Make Believe

[D.J]

I It had been a whirlwind couple of weeks for fans of the EBWF. Just when everyone thought that they had a handle on the way things were going, and what to expect. Solomon Crowe walks into Survivor Series and shocks the world by becoming the new EBWF Champion. Just a week prior another event sent shock waves through the EBWF Universe, and that was the return of the "People's Champion" The Rock coming out and promptly Rock Bottoming Ted DiBiase after he had dropped a match to Adam Rose. The Rock proclaimed that he was in fact done with movies for the time being, and would be back wrestling full time for the EBWF. His first match back would be, appropriately against Ted DiBiase this coming week on Warfare. Folks may not know just what to expect, but one thing is for sure, when The Rock is around it's never boring.

The scene opened up at a house show in Boston, Massachusetts fans were buzzing from the previous action, when all of a sudden a scene popped up on the titan torn. We quickly zoomed into the scene, we were outside of a Newbury Comics, as people walked by on the street. The camera quickly cut inside the comic book shop, and there were two adolescent males having what seems to be a heated discussion. The first boy, Jimmy, was heavyset with brown hair and glasses. He wore a plain black t-shirt that was about a size too small for him. His friend, Ryan, was the exact opposite build. He looked as though he needed to gain about 20 pounds just to look skinny. He wore the same t-shirt Skeeter Valentine wore on popular cartoon "Doug." As the camera got closer we could hear the two guys talking.

Jimmy: I just.. I just can't believe it. I can't believe John Cena isn't the champion anymore. Like Solomon Crowe? Really? How could he lose to Solomon Crowe?

Ryan: Solomon Crowe is pretty dank dude.

Jimmy: Do you even know what dank means, Ryan?

Ryan: Yeah it means like.. scary or something.

Jimmy: That's not at all what it means.

Ryan: Either way, Solomon Crowe is awesome man. I knew he'd win.

Jimmy looked flabbergasted

Jimmy: There's no way you knew he'd wi..

Ryan wouldn't even let him finish.

Ryan: I did so.. remember I said it the other day when we were playing WOW.

Jimmy: Which day was that, we literally play WOW every day.

The EBWF crowd could be heard erupting as The People's Champ, The Rock walked into frame and stood behind the two geeks, unbeknown to them. He wore a black tank top that read "I Bring It" and black and white track pants. He wore sunglasses indoors because.. well.. he's The Rock.

Ryan: It was Tuesday.. I think.

The Rock mockingly nodded towards Jimmy as if to say "Yeah it was Tuesday, duh."

Jimmy: No.. Tuesday you had a dentist appointment, remember.

The Rock looked back at Ryan and shook his head in a comical way as if to say "how could you forget that?"

Ryan: True, then it was Wednesday.

The Rock nodded again at Jimmy.

Jimmy: Wednesday I had band practice for 3 hours, so it couldn't have bee..

The Rock had had enough.

The Rock: Oh it doesn't matter what day it was, you played WOW Tuesday, you played it Wednesday, you played with each other on Thursday, you play with yourself on Friday.. shut your mouths you're making the Rock sick.

The two guys were startled and were in awe that The Rock was standing behind them. Neither one of them could get any words out initially. Ryan went to say something finally, but The Rock put a hand in his face which again got a pop from the non visible crowd.

The Rock: No.. no.. no.. you two jabroni's have spoken enough.. The Rock is going to have to go Gwen Stefani on you, when he tells you..

The Rock began to sing.

The Rock: Don't speak.. I know what you're thinking.. hmmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm..

Clearly The Rock didn't know all the lyrics.

The Rock: I know you're gooood.. I know you're good...

Jimmy joined in.

Jimmy: I know you're real goooood!

The Rock smiled.

The Rock: Yeah.. there you go... give me some la la's. LAA LAA LAA LAAA..

Jimmy and Ryan did as they were told.

Jimmy and Ryan: LAAA LAA LAAA LAAA

The Rock: Don'tttt... donnn'ttttt...

The Rock was smiling nodding as they sang, poorly I might add, the end of "Don't Speak." The Rock's smile quickly disappeared and The Rock raised the back of his hand to the kids which made Ryan fall over he flinched so hard. Which got a reaction from the crowd.

The Rock: LA LA your asses on out of here.

Jimmy still stood tall but The Rock took one half step towards him, and that was all it took. Jimmy too was gone. The Rock cocked his head from watching Jimmy exit the scene to the camera. The scene quickly panned back to the arena where we could still see The Rock on the titan tron. The crowd was going bananas for The Rock.. B-A-N-A-N-A-S... ok I'll stop. A "Rocky" chant broke out, and there were several beats, before the scene cut back into the Newbury Comics.

The Rock: Years have gone by, months, weeks, days, minutes, seconds. Have ticked by, day in and day out. Night in and night out. EBWF, trucking along still the number one company in sports entertainment. New guys stepping in, a new breed, a new stable of superstars. Guys like John Cena..

There was a mixed, but mostly positive pop for Cena.

