Straight Outta Edges (Snatched)

[Kamden]

Present Day...

Sasha Banks, along with the rest of the EBWF and its followers, had been long awaiting Summerslam. Today would be host to one of the company’s biggest events, and The Mean Girls (sans Stacy Keibler) would get to be a part of it! Eva Marie, Summer Rae, and Sasha Banks continued to cause trouble for the past few months, Stacy joining the ride along the way. Needless to say, new chapters would be written at Summerslam, not only for themselves, but for their opponents. Win or lose, rain or shine, stank or skank, the Mean Girls goal was to make sure no matter what, they would continue to maintain their presence in the women’s division by living up to their name.

Tonight, the Head BOSS In Charge did not have any plans on flopping when she was just about to add on to her reign, for a BOSS should never simply stumble across the finish line. They should charge right through. And for Sasha, snatching Brie Bella bald wouldn’t even be a pit stop. All she’d need to do is hit cruise control and let the road run its course. Or something like that. Whatever the metaphor was supposed to be.

However, BOSSton’s Baddest preferred to speak more directly, and not beat around the bush with such bougie, decorative wordplay. Instead, Sasha would much rather tell it like it is and not mince her words. Luckily the EBWF Universe would get to see this in action as Banks was set for a pre-show interview with none other than… Todd Grisham. Cameras were rolling and the two could be seen standing together, Sasha on the right and Grisham on the left. Grisham was as usual in a simple yet professional looking dark suit with a solid colored tie (rather fashionable according to Sasha). Banks was all did up in her shiny new wrestling gear. the latest version black and white. Red shutter shades were pushed to the top of her head, and of course BOSS bling rings, a matching necklace and the women’s title added more gold to the get up.

Todd Grisham: Summerslam is nearing its kickoff and things keep getting better folks. I’d like to go ahead and introduce my guest now, Sasha--

Sasha Banks: Introduce? Tuh. Like these people don’t know me, Todd. We’re in JERSEY. A plane ride away from BOSTON. Don’t play me or my people for a fool boo boo. Or we’ll fix you up like you’re broken.

Todd laughed nervously and forced a smile.

Todd Grisham: It’s great having you here, Sasha. We’re together now because tonight, in the co-main event, you will be defending the women’s title against Brie Bella! This will be the second time this year you two will face off.

Sasha Banks: I don’t see how you can be so excited Todd. Maybe it’s ‘cuz this is big news for her, but it’s old news for me. All of us have seen this before!! No one cares about Brie Brie’s third chance at making a fool of herself. Two times by yours truly counting tonight. All she’s good for is calling people stupid and a hoe, and boo boo, Nicki Minaj did it first. And she made a song out of it… So you stink. Just sayin’.

Todd Grisham: Still no love lost. I’m sure this will come out in your defense tonight. As you know Sasha, the Jersey crowd here and everyone watching at home have some questions.

Sasha Banks: Ask me a question, Todd.

Todd remained silent, and looked at Sasha with a deadpan look. He even held the microphone in Sasha’s direction. Sasha looked annoyed and held her hands out to her side.

Sasha Banks: Umm, what are you doing? You’re supposed to ask me somethin’.

Todd looked surprised.

Todd Grisham: Oh… this is usually the part you take the microphone and-- nevermind… this actually goes with what I wanted to ask first. In recent weeks we’ve heard little from you with regards to this match, and in general. What can we attribute that to? Is it all part of a plan of some sort? Maybe a mind game?

Sasha Banks: A plan for what? To beat Brie? If I could I would laugh, but I might hurt her feelings. I don’t need to play games with Brie because a BOSS doesn’t do child’s play.

Todd Grisham: So what’s this change in attitude we’re seeing? Clearly things have changed. Most notably after Stacy Keibler “slapped you silly”.

The BOSS took a step forward into Todd’s face, but ended up putting her hand in front of it to block him out. She turned away again to face forward.

Sasha Banks: Tuh... Slapped me silly. Look, this “new me” everybody is speaking on isn’t anything different. Ya’ll are actin’ like I’m brand new. This is me. I’ve stayed true to myself this entire time. Just ‘cuz I used to mix up a few words doesn’t mean I’m beneath anyone.

Todd Grisham: That’s not what I meant at all!

Sasha Banks: Oh I know. You wouldn’t try me like that. This might be hard to believe ‘cuz of where I’m at now, but there was a time where nobody believed in me. I continued to believe in myself and do what I needed to do, and didn’t change for no one. Brie Brie is not stayin’ true to herself. Like, she came back claimin’ to be a “bad bitch”. No, boo boo... You’re DOING bad. Brie has been on the hot mess express since before Wrestlemania with her ol’ popped balloon lookin’ self. Do you see how her torso looks shriveled? Maybe it’s ‘cuz she’s vegan, but just because you don’t have meat in your diet doesn’t mean you can’t have meat on your bones…

Todd gave a delayed nod unsure of how to respond.

Todd Grisham: I see a lot of things in my line of work. It’s best to stick to asking questions instead of making comments.

Sasha Banks: Yeah if I was your size I would watch myself too.

Todd Grisham: Since the interview is really focusing on you Sasha... Let’s continue! I’d like to get some thoughts on your match with Brie. What are you feeling? What do you expect to happen?

Sasha Banks: When it comes to this match all bets are off, because there’s only one possible outcome: Brie loses. If I need to spell this out for ya’ll so you can run and tell your bookies, it means the BOSS, Sasha Banks, retains. And you can Bank On That. Tonight, Banks makes a statement. Brie Bella has been tryin’ me all this week. Well lookit BOO BOO. I AM NOT THE ONE. I swear to you I will scalp you and I will enjoy every second of it with no regret. Because you have continued to push me. You have continued to talk smack when you have no place to. You are the bottom of the heap and when it comes down to it, you ain’t worth a penny run over by a train. Brie Bella is just… Worthless! And it’s a waste of all these good people’s time and the BOSS’S time when I have to deal with her little crotchety ass again.

Todd Grisham: Yes, Brie has said a lot about you with regards to your upcoming match.

Sasha smacked her lips and put her hands on her hips, occasionally shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

Sasha Banks: Do you know that feeling you get when you hear a rumor about yourself? You just have to smile and laugh because it’s one of those rumors that’s just soooo crazy you wonder how someone could even come up with it! That’s the type of stuff Brie likes to do. Let me just start from the beginning for ya’ll. Does anyone remember when Brie Brie said I wouldn’t be the Female Wrestler of the Year at the Slammy’s? “Oh Sasha’s only on the ballot ‘cuz she’s the champ.”

She pretended to be Brie by making her voice high-pitched, and scoffed a few times dramatically after the sentence to top it off. In her opinion, it was acting done like a BOSS.

Sasha Banks: Umm…… Hey boo boo. Lookit, I’m female wrestler of the year and STILL the women’s champion!

She patted the belt on her waist daintily, with a pinky up just because she thought that was a bougie thing to do.

