A very enthusiastic voice greeted the EBWF universe. The gritty, low quality stream from a webcam lagged a bit initially as a couch came into view.
HEY GUYS! Oh…
Finally it went still and a face was seen. A happy one. And a not-so-happy one. Not that it was angry. It just wasn't happy.
Couches can’t talk. That’d be pretty weird. But pretty fun, too! Every time you sit on it it’d scream bloody murder.
One of EBWF’s latest signees, Blue Pants, was smiling with rosy cheeks as she sat down next to her guest. Or her host. She didn’t know what to call her. Renee Young tried hard to not look so weirded out. But she sucked at hiding it.
Renee Young: Are you sure this’ll stream to the website? It’s a live stream…
Blue Pants: Pffft, you bet I’m sure! I paid a guy in the room next to me to set it all up!
Renee blinked a couple of times and looked down at her cue cards and placed them on the floor, simply hoping for the best. At this point she knew it wouldn't be "that" type of interview.
Renee Young: I felt it was appropriate to interview you and get to know you better, since the last time we met was just the first time we met.
Blue Pants: AWWWWW how nice of you! I bet we’re gonna be best friends.
Renee Young: Don’t get ahead of yourself now, we’re just getting started.
Blue Pants: Okay! I can do that. Hold my horses.
Renee Young: This week you’ll be in your first match in the annual Queen of the Ring tournament against a long-time EBWF woman Velvet Sky.
Blue Pants: Yeah, I think for my first match in the company that’s too dang cool. I really like Velvet Sky. She has pretty hair. Like a rainbow almost! Minus a few colors, but that’s ok. It’s a unique rainbow. Maybe she dyed it that way to complement her name!
Renee Young: ...That would make sense. But I wouldn’t know.
Blue Pants: Well I can tell you why I chose my name. Unless you want to guess!
Renee Young: I probably wouldn’t get it..
She was slightly sarcastic but that went right over Blue Pants head, which always seemed to be high in the clouds.
Blue Pants: I WEAR BLUE PANTS!
Her body snapped to her left to face the camera, and she gave a thumbs up. The viewers at home were in for a surprise.
Renee Young: Yep, you’re wearing them now. You know... That actually looks like really comfortable denim, where’d you buy--
Blue Pants: WHAT! TAKE THAT BACK!
Blue Pants stood on her chair so fast it alarmed Renee, who was now an high-alert herself, half-sitting/half-standing using the arms of her chair.
Renee Young: What?!
Blue Pants: THESE AREN’T DENIM, THEY’RE BLUE! I HATE DENIM! IT’S NOT COOL!
Her voice rose to a high volume and echoed in the room as she yelled at Renee. The way she said it sounded like a cult-cheerleader chant.
Renee Young: ...Then I take it back?!
The wrestleista slowly sat back down in her chair and wiped at her brow, pretending to wipe sweat away.
Blue Pants: Phew! What a cool down.
Her guest also sat back down in her chair slowly, trying not to make sudden movements.
Blue Pants: But yeah I have my first match EVER here against Velvet Sky!
Renee Young: ...Would you like to say anything to her at this time?
Blue Pants: Sure definitely of course! HI VELVET! In case ya didn’t know, I’m BLUE PANTS!
She flashed another big happy face and a thumbs up at the webcam.
Renee Young: Why do you keep doing that?
Blue Pants: Oh the people watching can see stuff we can’t. Special effects. I set it up with gesture matching control stuff. It’s NEAT!
Renee Young: So you can add special effects but don’t know how to set up your own camera?
Blue Pants: That’s right. I’m a woman of many talents. Velvet Sky will get to see that preeeettty soon! She’s gonna be SCHOOLED!
Renee Young: What exactly does that entail?
Blue Pants: Oh I forgot, you’re a new applicant. Well the Cool School is gonna be the business around here. A business in the business. Also inception because stuff is gonna be inside other stuff and it can get weird and trippy. There are a lot of courses people of the Cool School can enroll in. As the founder/president/dean/sport coordinator, I made sure flashy karate was a MUST. So Velvet Sky can expect to get roundhouse kicked, throat chopped, head butted, and/or hip tossed. I also know how to kamehameha but I haven’t learned how to throw the colors in there yet. It’s still a work in progress. Deadline is coming up soon though so maybe I should get on that…
Blue pants started thinking thoughtfully to herself. Renee attempted to bring her back.
Renee Young: Tell us more about this Cool School.
Blue Pants: Oh. yeah the COOL SCHOOL! Bayley and I are the only people part of it at the moment, but we hope to get the universe to become our biggest fans! The WORLD even! We want to have the biggest alma mater on the PLANET! And I know one way to get people on the bandwagon is to start winning. So hold onto your butts because it’ll be a wild ride for EVERYone watching! Wheels will fly off and horses will run free, but they can’t be stallions because that’s very dangerous and illegal. I learned that in Horse 101.
With a sharp, affirmative nod Blue Pants gave yet another smile.
Renee Young: I may have to follow up on my comments from last time… This doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.
