The Hand That Feeds You

[D.J]

The Miz had gotten back on track with a victory over Dolph Ziggler a couple weeks back on Warfare. He seemed refocused, re-energized, and borderline locked in as of late. Say what you want about him (and people do) but he was certainly a superstar over the past 5-6 years that was able to really turn it on at times, and it seemed as though this may be another perfect example of that innate ability. Just when you think Miz was going to fall down the card, or into obscurity- like so many other superstars have in the past- he finds a way to squeak, weasel, or even power his way back into the spotlight. Longevity is a hard thing to come by in the world of Sports Entertainment- and The Miz was quickly becoming one of the "old guys"- not as much in age- but in experience. The only way you get that distinction, is to be crafty and cunning enough to last year in and year out. Wrestling fans are as picky as they come, and you only save yourself from being ousted by the flavor of the month if you are constantly bringing something to the table that they respond to. The Miz certainly has done that- he remains one of the mainstays in the company- a face that people love to see, because they hate to see it. The Miz would have a shot to prove that he wouldn't be ousted by one of the newer faces in the EBWF, Kevin Owens, on Warfare. It was an important tilt for The Miz, as Owens is someone who has exploded up the EBWF rankings rather quickly, even facing Chris Jericho recently for the EBWF World Title. Owens was brash, he was confident, ruthlessly aggressive, and someone The Miz knew quite well. Owens was perhaps the biggest Muscle that the Miz had in his group The Vertex, which dominated TV for the 4 months Miz had been the companies World Champion in 2015. Owens along with the rest of the group had since left Miz behind, and Owens was one of the few that had gone on to green pastures. Perhaps Miz always knew that Owens was destined for bigger things, but he was a guy that Miz grew to really love during their time as stable mates. So to say that this match at Warfare was going to be important to him- was a large understatement.

The scene opened up at a radio studio in Birmingham, Alabama. The site of EBWF Warfare. In the scene- we immediately noticed a large recording room with the big numbers and letters that read 94.5 WJOX. The camera panned into the booth in which there was producers and behind the scene people looking in. In one chair sat Tony Kurre who was the host of "The Opening Drive" a popular sports radio show that aired 6AM-10 AM Monday Through Friday. Tony was dressed in a UAB windbreaker and blue jeans. Next to him was a more familiar face to EBWF fans. Dressed in an expensive gray suit, black button up, and gray tie was none other than The Miz- next to him as always- dressed in a blue suit, baby blue button up, and blue tie was Alex Riley. Both men looked extremely smug (didn't they always.) As they sat next to Tony in silence. After several beats, the shows producer counted them in, and Tony spoke.

Tony Kurre: Hello everybody and welcome back in to The Opening Drive- I'm your host as always Tony Kurre. We are joined now by two very special guests, you will see them both tonight at Legacy Arena- please welcome in former EBWF World Champion- The Miz- and his good buddy Alex Riley, welcome guys- it's a pleasure to have you on.

The Miz: Obviously Tony- I'm surprised they even have radio here in Alabama- I thought you guys would still be using paper cups and string to deliver messages to people.

Tony laughed as did The Miz and Riley- who abruptly stopped- and left Kurre continuing. Kurre seemed a little rattled but went to continue- he was cut off by Riley before he could get his next words out.

Alex Riley: No Miz- honestly I don't think they even use cups, plates, forks, or anything else for that matter. Disgusting.

The Miz: True- but not because they don't want to- it's just.. well they can't afford them.

Tony's head was going back and forth listening to the two men talk. Finally- he hopped back in.

Tony Kurre: Well speaking for the people- we do use utensils just fine- and we are evolved as a state to the point where we do have radio, and TV- it's really great!

Tony was being sharply sarcastic to show The Miz and Riley he wasn't going to take them downgrading him or the state. Miz kinda smirked and Riley kept a straight face.

Tony Kurre: Anywho- moving on. As I mentioned EBWF Warfare tonight at Legacy Arena- The Miz will be in action with A-Ri in his corner. Can you tell the people who they will see you going up against?

There was a beat.

