There would be a NEW Queen of the Ring, that much was for certain after last years winner Layla El dropped her match to Kaitlyn 2 weeks ago on Warfare. The good news for her, was that she still was the Sky High Champion. The bad news, was that she would be defending that very title at King of the Ring against Brooke Tessmacher and Maria. The fact remained that Layla still had a very permanent spot as one of the top Divas in the company, but how the company would change her role in the upcoming months was still to be determined. She had been running around executing wacky promo's and segments with her new partners Taka and Funaki, but behind all that comedy, there was still a very talented pro wrestler. This was something that she was determined to show to the world this coming Sunday Night.
The scene opened up in Boston, Massachusetts in front of a place called "Game On." It was the Wednesday before King of the Ring. The camera zoomed inside, and sitting at the bar were two very familiar faces, Layla El and Mike Mizanin. Layla was enjoying a martini of sorts, while Mike had a draft beer in front of him. They were very deep in conversation as the camera got closer to them. Mike adjusted his white button up shirt so that it went over his shoulders, and brushed some lint of his black dress pants as he spoke. Layla sipped her martini with her eyes never leaving Mike's as she listened. She wore a pink tank-top and light blue jean shorts. As we closed in on them, their voices became audible.
Mike Mizanin: But you're doing great though. I really like the gimmick you have going on right now with Taka and Sho. You're very likable right now.
Layla El: What are you trying to say that I'm not likable normally?
She squinted her eyes and smiled, she knew that's not what he meant, but she loved busting his balls. Mike, as was his way, was not fazed by her efforts to make him backtrack.
Mike Mizanin: I mean you're ALRIGHT normally, but the shtick you got going on with them is really working. I think your last match was more of a situation where the company just didn't want to seem predictable throughout this tournament. I mean look at John Cena putting Trent Baretta over, when everyone and their mother was expecting a Cena vs Punk King of the Ring final.
Layla El: No, and I know that, and I'm having a really good time working with Sho and Taka. I just wonder sometimes if I could be showing more in the ring. I know all the gimmicks and story-lines are more to just keep people interested in you, but I just love being in the ring and I want to really show everyone what I can do in there.
Mike thought it over for a second. He nodded as he took a sip of his beer.
Mike Mizanin: I definitely get what you're saying. I think this Sunday's match might be a chance for you to do just that. You're going to be the center of attention in that match with Brooke and Maria, if that match is going to be memorable it's going to be because of you
Layla El: I love both of those girls, I'm just hoping that they give us the chance to entertain in the way we are all capable of. If I have to put either one of them over, as always, I'm fine with that I just want my chance to put on a show.
Mike Mizanin: Yeah and I'm sure you will. The main focus of the night will be the King and Queen of the Ring finals of course, but you should definitely talk with Maria and Brooke about what you want to do to make your match stand out.
Layla El: Yeah I definitely will do that. Thank you for taking so much interest in me Mikey, I know you're dying to come back yourself.
Mike smiled, he had taken sometime off for story-line purposes, but she was right. As much as he loved making promotional appearances and getting some rest, his true passion was being on the road and performing in the ring night in and night out.
Mike Mizanin: I mean I definitely do, not getting to talk about how awesome I am on a daily basis is quite the drag. Most of all I just miss everyone.
Layla El: Anyone in particular?
She batted her eyelashes over and over again, bating him to say he missed her. Mike was no fool, and caught on to this.
Mike Mizanin: No, not really.
She gave a playful puppy dog pout as he gently grabbed her face and gave her a kiss on the forehead. The bartender then came over to them.
Bartender: One more guys?
Layla and Mike both nodded in agreement. Moments later the bartender returned with their drinks. Mike raised his glass.
Mike Mizanin: Here's to a day that we get to spend together not on a plane or a bus.
Layla El: Cheers.
They clinked glasses and the scene faded out.
The scene re-opened to the EBWF logo. We faded into a laboratory. The two men who inhabited this lab were none other than Kaientai, Taka and Funaki. They both wore lab coats with goggles. They occasionally would pour liquids from one beaker to another, really playing up the fact that they were mid experiment. Out of nowhere Taka's voice over was heard, which startled the former Intercontinental Champion causing him to almost spill the liquid in one of his test tubes that he was holding. When the words were heard he quickly moved his mouth to catch up to them.
Taka: (voice over) We've just about done it Funaki, and when I say "it" I don't mean we've just about had sex, as I know often times people refer to sex as "it." That's not what I'm doing in this case, because I wouldn't have sex with you because I'm a homo sexual.
Funaki whispered something into Taka's ear. Taka was quick to correct himself with the help of Funaki.