Sasha Banks: So not only am I beating Brie Brie in the ring, I’m beating her out of it too. I keep tellin’ everyone, me defeating Brie at Wrestlemania was not a fluke. I am not a flop. But you know who is Todd?!

Todd Grisham: Uhhhh, I’m not too comfortab--

With one quick gesture Sasha silenced Todd, who’s voice faltered.

Sasha Banks: Brie Bella. And she will continue to be.

Sasha was leaning forward slightly, making Todd lean back a bit to keep some distance. Sasha decided to back off and returned to standing straight.

Sasha Banks: And that’s just the beginning, Todd. Like, Brie wants to say that the way I became women’s champion in the first place wasn’t anything big since AJ Lee is a flop. But… Look at how this chick won the Queen of the Ring tournament this year!

Todd Grisham: She defeated Summer Rae fair and square, actually.

Sasha Banks: Can you just shut up please? Let me speak. Tuh. I know what I’m talkin’ about. Yes, she defeated my boo Summer. But for her to get there, she had her sister lie on her back for her an easy win…

The HBIC paused and shook her head, and huffed.

Sasha Banks: That’s so LAME! That’s why Brie is never gonna be champ while I’m holding this belt. Let me break things down. As I will continue to say from now on, Brie Brie is a fake, fraud, and phony. She wanna be a champ so bad and say I’m not worthy, but all she ever did before and after Wrestlemania was just sit on her bony behind and whine about it. Well she finally got up and DID something. She “won” QOTR. You say you're not QOTR by accident or fluke. Well you're damn right. You made it because your sister just… Let you. Isn't it a WEIRD to anyone?! How Brie got by on her first QOTR because Nikki got hurt. And now this time, you get by because Nikki lets you win?? I mean if that's not a fluke then Eva's hair must be blue… Then everybody and their momma wants to say the Mean Girls are gonna break up. I bet your sister must be kinda mad that you keep gettin’ all these shots at her expense and you can’t even do anything with them. Please SWERVE with that mess when you try to diss me. This girl is straight CRAZY. Brie is such a fraud she even tried to say she eliminated me from the Royal Rumble this year when I wasn’t even in it!!! I’ma say it again. FAKE. FRAUD. PHONY. When you start havin’ to make up stuff about people just to try and look good, that’s hella desperate. After all this talking I feel I know why she’s the way she is now.

Todd Grisham: ...Why is that?

Sasha Banks: She’s mad at all the wrong people. Brie, boo boo… Don't be mad at me because you keep losing. Be mad at yourself cuz you're the only one you can blame here. TBH, Brie is so jealous... I’m everything she aspires to be while also bein’ part of a bomb ass team! And they say I can't do anything without my boos. Umm…. BYEEE. I beat her bland ass once without any help and I will do it again. Why don’t Brie go back to being with her sister where she can survive. She’s way nicer too.

Todd Grisham: Hey, at least something positive came out of all of that, right? One simple compliment can go a long way--

Sasha Banks: You’re missin’ the point Todd. It’s never been about bein’ nice. Brie likes to think I make this company look bad, but let’s be real with ourselves… It’s all her. What’s it gonna look like when a “high class, bougie, intelligent, gifted athlete” such as herself loses a title match for the THIRD time in a row! Like, she said Michelle McCool was nothin’ but a hoe, yet she still clocked her. You PREACH the Mean Girls are nothing but bimbos yet we’re out here snatching ya’ll muppets left and right and bein’ the champions of it. Please boo boo, swerve with your nonsense. Look at where you’re at, and look at where Sasha Banks, Eva Marie and Summer Rae are. We on top of this division, not no man.

Todd Grisham: I can’t imagine that you have anything nice to say about anyone at this point, so I’ll just skip the pleasantries.

Sasha Banks: Umm, no need for you’s to be here anymore. I can finish this myself.

With a shooing motion, Sasha had Todd step out. Dismissed. She looked head-on into the camera like a true BOSS.

Sasha Banks: Brie.. Look boo boo. This whole you comin’ after the title story is gettin’ old. As long as I have this belt right here, you have nada, because you’re nothing without it. Maybe you won big a couple of times, but it doesn’t even matter because it’s all ruined if you don’t get the bling.

Sasha unhooked the belt from around her waist and held it up.

Sasha Banks: So as long as you don’t have this around your waist, you will continue to be a non-threat. It’s so dumb for you to think you’re the business around here just because you’ve won a royal rumble and queen of the ring. Maybe it’s two things I’ve never done, but that’s because I am the champ. Something you’ve never done yourself boo boo. And I’m the female wrestler of the year. Also something you’ve never done and I bet you’ll never get to be. Don’t think though that because of that we’re on the same level. It only took me ONE time to become a legit BOSS and champ. You’re going on your third and guess what? You can bet money you’ll be losing again. I needs to know Brie Brie, because I bet a lot of other people are wanting to know too, when are you gonna stop embarrassing yourself?? Give it up already boo. Nicki Minaj said in “Roman’s Revenge” that her rival was mad at her ‘cuz she took the top spot. But if she ain’t doin’ nothin’, then she needs to move out of the way and let someone else take over. So for you Brie, if you’re not doin’ the do, then get off the pot.

Sasha took a deep breath in and exhaled calmly, then looked to her right.

Sasha Banks: Todd?

The camera panned out to reveal Todd still standing nearby. He reluctantly walked back, holding the microphone up to speak. Both Todd and Sasha looked to the camera as he addressed the audience.

Todd Grisham: There ya have it, folks. Be sure to catch Banks in action tonight as she defends the EBWF Women’s championship against Brie Bella for the second time this year.

The HBIC smirked with her chin held up slightly as she flipped her shades down over her eyes, and did the Mean Girls signature snap.

Todd Grisham: King, Jr, back to you!
--------------------

***FLASHBACK***
Tuesday, August 24th 2015

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awHmEWQPDxE

The track to “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” started up, accompanied with a series of short video clips featuring the women’s champion acting out each scene as a verse went by. All the scenes were vocalized by the BOSS herself, Sasha Banks.

“Noooow this is a story all about how I escaped that little one horse town
And I’d like to take a sec,
just sit yourself right there,
I’ll tell ya how I become the BOSS of a town called Bel Air.

In Boston, Massachusetts born and raised
In the salon is where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out, glammin’, my fashion all cool
And gettin’ my nails painted red black and gold
When a couple of tricks started throwin’ a fit!
Started swingin’ fists and ya girl got hit.
I got in one little tussle and my moms got scared…
She said ‘You’re stayin’ with your cousin Hilary in Bel Air.’

I called my limousine and when it came near
The driver rolled down the window and said ‘Yo, Sasha's finally here!’
If anything I could say this ride was on fleek,
I hopped in, told the driver ‘To my cuz’, Hilary!’

I pulled up to the house close to 9
And yelled at my driver tellin’ him “Byeeeeee”
I looked at the crib
I knew I was there
To make money with Hilary and be a BOSS in Bel Air.”

