Are We Human? Or Are We Dancer?
Posted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 8:43 pm
"ENOUGH!"
A voice from the dance floor of a club. The music abruptly cut and the DJ looked very concerned behind his decks. The dancers, all women, paused their movements and also had looks worry upon their face. Fandango was not pleased when he had learned who his first round opponent in the King of the Ring would be. There would be no merriment when he was in this foul of a mood and even the art of dance would have to be brought to a stand still. He stopped in the middle of the club, the colorful lights dying down, and brought the back of his palm to rest upon his forehead.
Fandango: This is..unacceptable.
A gasp came from the crowd around him. One of the dancers, a blond in dress suited for salsa dancing approached. Her hands rested upon his chest and she looked as though she had just heard the unfortunate news that her mother had just perished. Fandango's mood swings were that serious.
Dancer: Fandango..what is wrong?
Fandango: How could you possibly ask me such a question?
A bracket of the KOTR tournament printed on white paper was thrust forward. The dancer began to look it over and soon another gasp slipped from her slender lips.
Dancer: No!
Fandango: It's true.
The rest of the dancers came closer to hear the news but they moved forward with much hesitation.
Fandango: My hand written proposal to be a part of the Queen of the Ring has been..
Fandango inhaled sharply. It pained him finish this sentence and he knew it was going to adversely effect those around him as well.
Fandango: ..denied.
Shrieks and wails ran out. One woman even fainted. Fandango stood strong and would not allow any of the crushing disappointment to show upon his handsome face.
Dancer: No! Fandango! Why would they deny you?! It was a hand written proposal! Why?!
Fandango: I don't know. I. Don't Know.
He could not possibly fathom why he would not be allowed to compete against such a bevy of beautiful and lonely women.
Fandango: Quickly. Touch my rock hard abs. Tell me I'm beautiful.
The gidy dancer ripped open Fandango's white dress shirt and began to lovingly smooth her fingers across his defined stomach.
Dancer: Oh my. Such abs. You must work out at least twenty hours a day to achieve. Your beauty is unmatched the world over, Fand--
Fandango: NO!
Fandango cast the woman aside and she was caught by two other females. It like a scene straight out of a Spanish soap opera.
Fandango: It's not helping. I can't get this off of my mind. All of those lovely women who will never know the art of dance from my skilled hands. They will never be romanced by FAAAAHH-DAAAAAAHN-GO after our bodies embraced in the ring. They will never be impregnated by my powerful seed.
It was too much to bare. He had to sit down. Fandango eased into a booth and almost instantly one woman was clung to his waist and another on his shoulder.
Dancer: Fandango. Wait. Your first round opponent..
Fandango: Yes?
Dancer: He has a woman at his side. Surely upon witnessing your victory of this "Zack Ryder" she will flock to your side. She will demand to be taught the art of dance and there is no doubt in my mind that she will be unable to resist your charms.
Fandango: ..Kaitlyn..
It was true. Zack Ryder was dating one of the Diva's. Kaitlyn. And Fandango could easily envision her at his side. Dancing through the afternoon until dusk.
Fandango: I mean..it should be easy, shouldn't it? The only dance Zack Ryder knows is..
He half-heartedly began to fist pump into the sky while the ladies turned away. Appalled by having witnessed such disgraceful moves.
Fandango: If she could see what I could do..
Fandango unleashed a graceful shimmy which the girls applauded politely.
Fandango: ..she would come running into my arms without question. I have no peer when it comes to dancing and certainly this "Zack Ryder" is no form of competition. He must get dressed in the dark if his wardrobe is any indication. And that hair? ..There are no words to describe that monstrosity. This man undoubtedly has no idea how to properly care for a woman like Kaitlyn. I will rectify this post haste.
The dreariness was gone and now Fandango's confidence was practically pumping out of his body. One of the dancers approached and tapped him on the shoulder.
Fandango: Yes my dear? Speak quickly.
Dancer: I should inform you, Fandango. Zack Ryder has now taken what it is referred to as a "serious turn".