Taka: (voice over) Hetero Sexual! I'm a hetero sexual. I mean it in the sense that we've almost completed the task that we have at hand. The task that we are currently working on, a task that when completed will change professional wrestling forever, more specifically it will change Women's Wrestling, more specifically it will change the Sky High Division, more specifically it will change Layla's Career, more specifically everybody who faces Layla will be in DEEP DEEP trouble.
Taka put his hands on his knees, and totally off cue sounds of panting were heard.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Taka stood up straight once again and pointed into the camera.
Taka: (voice over) The reason for this Funaki is that we are on the VERGE of creating the first ever potion, that when consumed by Layla, she will become absolutely and 100 percent indestructible.
Taka took out a cell phone from his lab coat. He stared at it for two beats. Funaki shot Taka a confused look.
Taka: (voice over) Sorry, I just was expecting Trent Baretta and AJ Lee to call dying to know the ingredients. This is right up their alley, and of course that would be the alley of dorkdom, however, since it is US who are making this potion, it is NOT dorky at all. Unless of course by dorky, you mean incredibly EVIL!
Funaki absorbed Taka's rationale and offered his agreement.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Taka smiled showing all his teeth before continuing.
Taka: (voice over) This potion could not have been made at a better time, as Layla will be defending her Sky High Title against Maria and Brooke Tessmacher. Though both of these ladies are easy on the eyes, Layla will be anything but easy to defeat, especially after she drinks what we have concocted. I almost feel bad for her two opponents, if feeling bad was something I did.. which of course it is NOT! A HA HA HA!
Taka cocked his head back in laughter significantly off cue.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Taka: (voice over) I will however issue a promise to both Maria and Brooke that after Layla drinks are concoction and destroy's them, I will personally concoct them.. to make them feel better. IF ya know what I mean.
Funaki looked very confused and his mouth was closed.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Funaki looked up as if to say "but I have no clue what he means." Taka smiled.
Taka: (voice over) I have instructed Layla to come over here in exactly 2 minutes to consume our creation. I just have to add one thing to it, and it will be complete.
Taka ducked under the table and went into a mini fridge. He pulled out a "Monster" Energy Drink and poured it into the liquid sitting in front of him.
Funaki: (voice over) ENERGY!
Taka: (voice over) INDEED!
Beat.
Taka: (voice over) FINISHED! Now we wait. She should be here in exactly one minute and eighteen seconds.
Taka and Funaki put their hands on their hips in unison. The screen faded away and cut to a black screen that read in white letters "1 Minute and 18 seconds later." The scene cut back and Taka and Funaki still stood with their hands on their hips. The scene cut away again and it read "17 minutes and 38 seconds later." This time Taka and Funaki were both sitting down with their head in their arms that were folded on the table. All of a sudden bouncing into the lab wearing a White with pink letters T-Shirt that read "Layla E "vi" L Was Layla. She had the Sky High Title over her shoulder. Her loud voice over startled Taka and Funaki into waking up.
Layla El: (voice over) HEEEEEEEERE'S LAYLA!
Taka was the first to rise out of his seat. He looked at Layla and started pantomiming angry yelling. 5 seconds later we heard.
Taka: (voice over) Hi Layla!
Taka looked up as if to say "what the hell?" In an attempt to cover up the mistake he waved at Layla in a friendly manner. Until..
Taka: (voice over) What the hell is the matter with you? Funaki and I have slaved over making this potion FOR YOU, and you stroll in here late like you did nothing wrong. We haven't even eaten for the past 3 days because we've been working on this. We're like Bear from Man vs. Wild, only living off of things we can find in our struggle, which in this laboratory is like crumbs and stuff.
The camera cut to Funaki who was caught stuffing a Honey Bun in his mouth.
Funaki: (voice over, mouth full) INDEED!
Taka shook his head in dissapointment.
Layla El: (voice over) Relax Tak-Ster, I've been out training for my big match just in case this potion doesn't make me as indestructible as you say it will. Not that I'd ever doubt you, I mean you told me that LA Complex would be a horrible show, and it totally was.
Funaki swallowed his Honey Bun and looked very disturbed.
Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.
Layla smiled at Funaki.
Layla El: (voice over) So the last thing I'd do is question what you tell me. With that said, my Sky High Title is on the line at King of the Ring, and that's something that isn't to be taken lightly. Maria is back and she's going to be eager to make an impact right away by taking this title from me. I mean she may not be the sharpest crayon on the box, but the chick can fight, and Brooke, well Brooke has lost a lot of matches recently, but she's still a world class athlete and is definitely someone I have to take seriously as well.
There was a beat before laughter was heard over the PA System and all 3 pantomimed to catch up to it.
