Monster Matt!

[D.J]

The Miz had failed in his quest to be the number one contender for the PTG Championship- and was once again back to the drawing board when it came to maneuvering his way through the EBWF landscape. He had been out of action for a couple of weeks, but was set to return back to TV in a one on one match against Matt Sydal at EBWF Warfare. As he often was after a loss, The Miz would surely be extremely focused and ready to get back to his winning ways, to once again regain momentum in his quest to once again becoming the EBWF Champion.

The scene opened up to a computer screen in the main shot. A cursor was seen on the screen and it began to move to the top of the home page. The cursor clicked and youtube.com was typed in. The page loaded quickly and the cursor moved into the search area, it clicked in once again and "The Miz- Matt Sydal promo" was typed in. The top hit was what the cursor clicked next. The camera zoomed into the screen and soon the video became what we were viewing. It was The Miz- dressed to the nines in a 3 piece Armani dark gray suit. Next to him was Alex Riley was dressed in an expensive pin striped suit. Both guys had their hair gelled and looked extremely suave. Alex Riley broke the silence.

Alex Riley: What's up youtubers? We are happy that you took a break searching for porn in order to stop in to our channel and view this video.

The Miz: Who searches for porn on you tube?

Both men looked directly into the camera, and dramatic music played. Both men had a small chuckle.

Alex Riley: Today, yours truly, A-Ri.. in support of my budding career as a broadcast journalists.. have scored an extremely big interview. You may be thinking "how big." Bigger than The Big Show's ass big...

The Miz: Really? That's the best you could come up with there? We got a long way to go.

Alex didn't let this break his flow.

Alex Riley: In any event- this is a huge interview.. it's an interview with by far the biggest star in the EBWF. An interview with a man that you better not leave around your girlfriend.. an interview with a man who will knock your teeth out and then flash a million watt smile after he's done to make you feel bad. A man who your favorite wrestler.. would call his favorite wrestler.. I'm talking of course about... The Miz.

The Miz: Aw shucks..

Alex smiled.

Alex Riley: Miz- you are coming off a tough defeat in a match that would have made you the #1 contender for the PTG Championship? What are your thoughts on that?

A Ri rested his closed fist on his chin.

The Miz: Hard hitting question A-Ri. My thoughts on that are ... well I'm not happy. I obviously would have liked to have become the number one contender for the PTG Championship- that would have made becoming the EBWF Champion- a whole hell of a lot easier. Though despite that Alex.. as always I trek on.. saving the EBWF one awesome match.. one awesome move.. one awesome smile at a time. I'm upset.. I'm frustrated.. and this Monday Night I have been given the gift of all gifts to cure being upset and frustrated.. I've been given a match with the ONE.. THE ONLY.. THE REBORN.. MATT SYDAL.

Alex Riley: He's reborn? Like he died?

The Miz: No, I think he means it like in the way born again virgins say they are virgins.. even though they were like big sluts.

Alex Riley: Mmmm big sluts..

The Miz: FOCUS Al!

Alex Riley: Right sorry.. anyway.. I get it.. actually I really don't. So like he sucked.. and now he's like "reborn" so he's supposedly not gonna suck anymore..

The Miz: Right..

Alex Riley: But.. he still kind of sucks.

The Miz: Yes he does. I heard him cut an interview with Graves.. he really didn't talk much trash. It felt like he was one of those guys in high school that was trying to be nice to me- on the outside chance I had an extra spot in my limo on prom night. Bad news Matt.. no open spots in the limo.. no I won't ask any of my hot single friends if they like you more than a friend.. and on Warfare despite the fact that you said a lot of pretty nice and not so bad things about me.. I'm still going to give you an ass kicking.. and probably even a swirley.. nerd.

Alex started cracking up.

Alex Riley: Yeah I mean seriously.. what a little kiss ass.. nothing more annoying isn't that right awesome one?

The Miz gave a knowing smile.

The Miz: Honestly- like I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that. Like what do you want little guy? Why so nice? Do you like want me to adopt you or something tiger? Do you want me to bring you back to my huge mansion and like make you do your homework every night? I'm not sure what this is.. like the great Cal Naughton Jr. once said in the cult classic Talledega Nights.. "I'm a little confused by your tactics.. so I'm gonna just keep acting tough.. until I figure it out." We aren't going to become friends Matt.. like you threw that little line in about my teeth.. and my frog face.. but let's face it man.. I'm no frog.. I'm about as good looking as one man can be.. this money maker could start wars.. and it has.. and you'd need a step ladder to reach my teeth with your fist let alone your feet.. I don't care how high you can jump. Like what do you really think is going to happen here? You've had just about enough miracles at my expense over the years.. don't think I haven't forgotten about being hit with a lead pipe, or any of the other stuff you've tried to pull over the years back when you actually kind of mattered around here. I haven't been reborn.. I remember everything in the past extremely vividly, and if I didn't fully teach you the lesson then.. I'll give you a long overdue loud and clear message on Monday night.. and send you back out of this business once again.. so you can be a born again McDonald's drive thru employee.. at least that way you can get a discount on Happy Meals..