She handed him an 8x10 of Zack Ryder's new look. The spiked hair and sunglasses that Fandango was familiar with were gone and the former Breakout Champion carried a more earnest look to him. Fandango quietly studied the photograph.
Fandango: Hm. The hair is an improvement. But just slightly. While this is certainly more imposing than I had predicted..I am not worried. This is still the face of a man who cannot possibly please his woman as much as I can.
Dancer #1: But who could POSSIBLY know more about pleasing women than you, Fandango?
Dancer #2: No one, Fandango!
Dancer #3: Zack Ryder is no match for you, Fandango!
Fandango rewarded both ladies by gracing their chins with a stroke of his finger tips.
Fandango: It has been decided. I will liberate Kaitlyn from her chains that his buffoon has entangled her with. I can hear her body crying out to be saved. Can you all hear it?
Dancers: Yes Fandango!
Fandango: Zack Ryder will be taught a lesson. Multiple lessons. A wrestling lesson. A dancing lesson. And after I've had my way with Kaitlyn..a lesson in the matters of the heart. The heart knows what is true and what is real.
Dancer #2: Steal her away, Fandango! Hurt that fool!
Dancer #3: Yes Fandango! Make Ryder pay!
Women motivated Fandango and to say he was motivated now would be an understatement. He was ready to dispose of Zack Ryder to get exactly what he wanted.
Fandango: How badly will I defeat Zack Ryder? Tell me, ladies.
Dancer #2: Very badly, Fandango!
Dancer #3: He won't know what hit him, Fandango!
While he was soaking up his praise and admiration, another one of his endless supply of Fandangirl's approached.
Dancer #4: But Fandango..if you defeat Zack Ryder..you will have to continue in the tournament. Against..men.
They all waited with bated breath to see what his response would be.
Fandango: Then I shall become..King..FAAAAHN-DAAAAHN-GO! Lord of the dance!
Uproarious cheers sounded from the lungs of the women assembled women.
Fandango: Let the dancing continue!
The DJ cued up Fandango's theme music and dancing ensued once more. Fandango took a hold of the curviest and most ravishing woman he could find to be his partner. He flashed a smirk at the camera before he danced out of the picture.
A voice from the dance floor of a club. The music abruptly cut and the DJ looked very concerned behind his decks. The dancers, all women, paused their movements and also had looks worry upon their face. Fandango was not pleased when he had learned who his first round opponent in the King of the Ring would be. There would be no merriment when he was in this foul of a mood and even the art of dance would have to be brought to a stand still. He stopped in the middle of the club, the colorful lights dying down, and brought the back of his palm to rest upon his forehead.
Fandango: This is..unacceptable.
A gasp came from the crowd around him. One of the dancers, a blond in dress suited for salsa dancing approached. Her hands rested upon his chest and she looked as though she had just heard the unfortunate news that her mother had just perished. Fandango's mood swings were that serious.
Dancer: Fandango..what is wrong?
Fandango: How could you possibly ask me such a question?
A bracket of the KOTR tournament printed on white paper was thrust forward. The dancer began to look it over and soon another gasp slipped from her slender lips.
Dancer: No!
Fandango: It's true.
The rest of the dancers came closer to hear the news but they moved forward with much hesitation.
Fandango: My hand written proposal to be a part of the Queen of the Ring has been..
Fandango inhaled sharply. It pained him finish this sentence and he knew it was going to adversely effect those around him as well.
Fandango: ..denied.
Shrieks and wails ran out. One woman even fainted. Fandango stood strong and would not allow any of the crushing disappointment to show upon his handsome face.
Dancer: No! Fandango! Why would they deny you?! It was a hand written proposal! Why?!
Fandango: I don't know. I. Don't Know.
He could not possibly fathom why he would not be allowed to compete against such a bevy of beautiful and lonely women.
Fandango: Quickly. Touch my rock hard abs. Tell me I'm beautiful.
The gidy dancer ripped open Fandango's white dress shirt and began to lovingly smooth her fingers across his defined stomach.
Dancer: Oh my. Such abs. You must work out at least twenty hours a day to achieve. Your beauty is unmatched the world over, Fand--
Fandango: NO!