Layla El: (voice over) I bet I really had you all going! I mean the only thing that I wasn't completely blowing smoke was that with my title on the line, it becomes a match I take very seriously no matter who it's against. The fact that it's against Maria and Brooke makes me breathe a little easier for sure. I mean all I'll have to do to beat Maria is write 2 + 2 on a piece of paper, and hand it to her. She'll be sitting in a corner for the rest of the match short circuiting and become a non factor. As for Brooke, she'll be too preoccupied with when her next slutty photo shoot will be that she won't have time to think about being prepared to defeat me for this.
Layla held up her Sky High Title.
Taka: (voice over) Right.. she is slutty. Honestly, I'm embarrassed for her, we would NEVER look at any of her revealing photos. It's just sad really..
The camera cut to Funaki who had a magazine that featured Brooke Tessmacher in his hands. He was titling the magazine sideways, as guys will, (other guys.. not me) Taka elbowed Funaki extremely hard to get his attention.
Taka: (voice over) FUNAKI!
Funaki scrambled and threw the magazine on the floor.
Funaki: (voice over, frantic) Indeed, Indeed!
Layla El: (voice over) Regardless my two good friends, neither of these chicadees are ready for me in that ring. Brooke is just a pretty face... well actually she's not even that pretty, so Brooke is just a face..
Taka: (voice over) You're right.. totally ugly.. Butter Face. Her body's not that impressive "Butter Face" is worse. A HA HA HA!
The camera cut to Funaki who was crawling around on the ground looking for the magazine.
Taka: (voice over) FUNAKI!
Funaki sprang up quickly slamming his head on the table.
Funaki: (voice over, in pain) INDEED!
Layla El: (voice over) And unfortunately for Maria her big return match is going to end in a big fat L, and not the big fat L's that Kelly Kelly used to smoke... even though Maria should start doing marijuana. The one major setback is that it kills brain cells, but Maria doesn't have any of those, so she's really not at risk of the side effects... and she's ugly.
Taka: (voice over) I agree.. she's also very ugly.. and stupid like you said. There's really nobody as beautiful and smart as you Layla. Right Funaki?
Funaki now had a magazine in each hand, one featured a scantily clad Maria the other, Brooke.
Taka: (voice over) FUNAKI!
Funaki once again threw the magazines to the ground.
Funaki: (voice over, frantic) INDEED!
Layla smiled.
Layla El: (voice over) You guys are too sweet, and I can't believe you gone through all the trouble of working on this potion for me. I mean you guys were EVIL before.. but seeing you here.. in lab coats.. in a laboratory.. I got to tell you.. you bring EVIL to a whole new level. Now all you need is a cat that you can creepily stroke, while you work on one of your dastardly plans.
The camera cut to the opening where Layla entered. Into the scene walked a cat. It had a sign around it's neck. It walked right up to the 3 EBWF superstars. Taka took the sign off the cats neck. He smiled as his mouth quickly moved to read.
Taka: (voice over, reading) Hello, I am a cat that you can creepily stroke while you work on one of your dastardly plans.
Layla El: (voice over) PERFECT!
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Taka picked the cat up and began to stroke it slowly.
Taka: (voice over) So Layla, before you drink this potion that we have created I want to tell you what you can expect from it. Drinking this potion will make you extremely energetic. Not in the annoying, teenage girl who just drank her first Mountain Dew kind of way, like Maria, but energetic in the way that you NEVER TIRE. While the ladies you face will become winded and weak, you will get STRONGER. The potion will also make you very strong, and not strong like the bot-ox on Brooke's face strong, although that is pretty tough to top, STRONGER than that. Your blows will carry more weight behind them, your slams will have more ferocity, you will be a powerful machine of a lady.. and you'll still look cute.
Layla El: (voice over) That's awesome, I wouldn't want to be that strong if I had to look like Beth Phoenix or something.
Taka: (voice over) I understand, Beth is gross..
The camera cut to Funaki who this time did not have a magazine featuring Beth Phoenix. He instead nodded in agreement.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Taka: (voice over) Lastly, this potion will increase your overall speed, and no I don't mean speed like the speed that Brooke and Maria take before a night of hooking, I mean speed in the sense that you will dart around your opponents in the ring, making them so dizzy, well dizzier in Maria's case since she's so stupid she's in a natural dizzy state, that they will then become easy targets for you to pounce on and defeat... Even though both are pretty easy targets to bounce on already IF you know what I mean.
Taka stroked the cat, as the camera cut to Funaki who had his chin in his hand and a dazed look on his face.
Funaki: (voice over, longingly) Indeed.
Layla El: (voice over) Hey Funaki stand up for a second.
Funaki did as he was told, still day dreaming about Layla's opponents at King of the Ring. Taka was picking up what Layla was putting down, and moved Funaki's seat away from the table.
Layla El: (voice over) Never mind sorry, you can sit down.
Funaki went to sit down and predictably hit the floor bottom first extremely hard. Taka and Layla began to pantomime laughter, and the sounds followed suit.
