Sandwiches are tasty

[Benjamin]

**The scene opened with Renee Young standing outside of Alex Shelley's locker room.**

Renee Young: Ladies and gentlemen I am standing by with former EBWF champion, Alex Shelley. Alex, what are your thoughts on your upcoming tag team match with "Reborn" Matt Sydal against Cesaro and Bray Wyatt?

Alex Shelley: My thoughts, my thoughts, yes. I'm sorry, I'm still processing the very new and exciting information that Matt Sydal is 16 years pro. 16 years? That is a really long time! I mean, I've been wrestling for 14 years but who's counting right? Erm, Matt Sydal. He's counting. That's all the guy ever talks about, but I digress! Matt Sydal is one hell of an in ring competitor which is a good thing because he can't just get by with just his charisma and his excellent name dropping skills. Somehow we need to find a way to get on the same page and take on the, um, "interesting" tag team of Bray Wyatt and Cesar. Talk about strange bedfellows. I'm sorry, I didn't need that mental image. The eater of worlds meets the eater of swiss cheese! Personally, I'm the eater of sandwiches. Sandwiches made for me by very, very attractive women, mind you! Did I mention I'm single, Renee? You look like you made a damn good sandwich. Uhh, digressing again. You know my ex told me she doesn't like my hair. I figured if I go a few more days without shaving I could join The Wyatt Family. Wouldn't that be fun? I could stand idly by in the background while Bray Wyatt hurls his verbal diarrhea and just be happy that I'm not getting hit by any of the crap. It still stinks, though. There's not all that much to dislike about Cesaro. He is bald, though. I don't like bald people. They look like little penises. I suppose I shouldn't have said that one either, huh? Here's the bottom line: I was in a tag team once. More than once in truth, but I was a part of this group called the Detroit Brooklyn Connection with my old friend Homicide about 10 years ago. We never really took off, but it served as a vessel to launch me high up into the EBWF stratosphere and become the face of the company. Sometimes to go forward you have to go back, and that brings us to tonight. Bray Wyatt, Cesaro, you better watch yourself because there are a lot of submission holds and I think I could muster 3 or 4 of them so chances are you're really going to, uh...not like it and stuff! Hash tag #StillBetterThanSydal!

**Alex walked away and the scene faded.**