ryback who “Rowdy” Roddy Piper was, the two men were interrupted by Jonathan Coachman.

Jonathan Coachman: Wade, Ryback! Can I ask you a few questions about what happened tonight?

Wade Barrett: Coach? You’re still employed? I thought you’d been given your pink slip years ago.

Ryback: How many times I have to tell you… Da Big Guy only does interviews with that cute ass blondie!

Wade Barrett: Ryback! Show Jonathan some respect. This is probably the first EBWF.net exclusive he’s had all year… Ask away, Coach.

Jonathan Coachman: Well Wade, Ryback… firstly I’d like to hear your thoughts on CM Punk’s two new recruits, Sting and Dean Ambrose?

Ryback: Thoughts? Thoughts? Who in their five senses grabs a bat and swings it at another man’s face just out of the blue huh? You wanna hear my thoughts, Coach? I think I don’t give a damn if Sting shows me his AARP card on Sunday night… I am going to hit him with something much harder than a bat, I am going to swing both of my meathooks at him, and make him change his stupid face paint to red! I will decimate him, I will decimate every single one of those puny team Punk members until he is the only member left… Then I am going to make him suffer, I am going to make him bleed, I am going to shame him in front of everyone! Schtoopid Clown! Schootped! SCHTOOPED!

Ryback paced in the back of the scene, repeating those same words over and over again, beating his own skull with both hands.

Wade Barrett: It’s okay, Ryback… it’s okay. You’ll get your revenge on Sunday. Coach, I think Ryback has made his thoughts about Sting perfectly clear. The only thing I have to add is that Sting is a coward. He proved that by bring a weapon with him. And Dean Ambrose is a coward too, otherwise he wouldn’t have sneak-attacked me like he did out there. But there will be no room for cowardice at Survivor Series, Coach, let me assure you of that. Ryback and I will face Sting, Ambrose and the rest of Team Punk like men… and not only that, we will prove that we’re the better men, when we emerge as the victors.

Jonathan Coachman: Speaking of the rest of Team Punk, Wade, I’d like to ask you about Enzo Amore, who attacked you last week on Warfare. How are you feeling about that attack? Will you be looking for revenge when you face Enzo on Sunday?

Barrett laughed dismissively at the mention of Enzo Amore.

Wade Barrett: To be honest with you, Coach, I haven’t really given much thought to Enzo Amore. He showed himself to be a coward - he attacked me from behind, so he’ll fit in well with the rest of Team Punk - but really, I find it hard to take him seriously. I can beat him to a pulp without even breaking a sweat.

Jonathan Coachman: What about the Intercontinental Champion, Sami Zayn? Do you take him seriously?

Ryback: Who? That dancing ginger hairy leprechaun from the Lucky Charms? HA! HA! HA! How can you take a cereal box character seriously? I know his kind! Jumping weak losers who can’t even lift! He’s going to be the least of our problems! In fact, I don’t think the whole Team Punk weighs as much as I do! HA! HA! HA!

Team Barrett: Well there’s a reason we call you “The Big Guy”, Ryback. All joking aside though Coach, Zayn has been on an impressive run recently, there’s no doubt bout that. But Ryback has a point - he’s weak. He can easily be overpowered by Ryback and I. We can soften him up, then let Daniel Bryan wear him down with his technical prowess. And finally, we can let Justin Gabriel and Tyler Breeze finish him off with their superior speed. I might even let Tyler take one of his signature selfies as he gets the three count on Zayn. That’s the thing about Team Ryback, Coach. We all have our own strengths, and we can work together to maximise those strengths.

Jonathan Coachman: Are you saying Team Punk can’t work together?

Wade Barrett: I’m saying they won’t, because they’re all in it for themselves. CM Punk is an egomaniac. He says he’s the Best in the World, but it’s a lonely world Punk must live in, because his only friend is Colt Cabana… and to be honest with you Coach, I think deep down Colt secretly hates him too. Punk manages to alienate everyone he meets, by being so arrogant all the time. When he’s given a microphone, he sounds like a broken record; he just goes on, and on, and on… He practically had to beg people to join his team, whereas I’ve had people lining up to be part of Team Barrett. Punk might think that Sting and Ambrose are his trump card, but Sting is about twenty years past his prime, and Ambrose is nothing more than a snot-nosed, self-proclaimed one-man revolution. Well Dean, let me tell you something - your revolution is a joke. And your return to the EBWF will be too when I hit you full force in the face with the Bull Hammer, and replace that sadistic look you wear on your face with a look of pain. Mark my words, Coach, every member of Team Punk will be going into Survivor Series thinking about how they can use their match for their own personal gain. Team Barrett aren’t like that. I’ve selected men that either I’ve worked with before, and I know I can trust them, or like-minded individuals who follow my lead when it comes to despatching CM Punk. We will work as one on Sunday, and we will emerge victorious.

Jonathan Coachman: Ryback, do you have anything to add?

Ryback: Team Punk don’t weigh as much as I do! They need to get on a protein diet badly! Their biggest gun is a clown with a bat! HA! HA HA!

Barrett looked at Ryback and shook his head with disdain. Coachman found it hard to suppress a smirk.

Jonathan Coachman: Wade, Ryback, thank you for your time, and good luck on Sunday.

Coachman walked away as Barrett and Ryback continued discussing strategy.