Layla El: (voice over) Aw man too easy.. that was evil of us!
Funaki: (voice over, in pain) Indeed.
Layla El: (voice over) Oh whatever you big baby, you deserved it. You're over there in "La La" land like you were married to Carmello Anthony.
Taka: (voice over) I see what you did there.. La La like the chick that used to host TRL in the post Carson Daly era. Boy was she awful..
Taka again stroked the cat. Funaki stood up dusting himself off.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED.
Layla El: (voice over) She was awful, but yeah Funaki come back to earth. After Sunday you won't be fantasizing about either one of them, because I'm going to beat them down to the point where the only magazine they'll be posing for is this one.
Layla pulled a magazine out of the back of her shirt, and tossed it to Funaki. It was a gory magazine with vampires and zombies on it.
Funaki: (voice over) Bloody!
Layla El: (voice over) Indeed, anyways getting back on track. Taka the potion sounds perfect. Now I just want to make sure that it's all 100 percent legal, I wouldn't want to cheat my way to victory, that wouldn't be good sportsmanship...
There was a beat once again. All 3 of them then started pantomiming wild laughter. The laughter was heard soon there after.
Taka: (voice over, through laughter) Oh man good sportsmanship.. that's rich... like we'd care about that.. that'd be like Maria caring about learning her multiplication tables!
Layla El: (voice over, through laughter) I see what you did there.. because she wouldn't care about that at all.. just like we don't care about sportsmanship, just like Brooke must not care about ever winning a match, because it NEVER HAPPENS.. like Funaki getting laid!
Funaki was laughing as well until Layla said that.. he then got a very serious look on his face.
Funaki: (voice over, through laughter) INDEED!
Funaki looked up visibly upset, and this made Taka and Layla laugh even louder. Eventually all 3 members of Kaientai calmed down.
Layla El: (voice over) Enough with the chit chat, let's have the potion. Is it done?
Taka went to answer, but Funaki beat him to the punch. His answer sounded very cold, due to the fact Layla had just slammed him.
Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.
Layla sensed Funaki's anger.
Layla El: (voice over) Aw Funaki, I'm sorry buddy I didn't mean to make you mad. Come here let's hug it out bitch.
Funaki smiled and hugged Layla. Layla went to pull away, but Funaki held on tightly. His hands slowly started to move down Layla's back towards her butt, like a 6th grade couple slow dancing. Layla quickly backed away.
Layla El: (voice over) OK there handsy... that's enough.
Funaki bowed his head in shame.
Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.
Layla began to feel bad for him.
Layla El: (voice over) Oh what the hell...
Her next word was said in the same way that a kid shooting hoops would call out "Jordan" before taking a jump shot.
Layla El: (voice over) Tessmacher!
Layla shoved her butt right in Funaki's face who gladly gave it 3 playful smacks. Taka had seen enough.
Taka: (voice over) I have seen enough!
Told you.
Taka: (voice over) No more, quite literally, playing grab ass, the time has come for Layla to drink our potion!
Funaki was just coming down from the high that giving Layla's booty a smack, like she was wearing apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Layla nodded. Taka handed her the beaker with the finished product in it. Taka cocked his head back, and stroked his cat.
Taka: (voice over) A HA! A HA HA! A HA HA HA!
Soon the room bellowed with evil laughter, as Layla gulped down the "potion."
Taka: (voice over) What does it taste like?
Layla swished it around in her mouth before swallowing.
Layla El: (voice over) It tastes like POWER.... and a hint of Monster Energy Drink..
Funaki looked sheepishly at Layla as if to say "you caught us."
Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.
Layla El: (voice over) The point is, I feel like I could now take on the world, and fortunately for me I won't have to. All I'll have to take on is Maria and Brooke, and that is hardly the world. I mean it's kind of like the world on the television channel "E" but not the rest of it. Brooke and Maria will be over matched when they step into the ring with me this Sunday. I may not be the Queen of the Ring for the second year in a row, but there's one thing that I am and there is one thing that I will still be after Sunday Night, and that is the EBWF Sky High Champion. Potion or no potion, when it comes to me defending this baby right here.. your girl Layla El, is INDESTRUCTIBLE! The passion and the pride that I have in this title, makes me completely unstoppable when I am defending it. So Maria and Brooke might think that they have a good chance to beat me this Sunday, but their "good" chance will become a chance that will be VAPORIZED by my pure unadulterated
EEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Layla scrunched her face up as always, and Taka nodded with a grin on his face, stroking the cat. Funaki took a step forward. He mouthed words for what seemed like an eternity.
Funaki: (voice over) INNNNNDEEEEEEEEED!
The 3 members of Kaientai cocked their heads back once more as Taka continued to creepily stroke the cat. The scene faded to black.
