B.A.B.

[Kamden]

January 26th, 2016
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Mercedes Kaestner-Varnado: But I thought you two had HELLA beef!

At the moment, the true self of Sasha Banks was childlishly indulged, like one should be when tea has been spilled.

Rick Ross: Naw, we smashed that. Us people gotta stick togetha, know what I mean?

Mercedes was shaking her head, grinning like a fool. She was too excited. It was her birthday after all, and she just got back in the ring after being MIA for far too long, AND her besties managed to convince Rick Ross to come to the show, and personally tell her happy birthday. But that wasn’t the last of it.

Mercedes Kaestner-Varnado: Don’t play though, you’re serious you can hook me up?

Ricky Rozay shook his head and rubbed his palms together. Smooth like molasses. She idolized him.

Rick Ross: Mhmm. No doubt about it lil mama. You got my word. Just give me a day or two to get things set up.

Mercedes squealed and like a child tried to chest bump the much larger Rick Ross, but pretty much stumbled backwards on the rebound. He definitely was not into pears.

January 28th, 2016
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Mercedes had already flown out to Detroit a couple of days ahead of schedule. earlier that day she had visited the projects with a local charity, and now she was at the gym putting in work. But that came to an end when her phone chimed. She dropped her kettlebells in a heartbeat and scooped her phone off the rack. Her eyes bugged out and she started fanning at herself and even put forth her deep breathing.

Oh my God, this can’t be forreal!

She flicked open the email she just received.

From: Lewis, Cara
To: Mercedes Kaestner-Varnado
Subject: 8 Mile Production Meeting

Ms. Mercedes Kaestner-Varnado

If you don’t know who I am just go ahead and delete this email and block me, because you wouldn’t deserve any time with my client.

I think it’s in Mr. Mathers interest, as well as yours and mine, to go ahead with this plan of yours. It’s good publicity for Marshall, great rep for you, and a nice crossover that’ll contribute to the growing urban scene. It’s time Detroit gets some positive press-- even if it’s for a minute.

Keep in mind we had to squeeze you into our itinerary, and not the other way around, so if you don’t stick with the schedule, I’ll cut you loose.

Tomorrow afternoon, on January 29th, we’ll have towncar pick you up outside the hotel at 1PM. If you aren’t waiting out there by the time your ride rolls up, that ship is sailing without you. Marshall and the rest of the crew will meet you at the site to get filming. You’ll talk to him about what it is you want to accomplish and go from there.

Cheers,
Cara Lewis
Music Agent, CAA

January 29th, 2016
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Mercedes was sitting in the back of a fancy Lincoln Towncar, all the windows tinted and a partition between the front and back seats. She was on the phone, trying to peek through the windows. It kind of felt like she was kidnapped instead of getting chaperoned, but she wasn’t about to complain. She felt the car slow down and gravel crunch as the vehicle came to a stop.

Mercedes Kaestner-Varnado: OMG,we’re here! I have to go, I’ll talk to ya’ll later.

You could hear loud exclamations on the other end of the line as she hung up, from her besties Danielle and Eva. The door popped open and she had to shield her eyes from the cloudy sky that seemed a lot brighter than it should be. A hand helped her to her feet and she stepped out of the vehicle. She was in her wrestling attire, with her signature t-shirt over the top. Up ahead she could see him smoking a cigarette and talking to a couple of the production crew. They seemed caught up in conversation as they laughed as she approached them. The skinny white guy with the nice fade, black leather jack and baggy black jeans flicked his cigarette to the ground and gave his friends a handshake before grinning at Mercedes.

Marshall Mathers: Shit, look who finally made it.

Mercedes went to shake his hand, but instead was met with a warm hug. She was freaking out on the inside. Eminem just hugged her. This was the second hip-hop icon in less than a week she had the chance to meet.

Mercedes Kaestner-Varnado: I basically had no choice. Your agent would’ve destroyed me if I didn’t.

Marshall Mathers: Cara’s a ballbuster but she’s cool people. But listen, I don’t have as much time here as I thought I would. You still wanna go with what we talked about over them emails?

