DC 6.20: Body Art

[Derek]

[OoC: I will be with the wife's family on a trip to Wisconsin this weekend, then have a doctor's appointment on Monday, so I thought I should write this now in case I don't get another chance! Best of luck to Juan, we meet again!]
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We find ourselves in the EBWF interview area with everyone’s favorite interviewer, Renee Young.

Renee: Please welcome my guest at this time---

She is cut off by a loud “SQUAW!” and the entrance of the jumpsuited marvel. He leans in towards the microphone as the Boys strike a pose behind him.

Dalton: Saluntations. Oh! Well, aren’t you a pretty little thing. I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Dalton Castle. And THESE! Are my boys.

Renee: Yes, I am here with Dalton Castle and the boys, and Dalton, you have had a very successful beginning to your EBWF career, scoring victories over Damien Sandow—

Dalton: Correct.

Renee: And Evan Bourne---

Dalton: That’s also true.

Renee: And this week, you will be fighting for a spot in the quarterfinals of the King of the Ring tournament, and your opponent is CM Punk. What are your thoughts?

Dalton: Fanciful. My thoughts are fanciful. Often they revolve around cute animals I have seen on the interweb, but sometimes they’re just about food. I probably spend a good 35 percent of my day thinking about what I’m going to eat.

Renee: I see. And how do you feel about facing CM Punk?

Dalton: CM PUNK! Oh, this is a day I’ve been looking forward to for a loooong time. Come closer, boys, I have a story to tell you. NOT THAT CLOSE, RESPECT THE FRAMING! Anyway, boys, there used to be a territory system in American wrestling, and if you were good enough, it was relatively easy to move from one place to next. Then the territory system died and was replaced by the independent scene, and there became a great divide between the independents and the major leagues. It was nearly impossible to make the leap. But CM Punk was one of the first to show that you could step up out of the independents and be a star player in the big promotions, he opened the door out of Ring of Honor that we stepped through to get here. And by that I mean, he’s an OLD HORSE and I’m PUTTING HIM OUT TO PASTURE!

The boys step back into their pose.

Dalton: I respect Cookie Monster but I’m not intimidated by him. So you have tattoos? Well, I got ‘em too! Look at this…

He pulls up his sleeve, revealing a crudely drawn green lizard with one wing and one beefy arm.

Dalton: This is a dragon! It represents ferocity, and power, and cool flame designs! And this here…

He points to a black mark on his cheek.

Dalton: This is a tear drop. Do you know what a tear drop tattoo means, Renee? It means I have been KILLING IT. CM Punk, if that even is his real name, he thinks he’s tough because he has tattoos, well I will let you know I barely even cried when I got these. And that was just because I’d watched Finding Dory last night. It’s an emotional rollercoaster, sometimes they were happy tears and sometimes they were the other kind, and I am man enough to admit that.

Renee: Getting back to the match, how have you been preparing for what is the biggest match of your career thus far?

Dalton: I’ve been watching tape, Renee, that’s what a smart competitor does, and I mean that literally, I used a VCR. I saw you between the scanlines, Punk, there is nothing you can throw at me that I won’t see coming a mile away! You like to use your muai thai, well I prefer to make a mai tai. You like to put people to sleep, well I’m NOT TIRED! I can go all night, Curfew Man!

He raises an eyebrow at Renee.

Dalton: Get your mind out of the gutter, Young, I’m talking about wrestling. Yes, that’s right, wrestling! Greeks and Romans. I’ve studied their ways. I like the way they think. And I like the way they FIGHT. When it comes down to it, Punk, you just don’t have what it takes to beat me. I’m younger, I’m stronger, I’m more virile and handsome, and I’m the better wrestler. And if you want to tango mano a mano, well…INK ME!

He holds out his hand to one of the boys, who quickly writes on it with a magic marker. After they finish, he turns it to the camera, his knuckles spelling out P-U-N-K.

Dalton: I’ve got a fist, with your name on it.