Fandango cast the woman aside and she was caught by two other females. It like a scene straight out of a Spanish soap opera.
Fandango: It's not helping. I can't get this off of my mind. All of those lovely women who will never know the art of dance from my skilled hands. They will never be romanced by FAAAAHH-DAAAAAAHN-GO after our bodies embraced in the ring. They will never be impregnated by my powerful seed.
It was too much to bare. He had to sit down. Fandango eased into a booth and almost instantly one woman was clung to his waist and another on his shoulder.
Dancer: Fandango. Wait. Your first round opponent..
Fandango: Yes?
Dancer: He has a woman at his side. Surely upon witnessing your victory of this "Zack Ryder" she will flock to your side. She will demand to be taught the art of dance and there is no doubt in my mind that she will be unable to resist your charms.
Fandango: ..Kaitlyn..
It was true. Zack Ryder was dating one of the Diva's. Kaitlyn. And Fandango could easily envision her at his side. Dancing through the afternoon until dusk.
Fandango: I mean..it should be easy, shouldn't it? The only dance Zack Ryder knows is..
He half-heartedly began to fist pump into the sky while the ladies turned away. Appalled by having witnessed such disgraceful moves.
Fandango: If she could see what I could do..
Fandango unleashed a graceful shimmy which the girls applauded politely.
Fandango: ..she would come running into my arms without question. I have no peer when it comes to dancing and certainly this "Zack Ryder" is no form of competition. He must get dressed in the dark if his wardrobe is any indication. And that hair? ..There are no words to describe that monstrosity. This man undoubtedly has no idea how to properly care for a woman like Kaitlyn. I will rectify this post haste.
The dreariness was gone and now Fandango's confidence was practically pumping out of his body. One of the dancers approached and tapped him on the shoulder.
Fandango: Yes my dear? Speak quickly.
Dancer: I should inform you, Fandango. Zack Ryder has now taken what it is referred to as a "serious turn".
She handed him an 8x10 of Zack Ryder's new look. The spiked hair and sunglasses that Fandango was familiar with were gone and the former Breakout Champion carried a more earnest look to him. Fandango quietly studied the photograph.
Fandango: Hm. The hair is an improvement. But just slightly. While this is certainly more imposing than I had predicted..I am not worried. This is still the face of a man who cannot possibly please his woman as much as I can.
Dancer #1: But who could POSSIBLY know more about pleasing women than you, Fandango?
Dancer #2: No one, Fandango!
Dancer #3: Zack Ryder is no match for you, Fandango!
Fandango rewarded both ladies by gracing their chins with a stroke of his finger tips.
Fandango: It has been decided. I will liberate Kaitlyn from her chains that his buffoon has entangled her with. I can hear her body crying out to be saved. Can you all hear it?
Dancers: Yes Fandango!
Fandango: Zack Ryder will be taught a lesson. Multiple lessons. A wrestling lesson. A dancing lesson. And after I've had my way with Kaitlyn..a lesson in the matters of the heart. The heart knows what is true and what is real.
Dancer #2: Steal her away, Fandango! Hurt that fool!
Dancer #3: Yes Fandango! Make Ryder pay!
Women motivated Fandango and to say he was motivated now would be an understatement. He was ready to dispose of Zack Ryder to get exactly what he wanted.
Fandango: How badly will I defeat Zack Ryder? Tell me, ladies.
Dancer #2: Very badly, Fandango!
Dancer #3: He won't know what hit him, Fandango!
While he was soaking up his praise and admiration, another one of his endless supply of Fandangirl's approached.
Dancer #4: But Fandango..if you defeat Zack Ryder..you will have to continue in the tournament. Against..men.
They all waited with bated breath to see what his response would be.
Fandango: Then I shall become..King..FAAAAHN-DAAAAHN-GO! Lord of the dance!
Uproarious cheers sounded from the lungs of the women assembled women.
Fandango: Let the dancing continue!
The DJ cued up Fandango's theme music and dancing ensued once more. Fandango took a hold of the curviest and most ravishing woman he could find to be his partner. He flashed a smirk at the camera before he danced out of the picture.