Mercedes nodded, still trying to get a hold of herself. It all happened so fast. She knew with the rumble coming up it would be her one chance to put herself back in the title picture. Just being at the right place at the right time was all it took to be where she was at now. Several minutes passed by as mics were hooked up, tripods were on their mark, and angles were set straight. The few short moments that ensued after were sure to go down in history.

A video feed popped on screen, with EBWF’s Sasha Banks and Detroit’s own Eminem were standing front and center. Sasha had her chin up slightly, Eminem had his arms crossed like a true rap mogul, a nasty look on his face.

Eminem: Listen to this **** right here, ‘cuz I’m only gonna say it once. Sasha Banks is a Boss Ass ****, and all these other b***es out there’s about to find out the hard way.

Beeps censored out the cursing. Sasha took a breath in and exhaled calmly, looking dead on into the camera, like a BOSS.

Sasha Banks: In two days the Head BOSS in charge, BOSSton’s Baddest, Sasha Banks. Makes her return to the ring. And in two days, Sasha Banks becomes the chick to win a match at Wrestlemania against the women’s division’s biggest flop, whoever that may be.

Slim Shady cleared his throat with an angry look on his face. He was about to spit fire.

Eminem: My girl Sasha… One of the baddest. She about to kick all ya’lls asses. No, it ain’t magic, so stop spazzin’...

He started nodding his head to a beat as Sasha continued. A pre-made song loop played over their voices, keeping the beat up for the rapper to follow.

Sasha Banks: Too many people seem to forget that there’s only room for one BOSS in this division, but that’s where there’s mistakes. It’s time everyone in this place stay WOKE. No time for games because I’m not playin’. It doesn’t make a difference if I’m the first person to enter that ring or the last. When the BOSS comes to work, you can bet money things are gonna get done. On Sunday, Banks is gonna make another statement, and I’ma make the headlines.

Eminem: Don’t know what’s gonna hit’em, like an ass crack she’ll split em, left cheek right cheek, it don’t matter she’ll whip’em. You don’t like what she says, well f*** you... She never asked. Don’ try her unless you tryna fight her ‘cuz she’ll light ya on fire like dead’ grass.

Sasha Banks: I think Slim Shady said it best. Believe me when I say this boo boos, the Mean Girls? We're back. We are taking over the women's rumble and one of us is walkin' out a winner.

Slim Shady kept bobbing his head to the beat but put a hand up to his chin. He didn't drop another bar and Sasha had to swivel around and mean mug him.

Sasha Banks: Excuse me? Ain't you supposed to be the best there is today? Where's the fire?

He put his hands up in submission.

Eminem: Yo, I got nothin' man...

Sasha Banks: Tuh. So much for gettin' the REAL Slim Shady.

Eminem: You know what... F*** you Sasha. I ain't wanna do this s*** anyway with your hoodrat self.

Sasha Banks: Umm, look here "RABBIT". You better swerve with that mess.

Eminem put up a middle finger and turned to walk away, but Sasha snatched him quick. She yanked him by the collar of his leather jacket and almost broke him in half with the Bank Statement in one hot second. She locked in the choke and the camera got up close to catch the iconic moment. Slim Shady was clearly in pain as he tried to fight free. He tapped on the ground.

Eminem: What the f*** yo! I quit, you win! Alright, damn.

The BOSS let him go right after and stood up, dusting herself off. She fixed her shutter shades that went crooked on her face before walking away. The ending scene showed her dancing next to Eminem to "Boss Ass Bitch by Ptaf". Slim just stood there, shaking his head and kicking at some rocks as the video faded out.
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--OOC: This isn't what I intended to end up with but it happened sooooo ????? Have fun my people.

[Dotty]

I love getting to read role plays that are totally different. I thought it was great. I'm not sure I could ever get Eminem in a Bayley promo though!!

[Will]

I drive a Lincoln Town car. I like Sasha's taste.

Great RP Kamden. It's always fun to read and it's most certainty different. lol. Rabbit.

[Ben M]

This was hilarious! I loved it :)

[Dotty]

I've spent the entire day smiling to myself at the idea of Eminem in the Banks Statement!