Glasses Askew

[Kamden]

OOC: I am rusty so I'm sorry lol
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Todd Grisham: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in. At this time I’d like to welcome my guest today, Enzo Amore.

BADA BOOM, REALEST GUY IN THE ROOM!

Off camera resident macho meathead Enzo Amore could be heard hacking one of his many catchphrases to anyone nearby. He strolled up into the screen, cool as a cucumber, ready to rumble and fight a good fight. He slapped Todd hard on the back, so much so that his glasses went slightly askew.

Enzo Amore: How you doin’, Todd.

Todd adjusted his glasses with a quick push up the bridge of his nose before grimacing slightly and nodding in acknowledgement.

Todd Grisham: Just fine, Enzo. It seems like you’re doing great, as usual.

Enzo nodded his head thoughtfully.

Enzo Amore: Y’know Todd, I am doin’ great. Thank you very much. I appreciate such a kind gesture. There’s not a lot of stand-up guys out there these days. It’s… It’s… What’s the word I’m lookin’ for here. Ahhhh c’mon…

He continued to snap to himself and mumble, and after fumbling with his words for a few seconds it came to him.

Enzo Amore: It’s S-A-W-F-T dude. SAWFT! And ya know what else is sawft ‘round here man?

Todd shook his head.

Todd Grisham: No, I do not.

Enzo Amore: So many of these dudes here in the EBWF. What do you get when you put a teddy bear, a barbie doll, and… Uh I guess another doll I don’t know man- in the ring with a bonafide G, a certified sissy smacker, and mean lean bitch breakin’ MACHINE LIKE ME AHHHHHHH!

Enzo flexed and bugged his eyes out like a maniac, before going back to normal.

Enzo Amore: Answer the question, dude.

Todd Grisham: I really don’t know--

Enzo Amore: I’LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU GET. YOU GET ENZO AMORE BECOMING BULLY RAY’S NEWEST BADASS FACE-BREAKIN’, JAW BUSTIN’, HEAD-CRACKIN’ FINGER SNAPPIN’ TAG TEAM PARTNER. My man, you have to look at the facts here. Kevin Owens? Sawft. Nah, like literally… Sawft. He’s the reason the teletubbies run out of custard. Why chipotle runs outta guac. Why McDonald’s soft-serve is always broken. When ya got two dudes JACKED like me and Bully Ray you’ll know it’s the real deal. And then ya got Tyler Breeze over there callin’ himself a prince. Boy oh boy… Why not get the CROWNS and be a KING!

He got up in Todd’s face, obviously aggro, for emphasis. Todd did not turn to face Enzo, but wondered if his breath reeked of AXE.

Todd Grisham: Again Enzo, I don’t know the answer to these questions.

Enzo Amore: That’s ok man this ain’t a contest. you don’t gotta know everything. Except that duff dude Dolph Ziggler over here ain’t winnin’ this match. When you get cheap tans and bad bleach those chemicals can really do your body harm man. Take it from me.

Todd nodded slowly in agreement, not sure of how to respond.

Enzo Amore: Tonight, ya boy will do good. And he is gonna show everyone how it’s done. Like a certified G. And ya CAN’T. TEACH. THAT.

Enzo ducked past Todd and was seen jogging off down the corridor, and pretended to slam dunk on a stage crew member.

Todd Grisham: Yeah you definitely can’t teach that folks… There you have it. Be sure to catch Enzo along with Kevin Owens, Dolph Ziggler and Tyler Breeze in a fatal fourway match to determine Bully Ray’s newest tag team partner… Tonight, on Warfare!

[Dotty]

Certified sissy smacker is quite possibly the greatest thing I've ever read on this website!

[Derek]

Enzo has to be a liberating character to write, because you are free to just spew the craziest nonsense, very fun read!