Blue Pants: GREAT! There’s always an open seat for anyone willing to learn cool stuff. Bayley and I are even gonna start online video courses soon so be on the lookout!
Renee Young: What else can we expect from Blue Pants, and Bayley as well?
Blue Pants: Well Bayley didn’t wanna be here this time, she wanted to rest and get a break from me. Totally understandable. Being a best friend is hard work and must be so exhausting! But like I said, we will be singing about the Cool School for yeaaaaaars. And so will you. And you EBWF universe. And YOU! Man next door who helped me set up the webcam!
There were three solid knocks heard through the wall. The usually confident and poised Renee was startled.
Renee Young: What was that?
Blue Pants: Oh that’s just the guy next door, he said he’d knock when he’d had enough fun watching us. That was pretty fast though! I guess time flies when you’re having fun, huh?
Renee Young: That was on cue though… How did he know when to knock?
Blue Pants: Oh gosh you’re so forgetful silly goose, I told you he has a live feed to his room!
Renee Young: WHAT?!
Her face turned pale and she looked like she might vomit. In a matter of seconds we heard the door slam shut. Blue Pants was staring deadpan at the door before snapping out of her neutral look.
Blue Pants: Wow what an exit! I guess she had to go somewhere. She’s a busy woman. Doing interviews and other stuff fancy-pants interviewers do. That’s ok, because I’m a certified interviewee, courtesy of the Cool School! I can play both interviewer and guest at the same time, I even have different voices I can do.
Blue Pants [Deep Voice]: What would it mean to be Queen of the Ring, Blue Pants?
Blue Pants: Good question, Blue Pants! I’d much rather be COOL than a Queen, but winning a tournament is guaranteed to get people thinking you’re cool. Being the winningest of them all sure does it. So to keep it short it means a LOT!
Blue Pants [Deep Voice]: Do you have anything specific to say to Velvet Sky, Blue Pants?
Blue Pants: YEAH! You always have to speak your mind or else your thoughts just build up and then it feels like you have to take a crap. But with words. Velvet Sky has done a lot in this company. She is a good competitor so I need to watch my back. Not in the match though or else she’d just get my in the front. I’ll look her dead in the eye and kick her to the MOON if I have to! Even if it hurts her a lot. Of course I’ll apologize, but only after the match is over. I will be the WINNER and earn myself a CHICKEN DINNER! Velvet can have a piece if she wants. Sharing is caring. President-dean-founder of the Cool School, Blue Pants, says so!
She gave two thumbs up, one with happy-face and one with stoic face.
Blue Pants: PEACE OUT GIRL SCOUTS!
Blue pants ran to the laptop the webcam was connected to and slammed it shut, ending the feed.
HEY GUYS! Oh…
Finally it went still and a face was seen. A happy one. And a not-so-happy one. Not that it was angry. It just wasn't happy.
Couches can’t talk. That’d be pretty weird. But pretty fun, too! Every time you sit on it it’d scream bloody murder.
One of EBWF’s latest signees, Blue Pants, was smiling with rosy cheeks as she sat down next to her guest. Or her host. She didn’t know what to call her. Renee Young tried hard to not look so weirded out. But she sucked at hiding it.
Renee Young: Are you sure this’ll stream to the website? It’s a live stream…
Blue Pants: Pffft, you bet I’m sure! I paid a guy in the room next to me to set it all up!
Renee blinked a couple of times and looked down at her cue cards and placed them on the floor, simply hoping for the best. At this point she knew it wouldn't be "that" type of interview.
Renee Young: I felt it was appropriate to interview you and get to know you better, since the last time we met was just the first time we met.
Blue Pants: AWWWWW how nice of you! I bet we’re gonna be best friends.
Renee Young: Don’t get ahead of yourself now, we’re just getting started.
Blue Pants: Okay! I can do that. Hold my horses.
Renee Young: This week you’ll be in your first match in the annual Queen of the Ring tournament against a long-time EBWF woman Velvet Sky.
Blue Pants: Yeah, I think for my first match in the company that’s too dang cool. I really like Velvet Sky. She has pretty hair. Like a rainbow almost! Minus a few colors, but that’s ok. It’s a unique rainbow. Maybe she dyed it that way to complement her name!
Renee Young: ...That would make sense. But I wouldn’t know.
Blue Pants: Well I can tell you why I chose my name. Unless you want to guess!
Renee Young: I probably wouldn’t get it..
She was slightly sarcastic but that went right over Blue Pants head, which always seemed to be high in the clouds.
Blue Pants: I WEAR BLUE PANTS!
Her body snapped to her left to face the camera, and she gave a thumbs up. The viewers at home were in for a surprise.
Renee Young: Yep, you’re wearing them now. You know... That actually looks like really comfortable denim, where’d you buy--
Blue Pants: WHAT! TAKE THAT BACK!
Blue Pants stood on her chair so fast it alarmed Renee, who was now an high-alert herself, half-sitting/half-standing using the arms of her chair.
Renee Young: What?!
Blue Pants: THESE AREN’T DENIM, THEY’RE BLUE! I HATE DENIM! IT’S NOT COOL!