After the theme finished, Sasha Banks went around to the back and pushed open a pristine white gate that revealed the backyard. She rolled her luggage behind her as she walked across to the poolhouse. With a knock on the door using a manicured hand, it promptly swung open and Hilary Banks smiled with sheer joy as she hugged Sasha as tight as possible. Studio clapping was heard at her appearance. Hilary and Sasha both squealed in excitement.

Hilary Banks: Oh my GOSH, I can’t believe you’re here Sasha!

Sasha Banks: Oh my g, I know boo! It’s been too long. We needs to catch up.

Geoffrey Butler, ironically the butler for the Banks’ household, followed up behind with Sasha’s luggage as her and Hilary entered the poolhouse. It had been converted into a home. Hilary and Sasha were looking exceptionally fly. Geoffrey noticed this and complimented them.

Geoffrey Butler: Why, you’re looking exceptional this evening, young ladies.

Sasha went to hug Geoffrey, who stiffened upon contact, failing to return the gesture. He wasn’t one for pleasantries.

Geoffrey Butler: Well of course I’ve got a sense of fashion. I wear a tuxedo every day. Not to mention I’ve met the ever popular Ms. Banks.

Hilary Banks: Oh Geoffrey, stop with the flattery!

Geoffrey Butler: Oh, I wasn’t referring to you Ms. Banks. I was speaking of Ms. TYRA Banks.

Hilary rolled her eyes.

Sasha Banks: You were a model?

Geoffrey Butler: Some days I wish I were.

He shot a glance at the camera and walked out, back to the mansion. There was studio laughing as he made his exit.

Sasha Banks: What’s his problem?

Hilary Banks: Umm, I don’t know, he’s bald?

Sasha nodded in agreement and followed Hilary into the mansion, where Uncle Philip Banks and Will Smith were chatting. When they saw Sasha they both went to hug her and were happy to see her.

Will Smith: What’s up Sasha! Still thuggin’ I hope back in B-Town.

Sasha Banks: Boy you already know! I’m still a BOSS as usual!

She pointed to her white “Legit #BOSS” t shirt, which was tucked into a pair of black leather jeggings. She also wore red pumps. Hilary complemented her in an all red business outfit and matching heels.

Hilary Banks: Daddy, can I have five hundred dollars?

Philip looked at his daughter with a concerned look.

Uncle Phil: I thought I just gave you money to go shopping for that board meeting.

Hilary Banks: Oh yeah, you did. I just want five hundred dollars.

Will Smith: Hilary, do you even know what you can buy with half a g?

Hilary turned to Sasha and she shrugged, not really sure what that could buy either.

Will Smith: Yeah, Sasha, don’t ever lend Hilary money. She can’t even do basic math.

Hilary Banks: Umm, I don’t need alge-bro to be a weather lady. What were you, born yesterday? Ugh.

Sasha did the mean girls snap and Hilary held out her hand to the side for Sasha to high five. The dynamic duo left the kitchen and hopped on the couch where Sasha pulled out her iPhone 6 plus.

Hilary Banks: Oh my God!

Sasha looked up to her cousin who had stood back up in a flash, holding her hands to her face.

Sasha Banks: What?!

Hilary Banks: Is that a gold iPhone 6 plus?!

Sasha smiled big and patted the cushion beside her. Hilary sat down again and pulled her own gold iPhone 6 plus out of her blazer pocket.

Sasha and Hilary Banks: TWINS!

Hilary Banks: Sash… We have soooo much to catch up on!

Sasha Banks: Ummm yeah we do, hold up and I’ll explain it everything that’s gone down!

Sasha turned her attention to her phone and began furiously tapping with both thumbs at the screen. Hilary grabbed a Vogue Magazine off the coffee table and sat back as she began thumbing through it. The screen immediately went black with the caption “10 Minutes Later”.

Hilary slapped her knee and looked away from her phone over to Sasha wide-eyed.

Hilary Banks: Are you serious?! Brie Bella won Queen of the ring AGAIN?!

Sasha shook her head as Will came into the room, followed by Carlton Banks. Will went behind the sofa the two girls were sitting on and tried looking at their phones to see what they were talking about, while Carlton went upstairs in a hurry.

Sasha Banks: Yes Hilary. I can’t believe it. I was so angered.

Hilary Banks: This angers me too, Sasha! Ugh!

In a whiny tone Will piped in.

Will Smith: I know I’m soooo upset right now like oh my gosh babe!

Hilary Banks: Will, this is serious, I mean, look who Sasha is up against AGAIN!

She showed him a picture of Brie and he scratched his head.

Will Smith: So?

Sasha Banks: So?! This is the second time I have to face her! She somehow beat my best friend Summer. She probably farted in her face or something. Tuh.

Hilary Banks: Right. Summer is so posh. She shouldn’t lose to anyone.

Will plucked the phone out of Hilary’s hand and squinted at the screen.

Will Smith: Oooooooh wait, is this that chick that you beat at Wrestlemania Sasha?

Sasha Banks: Bet it was.

Carlton’s head popped out from around the corner at the top of the staircase.

Carlton Banks: Wait, you have to face Brie Bella again? You know what I have to say about that?

He stomped all the way down the stairs, accidentally stumbling on the very last one and bumping into Will, who grabbed him and stood him straight.

Will Smith: Carlton man, you know you gotta be more careful. If you break your legs you lose an extra two feet. And as short as you are, you need’em…

Hilary laughed while Sasha continued to look at Carlton, waiting for his statement.

Sasha Banks: What do you have to say, Carlton?!

Carlton Banks: You’re obviously going to defeat Brie Bella again. You’ve already defeated her once, so odds are you will again. And you can BANKS on that. Get it? Get it? Huh??

He gave a nerdy laugh and snort as he did the classic Carlton dance out of the room. Will shook his head and flipped the baseball cap on his head backwards.

Will Smith: Psssssh. Man, Carlton’s right though Sasha, you don’t need to worry about her. You beat’em once, you beat’em twice. Look-- I got a plan for you. You don’t even gotta do much. Just write this down and say it, aight?

He took the pen that happened to be on his ear and took Hilary’s magazine out of her hand. He wrote something on the cover and read it out loud before handing it over to Sasha.

Will Smith: If Brie wants to talk smack on my cousin, you tell her Will Smith said to “shut her ol' potato peel lookin’ self up.”

Hilary Banks: Oh my gosh Will, that’s so rude!

Hilary looked devastated, clutching a hand to her chest. Much like Sasha would at a time like this.

Hilary Banks: But true…

Cue studio laughter.

Sasha took a picture of the quote and placed the mag back on the coffee table. Will hopped over the sofa and sat next to Hilary.

Will Smith: So Sasha is still the champ, huh? It’s good things they’re doin’ over in EBWF. It’s hard enough being a minority. But you’re a female in a male dominated sport and STILL pullin’ it? That’s some true work right there, cuz.

Hilary Banks: I thought Sasha was a wrestler.

Sasha snapped her head to look at Hilary. Will scratched at his head pretending he didn’t hear anything.

Sasha Banks: Umm… I am, Hil’.