The Miz: As if it really matters? I could be going up against the entire Alabama Crimson Tide- and I would come out on top- and if they want to try and prove me wrong on that I invite them to. You see Tony- people all across our business call me cocky, they call me arrogant, they think that I think that I can do no wrong. The reason they think that about me.. is because it's true. I'm all of those things, and it's not to cover up insecurities- it's because I'm pretty god damn amazing. I'm a guy that just when you think I'm gonna go away- after a loss- or any kind of a set back- I'm right back in your face- back and better than ever. I'm The Miz- I'm an institution- I am the biggest star- and I shine brighter than any other person in the history of this business. So yeah Tony- you did your research- I am in action tonight, and you want me to tell you who I'm going up against- I get it- it's a radio show you're doing your job- but I can't expect you to be able to relate to me enough to do it well, because A.) you obviously suck at it if you're working sports media in Alabama- and B.) nobody can relate to my point of view on anything, because nobody is anywhere near the stratosphere of my level of amazing. So to patronize you, and to boost the ratings of this show even more than I already have. I will oblige you- tonight at Warfare I am going up against Kevin Owens. Kevin is a fat, smelly, slob of a man who eats mayo straight outta the jar, probably has sex with his sister- because he can't get anyone else, and he definitely doesn't know his multiplication tables.. so in other words he will fit right in with everyone at the show tonight. I can already picture people in the stands yelling out "YEEE HAWW that there Kevin Owens loooks just like my Uncle Jim Bob and Aunt Betty Sue! I hope he wins! I hope he wins!" Well I got news for that pathetic waste of oxygen- he "AINT GON WINNNNNN" The reason why he aint gonnnn winnn.. is because he is facing me. Kevin Owens- is a guy that could have had everything in this business. He's a guy who I PERSONALLY made matter in Vertex, and then he- like everybody else became too god damn jealous of me- so he decided to venture out on his own. He's had a little bit success, and now all of a sudden his attitude has gone from "I'm lucky enough to be getting Miz Bacon Egg and Cheeses" to "Now everybody should look and pay attention to me.. and my jelly rolls." Its amazing how just a small amount of having any kind of success- can just make guys lose sense of who they really are. Fortunately- one of my favorite hobbies is reminding people the way of this world we call the EBWF, Tony. I love reminding guys like Kevin Owens why there are some guys who matter- and other guys who never truly will. Tonight- I will remind Kevin Owens why he should STILL be getting me those Bacon Egg and Cheese sandwiches- and why he shouldn't address me as anything other than "Oh Miz God of Awesome."

Alex Riley: He probably ate those Bacon Egg and Cheeses before he even got them to you, huh Miz?

The Miz: I like it.. cause he's fat right?

Alex Riley: Right.

The Miz gave A-Ri a nonchalant fist bump. Alex looked like he couldn't possibly be more proud of himself. As Tony spoke.

Tony Kurre: Kevin Owens is a guy who is widely considered to be one tough customer though. Don't you think you might under estimating what a physical contest this may be for you.

The Miz: Underestimating? Really? Is this guy serious A-Ri? No Tony.. I'm not underestimating anything, an estimate is an educated guess.. It's like Kevin Owens saying I estimate that I can eat... like 19 large pizzas in one sitting... get it A-Ri...

Alex Riley: Cause he's fat Tony..

Tony Kurre: I got it..

The Miz: It's a ball park statement- a "just about" kind of a claim. So by asking me if I think that I'm UNDER estimating Kevin Owens, is a god damn laugh riot... because I'm not ESTIMATING here at all. I'm telling you what actually is going to come to fruition- there's no "just abouts" - no "ballpark"- no "guesses"- this is a certainty, an iron clad telling of the future that is Warfare tonight. I am going to brutalize Kevin Owens- yes Tony- it will be physical, it will in fact be extremely physical, but not in a back and forth kind of way- more in a "holy shit The Miz is way too god damn good for Kevin Owens- and everyone else- kind of way." Kevin Owens is going to get bounced around like a pinball, and I'm not even going to mess my hair up while I'm doing it. You see- Owens had a lot to say about how I'm just a "pretty face" and how I can't really bring it in the ring. To which I'll say "obviously I'm a pretty face." On top of being an amazing performer- I'm also the best looking guy that this company has ever seen.. it's amazing I have enough time to be successful in the ring- my little black book would upset you Tony- and probably some people in your family... BUTTT luckily when you are as great as me you ALWAYS find time to showcase your greatness. So big Kev- I can definitely bring it in the ring, and I'm going to show you that tonight, and look damn good, flashing a million watt smile and a staggering money maker- just to rub it in more that I'm a "have" and you Kev are a "have-not," in every way imaginable. You could always see the jealousy oozing out of him, like someone popped one of his back pimples..

Alex Riley: His bimples...

The Miz smirked.