The Rock: Dolph Ziggler, Bray Wyatt, The Miz, the list goes on and on. Each one of those superstars different than the last. Cena with his t-shirts and his "tale of two cities" monologues, Dolph Ziggler coming around shaking his ass like a bleach blonde Chip N' Dale dancer. Bray Wyatt, speaking in riddles and sweating on people, The Miz.. The Miz...

The Rock paused he couldn't think of anything.

The Rock: The Miz.. doing absolutely nothing and wanting a cookie for it.

The crowd laughed and cheered.

The Rock: All these new superstars, all so different, but it's not all different. Oh NO NO NO NO! You see the one thing that they all have in common is that they shuttered.. oh yes they shuttered.. when they heard The Rock 2 weeks ago in that very ring, cock his head back just like this.

The Rock cocked his head back.

The Rock: They shuttered when they saw The Rock take off his electrifying 800 dollar sunglasses, just like he's doing now.

The Rock took off the sunglasses.

The Rock: They ALLL shuttered when The Rock uttered the words that they hoped they'd never again hear.. they SHUTTERED when The Rock said FINALLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY....

The crowd exploded with cheers.

The Rock: The Rock HAS COME BACKKKKKKK...

Some of the crowd yelled out "To Boston" clearly they were drunk and didn't listen to the set up.

The Rock: TO THE EBWF...

More cheers. Another "Rocky chant" was heard throughout the TD Garden. Rock put his sunglasses back on.

The Rock: You see in all this time, guys in this company have startled to settle in. They've started to get comfy. They've started to feel all warm and toasty like they were sitting by the fire place in their Boston Celtics snuggy watching the tube. You see each and every one of these guys feel as though they've made it. They have grown to be content, NOTHING could go wrong.. it's clear that what each and every one of these guys needs is a kick in the ass.. and quite frankly there's only one man to give them all that kick.. and that one man... is The Rock.

The crowd cheered loudly.

The Rock: Now as The Rock listened, listened to Bert and Ernie earlier right here in this comic book shop talk about John Cena and Solomon Crowe, and that Solomon Crowe is the new EBWF champion, it hit The Rock right then and there that this was the right move to make. It become CRYSTAL clear that The Rock wanted no he NEEDED to come back and lay the smack down once more.. and lay the smack down The Rock shall! Starting on Monday Night.. with Ted DiBiase...

The crowd booed at the mention of Ted DiBiase.

The Rock: You see last time The Rock saw Ted DiBiase he was running is mouth to The Rock. Asking the Rock what he was doing in the ring, talking trash to The Rock.. and we all remember what happened next.. WHAM Rock Bottom. Moral of the story is that you, Ted DiBiase do not ASK The Rock what he's doing in the ring.. you, Ted DiBiase, ask The Rock if it is OK with him if YOU can stay in the ring.. and then maybe just MAYBE The Rock wouldn't have dropped your monkey ass in front of the entire EBWF universe and all The Rocks fans.

The crowd cheered as The Rock looked directly into the camera speaking seemingly right to Ted DiBiase.

The Rock: Now Ted DiBiase you may be asking yourself, what's the Rock doing at a comic book shop? You may be asking yourself, why The Rock was eavesdropping on two Harry Potter fanboy virgins, you may be asking yourself why the other guys snicker at you in the shower.

The crowd laughed, and another "Rocky" chant broke out as The Rock maintained a straight face, as was his way.

The Rock: To the third question The Rock says, next time you're in there...

The Rock adjusted his track pants.

The Rock: Take a look arounndddddddd. To the other two questions, The Rock says this, The Rock wanted to come to a place of fantasy. The Rock wanted to come to a place filled with books, and stories of far away lands, of made up characters, of pretend hero's and heroines. The Rock wanted to read about mystery, about surprise, about wonder. The Rock wanted to basically go to the land of make believe, because then Ted, maybe JUST MAYBE The Rock would understand what it was like to see the world through your eyes, because the fact of the matter is this, there is noone.. AND THE ROCK MEANS...

Crowd: NOONE

The Rock: That lives in this land of make believe more than you do Ted. You see as The Rock has sat back in his mansion of a home on his million dollar couch, and watched the EBWF. The Rock has seen you come out, night after night, week after week, and say the SAME thing.

The Rock mocked Ted and spoke in a whiny voice.

The Rock: "Now I know.. I've lost each of my last 29 matches... but it's this one.. this one will be different. This is when I turn it around. You see my daddy said that I can be something in this business. My daddy said that if I scowl and look tough, and talk about how I'm going to win then all my dreams are going to come true. He then said if I ever do win a match he'd take me out for ice cream, and I like ice cream.. I love vanilla and chocolate.. I love ice cream with whipped cream with strawberries.. and ESPECIALLY NUTS... I love NUTS the most.. if I could eat one topping and never get sick of it.. it'd definitely be NUTS."

The crowd was laughing and cheering, The Rock remained stone face.

The Rock: Well Ted, The Rock doesn't want to dash your ice cream dream.. he doesn't want to.. bust your nut....

The Rock paused to let that sink in to the crowd who once again gave another huge pop.