Hilary Banks: But wrestling isn’t a sport. Duh. Everyone knows that.

She sat back and laughed as if they knew what she was talking about. Sasha looked highly offended.

Sasha Banks: What do you mean wrestling isn’t a sport?!

Hilary Banks: Wrestling isn’t a sport, Sasha. It’s so obvious. It’s a lifestyle. I mean, don’t you have to drive or fly everywhere every other day? And meet with all kinds of people and exercise and do interviews? There’s no way it’s JUST a sport!

Will Smith: Phew!

Will wiped at his forehead and Sasha patted Hilary’s arm, happy by what she said.

Sasha Banks: Oh my G Hil, don’t do that ever again!

Hilary looked to both her cousins clearly confused.

Hilary Banks: Do what?

Will and Sasha laughed as the scene faded out to black for the “commercial break”.
***

The Mean Girls, Eva Marie, Summer Rae, and Sasha Banks were all cozied up in the back of a limousine. Red and Gold sat on either side of the women’s champion with their tag team titles in their laps. Sasha’s belt was on her lap as well. She was holding her phone for her besties as they finished watching the video.

Summer Rae: I can’t believe you got to meet Will Smith!

Eva Marie: I’m amazed. Full celeb status.

Sasha Banks: Thanks boos! It was amazing meeting with those three. Karyn Parsons still looks as beautiful as ever. And you know Will Smith is still hella fine.

Eva nodded her head in agreement as Summer asked Sasha a question.

Summer Rae: So what’s this have to do with your interview today?

Sasha Banks: Oh! So you remember how Will had mentioned being a minority in wrestling? And female at that? I’m gonna discuss that a little bit, and just talk about where I’m from, and also the attitude change. I’ll text ya’ll when it’s on YouTube!

Everyone clapped together excitedly. The limo came slowed to a stop and Sasha turned to face her besties as they shared a group hug. Sasha unlocked the door and it was opened by a man from the outside. Once she stepped out, she turned to wave one last time at Summer and Eva as the scene faded out while she headed into a tall white building.
***

A Few Moments Later...

A brief video preceded the beginning of the interview, narrated by an unnamed woman, with an occasional quote from Sasha Banks.

At 7 months of being the BOSS of the EBWF women’s division. Sasha Banks, Boston’s Baddest, was not about to stop there.

“If anyone expects me to make it this far only for me to fail, they’ve got another thing comin’.”

If you had asked Sasha Banks what being a BOSS was all about “pre-Stacy slap” on her timeline of success since becoming EBWF women’s champion, she would have told you

“Being a BOSS is Being Original, Strong, and Smart.”

And that was true. Sasha Banks lived and worked the life of a BOSS to a tee. If you asked today what being a “BOSS” is, she’d tell you

“Being a BOSS is being Built on Self-Success.”

That was also true-- of both Sasha’s.

“When it came to the big ones-- the title defenses-- I had to make sure I proved to everyone that I wasn’t just some flunky that depended on her pack of friends to get a job done. I’m Sasha Banks. I’m a BOSS. I’m a leader. I take care of business, and no one’s been able to shut me down yet. And it definitely ain’t gonna be Brie Bella that ends my train of success.”
***

The now familiar voice that narrated the opening dialogue had a face. Her long blonde hair was down and she was smiling brightly.

Kristine Leahy: It’s great to finally get another Boston girl on set! We have a lot of Yankees come through, but definitely not enough Boston Elite.

Cameras were rolling in the NBC Burbank Studios, recording the ongoing interview between Chicago-Native sports broadcaster Kristine Leahy and Boston-born Sasha Banks. Banks immediately caught on to her hosts rep of her hometown.

Sasha Banks: See, Boston is just that good. You didn’t even grow up there yet you love it!

Kristine Leahy: I did my homework so I could stay on your good side.

Sasha Banks: Don’t cross the boss, right?

Kristine Leahy: Right! I wouldn’t. I had to turn down Ronda Rousey for an interview because I knew she could beat me up, so I knew I could invite you.

Sasha’s expression went from cheerful to disgusted in 0.2 seconds. She sat up straighter in her chair and even leaned forward slightly, looking Leahy straight on.

Sasha Banks: Excuse me? So what, you’re saying I can’t beat you up?

Leahy laughed and stroked at her blonde hair uneasily.

Kristine Leahy: Of course not, I bet you would take my numbers and run.

Sasha started to laugh too, going back to her previously cheerful demeanor.

Sasha Banks: I was just kidding girl. Don’t worry, I’m not that bad. If anything, as a Boston girl? I’ve got your back!

Kristine Leahy: Okay, I’m really happy to hear that, because I think Ronda Rousey’s got me on her hit list now. I was just kidding too, by the way!

She looked to the camera and waved, whispering “Sorry Ronda Rousey!”

Sasha Banks: You know, I’m happy you mentioned doing your homework before we met today. It’s professional. It just reminds me of the time my upcoming opponent Brie Bella went to some wannabe radio station that claimed to not know me. Like, I don’t get how some bum host doesn’t know the star of the EBWF women’s wrestling division, but would know a no-name nobody like Brie Bella.

Kristine Leahy: Sasha, I’m gonna be honest with you... I can’t comment on that.

Sasha Banks: That’s ok. You’re pro. And that’s what a BOSS looks for. You’re a reflection of what you surround yourself with. So if you hang around with professionals, you’re gonna be a BOSS. If you hang around flops like Brie Bella does, then guess what? You’s gonna be a flop.

Kristine Leahy: Those are fighting words Sasha. Are you sure you want to go this way already? We’ve just kicked things off!

Leahy gave a laugh again. Sasha wasn’t smiling. She was sitting calmly in her seat with her hands upon her armrests like a true BOSS. She shrugged and looked indifferent.

Sasha Banks: I don’t care if they’re fighting words. Brie Bella and I are about to fight so it makes sense. If she gets all huffed up over this stuff I’m sayin’ right now, well hunty.. You’ve got another storm comin’. Tuh. I don’t play with my words boo, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. So if it makes you uncomfortable let me go ahead and apologize to you now.

Kristine Leahy: No no, by all means keep it up. I love it. It’s not too often we get an athlete from the wrestling industry here, so I relish every second.

Sasha Banks: I’m glad we’re on the same level then!

Kristine Leahy: Going back to the wrestling industry-- I wanted to talk about why you’re here. On August 31st, the EBWF is hosting its annual Summerslam pay-per-view, where Sasha Banks and Brie Bella will be co-main-eventing in a EBWF Women’s Championship match. This will be Banks’ 3rd title defense since Wrestlemania 14, where she successfully retained against Brie Bella. As the faces of women’s wrestling, all focus will be on Banks and Bri--

Sasha Banks: Hold up.

Sasha put a hand up like it would’ve stopped Leahy from talking. She scooted forward in her chair.

Sasha Banks: You mean she got to you too with all that “I’m the face of this division” mess? Mmm…. Kristine, I thought we were gonna get along, boo boo. Nope. I was dead wrong.