The Miz: Right- he was like the loner loser in high school talking about the popular kid. "Who cares that he's good looking.. I'm number 1 ranked in Warcraft.. so that's more important anyway... who cares that he's dating a hot chick.. I have my playboy's right here whenever I want to look at them." You always have- and you still want to be me Kev- and it's never been more obvious than it is right this second. Except that will change too, because after our match on Monday Night- you'll really REALLY want to be me.. because I'll be the guy at a 5 star restaurant- if Alabama even has one- and you'll be the guy in the hospital- while toothless doctors named Thumper will be reading "Being a Doctor for Dummies" while they try to give you medical care. It really couldn't be more pathetic listening to you- you act like you don't have time to talk- or that you don't care about anything but fighting and hurting people- yet you seemingly only just talk- and don't really do much fighting or hurting people. I love to talk..

Tony Kurre: We've noticed..

The Miz: Please don't interrupt me..

Alex Riley: What's wrong with you Tony?

Tony Kurre: I thought this was my show.

The Miz: Right now it's my show.. just sit there and listen.. Alex give him the candy bar.

Alex pulled out a Snickers and handed it to Tony.

Alex Riley: Here eat a snickers..

Tony Kurre: Why?

Alex Riley: Because you're interrupting The Miz when you're hungry.. and that's something you should never do.

Tony Kurre rolled his eyes, but sure enough unwrapped the candy and began eating it.

The Miz: As I was saying.. I like to talk.. I also like to fight and hurt people.. so today.. much like me.. is perfect. Right now I'm talking and later on at Warfare I'll be fighting.. and rest assured hurting people.. and when I say people.. I mean you big Kev... I mean you.

Tony Kurre: Is it okay for me to ask another question?

The Miz: See already liking you better now that you've had that Snickers.. yes Tony go ahead.

Tony Kurre: Thank you- I've also heard tonight that AJ Styles and Chris Jericho will sign their contract for their upcoming World Title match. Will this fact distract you at all, you think?

The Miz looked at A-Ri, then back at Tony. Surprisingly, this question didn't seem to rattle The Miz at all.

The Miz: No it won't distract me. I've kind of made peace already with the fact that this is what AJ Styles is- and this is what he does. He sucks for awhile.. goes away.. and then he comes back and people get excited because he wears like hooded sweatshirts and has cool theme music. Then when he's back for a couple months, they are like "oh right.. he sucks still." So as I always do I'm just going to bide my time through the part where people seem to care about what this low life does and says.. and when it's over again.. which it will be soon.. that is when I will do what he won't be able to do, and that is dethrone that fossil Chris Jericho.

Tony Kurre: Right, but didn't Jericho already beat you twice in a row?

Tony kind of had a shit eating grin on his face as he said that. Miz squinted at him, but than again answered surprisingly calm.

The Miz: Yes, but I'm telling you right now- as clear as I can speak- that the next time we are in the ring together that I am going to win.. and because I'm saying it.. it's true. I don't like to talk about flukes.. let alone flukes that happen two times in a row.. because it's creepy and weird- and it kind of brings creepy and weird into my normal vibe of amazing and great.. I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from.. like not you personally Tony.. since you are kind of creepy and weird yourself.. but I'm sure you can recognize how someone as amazing and great as I am could possibly feel that way... but to your original question.. there is NOTHING on earth that can distract me from Kevin Owens tonight. I don't care if Jennifer Lawrence is ring side wearing nothing but dental floss.. A.) Because I'll just call her later... and B.) because I'm going to be so focused in on the task at hand- and the ONLY thing that is going to matter to me in that moment Tony- is showing Kevin Owens why he's right about the fact that I'm not the same guy I once was back when he was wrestling in middle school gyms and getting paid in Butterfingers- I'm BETTER. "Not World Championship material." Kevin you aren't good enough to shine my 5,000 dollar shoes.. and that's why I don't let you do that anymore.

Alex Riley: That's my job now!

Miz and Alex fist bumped again. Tony didn't know quite what to make of this.

Tony Kurre: Well we had a few more questions, but I think we are gonna run out of time, so any big thing you want to tell the people who will be in attendance tonight?