The Rock:.. but there's no CHANCE of you beating The Rock this Monday Night.. no chance. And the reason.. the reason Ted... is not because you are a spoiled snot nosed bitch who doesn't belong here, it's not because you bore The Rock's fans to tears every time you speak... those things are true.. but they aren't the reason why, you can't stop The Rock.. the reason Ted quite frankly.. is that you absolutely SUCK. You see Ted, The Rock feels bad for you.. he feels bad that each day that goes by, you have to wake up and be you. The Rock feels bad that each day when you wake up, stretch, and pull your "My Little Pony" sheets off of you to start a new day, that you have to live it as Ted DiBiase. It can't be easy, it's why you make up a different world for yourself Ted. You see Ted, The Rock knows that in your make believe world, Ted DiBiase is a star. In your make believe world people give three drops of monkey piss that you were the longest reigning Path to Crap champion this company has ever seeeeen..

The crowd cheered and laughed, they were loving this promo.

The Rock: YEAH.. in your little make believe world NOBODY snickers at you in the shower.. they nod... impressed... but even.. even.. Ted in your make believe world, even in your comic book fantasies of Ted DiBiase being the hero of the EBWF, even there, no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, no matter how much you try and lie to yourself, you know just like The Rock knows, that with out a shadow of a doubt, there is only one way that a match between Ted DiBiase and the People's Champ The Rock.. ends.. and that Ted, is The Rock whopping your candy ass all over Knoxville on Monday Night.

The crowd cheered once more and a final "Rocky" chant broke out, before The Rock brought it home. The Rock sauntered over to a comic section that featured comics of Superman, Batman, and The Incredible Hulk.

The Rock: So Ted DiBiase, The Rock knows you like living in this fantasy world. So what The Rock wants you to do is call up some of your buddies. Yeah get on your little cell phone and call up Superman.... Ring Ring...

The crowd cheered and laughed.

The Rock: Ring Ring.....

He went into a baritone voice.

The Rock: "Hello this is Superman."

Back to the whiny voice he used earlier for Ted. He would go back and forth with these voices with a beat in between.

The Rock: "Hi Superman it's Ted."........ "Ned?" ..... "No Ted.. DiBiase... from the shower." .... "Oh right Ted from the shower... very impressive in there."

The Rock broke character looked at the camera and shook his head no quickly. Back to his Ted voice.

The Rock: "Thanks... you too.... anyways I need you to round up the gang. Batman.. Hulk.. Wonder Woman.. Green Lantern and whoever else you can think of!"..... "Why for what purpose Ted?".... "You see Monday I have to go up against The Rock, and I'm going to need some help.".... "You're facing The Rock.. while why didn't you say so, I'll gather the group."

The Rock pantomimed Ted hanging up the phone.

The Rock: Yeah there you go Ted, now you got all your little buddies in your land of make believe coming to help you vs. The Rock. You got Superman, you got Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Hulk.. there all coming. There all going to make the trip.. there's just one problem... it won't be enough. You may sit there and think.. that it will be.. you may think that you will prevail.. just as your buddies almost ALWAYS do.. but The Rock has a little dose of reality for you Ted, instead of all your little buddies coming to "SAVE THE DAY" as they so often do, something else is going to happen to them.. something different. You see instead of your little Justice League Fantasy Island ending that you're envisioning, The Rock's got a little ending of his own, and that's The Rock taking his boot..

The crowd cheered they knew where this was going.

The Rock: Throwing a little spit shine on there, and giving it to you Ted.. yeah that's right there you go take The Rock's boot. You got it? Good hold on to it tight, because The Rock wants you to do something extra special with it. Take The Rock's boot Ted.. turn it sideways.. and... give it to Batman.. yeah give it to the Dark Knight and I want you to have the Dark Knight throw it in the bat mobile and gun it.. yeah.. VROOM VROOM.. yeah.. The Rock wants Batman to take that boot and drive it over to the Incredible Hulk. Then The Rock wants the Incredible Hulk to.. stick it...on the table.. yeah right on the table and he wants The Hulk to tie the laces.. yeah tie em all up.. but wait Hulk doesn't know how to tie shoes.. so he gets angry... he turns Green.. GO ON HULK.. turn GREEN.. don't even tie the laces.. just smash through the walls of your house and stomp on over to Superman's house. Give The Rock's boot to Superman, so that he can tie the laces for you. Then The Rock wants Superman to give the boot back to the Rock so that The Rock can take that boot put it back on his foot, and FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET stick it straight up ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL YOUR CANDY ASSESSSSSSSSS!

The crowd cheered and parroted along, as The Rock finished with the line they were waiting for.

The Rock:

IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLALALALALALOW

WHAT THE ROCK

The Rock tipped his sunglasses to his nose and raised one eyebrow. He held this pose and spoke his last words with emotion.

IS COOKIN'

The Rock's music hit in the arena and the crowd gave him a huge ovation, as the next match started at the House Show in Boston.

[Holly]

I really enjoyed this DJ! You had me lol'ing a few times while reading this and I could really see and hear The Rock's voice as I read. I'm really looking forward to seeing what you do with him and how you add you own special, unique DJ-twist to the character! Great job!

[D.J]

Thanks Holly!