Times change. People reinvent themselves all the time… The Mighty CM Punk was no different. For him, a change was long overdue, not a change in the way he dressed, or the way he spoke, not a cheesy gimmick reboot like he was Spider-Man, no. What he was going for is a change in his essence. Turns out this hardcore Punk scrawny kid from Chicago who emerged from the indies a little over 15 years ago. As a man with the reputation of “Excelling at everything he tried”, little did people know how much heart and soul, how much enthusiasm he put into things. He truly believed he had the power to change the world in his inked, bandaged hands, which were gloved in full contact MMA white gloves as he worked bodystrikes on a sandbag. His slender silhouette moved around the sandbag, which swayed almost hypnotically from side to side, his shoulders drawing perfect circles as he struck the bag over, and over again. Each strike caused a daft thud to fill the small room, a grunt escaped his lips as he continued striking.
Our martyr’s journey had just started, not even a month after his return, the first mountain he had to climb stood before him.
With Wrestlemania just around the corner, and the BITW express was taking no stops until reaching it’s destination, conditioning and strength training was a must.
At the “Grandest stage of them all”, he’d face a man he knew very, very well…
The man clad in an UnderArmor compression T-shirt with the Batman logo printed upon it and black MMA shorts with the Chicago Flag printed on the side. He turned towards the camera and grabbed a hold of the sand filled punching bag.
CM Punk: It is almost that time of the year… WrestleMania season is upon us and the whole world is wondering. What’s up with CM Punk? Why did he return just before WrestleMania?
Punk shrugged and smirked into the camera.
CM Punk: Because coming back and instantly getting a WrestleMania moment has always been pivotal for me… It’s a no brainer! It boggles me people without brains are asking that. Two years ago, I shocked the World and Brock Lesnar’s brain with a knee to his face, Last year I captured the Path To Glory title… See a trend here? Returning at WrestleMania was nothing but a good business decision. Big events call for big stars after all, don’t they? And The Miz is probably better of filming the Marine 5 or whatever.
Punk shrugged before he gave the bag a swift jab with his right arm, before turning his attention back to the camera.
CM Punk: Another question that was raised among the EBWF was “CM Punk, you haven’t had a match in a month, the last time you you held a title was exactly one year ago…
Punk’s left upper limb slammed the punching bag, padded knuckles making contact first in a swift cross punch.
CM Punk: To those history enthusiast: Thanks for keeping the score. Here’s another fact your selective memory might have overlooked: For the past 2 years, I’ve come out victorious from my WrestleMania matches… One of them with the PTG title around my waist, which…
Punk went for a spinning heel kick on the bag, which swayed a little faster now. Punk’s frowned forehead made contact with the camera lens.
CM Punk: Need I repeat the story on how I wrote history here again? I’m sorry, but I don’t want to sound like Ted DiBiase reminding everyone he was world champion for a week.
He folded his arms and looked at the camera.
CM Punk: Is that how it goes? Are the fans and the dirtsheets going to prosecute me, question my decision on when to get back between the ropes? on when should I knock on the door and ask for my moment? I’m sorry, but if you haven’t been keeping an eye on me, you’d know I’m more the kind of guy who kicks down the door by surprise, coming in uninvited, and drinks your milk straight from the carton. If the EBWF universe has a problem with me claiming the spot that I deserve for the sole fact of breathing the same air as they do, I can always go back home to my utterly hot girlfriend, write comic books for a living, appear on “The Talking Dead” and enjoy Monday Night Hockey instead of Monday Night Bile Vomit Starring the Miz and his current set of kissass stooges, Wes Ikeda and the counterfeit “Best in the World at what he does”. Would you rather that?
He paused for a moment, as if waiting for a reply that would never come. He nodded afterwards.
CM Punk: But the question that most insults my intelligence is “What have you done to earn that title shot?”. Blunt questions deserve blunt answers, so here it goes: I am CM Punk. There, I hope that has satisfied your curiosity. Now, moving onto more important matters… PJ Black, Black Pajamas, The Wolf from the little red riding hood, the guy with the emo haircut, Justin Gabriel… You can change your name, your hairstyle, steal goofy glasses from Edge and Christian, but you can’t change the fact you and I have been in the ring one too many times, and the only time you have bested me was with interference… You’ve proven unable to beat me on my worst day… The odds are stacked against you now that I’m back. Of course, had I not left your fingers wouldn’t be anywhere near that title…
Punk rubbed his hands together, his wrists twisting in a circular motion as he looked straight into the camera.
CM Punk: It is unbelievable… No matter where I go, no matter what I do, no matter what; there is always someone picking up after me. It was after I relinquished MY Path To Glory title and moved onto bigger things that he bested a bunch of CM Punk Wannabes to become champion… Sadly for the EBWF Universe, who has grown accustomed to heroic tales of people who overcome the odds and make their dreams come true; that’s where the story ends: He didn’t even got to Cash in and dropped his title.
Punk pouted, one of his hands rested on his chin in a pretty evident gesture of fake sympathy.
