Dean's Big Moment

[Jay]

"JONATHAN COACHMAN"

The air in the TD Garden was suddenly tense. Some would say you could cut the tension with a knife - but that statement has never made sense because tension is not bread.

Jonathan Coachman turned around. He looked down the narrow corridor, and his eyes found a man looking towards the ground. His off-white vest and scruffy jeans suggested a homeless man had wandered in. He dramatically looked up, and met eyes with the Coach.

Jonathan Coachman: ...Ambrose.

Dean suddenly marched towards Coachman. The two came face to face - Ambrose looking intense and Coachman looking as cool as any man has ever looked, with a slight smug grin on his face.

Dean Ambrose: You. Me. One on one. In front of the camera.

Coachman's smirk grew, and he chuckled to himself.

Jonathan Coachman: Where's Grisham? He's more your level.

Dean's focused gaze did not shift.

Dean Ambrose: I last saw him outside a bar here in Boston. I have not seen him since. You will interview me.

The Coach shook his head, chuckling yet again.

Jonathan Coachman: ...As you wish. BARNABAS!

Coachman clapped. A man came rushing around the corner with a large camera in hand.

Dean Ambrose: Your cameraman is called Barnabus?

Jonathan Coachman: Of course he is. Roll the camera, Barnabas!

The cameraman nodded and hurriedly fiddled with his camera.

Dean Ambrose: ...we're gonna do this in this narrow corridor?

Jonathan Coachman: Of course we are. I'm Jonathan Coachman.

Ambrose suddenly lost all of the confidence he entered the building with. Barnabas was ready and Coachman gave him the nod.

Jonathan Coachman: Here we are in the TD Garden. Monday Night Warfare. I am joined by a fired up Dean Ambrose who has demanded a platform to speak his mind. Dean, what do you have to day?

Dean was almost hyperventilating. He struggled for breath to the point that he had to bend down and get his bearings. He straightened up and took in a deep breath.

Dean Ambrose: SYXX STILL WORKS HERE OH MY GOD THIS IS GOING TO BE EASY I AM THE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPION AND TONIGHT I PROVE WHY I'M A CHAMPION.

He looked like he was going to pass out.

Jonathan Coachman: Speaking of which - where is your championship belt?

It was all too much for Dean.

Dean Ambrose: DON'T KNOW. I WILL BEAT SYXX SEE YOU OUT THERE WILL GIVE IT MY ALL.

And he ran away.

[Ashlee]

I wanted to laugh, so I read this.
You did not disappoint.

Tension is not bread. lmao