Her voice rose to a high volume and echoed in the room as she yelled at Renee. The way she said it sounded like a cult-cheerleader chant.
Renee Young: ...Then I take it back?!
The wrestleista slowly sat back down in her chair and wiped at her brow, pretending to wipe sweat away.
Blue Pants: Phew! What a cool down.
Her guest also sat back down in her chair slowly, trying not to make sudden movements.
Blue Pants: But yeah I have my first match EVER here against Velvet Sky!
Renee Young: ...Would you like to say anything to her at this time?
Blue Pants: Sure definitely of course! HI VELVET! In case ya didn’t know, I’m BLUE PANTS!
She flashed another big happy face and a thumbs up at the webcam.
Renee Young: Why do you keep doing that?
Blue Pants: Oh the people watching can see stuff we can’t. Special effects. I set it up with gesture matching control stuff. It’s NEAT!
Renee Young: So you can add special effects but don’t know how to set up your own camera?
Blue Pants: That’s right. I’m a woman of many talents. Velvet Sky will get to see that preeeettty soon! She’s gonna be SCHOOLED!
Renee Young: What exactly does that entail?
Blue Pants: Oh I forgot, you’re a new applicant. Well the Cool School is gonna be the business around here. A business in the business. Also inception because stuff is gonna be inside other stuff and it can get weird and trippy. There are a lot of courses people of the Cool School can enroll in. As the founder/president/dean/sport coordinator, I made sure flashy karate was a MUST. So Velvet Sky can expect to get roundhouse kicked, throat chopped, head butted, and/or hip tossed. I also know how to kamehameha but I haven’t learned how to throw the colors in there yet. It’s still a work in progress. Deadline is coming up soon though so maybe I should get on that…
Blue pants started thinking thoughtfully to herself. Renee attempted to bring her back.
Renee Young: Tell us more about this Cool School.
Blue Pants: Oh. yeah the COOL SCHOOL! Bayley and I are the only people part of it at the moment, but we hope to get the universe to become our biggest fans! The WORLD even! We want to have the biggest alma mater on the PLANET! And I know one way to get people on the bandwagon is to start winning. So hold onto your butts because it’ll be a wild ride for EVERYone watching! Wheels will fly off and horses will run free, but they can’t be stallions because that’s very dangerous and illegal. I learned that in Horse 101.
With a sharp, affirmative nod Blue Pants gave yet another smile.
Renee Young: I may have to follow up on my comments from last time… This doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.
Blue Pants: GREAT! There’s always an open seat for anyone willing to learn cool stuff. Bayley and I are even gonna start online video courses soon so be on the lookout!
Renee Young: What else can we expect from Blue Pants, and Bayley as well?
Blue Pants: Well Bayley didn’t wanna be here this time, she wanted to rest and get a break from me. Totally understandable. Being a best friend is hard work and must be so exhausting! But like I said, we will be singing about the Cool School for yeaaaaaars. And so will you. And you EBWF universe. And YOU! Man next door who helped me set up the webcam!
There were three solid knocks heard through the wall. The usually confident and poised Renee was startled.
Renee Young: What was that?
Blue Pants: Oh that’s just the guy next door, he said he’d knock when he’d had enough fun watching us. That was pretty fast though! I guess time flies when you’re having fun, huh?
Renee Young: That was on cue though… How did he know when to knock?
Blue Pants: Oh gosh you’re so forgetful silly goose, I told you he has a live feed to his room!
Renee Young: WHAT?!
Her face turned pale and she looked like she might vomit. In a matter of seconds we heard the door slam shut. Blue Pants was staring deadpan at the door before snapping out of her neutral look.
Blue Pants: Wow what an exit! I guess she had to go somewhere. She’s a busy woman. Doing interviews and other stuff fancy-pants interviewers do. That’s ok, because I’m a certified interviewee, courtesy of the Cool School! I can play both interviewer and guest at the same time, I even have different voices I can do.
Blue Pants [Deep Voice]: What would it mean to be Queen of the Ring, Blue Pants?
Blue Pants: Good question, Blue Pants! I’d much rather be COOL than a Queen, but winning a tournament is guaranteed to get people thinking you’re cool. Being the winningest of them all sure does it. So to keep it short it means a LOT!
Blue Pants [Deep Voice]: Do you have anything specific to say to Velvet Sky, Blue Pants?
Blue Pants: YEAH! You always have to speak your mind or else your thoughts just build up and then it feels like you have to take a crap. But with words. Velvet Sky has done a lot in this company. She is a good competitor so I need to watch my back. Not in the match though or else she’d just get my in the front. I’ll look her dead in the eye and kick her to the MOON if I have to! Even if it hurts her a lot. Of course I’ll apologize, but only after the match is over. I will be the WINNER and earn myself a CHICKEN DINNER! Velvet can have a piece if she wants. Sharing is caring. President-dean-founder of the Cool School, Blue Pants, says so!
She gave two thumbs up, one with happy-face and one with stoic face.
Blue Pants: PEACE OUT GIRL SCOUTS!
Blue pants ran to the laptop the webcam was connected to and slammed it shut, ending the feed.