Kristine Leahy: She has taken out two of the Mean Girls, the crew you’re a part of.

Sasha gasped and clutched a hand to her chest, clearly offended. She laughed out loud and became overly excited.

Sasha Banks: Did you forreal just claim that Brie Bella TOOK OUT Summer Rae and Eva Marie? I knew Brie had jokes but OMG Kristine, I guess you got some too. Where’s Ashton Kutcher ‘cuz I must be gettin’ Punk’d.

Banks actually looked around the room waiting, but rolled her eyes seconds later and piped down.

Sasha Banks: Brie is so funny. We girls are just fine. We’re all still standing ‘cuz “Queen” Brie ain’t done jack. All this hot air she's out there blowin' gettin' heated over the Mean Girls? Amazing. It's good to know we get to her. Honestly boo boo, Brie is so full of jokes. I don’t see why she ain’t a comedian since she continues to be the punchline in my second opportunity to school her bougie ass. She is more successful as a joke than she is a wrestler. Bri Bri claims to be doing sooooo much good for the women of EBWF but she barely been doin’ anything. Like, she didn’t show her face after Wrestlemania until the Queen of the Ring tournament in June. Which was two months after that big ol’ loss of hers to MOI. So tell me how this chick is gonna be the “face of the division” when she been hiding under the covers cryin’ for two months? You make zero sense tryna sit here and tell ME that Brie is a face of the EBWF women when I am the champion, and Eva and Summer are too. Ummm… Naw boo boo. I’ve been out and about way longer soakin’ up that spotlight and makin’ a name for myself.

Kristine was also leaning slightly forward in her seat, listening intently to the BOSS as she spoke. She was expecting Banks to continue but was surprised with the gesture Sasha made. She held a hand up questioningly.

Sasha Banks: Hello? Are you still here? Proceed.

Kristine nodded and realized the atmosphere had took a turn for the worse. But with keen journalism skills she chose to pry further.

Kristine Leahy: I want to return to the fact that Brie DID defeat two of the Mean Girls posse, your friends Eva Marie and Summer Rae. That has to give her some of the upper hand going into Summerslam. Taking out two of your clique and leaving only one standing? And then you have Stacy Keibler who’s attempted to take the team out from the inside.

Sasha Banks: Tuh. There you go again. People choose to dwell on the unimportant things and that’s what makes no difference. Yes, as you’ve said twice now Kristine, Brie did defeat Eva and Summer. And Stacy tried to ruin us? What?! By slappin’ me?! SWERVE. Do you know what I have to say to that?.......

“So.”

With a shrug the self-proclaimed Head Boss in Charge carried on.

Sasha Banks: How does Brie know that we didn’t plan for Summer or Eva to flop? Brie and her twin Nikki planned for the flop of the year to let Brie advance in the Queen of the Ring tournament. How about this is the Mean Girls letting Brie gain all this false confidence? We let her win so that when she stepped in my square again she would feel as strong as ever when she’s still nothin’ but a F-L-O-P. Because this tower of mine ain’t fallin’, and Brie Bella won’t be the one knockin’ it over if it EVER falls down. She is the bug and I’m gonna be the windshield. After I’m done we’ll just scrape her off my extra shiny self and it’s on to the next one. Honestly, there needs to be a rule that after three strikes, you’re out. Tuh. As for Stacy… She real slick. But she ain’t the real problem here.

After twirling a bit of her hair in her hand Sasha once again made herself comfortable and rested both hands upon her armrests. Kristine again nodded and made sure to carry on the flow of the interview.

Kristine Leahy: Let’s take all that’s been said so far and transition into the world of women in sports in general. It’s clear that both you and Brie are passionate about what you do. I’d say the last 2 or 3 years has ushered in a new era of women in sports. We have several female athletes becoming the figureheads of many sports generally dominated or by males. Ronda Rousey has taken the UFC by storm in the world of MMA with her undefeated record, the U.S. Women’s National soccer team is the 2015 FIFA World cup Champions, Serena Williams won Wimbledon 2015. Women’s wrestling has also seen a shift while it’s being taken much more seriously. With a thriving women’s roster in the EBWF, the company you’re working for is definitely a contender in the wrestling world, especially when it comes to the ladies.

Sasha Banks: Tuh. A “contender”. You mean we’re definitely the best. Even though they look like freaks, Paige and Becky Lynch have gone all over the world showing us that women can hang with the guys when it comes to wrestling. They’re international divas. Nicole Ikeda is like the hot topic right now while she’s playing a big role against her own brother Wes, who happens to own the EBWF. If that doesn’t scream that girls do run the world, I don’t know what does. And of course you have some amazing tag teams like the Mean GIRLS, and even Emma who has formed some interesting partnerships with Becky Lynch and Alexa Bliss. She’s bad too-- like in the good way. Some women just do it better than men.

Leahy smiled before sharing her next bit of input, which only made Sasha roll her eyes.

Kristine Leahy: And you’ve also got a two-time Queen of the Ring winner and 1x Women’s Royal Rumble winner, Brie Bella. That’s unheard of across any other brands.

Sasha Banks: Yeah and I’m the women’s champion. So that just takes the cake Ms. Thing.

Kristine Leahy: I think I can live with that. When it comes to wrestling, what do you have to say about yourself compared to some of the other women? Past and present from all across the board?

Sasha Banks: When people look at me, I’m not the stereotypical female wrestler you would think of. I’m not even like what you would see back in the day before I even got started. I’ve got burgundy hair, gold chains and rings, and shutter shades. Everything I choose for myself is BIG because that’s what I like to do, big things. Usually people want blonde chicks in bikinis fighting in a jello pool. That’s backyard wrestling. What we do in the EBWF is professional. It’s kind of disgusting that women still get so much hate for being in a “man’s sport” when we’re playing on the same level, if not a better level, than the men are. And then there even hateful people that degrade men AND women alike because of ethnicity. Like, Serena and Venus Williams have some many haters out there, calling them the N-word or even saying that they look masculine because they’re in shape. Maybe the people that wanna come and talk trash about us women are just insecure because we’re doing better than them, and see us as a threat. That dusty old man on the news that said Serena looked like an ape doesn’t appear to be in shape himself. Williams is stronger than him, just like all of us ladies in wrestling, so he tries to bully women to feel stronger and feel like a man again. I don’t care what fans are tryna say, the ladies are taking over and we aren’t all about some bikinis and fake nails. Some of us can choose to wear that stuff but we do just as much work as these BOYS and that’s that.

Kristine Leahy: So would you say that female wrestlers are more about the sport now?

Sasha Banks: OMG, does Donald Trump where a toupee? OBVIOUSLY. Tuh. It is amazing. This was a long time ago, where I had a match against Natalya. She is a former women’s champion and diva’s tag team champion and is the poster child of growing up wrestling. For our match she had an interview and mentioned something about how she was furious over having to degrade herself in a “paddle on a pole” match. Even though match was a random stipulation we were told ahead of time that’s what it would be. When I got to watch that interview at that time I didn’t play it off as so, but she did mention that she knew deep down I wasn’t happy with it either. She was right. That’s not wrestling. A paddle on a pole is like having a jello pool fight. And sometimes it’s just part of what the business is. However…. If I’m asked to do something, BET I’ll do it, and BET I do it with 110 percent effort. That’s not somethin’ my upcoming opponent would choose to do like a professional. I just love getting down and doing the wrestling. Like everybody else does or should be. Except maybe Brie Brie.

