Thy kingdom never comes

[Benjamin]

**The scene opens backstage outside of a locker room. The camera zooms in on the plaque mounted on the door and it reads “House Syxx” with a giant green six ball plated with gold. The camera then panned out to see a very large hooded man dressed almost exclusively in black. The man then lifted his hood and revealed his vaguely familiar face adorned with shoulder length raven black hair and a very well manscaped beard. As the camera continues to pan out it became clear that the man was Seven, the hand of House Syxx. Seven is standing next to Syxx is dressed to compete but covered in a royal looking black, gold, and green cape with his omnipresent bandana.**

Seven: My name is Seven of House Syxx, first of my name, hand of Lord Syxx. I stand before you to interview my lord because I am the only one qualified to conduct such endeavors.

Syxx: Well that and the cute blonde chick was unavailable, fuck Matt Striker.

Seven: Well there is that.

Syxx: Oh yeah and our own cute blonde chick is busy. She is sending a raven to notify all the high lords of my victory in the King of the Ring tournament.

Seven: Respectfully, my lord, you have not yet competed in your first match in the tournament.

Syxx: I know that, but do you know how fucking slow a raven travels!? By the time my message arrives I will have already won the tournament! I knew I should have sent that shit FedEx Express!

Seven: Digressing, do you have any thoughts on your opponent tonight Seth Rollins?

Syxx: Who?

Seven: Grease monkey 2.0.

Syxx: Oh the only dude on the roster that makes me look like I have clean hair?

Seven: The agent of the fall.

Syxx: No I think he is off that kick now. Do I have any thoughts on him? Well sure. He’s basically Syxx lite. He ripped off my factions. He stole my hair. He stole my “DGAF” beard. He stole my weird gyrations. He even stole my receding hairline. His entire career is based on his best impersonation of me and quite frankly he sucks at it. Talented kid, but he needs to find his own way. Believe that.

Seven: So what will you do once you become king?

Syxx: It’s my favorite time of the year again. King of the Ring, what a joke. I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: There is no king because there is no kingdom to be had. Every year we do this same old “dog and pony show” and every year it’s the same result. Some wannabe manages to sneak past me and some phony puts on a cheap little head piece and calls himself a king. These men could not preside over a flock of geese, let alone rule a kingdom. To do so takes real power, real knowledge, real capability, and those are all things that Seth Rollins lacks.

**Just then the door opens and Symphony appears from behind it.**

Syxx: My lady, what brings you to this engagement?

Symphony: You spoke of knowledge and capability, my lord. It appears ravens these days lack the knowledge and the capability to properly carry a message from our locker room to the production truck.

Syxx: What!? Did you feed them?

Symphony: Yes. Once in the morning, and once this evening.

Syxx: What purpose does a raven serve if not to carry a scroll from one land to another!? Cut it Seven, let me call FedEx back!

Seven: I can just walk the message up to…

Syxx: CUT IT!!

**The scene fades.**