The Miz: I'm just going to ignore the fact that there was actually a time limit on me Tony. If I was you- and holy hell thank god I'm not- I would want someone like me to be on all morning. This is the first time that people care about your show.. since.. well ever. Anyways- EBWF Warfare tonight.. you are going to see a bunch of superstars doing their best Miz impression- and then you are going to get to see the real thing- and the real thing, the real deal, the greatest of the great, cream of the crop, your favorite wrestler's favorite wrestler, The Miz is going to be beating some common sense and some intelligence into the head of an ingrate who has none of either. Kevin Owens, is truly biting the hand that feeds him.. this time on purpose and not just because he really likes the cheetos I used to feed him in his cage. I gave Owens everything- I put him in private jets- I paid girls to look past his raggety beard and the fact that his love handles had love handles, and still act like they were interested in him. I made him- and what does he do to thank me? He leaves- and he talks down to me? HE talks down to me? That'd be like a middle school basketball player with one arm talking down to Lebron James about basketball.. Kevin- come back to us man- come back to reality.. rejoin planet earth.. because you are truly living in another alternate universe if you think I'm going to let you tell me- LET ALONE show me- that you are the better man, while standing in the ring with someone like me. Kevin Owens- is in SERIOUS need of a reality check- and he's without question about to get one. THAT is what I want to tell the people of Alabama that they can expect to see Tony, they can expect to see a look of just mind boggling disbelief on the face of Kevin Owens, because as SAD AS THIS IS.. he honestly believes that he is better than me. He honestly believes tonight is going to go well for him at my expense. You are going to see a man lose ALL of his confidence, when I plant him face first, and make him uglier than he is already. You are going to see a man- who BEGS me to let him carry my bags again, because he will SOON KNOW that he was BARELY worthy to do that, and now that he's done what he did.. HE ISN'T WORTHY any longer! You are going to see a man become a shell of himself- because he will realize he isn't even a SHELL of ME. You are going to see the most MUST SEE superstar in the history of this or any other business- do exactly what he does EVERY TIME he steps out into the spotlight.. and that is captivate MILLIONS of people- who have no choice but to simply look on.. admire.. and mother effin.. be jealous. Tony.. YOU are out of time.. let's go Al.

The Miz threw off his head set dramatically as did A-Ri.

Tony Kurre: Well there you have it folks. The Miz and Alex Riley- they seem

He chuckled.

Tony Kurre: Pretty fired up about tonight. Legacy Arena- doors open at 7 PM show starts at 8- EBWF Warfare! We will be right back after this..

The scene faded out to static. We reopened with a shot outside of Legacy Arena. It was starting to turn dark outside, as the camera quickly switched to inside the building. We were just minutes from the show going live on the air- and there were many people already in their seats. The arena booed their brains out as on the Tron, we saw The Miz and Alex Riley walking in, both in the same suits they had worn earlier that day at the Radio Station. Alex had a bag on each shoulder and Miz had nothing. He wore sunglasses (indoors.. tool) and barely paid attention to anyone he was walking by. Finally Michael Cole appeared behind them. This seemed to startle The Miz some.

The Miz: Michael- what have I told you about sneaking up from behind other guys?

Michael bowed his head.

Michael Cole: Save it for my weekends...

The Miz: Exactly. What do you want?

Michael Cole: I was hoping to get a quick word in tonight, as we are just minutes away from EBWF Warfare- in which you will go one on one with Kevin Owens.

The Miz: I'll give you a few quick words. Mismatch, beat down, embarrassment, STATEMENT. It's what tonight's match is, what I'm going to do to Kevin Owens, and what he's going to feel when I'm done with him. You see Michael, people can think what they want about me. They can say and feel however they god damn please, they always have and they always will.. but the fact is Cole.. I'm undeniable. My talent, my looks, my overall aura is one that is superior to every other person breathing.. so when I'm disrespected.. when I'm talked down to.. when I'm downplayed.. it doesn't sit well with me, mostly because it's just so god damn ridiculous. Especially coming from someone as underwhelming as Kevin Owens. So tonight in front of all these hicks in Alabama..

Loud boos from the crowd.

The Miz: I'm going to show him and EVERYBODY else- just why when you find yourself across from the best to ever do it.. it's best to just keep your mouth shut, and take your inevitable ass kicking like the sort of, frumpy, sweats barbecue sauce kind of man that you are, Kev. I'll see you out there tubby, I'll be the guy owning you.. because I'm The Miz.. and Michael as you and everyone else knows....I'm

The Miz whispered his final word.

Awesome.

The Miz winked into the camera and kept walking down the hallway, as Alex Riley pushed Cole out of his way and quickly followed behind The Miz, as the crowded rained down boos on the segment, and Warfare was set to begin.