CM Punk: These kind of things keep repeating themselves. Everywhere I go, somewhere wants to take a fast detour to the top. “Hey it’s what CM Punk did!”. Not only it is humanly impossible for them… Despite constant failure, they keep on trying. I guess I must apologize for making wrestling look so easy! Seriously, its like that Simpsons episode where Krusty makes a school of Krusties? Minus the laughter… I see nobody laughing at these clowns. I almost feel sorry for them… And that’s why I am on a mission to set a record straight… Make the EBWF universe and the whole EBWF Locker room aware that there are NO shorcuts to the top if your name is not CM Punk. I’m sure I don’t need to go on a Grammar Slam rant to point out that PJ Black is no CM Punk, it only takes a good set of eyes and common sense.
He placed his hand to his ear and tilted his head to the side.
CM Punk: What is it that I am hearing? “Oh, but Punk, PJ black is new, reinvented, he’s a whole new deal!” Getting that title off Lance Storm wasn’t much of a feat in the first place… And I was slightly impressed when he managed to beat Randy Orton within an inch of his life… Been there, done that. He has held that title for a good couple of months now, but in a company who had to put up with the Miz being World Champion, I’m sure there aren’t many worthy opponents. So if I were PJ Black, I would treat this upcoming match not only as my first title defense, but as the biggest match of my life… Because he’s not facing the ridiculous Miz, he’s not facing one of his stooges, he’s not facing an Ex-Wrestler who is more worried about parenting than getting the job done in the ring.
He ran his fingers along his scruffy mahogany colored beard.
CM Punk: Let me break this down. You are not facing just some wrestler, you’re facing THE wrestler, the man who forged that belt you’ve been parading about with, the so called ‘ticket’. I swear to Thor if I could turn back time I would return to the day the Path To Glory title began granting a World Title shot to the champion and prevent it from happening… Imagine a bunch of mediocres taking your creation and treating it as an instant ticket to a World Title opportunity… Let’s get something out of the way… Without the Path to Glory title, PJ Black would be NOWHERE near the World Title scene, NOWHERE.
He shook his head slowly, placing his open palm in his forehead to convey disappointment.
CM Punk: We have a guy, who is parading around with a belt that I created… Bragging about how he has a World Title shot… Wait no, he’s actually calling himself a Future World Champion, just because he beat Lance Storm? Let that sink in for a moment. Okay? In my eye, PJ Black is obviously no future World Champion, he shouldn’t even be Path To Glory champion in the first place! And after our match he’ll have to consider himself lucky if he makes it to the ER as a future patient, worst case scenario, he could end up at a Texan morgue; as a future carcass. Long story short, PJ Black’s future is not looking so bright after WrestleMania.
Punk diverted his attention from the camera to nail a couple more strikes to the punching bag.
CM Punk: A man who doesn’t know his history is doomed to repeat it .Last year you were unable to Cash in the Path To Glory title… Life was telling you; you don’t belong anywhere near the Elite. “New year, new day, new look, new name” One would think, right? Wrong. Without the talent, without the relentlessness… You can name yourself Superman, Batman, CM Punk… The result will be the same. Conversely, I am training day and night to make sure history repeats itself, because unlike you I do have the power to change the course of history. I might have not proven anything since my return… I won’t even count dispatching Jay Briscoe, as I consider getting rid of CM Punk impersonators a moral obligation. But you can bet your ass all I talk about from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed next to my drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend is how I want my WrestleMania moment, and how I have the power in my hands to do so.
He leaned into the camera, grabbing it and bringing it close to his face.
CM Punk: PJ Black, your fake confidence in your abilities will only take you face first onto my knees. The man you beat for the title was not enjoying his time as a wrestler anymore, he was having a hard time keeping up with the changing times… Last month you faced a man who had lost his focus, who had long lost his way in this place… And you got out of those fights just barely. This is WrestleMania, the grandest stage of them all, and management really got out of their way to find you an opponent worthy of such occasion. What I am trying to say is, your time with the title is ticking away… As is the time until you’re eating lunch through a straw for a couple of months… Not to toot my own horn, Black but I am quite effective at removing shit eating grins from undeserving wastes of space like you… Keep in mind this time you are not facing the Ideal Canadian, you’re facing the Best Wrestler In The World. You’re not tangling around with a toothless viper… You’re getting in the ring with an Anaconda, you’d probably realize when my arms are wrapping around your throat, choking out your uncemented illusions of being a World Champion in the near future and then, will to live.
He let go of the camera and took a step back.
CM Punk: Come WrestleMania, I’m taking this opportunity to reclaim my place, the place I should’ve never let go… And I will purge the PTG title of PJ Black, like I have from previous unworthy holders! This time, there’d be no “Summer of Punk”, not even a year of Punk, not even a decade… I am planning to make this “The Age of Punk”. Simply because I am better than PJ Black, I am CM Punk. Motherfucker.
Punk crossed his arms in an X over the batman sign on his chest as the scene faded to black.
