“Mankind! Congrats on your hard fought victory over Wade Barrett here tonight, you've certainly been proving yourself week after week, but how do you like your chances heading into Christmas Eve of Destruction in Chicago?”
Mankind stops and looks at the guy in confusion for a moment.
“What about it?”
“Well uh, the card has been announced, you're kicking the show off against Enzo Amore for a shot at becoming the new number one contender for the Breakout Title!”
“...Really?”
The stooge grins, happy to be providing him with new information.
“That's right, so I was wondering if you had anything to-”
He's cut off by Mankind throwing his head back and letting out an ungodly scream of rage. Fuming, he hunches his shoulders, grabbing the poor interview by the shoulders and giving him a couple of hard shakes.
“Are you kidding me?! Breakout Title? Breakout Title! Is this all I mean to THESE people?! They book me in a pay-per-view against a snot nosed Jersey Boy reject, make me open the show yet again and they don't even have the decency to put a title on the line, it's just a number one contender match?! Oh... Oh, oh, oh!”
The poor interviewer is shoved aside and he tries to compose himself but his voice cracks as he speaks up.
“Well... it is a Miracle on 34th Street Fight...”
Mankind was shoving past the goon when those words make him pause. He stands eerily still for a moment before his head slowly turns to look at the young man once more. A wide twisted grin, eye flashing in the light. He finally speaks, starting in almost a whisper.
“Oh... why didn't you say so to begin with?”
Tilting his head to the side, Mankind grabs the mic-jockey and spins, tossing him back down the hall away from him.
“SANTA'S ON HIS WAY, ENZO! HO HO HO!”
He slams through the large double doors, still fuming as he looks around the parking garage. He notices a large tour bus idling nearby and he stalks his way over, the camera crew following right behind him.
“Chicago... I freaking HATE Chicago! Nine hundred and ninety six miles...Fourteen hours by car... Oh I can't WAIT!”
He throws himself onto the bus and there's the sound of a scuffle before the driver comes tumbling out the door followed by the crazy laughter of Mankind. The cameraman jumps up onto the bottom step of the bus, looking up as Mankind climbs in behind the wheel. He looks around a moment, trying to figure out everything one the console before him. Finally he figures out how to put the big bus into drive and it lurches forward. Hitting a few more buttons he manages to release the air brake and turn on the radio, Katy Perry's Roar blasting over the speakers. He cringes at the sound but can't figure out how to turn it off as he starts to take off with the bus, shouting over the song.
“HERE COMES THE PAIN ENZO! HERE COMES THE MONSTER!”
He releases another crazy laugh, leaning back and kicking out, catching the cameraman and knocking him off the bus. The doors close and the camera can just sit there and watch the careening bus take off into the night.
15 Hours Later...
A camera crew is standing outside of the Allstate Arena in Chicago. They've been there for about an hour now, waiting patiently. Suddenly they hear the sound of screeching tires and the camera is turned on just in time to see a familiar bus come careening into the parking lot at the arena. It swerves back and forth a bit as the driver tries to maintain control, aiming right for the crew. It doesn't seem to be slowing down at first but suddenly screaming breaks are heard, a huge cloud of smoke coming off the tires as the bus comes to a bumpy stop right in front of them. The soft sounds of Katy Perry's Firework can be heard over the engine before everything shuts off and the doors open up. Mankind comes stumbling off the bus, looking a bit more crazier than when he left, having developed a slight tick in the form of a twitch by his head.
“I just drove non-stop all the way here in a bus from hell in which some... monster from the deepest, darkest abyss left their Katy Perry mix stuck on repeat....”
He shudders at the mention of it, his head twitching to the side. He tries to shake it off and focus.
“That is just more proof to Enzo and everyone out there that I am willing to put myself through, literally ANYTHING to get what I want. Tonight is the last time I stand for this blatant disrespect by this company! I deserve more than these top of the card matches and simple number one contender shots at the lowest Championships on the totem pole. I am NOT a waste of space! I AM original and I CANNOT be replaced! To put it bluntly... Baby... I'm a FIREWORK!”
He cringes again, muttering angrily to himself, hand pounding on the side of his head as he tries to compose himself.
“ENZO! Get ready! Not only am I going to give you a personal lesson in what a real street fight is, you're gonna hear me ROAR! GOD DAMNIT!”
Mankind shouts out, shoving the camera aside and storming away.