Kristine Leahy: Why do you say that?

Sasha Banks: She’s more concerned with making her TV appearances and promoting herself. All she wanna mention is that her and her sister are nominated for something, or are on a magazine cover and that makes Brie, not even her twin, the best for the women’s division.

Sasha huffed and made air quotes.

Sasha Banks: Mhmm. Promoting “the company”. There’s been plenty of other women to say this before about her, like Michelle McCool and Summer Rae--

Kristine Leahy: Wait wait wait... those aren’t the most credible sources… McCool is currently listed as an alumni on the EBWF roster page, so she isn’t even active at the moment, and Summer Rae is your best friend.

Smacking her lips loudly and sucking on her teeth, Sasha shook her head vigorously.

Sasha Banks: Did I ask you?! Do you want me to verify things for you? Because that’s what I’m about to do. A BOSS always comes prepared.

Kristine Leahy: Please do. That’s what we’re here for. Answers.

Sasha Banks: Anyways, before you rudely interrupted me, I was saying that she’s more concerned with anything but the actual wrestling. LOOK at her time here in the EBWF going all the way back to Wrestlemania this year when I snatched her bald in front of the entire world. Brie wasn’t in one match after that until Queen of the Ring. And lookit, she came back to win it again. But when she loses and becomes obscure again like the completely irrelevant, triflin’ trick she is, she just takes a vacation. Tuh. If she don’t wanna face the challenge of bein’ a loser how does she expect to handle walkin’ around with a target on her back bein’ the women’s champion?

Kristine Leahy: I don’t think any of this has been validated seeing as you walk around with a two of your best friends doing as you please, even if that means costing someone else a match in order to get what you want.

Sasha Banks: You are so irksome. You were supposed to be all cool Kristi. I don’t know what turned you off but let me set you straight.

The HBIC stood from her seat and walked over to the sports journalist, who held her ground, remaining seated but unmoving as Sasha approached her. She even got in Leahy’s face and occasionally jabbed a finger into her chest, and pointed at her own.

Sasha Banks: I am Sasha Banks. I am a BOSS. I can do bad all by myself. While I’d LOVE to have my boos Summer Rae and Eva Marie with me, this little match with Brie is somethin’ I’m gonna handle myself just like last time.

Sasha stood up straight and chuckled.

Sasha Banks: Tuh. I don’t need help proving she just sucks. She can take care of that herself. And you and her are gonna watch me prove that again.

With the signature Mean Girls snap across her body, she gave a little wave and said a mellow “byeeeeeeee” as she walked off the set out of camera shot. Kristine Leahy was left in her chair calmly, with a sassy smile on her face. She leaned forward to face the cameras once more as the screen caption for her segment appeared below her at the bottom of the screen.

Kristine Leahy: If you’re left wondering what’s going to happen with Boston’s Baddest Sasha Banks, you can order the EBWF Summerslam pay-per-view through your local cable or satellite provider. Make sure you also give the women’s champ a listen on Steve Austin’s upcoming episode of his podcast, “The Steve Austin Show- Unleashed”, on Thursday.Thanks for viewing the latest edition of “Eyes On Entertainment”. I’m Kristine Leahy, and this is NBC 5 news.

The producer called for a cut and we could see Sasha standing just behind the cameras as Kristine stood from her chair and passed her cue cards off to a crew member, while she made her way back behind all the video equipment.

Kristine Leahy: That was great! People will love this. It’s not every day we get a wrestler, especially a woman, if we ever do get any.

Mercedes Kaestner-Varnado: That’s amazing! I’m so sorry if I was too mean. Sometimes you just get into it and the words won’t stop coming.

Kristine Leahy: No way! That was a lot of fun. They basically told me to roll with the punches, and I’m used to it since I’d been doing a lot of work on American Ninja warriors. They’re pretty brutal there sometimes, so it keeps me on my toes. All of this went really well. This’ll air later tonight at the end of the newscast and it’ll be on the NBC YouTube channel, too! So make sure you catch it some time.

Mercedes Kaestner-Varnado: ...I want this to go viral.

Kristine looked to Mercedes and shrugged.

Kristine Leahy: I don’t see why it can’t. You’re a boss.

After giving each other a high five, both women could been seen walking off together, continuing to chat. The scene faded out.
------------------------------------

Thursday, August 27th, 2015

It’s a very sunny, very hot, and very hazy afternoon as usual somewhere south of San Antonio in Tilden, Texas. Luckily, Sasha Banks got to beat the heat, sitting inside an air conditioned room within Broken Skull Ranch, owned by none other than Stone Cold Steve Austin. For miles only dry brushland could be seen with the occasional wildlife popping out from any source of shade. While the outside seemed to be a lonely, barren wasteland, the very room she was in was lavishly decorated with trophy heads of deer, a fireplace and bear skin rug, and a mahogany wood table complete with matching chairs where two individuals sat: The “Rattlesnake” and The “BOSS”. Both were set up with their proper audio equipment and were prepared to record for “The Steve Austin Show - Unleashed”.

Steve Austin: Whaddya think? They hook me up good here. Beautiful day for shootin’ the breeze, huh?

Sasha Banks: It’s not exactly my cup of tea, but it’s definitely stylish. I love it.

Steve Austin: Ha! I think the place in Los Angeles would be more your thing. Kristen has emasculated me to no end. Speaking of which - HERSHEY! MOOLAH!

They both waited for a few moments as Austin looked awkwardly at the door. Eventually, two dogs slowly made their way into the room.

Steve Austin: Say hello to Sasha, kids.

The two dogs immediately laid down in a corner of the room.

Steve Austin: They’ll be helping us out today.

Sasha Banks: Aww, I’m glad they could make it! I’ve always wanted to meet them in person.

Steve Austin: Well they’re a bit tired out today - we were huntin’ all mornin’. Sorry I couldn’t take you around the place. We’ve gotta shoot some promo material for the Broken Skull Challenge later on. I moved it forward just so I could interview you today. I know it’s a busy week for all you guys and gals at EBWF but I had to get you in somehow.

Sasha Banks: I knew you couldn’t pass me up Steve! I was kind of surprised though considering your reputation with bosses.

Steve Austin: Well you’re the good kind of boss. Makin’ money and kickin’ ass. My kinda gal. Shall we?

Austin nodded towards his producer, who was in a production booth to one side of the room. She gave him a point and a nod.

Steve Austin: We are back with the EBWF Women’s Champion and in my opinion one of the hottest talents in the world of professional wrestling right now. Sasha Banks, how’re you today?

Sasha Banks: I’m feeling great Steve, how about you?

