Not a Jerk- A Realist.

[D.J]

The Miz looked like he was in good form heading into Fanniversary where he would be putting his EBWF Gateway Championship up for grabs against his favorite Frenemy AJ Styles. This week Miz would have a chance to pick up another victory, as he would would be going head to head with Eli Drake. Drake seemed like a hungry superstar, looking to make a name for himself in the EBWF. A victory over Dean Ambrose, had him feeling pretty good going into this match against the former 2 time World Champion. Something tells me though, that his confidence would not lead to a lack there of for The Miz.

The scene opened up zoomed into a computer. A cursor clicked into the web browser and typed in www.youtube.com. In the search box the cursor clicked in again, and this time typed "Miz and Mickie James- Eli Drake Interview" They then clicked search. A list of possible Miz videos came up, and cursor clicked on the first one. The Scene zoomed into a video where The Miz was dressed in a 3 piece suit. He wore his patented sunglasses, had his hair slicked all around and had the EBWF Gateway Championship over his shoulder. Mickie James wore a white blouse and black long skirt with stockings. Her hair was up in a bun, and she was really playing up this news reporter role. She asked the camera.

Mickie James: Rolling? Okay.

She cleared her throat, and had the cadence of a news anchor.

Mickie James: Ladies and gentlemen, I am here on the site of EBWF Warfare, and my guest needs no introduction. However, I'm receiving a pay check to give him one.. so here it goes. He is the best of the best, the cream of the crop, he puts the SUPER in Super Star- he is YOUR FAVORITE WRESTLER'S FAVORITE WRESTLER- He is unbelievably handsome- my man- and THE MAN- the EBWF Gateway Champion- He is- The Miz.

The Miz stuck a finger in behind his sunglasses and wiped a fake tear.

The Miz: That was beautiful, Mick.

Mickie got bubbly.

Mickie James: Thanks babe!

She quickly snapped back into character, as did Miz. He went back to the cocky stare he started the segment with.

Mickie James: Miz- first congrats on your win last week against Tomas..Tomee.. Tomahh.. whoever the heck you faced last week, and this week you will have a chance to earn your second win, in as many weeks, when you go one on one with Eli Drake.

The Miz took his sunglasses off briefly.

The Miz: I'm sorry Mickie... chance? A chance? Really? No.. it's not a chance Mickie- it's a certainty. I'm not really sure what the EBWF is doing lately. Like is this like Thanksgiving where they are just not trying to fill me up too bad before the big meal at Fanniversary? I mean they are DEFINITELY giving me the cheese and crackers.. and the celery and carrot equivalent of opponents. Eli Drake? What even is that? Eli Drake is my opponent on Monday Night? Eli Drake, Dummy? The only DUMMY is going to be Eli Drake- he's going to be the wrestler version of a crash test dummy, when I literally beat the living hell out of him next week. I like to be pushed, Mickie. I like to be challenged, and I don't know what's been going on lately with the powers that be here in this company, I don't know if they are just sacrificing people just to get rid of some of the dead weight around here.. but that's sure what it feels like. Do I want to make a statement to AJ Styles, that I'm out of his league? Of course I do. I just don't think a win over Eli Drake or that absolute jamoak last week are going to be what does it. I mean I like AJ, and I know he knows just how good I am, because I've shown it to him first hand, but how am I supposed to remind him when I'm consistently being placed in matches with nobody blowbody's like Eli Drake. So no, Mickie, I don't have a chance to beat Eli Drake, I WILL beat Eli Drake- it's not a chance- it's not a gamble- it's a blackjack Mickie- it's a blackjack.

Mickie James: Well if it was a Blackjack- technically it is a gamble- because you don't know you have blackjack until after you've already bet.

The Miz: I am the personification of a blackjack Mickie. I've already won before I even see what my opponent has. Hand is over.. "give me the chips"- like AJ Styles after smoking a J.

Mickie James nodded seriously trying so hard not to smile.

Mickie James: Thank you for clearing that up? Were you able to tune into his interview this past week going into the match? He alluded to the fact that he was nobody's stepping stone, and that you were going to be just a minor speed bump on his way to become the EBWF Champion...

There was a beat.

Mickie and Miz: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The two were dying laughing together, Miz wiped his eyes again, wiping away tears.

The Miz: Oh man.. so freaking adorable. This Joe Schmo- you Blow- thinks that he's going to be the EBWF Champion- yeah- and I'm going to be the King of England. Only difference is- I may have a shot. I'm strong- I'm a leader- and I have a money maker for royalty.

The Miz flashed a smile, before returning to a serious look.

The Miz: In all honesty Mickie, it's absolutely precious that Eli Drake clearly has a warped sense of what the reality is of this company. This is the EBW-Freaking-F.. this is the big time. It's the best of the best.. and I AM THE BEST OF THE BEST. I'm the EBWF Gateway Champion, and that's exactly how it's going to be.. UNTIL I- become the EBWF Champion. Eli Drake could probably go to Toys R Us and get a replica of that or any of our other titles, but that's about as close as he's ever going to get to actually winning one. Him saying he's going to be a champion here is basically like when little kids talk about wanting to be an astronaut or a cowboy when they grow up. It's fantasy.. it's make believe. Him facing me is a fantasy for him, he's probably watched EBWF for years while he ate spaghettios and went through his life in this business not mattering to anyone. He probably watched our show and fantasized about being in a match just like the one he's about to enter. The problem is- the reality is NEVER as good as the fantasy- and that is certainly the case here. I'm going to snap Eli Drake back into an extremely cold, an extremely harsh, and extremely rough reality. That reality is that he's not even good enough to hold my jock strap... and I don't wear a jock strap because I'm not a 12 year old playing little league, but if I did have a jock strap.. he wouldn't be able to hold it.

Mickie James: I'd hold it.

The Miz: Focus.. Mick.

Mickie James shook her head, remembering.

Mickie James: Right right.. well this has been compelling stuff. So far we've learned that Eli Drake has a vivid imagination, we've learned that you don't feel he is worthy to face you on Monday, and we've learned that you have not worn a jock strap since little league baseball. Anything else you'd like to share tonight as you head into this match on Monday?

The Miz paused to think for a second.

The Miz: There is- I don't want to sound insensitive.. or like a jerk.. because I'm neither of those things. What I am though, is a realist. I take this business extremely serious, and I'm not going to pull an AJ Styles and "blow smoke" up anyone's ass. So as much as I think it's adorbs that Eli Drake has all this unwarranted confidence, I'm not going to sit here and give him any kind of inclination that he could be successful against me.. because the pure fact is.. he cannot. I'm not going to sit here and say he deserves to be facing someone of my stature in this business.. because he does not. And I'm CERTAINLY not going to pretend that he's going to make it out of Warfare without catching an absolute and utter demolition of his confidence, his body, and his entire wrestling career- because HE WILL NOT.

Because Mickie...

I'm The Miz.

and I'm...

Awesome.

The Miz winked at the camera as Mickie nodded, and the scene faded to black.