Alex Riley: Hah! Cause he's small.

The Miz: Right.. and dare I say it Al.. after Monday Night.. Happy meals are about the only thing that is going to make him happy.

Alex Riley: Hah! Cause you're going to kick his ass.. and make him sad.. very very sad.

The Miz: Right.. man you are insightful.

Alex Riley: So what you're saying is.. you are definitely going to beat Matt Sydal? Is that.. I mean is that the point you are trying to make?

Alex once again put his closed fist on his chin.. what a tool.

The Miz: Wow.. I mean it's like you can see into my soul- you're truly good at what you do. Yes I'm going to beat Matt Sydal.. that is definitely the point I'm trying to make. The fact that I'm even facing Matt Sydal again is a huge joke.. and I'm not laughing...

The Miz busted out in laughter.. as did A-Ri.. who seemed taken aback at first, but quickly joined in.

The Miz: Okay.. so I'm laughing a little.. I mean how could I not? I'm facing Ev.. Matt freaking Sydal... in a wrestling match. Not like a who can do a 720 off a diving board contest.. not a who can fit inside a mouse hole contest.. a wrestling match. Now in case you or anyone else in this world has forgotten.. I'm literally.. THE BEST.. professional wrestler on planet earth.. and if you don't believe that.. check the resume. So excuse me if I'm a LITTLE confident that I have a TINY chance to beat someone with such a SMALL amount of ability at Warfare.

Alex Riley: I see what you did there.. you are a wizard with adjectives Miz.. those were all synonyms meaning short.. because Matt is short.

The Miz: Who taught you the word synonym?

Alex Riley: I've been really preparing for this interview bro.. how am I doing?

The Miz: Couldn't be going better man. Just like Warfare will come and go- and there will be no way that it could have gone any better for me- when it's through. Matt you came into this company awhile back and you had a bit of flash in the pan success. You jumped, you flipped, you did your little I'm a pilot thing because.. get this you FLY through the air in the wrestling ring.. so freaking clever.. then something happened. You got tired of people looking at you like you were a little pansy. So you decided to get mean.. you decided to stop being polite and start getting real..

The Miz winked into the camera after uttering The Real World's tag line.

The Miz: And boy what a great decision that was.. it REALLLLLLY worked out for you... except.. that it hasn't. I mean you even said it yourself in again.. I can't stress this enough one of the weirdest interviews in EBWF history.. you said something to the effects of "if you lose that you would fall down further in this business than you already have." What is that a fish for a compliment? Am I supposed to say.. "hey man.. you aren't far down.. you're great." Well if that's what you want then.. too damn bad.. I'm not going to say it.. because you ARE that far down.. and you ARE NOT great.. you're terrible actually.. like one of the worst people I've ever seen on the microphone.. in the ring you.. I mean.. I guess you're a high flier or whatever.. but like I don't think you're going to be able to jump that high when I'm planting you face first into the mat.. so I mean you're actually pretty pathetic.. but I don't even feel like I need to tell you that.. judging by your promo.. it feels like you already know. I'd tell you I'm going to beat you up.. but it feels like you've already done that enough to yourself. With that said.. I'm definitely going to beat you up.. weirdo.

Alex Riley: Gonna beat the sheeeeet out of you.. bro!

The Miz smiled.

The Miz: What was it he said? "I don't want to beat you.. I need to beat you" Ha REALLY? You need to beat me? Bad news chief.. you NEED a clue if you think that is actually going to happen. It's nice to want things.. it's nice to need things.. but let me give you a little bit better of a lesson about those two things. You see Matt- I want to laugh every day.. so I NEED to go through this match with you.. because boy will it give me a big chuckle. I want to feel better about the fact that I'm not on my way to becoming the PTG Champion.. so I need this match with you.. so that I can just beat the holy hell out of you.. to put a smile on my face. I want to be the EBWF Champion again.. so I need... well OK I don't need this match against you for that.. because beating you is basically the equivalent to a normal man stepping on a bug.. like everyone's appreciative because the bug is annoying.. similar to how you're annoying.. but nobody is going to give the bug stepper onner a trophy or anything.. I will become the EBWF Champion again very soon.. but it won't be because I was able to sneak by the immortal Matt Sydal.. but you already know that.. you're well aware where you stand around here.. just incase you forget though I'll remind you for a good five minutes.. before I get bored.. and decide to call it a night.

Alex Riley: Can we get beers after?

The Miz: Obvi..

Alex Riley: Last question... can we get beers now?

The Miz: Yes indeed-a-roo

Alex Riley: Indeed-a-roo?

The Miz: It's a new thing I'm saying.

Alex Riley: I like it.

The Miz smirked: Of course Alex liked it.

The Miz: So anyways Monster Matt.. see ya at Warfare.. I'll be the guy winning.. because as you already know big guy.. I'm The Miz.... and I'm....Awesome.

The Miz winked into the camera and the scene faded to black.