Steve Austin: You know me Sasha just happy to be out in the good ol’ open country with my dogs and a nice cold can of beer. Swig of beer for the workin’ man and woman.

He took a big audible drink of his beer, which had been ready for him on the table.

Steve Austin: Let’s cut to the chase. It’s a big week in EBWF. Things are hotting up. It’s Summerslam this Sunday. How is the woman at the top of the mountain in the world of women’s wrestling feeling right now as we take in the heat here at the Broken Skull Ranch? Physically and mentally?

Sasha Banks: If anything I’m bringing the heat here, so you know I’m at my absolute best right now.

Steve Austin: Now, some of you listening may be wondering if this really is Sasha Banks on the show. In the past week we’ve snuck a few glimpses of a whole new Sasha Banks. And all it took was a slap? If you slap me will I no longer be a dumb Texas redneck?

Sasha Banks: If you’re asking me to slap you I can’t be held responsible for what happens!

Steve Austin: But what has happened? Since we first saw you on television we’ve been treated to trash talking, hair flipping and general bitchy behavior with a hint of stupidity. Now we’re seeing a straight up badass with a real cunning mean streak. Where has this come from?

Sasha Banks: The word on the street is Stacy Keibler smacked the stupid out of me. But the real story behind that was it just wasn’t fitting with everything I was doing in the ring. Outside of those ropes I would be someone halfway to illiteracy, but would still tear you up in the ring. It was contradicting. So now I’m aiming to be just as much of a boss backstage and in interviews as I am in matches, and carry myself just as well while speaking as I do while wrestling.

Steve Austin: I like that. That’s the right attitude. When it comes to this business you have to have both confidence and the ability to back that confidence up - otherwise you just get lost in the shuffle. Even when I was the Ringmaster I knew I could carry myself as someone you could rely on between those ropes - and look where it got me. You’ve got this attitude and you’re already a star - so sky’s the limit if you’ll excuse the pun. Now this is the first time me and you have got to sit down and really get to know each other, and I haven’t seen many other interviews with you prior to this. Are there people who have mistaken you for the character you’ve been playing on screen? I’m talking fans or otherwise unable to see beyond what’s going on on-screen.

Sasha Banks: Somehow yeah, people have me confused with the person I’ve been since I started in the EBWF. A person will come up to me and be like, “Hey, can you read this?” And I’m just like, um…. Yeah. “Obviously”. And they’re so shocked to hear me speak like a normal person. Or just hear me speaking correctly. I remember this one time at a signing session, a fan came up to the table with a list of math problems. Like, basic math, and asked me if I could fill it out for him. He didn’t even want an autograph!

Austin laughed.

Steve Austin: Well maybe he was thinking a properly solved math equation from the one and only Sasha Banks would go for more on eBay than a run of the mill autograph!

Sasha Banks: Between you and me… I’m not that great at math either way, so maybe that’s one thing I have in common with my on-screen self.

Steve Austin: You and me both. So how did you maintain the act every single day? I can’t even begin to imagine playing a character every day when I leave the ranch. It was easy being Stone Cold in the Attitude Era. People expected me to flip people off and drink beer, and that’s what I enjoyed doing anyway.

Sasha Banks: I feel like what a lot of people don’t know is that it’s actually pretty hard playing dumb like that. It’s not as simple as just not knowing what you’re talking about… Because then you’d have nothing to say. So I usually had to plan ahead on what I was going say in a scene. Most of the time what I did was write out what I wanted to say the correct way, then pick out certain pieces and change words I knew I could mispronounce. A lot of words I used I chose specifically to mess up. There were times I’d even go to a thesaurus or dictionary to exchange one word for another just to get the right slip-up.

Steve Austin: You should’ve just let me write the bits. There would’ve been enough screw-ups to have you in the hall of fame by now.

It was now Sasha’s turn to laugh.

Sasha Banks: Umm... Wow! I don’t even know what to say to that Steve… No comment. Maybe one day all of our mess-ups will make some type of hall of fame!

Steve Austin: Maybe if Comedy Central have one. So basically, you trained yourself to be some kind of method actor?

Sasha Banks: Yeah! That’s a good way to describe it.

Steve Austin: Now that is awesome. It’s good to see talent in the modern era really taking their character seriously. Nowadays you get a lot of guys and gals who go out there with their given ring name and play the part of a wrestler, or sports entertainer. You living the gimmick is a real throwback to the territory days, but with a modern twist in that you’re as relevant as can be. I like that a lot. Another point to your character is that you’re a heel. Now, this ain’t a slight on any of the companies, but right now there seems to be a lot more heels than babyfaces. Off the top of my head, in the EBWF, I can think of two through-and-through babyfaces - Sami Zayn and Dean Ambrose. I put it down to a higher degree of badassery under the Ikeda umbrella over the years, but from a booking standpoint it must be difficult pitting heel vs heel so much. Now you go up against Brie Bella at Summerslam, another who is currently working heel. What’s the story behind that?

Sasha Banks: I agree that having a heel against another heel is more difficult. That’s another reason behind my change of character. Last time I defended the women’s title against Brie, she was face. And the time before that when she had her match with McCool, she was also face. With Brie attempting to portray a heel this time around it would be a little bit more dynamically challenging to play off each other. But now that we’ve both switched things up, it should make for some super build-up leading to Summerslam.

Steve Austin: Would you say that in these times where it is so difficult to be a true babyface - Brie has failed on occasion to be that old school good guy fan favourite?

Sasha Banks: In my opinion it’s kind of hard to say. I haven’t seen much of Brie being a babyface, especially since our match at Wrestlemania. And now she’s a heel and it still hasn’t been much time either. Since I’ve been with the company there’s been a lot of gaps in Brie’s timeline, so even trying to choose anything worth analyzing besides winning the Women’s Royal Rumble and Queen of the Ring the last two years is hard, too.


Steve Austin: So what you’re saying is that Brie has been given the ball on many occasions but failed to run with it? Don’t hold back now!

Sasha Banks: You probably said it nicer than I would have. Yes, she’s dropped the ball a few times. It’s weird to me that one of her number one things she has to say about not only me, but all of the Mean Girls, including Summer Rae and Eva, is that we and others are undeserving of shots. Yet she’s had so many! It’s just ironic to me. Someone who has won two Queen of the Ring tournaments and a Royal Rumble, but has never successfully won the women’s championship… Is still deserving of more chances?

Steve Austin: I get where you’re coming from.

Sasha Banks: To me, that’s not even the most buggy part of it all. What gets me most is when she goes on saying that we sleep around to get to where we are. It’s one thing to call each other hoes and all that, because we all do it. Your girl is guilty of that. But to go and say we sleep with people above us in the company just so we get to where we are now is bull. There are women in our division that are in relationships with top stars or even management that aren’t champions. They don’t get special treatment. So for Brie to say that is just as big a diss to these other women as it is to me, Eva and Summer. If she thinks she’s being a martyr by saying that, she’s not. In character or not, it’s disrespectful.

