QUIET CONTEMPLATION

[Jay]

The room was dimly lit – the only source of light being emitted from a small television. The glare of the screen revealed Dean Ambrose, sat with his head in his hands watching the TV through his fingers.

Dean Ambrose: He’s too weird!

As time passed, the screen revealed numerous scenes involving Brian Kendrick. Matches, promos, vignettes, interviews and various other video segments. A door opened.

Dean Ambrose: He’s too cooky. I hate cooky.

???: Who is?.. Ah.

Dean lowered his head in apparent exasperation.

Dean Ambrose: Well thanks a lot for this tape. Things aren’t gonna be straight forward, are they? Two nutjobs in two weeks. I just want to live a nice, quiet life…

The door closed.

???: You wanna…

Dean Ambrose: No, I don’t want to be interviewed, TODD. And to be honest, I’m starting to feel kind of used by you. You’re abusing my good nature. I’m basically keeping you in a job right now. And what for? TRIPS TO THE ZOO?

The door opened again.

Dean Ambrose: Don’t you dare leave in a heap of sadness.

Todd Grisham: I made a damn tape for you!

Dean Ambrose: Almost like a mixtape. Shit, this is getting weird. Why the hell is this room dark?

A flick of a switch was heard and the room was filled with light. It was a locker room.

Todd Grisham: It did kind of add a tense atmosphere to the room.

Dean Ambrose: What, do you want us to fuck or something, Todd? Jesus. What a horrendous start. No – I don’t want an adventure with the cameraman. And yes – I’ve watched the video and I thank you. Now go away.

Todd Grisham: Well… What did you think of it?

Dean Ambrose: Brian Kendrick was always fantastic in the ring. Now I know he’s a basket case as well? It’s really… sobering.

Todd gasped.

Dean Ambrose: I’m a man of simple pleasures, Todd. I like a stroll outside, a quiet drink and a nice sleep. I repeat that around house shows and TV shows. Occasionally, I take a dump or watch Die Hard. I’m a simple and settled man. And this week, I’m in the ring with Mr Kendrick. I am full of concern.

Todd Grisham: What are your major concerns?

Dean Ambrose: What if he beats me?! I don’t lose much. If Brian Kendrick beats me – then I have to be more like Brian Kendrick. Imagine that! It’d lead me astray…

There was an awkward silence.

Dean Ambrose: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE, TODD?

Todd Grisham: You’re perplexing me.

Dean Ambrose: Someone’s been reading dictionaries.

Todd Grisham: You… honestly don’t think you can hang with Brian Kendrick?

Dean stood up.

Dean Ambrose: I wouldn’t want to! Think of what a Kendrick lifestyle would do to my organs! He’s reckless, Grisham! He’s unstable! He’s off the rails! A screw loose! You see – I liken myself to Dean Malenko. I go in there, wrestle and leave. I might have to go to another place to match Brian…

Dean turned around. His expression turned to one of disgust when he was confronted by Todd Grisham and… a cameraman.

Dean Ambrose: YOU WERE FILMING ALL THAT?!

Dean stormed towards the camera and got right into the lens.

Dean Ambrose: IF I COULD EXECUTE A BEAUTIFUL SUPERKICK I WOULD RIGHT NOW. ON BOTH OF YOU! OF COURSE I’M GOING TO ANNIHALATE BRIAN KENDRICK. AND I’M GOING TO HAVE FUN DOING IT!

He backed off.

Dean Ambrose: Sometimes you just have to get into the mind of somebody you’re not, and imagine what life would be like… Fortunately, I love crazy. It’s wonderful. Dammit Todd – the mood lighting really did help. I became somebody else for a moment. And it SUCKED.

He started pacing back and forth, as usual.

Dean Ambrose: It’s a shame… It’s a damn shame…

He halted.

Dean Ambrose: Putting the old dog out of his misery.

He turned to the camera again.

Dean Ambrose: THE MICHAEL JORDAN OF OLD DOGS!

He looked puzzled.

Dean Ambrose: …or not. Okay. Brian – let’s make a deal, okay? You might not be in a good place right now. In fact, I have no idea what’s going on with you. But I know what you love, and that is wrestling. And dare I say… a good brawl? Let’s have one. Let’s show everybody why I’m awesome now – and why you’ve always been awesome. See, Todd?

He pushed past the camera and Grisham.

Dean Ambrose: I’m a fucking delight.

The scene faded.