Two gun shots echo as the scene opens to a rural area. You see a barn full of dirt and in terms distance you hear a diesel engine, faint at first but growing in volume as it nears. An like Chevy pickup pulls into the frame puking a trailer filled with a lawnmower, weed eaters, and other lawn equipment. The truck stops and the engine stops as its driver, Jay Briscoe, exits the cab. His brother exits the passenger side and hurries to join.
Jay Briscoe: In case you haven’t heard, there’s been a bit of a talent drought in the EBWF as of late. Now, I didn’t really notice myself. You see, I’m busy out here making an honest damn living, grinding on the road showing anyone who cares what REAL professional wrestling is. Grinding up and down the road, busting my ass to hone my craft and build this business that I love. And by business, I mean the real McCoy; pro rasslin. Not that TLC4, electrified cage, via grade on a pole bulls hit that you’ve been seeing on A&E these days. So it’s no wonder than one day as I’m out mowing grass is get a phone call. And you’ll never believe who’s on the other end. It’s some talent agent with the EBWF saying they need me. Me. Mr. Big Man Briscoe, aka Democrats Boyz, aka Down Since Day One, aka The REAL Best Wrestler on the Planet. Now at first I ain’t believed it. I thought maybe Otis down the road was pulling a fast one on your boy here. But then the contract arrived and I thought to myself, “Shit, they really dun messed up now. Do they really understand what it means when Jay Briscoe comes to town? Don’t they realize that this is the same Jay Briscoe who put a wrench in their King Of The Rings plans in 2014 when I eliminated Edge in the 2nd round. The same Jay Briscoe that nearly screwed the whole damn thing up and came within a hair of beating their golden boy Cena in the semi finals. The same Jay Briscoe that they had to pull back-and-forth bullshit to get me out the door before I caused more havoc.
You see, if there’s something you should know about me, it’s that I don’t necessarily fit the norm of what Corporate America thinks an employee should look like. Vince MacMahon said it best when he said I wasn’t “cosmetically pleasing” enough. And at the time, that really pissed me off. At the time, I got a little red and did some things I probably shouldn’t have done. But now…. Shit, I wear that as a badge of honor. Because the thing you’ve got to realize is that when Jay Briscoe comes to town, he changes the entire damn game. The EBWF is going to see a side of Jay Briscoe that they ain’t never seen before. I’m going to show these Mackey Mouse Corporate types what real problem wrestling is. And I’m not talking all these bullshit gimmick matches that you saw around Christmas Eve. I keep saying it, but it true: I taking REAL problem wrestling and maybe a ladder war or two mixed in. The day of Briscoe has begun and y’all ain’t even realized it yet. Tell ‘em Chicken.
Mark Briscoe: DEM BOYZ ARE BACK IN THE BUILDING AND AIN’T NONE OF Y’ALL GONNA KNOW WHAT HIT YOU. SYXX, WE COMING FOR YOUR FIRST. YOUR HOUSE OF SYXX CAN’T HOLD UP AGAINST THE BRISCOES. WE GONNA….
Jay Briscoe: House of what?
Mark Briscoe: House of Syxx. It’s this new gimmick he’s running where he’s a Lord or something.
Jay Briscoe: Lord? Like, he’s royal? Did he win the King Of The Ring?
Mark Briscoe: Nope.
Jay Briscoe: Then why the fu…. Ya know what, it don’t eve matter. I guess these days foster gotta do anything to get over these days. You an change your gimmick and running around in frilly little costume all you want, but don’t the I’ve forgotten that it was you who sent directly out the door during my last stint within the company. Doing JerIkeda’s dirty work once again. But then again, that’s nothing new. You’re used to being the little bitch in a group of superiors. You did it back in the day with the Kliq, be it in nWo or DX. Now you’re just falling back into old habits once more. So imagine my happiness when I get word that my first Warfare back is going to give me the opportunity to get payback on you. It ain’t t Main Event this time, but you can bet your bottom dollar I’m going to steal the whole damn show when I get my revenge on you.
2016 marks a new year and age for the EBWF. But for you Syxx, it’s going to be the same old ending. Because come Warefare, I’m gonna beat your ass. But don’t worry, you won’t be the last one. Tell like ‘em Chicken!
Mark Briscoe: WE TAKING YOU DOWN SYXX. AND AFTER MONDAY, WE COMING FOR YOU WHOLE COMPANY! AJ STYLES, KEVIN OWENS, KYLE O’REILLY…..
The younger briscoe brother continues to list off EBWF superstars, but the camera panned away to the sky as generic rock music plays and drowns him out. The screen cuts to an advertisement for the upcoming Warfare show before the YouTube video comes to an end.
OOC: Sorry this wasn't much. It's certainly not the showing items wanted for my return. Work got bus, time got away from me, and now I'm literally writing this on my tablet as we drive back from tonight's Raw. A tablet, mind you that has not yet learned my typing/vernacular so a thousand pardons for any typos due to autocorrect. Good luck to Mr. Nichols