Steve Austin: See that’s all nonsense to me. I don’t recall ever being part of a locker room with so many women - especially one’s who were being given a proper platform to perform. In my era it was all tits and ass, if you’ll pardon my French, and there wasn’t much real competition. So this is all very interesting for me. There’s a lot of bitching then? Some serious low blows by the sound of it?

Sasha Banks: Sometimes it goes that way, but it’s all part of the competition. Because we’re all fighting for this top spot, we’re gonna resort to anything we need to in order to stand out. Even if that means some people throwing the other girls under the bus.

Steve Austin: Let’s cut to it, and give me it straight here - is there legit heat between you and Brie Bella?

Sasha Banks: If there is I don’t have any clue about it. We’ve barely spoken to each other.

Steve Austin: So it’s just your typical unreliable gossip site nonsense?

Sasha Banks: You know how it can be Steve. People always looking for something to talk about and all that. It’s nothing new.

Steve Austin: So this is all kayfabe - I’m glad! This is why none of us older guys read any of that TMZ or other nonsense. Waste of time. And given that there is no real beef between the two of you behind the scenes it should make for the best match possible between the two of you. Now tell me - what does the EBWF Women’s Championship mean to you?

Sasha Banks: It’s so much more than just the name that comes with it. For me it’s like a physical way of representing everything I’ve done to get to be champion. And not even just me, but all the other women who have held the title before me. All of their work and dedication is a part of the championship.

Steve Austin: That’s refreshing to hear. You get the sense that a lot of cats nowadays think that the title makes the star, when in reality it is the star who makes the championship. A lot of title runs nowadays end suddenly because the holder thinks they’ve made it now and there’s nothing to improve on. You come across as someone who is constantly bettering themselves for the good of the company and for the championship. And in an age where women’s wrestling is so important… I see you defending that title a lot more than the men’s world champions. Would you say you’re a better champion than Dolph Ziggler? Your belt seems to be the main belt defended on pay-per-views lately.

Sasha Banks: You just love to stir the pot! I’m gonna be real. I don’t know that people can compare these two titles. A lot of it comes down to how things are booked. So when you say that the women’s title has been the main thing defended at pay-per-views, you have to look at what’s been going on in the men’s division at the same time. With Dolph Ziggler and Wes and Brock Lesnar, that seems to be the main focus right now and it’s going to lead up to something great. And between the men’s and women’s divisions things can be booked way differently. There’s just a lot of things that go into determining who is the better champion. And looking at just one thing to pick who the better champ may be? It can’t be that easy. Just like being a champion isn’t easy.

Steve Austin: I’m afraid I disagree. The title should always be a focus. Isn’t that what every wrestler should be aiming for? And if the champion is in a program where the title isn’t being defended, should the title not be moved elsewhere to create more interest as opposed to just being a prop for a supposed top guy? Anyway, that’s just my two cents. I’m proud of you for the way you carry yourself as champion and what you have added to that title. That’s all I’m getting at.

Sasha Banks: You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t say what’s on your mind, so it’s all gucci Steve!

Steve Austin: It’s all what?

Sasha Banks: Umm… Gucci? Versace? Prada?

Steve Austin: Kristen is always mentioning those names. I assumed they were dogs she met while walking the kids.

Sasha Banks: What?!

They shared an awkward stare, which was followed by laughter.

Steve Austin: So moving away from the squared circle for a moment. Now that we’re getting to know a whole different side of Sasha Banks - tell me about your athletic background. Is this all you’ve ever known or have you been involved in other sporting activities?

Sasha Banks: Well I did start wrestling by the time I was 16, and had my first official match at 18, so wrestling is the only thing I’ve always stuck with! But in junior high I was in every sport there was to be… Including football.

Steve Austin: No way!

Sasha Banks: Yep, I played with the boys.

Steve Austin: Haha now that doesn’t surprise me. A tough gal like yourself ought to be able to hang with the guys and have some fun dishin’ out the hits. Maybe you and Dolph should have a unification match!

Sasha Banks: Hey I don’t have a problem with that! I’m down for that challenge.

Steve Austin: But you’re an athletic cat and that’s awesome. I’ve always thought that makes for a better wrestler - having a physical background. You stand out as the fighter of the Mean Girls - but I understand that outside the ring you girls are anything but mean. Am I right?

Sasha Banks: So right! Summer and I have hit up a couple of elementary schools to promote anti-bullying and also literacy. I know that’s ironic… But it was a lot of fun! And recently I had the opportunity for another visit with some wonderful children at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Ohio. I know this week that Eva led an aerobics class at a rehab facility for the elderly when we were in Toronto. And of course we always try to have our fan sessions before showtime where we can meet our people face to face!

Steve Austin: That’s great. As much of a badass cat as Wes Ikeda is, he’s always got great avenues set up with charities and community outreach. I’m glad you’re into all that. So the on-screen personas are so far from reality, you heard it here first on the Steve Austin Show. Now, back to business. This Sunday at Summerslam - Brie Bella vs Sasha Banks. The Queen of the Ring vs The Boss of the EBWF. Why don’t you hit our listeners with some badassery. And of course Brie Bella will be listening to this - so deliver your message. To the fans and to Brie. A final word, if you will.

Sasha Banks: You all know Brie isn’t taking the time out of her day to listen to me. She should be out there getting ready for round 2 of the boss beatdown. No matter what she’s gonna try to say about me it won’t even matter, because I’m way up at the top... And she’s at the bottom.

Steve Austin: And that’s the bottom line!

Sasha Banks: Because the BOSS said so!

Steve Austin: Haha! You’re one of the only people I’m cool with doing that. Well I’d like to thank Sasha for coming into the ranch and speaking to me today. I can’t wait for Summerslam this Sunday and imparticular seeing my girl the Boss here kicking ass and taking names. We’ll have to have you back sometime - it’s been good talking to you!

Sasha Banks: I’m glad I got to be here! I’d love to come back. This was a blast.

Austin nodded towards his producer and the ‘on-air’ light went out. Austin stood up and stretched.

Steve Austin: You know it’s a good interview when you’re in a complete state of relax. Good job I didn’t have more beer.

Sasha removed the headset on her ears, placing them on the table.

Sasha Banks: “Good job you didn’t have more beer”?! It kinda sounds like you’ve had enough for you and me both.

Steve Austin: But seriously - I’m pulling for you. You’re the perfect mix of the old and new school. Bridging the gap, if you will. Keep doing what you’re doing and they won't be talking about ol’ Stone Cold. They’ll be talking about the Boss.

Sasha did the unthinkable and approached Steve, wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

Sasha Banks: Awww. Thank you Steve! That means a lot coming from you.

They shook hands.

Steve Austin: Now I’ve got some Broken Skull Challenge bits to film. You can make yourself at home here on the ranch but I’m sure you’re a busy gal. And you’re welcome back any time. You and Kristen can talk about all that expensive shit.

Sasha Banks: I'll have to take you guys up on that offer some time.

After that the two could be seen keeping up with small talk as Austin went to show her out.
***