Eddie Edwards
The Sultan of Sleaze
1
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The scene opens on EBWF chief interviewer, Todd Grisham, sat alone in a dimly lit room upon a plush, red armchair. Wearing a black suit and clutching a clipboard close to his chest, he exhales deeply in frustration whilst occasionally checking his watch, his expression getting more and more unhappy as time passes by. Behind him is a large, plasma television resting upon a plastic stand, with the EBWF logo bouncing around the screen as a screensaver. Grisham looks out of camerashot to behind the machinery, and glumly shrugs his shoulders in annoyance, before beginning to get up to his feet. The movement is interrupted however by the sound of the door on the other side of the room slamming open against the wall, and Grisham visibly breaths a sigh of relief as he glances across to see who it is stepping inside. The camera-shot stays focussed ahead of the scene, and the lack of noise behind the view suggests that the guest is being less than polite to the people hosting him for an interview. The reasoning behind this becomes clear very quickly as the guest walks in front of the cameras, and we see it is none-other-than The Sultan of Sleaze, Eddie Edwards. Grisham holds out his hand in an attempt to shake Edwards’ hand, but the response is less than what he was hoping for.
Todd Grisham: Thank you for coming, Eddie, we’re hoping to get a good interview out of you and we’ve got some footage from earlier on today to show you as well, just to get your reaction to what’s been happening. That all sound good to you?
Edwards stops in his tracks, and stares blankly at Grisham from behind is now trademark RayBan shades. He continues to stare until Grisham awkwardly moves his hand back towards himself, rearranging his clipboard as he holds it in the other hand. Edwards turns towards the camera and slumps down into his seat, causing his long, purple, leather trenchcoat to crumple up beneath him and make some unsavory noises. His garish wrestling tights catch the light every now and again and send bolts of light off towards the faces of the crew members, who shrug it off so as to not frustrate the self proclaimed MVP of EBWF. After a few moments, Grisham takes a seat as well before turning towards Edwards and smiling. Again he is met by a less than polite response, as The Sultan of Sleaze completely blanks his friendly gesture and simply reaches into his pocket, taking the next few seconds to light up a cigarette and leave it resting between his lips. Grisham exhales, before turning towards his Director, who slowly counts him in before signaling that it’s time to begin.
Todd Grisham: Welcome, EBWF Universe, to another exclusive interview with one of EBWF’s many exciting talents, the newest member of the roster who has been more than open about his contempt for the rest of the roster, The Sultan of Sleaze, Eddie Edwards. Great to have you here Eddie!
He turns towards Edwards, who once again, unsurprisingly, doesn’t respond in a particularly friendly manner. This time however he does at least issue a clear non-verbal response, waving his hand in a ‘keep it going’ motion, implying that Grisham really ought to ask another question if he wants his guest to remain happy.
Todd Grisham: Uh, okay, right. Let me be the first one then to officially congratulate you on your successful debut last week, making relatively easy work of another of EBWF’s young debutants, Austin Aries. It must have been a very proud moment for you to pick up the victory on such a monumental stage, and it sets you well on the path to success here.
Edwards slowly raises one hand towards his face, and removes his RayBan’s from over his eyes at a painfully slow rate. The removal of his shades allows us to get a clear view of his eyebrow crinkling in bemusement and frustration, and the corners of his mouth dipping into a frown. He takes a long, deep drag on his cigarette before blowing the smoke out into the room, and after what feels like an absolute age, he responds to Grisham.
Eddie Edwards: I’m sorry, relatively? I made ‘relatively’ easy work of Austin Aries? You know what, maybe I was in a different match in my head to that which all of you were watching. My recollection of events is that I walked out to the ring to meet Austin Aries, and he did exactly what was expected of him. He lasted around five minutes with one of the greatest, brightest talents in the history of this industry. In my humble opinion, the guy more than overachieved. It was a clear mismatch from the moment the bell rang, and he should be thankful that he even had the chance to step inside the ring with me. I’m sure he learned a lot, and will remember the experience for an extremely long time.
Grisham stares at Edwards, not completely sure whether to take his self-promotion seriously or not, but quickly makes the decision to treat it as serious so as to avoid any form of confrontation. He nods politely at what the Sultan says, before looking down at his clipboard to refer to his notes. He smiles as he reads something on the board, and Edwards leans forward to try and catch a glimpse of what is so funny. Grisham however snaps back into the situation, and looks towards Edwards ahead of speaking to him on the next subject.
Todd Grisham: It’s worth noting that over the past few days, you’ve been indulging in the act of ‘tweeting’, making more enemies than friends by the look of things. Amongst others, the people who had issues with you and your behavior included Jimmy Jacobs, Ken Kennedy, Brian Kendrick, Velvet Sky, Chris Sabin, and none-other-than EBWF Chairman himself, Wes Ikeda. Some may say that making enemies so early on in your career is sure to give you some problems as time goes by, do you agree with that? Especially in the case of Wes Ikeda?
Edwards strokes his chin thoughtfully for a few moments, clearly being very careful and thinking through exactly what he is planning to say before he says it. He takes another drag of his cigarette, before taking a sip of water from the cup placed nearby for him to wet his whistle, and after a few moments, he finally looks Grisham in the eye and responds.
Eddie Edwards: I’ve never been somebody who will keep what they want to say to people locked up inside. If somebody is acting like an asshole, I’m going to tell them they’re acting like an asshole. If you look at my tweets from earlier on in the week, I was minding my own business, letting my fans know what was going on with my week, and people started getting involved in my shit. Sabin, the guy who hasn’t even debuted yet, started rambling on about the independent scene, the same scene he’s practically lived on for the past seven years, the jackass. I don’t even remember what the hell Kennedy said, but whatever it was I’m sure he was just tweeting to hear the sound of his own keyboard tapping, it couldn’t have been anything useful. Sky’s just a whore, whatever. Jacobs... He’s alright I suppose, sort of weird but he wasn’t too bad. Ikeda, well he’s a worse businessman than I ever realized. If you don’t know who your talent is, you probably shouldn’t be paying that talent a six figure salary with travel, accommodation and perks all included. I don’t know, I don’t run a business. But that’s what I think. I’m pretty sure the root of it all is jealousy and fear. Sabin wishes he was me, Sky wishes she could be with me, and Kennedy knows I’m coming for him. Ain’t no thing.
Edwards smirks arrogantly as he places his shades back over his face, and takes a final drag on his cigarette before dropping it onto the ground and stomping it out. Grisham looks on in shock at the gutsyness displayed by Edwards’ remarks, before slowly pushing his glasses back up his nose and returning his gaze towards the clipboard that now rests on his lap. He lets out a deep sigh before looking back at his guest and moving onto yet another subject in this fast paced interview.
Todd Grisham: Thank you for your open-ness, Eddie. Now moving onto tonight, you’re taking part in a dark match before the Pay Per View goes live, and you’ll be taking on Gillberg, the late nineties parody of his extremely successful almost-namesake. He actually recorded a video message for you earlier on this evening, and we’d like you to take a look at it now so we can see your reaction.
Edwards nods nonchalantly, before turning his attention to the large screen behind him. The pre-recorded footage of Gillberg’s promo is shown on the screen, and Edwards sits motionless as he watches in disbelief. Grisham watches the footage intently, almost as though its a serious piece of investigative journalism, and as the footage comes to an end he glances across at Edwards, awaiting some kind of response. He is left waiting for a few moments, before the Sultan eventually bursts out in a fit of laughter, holding his stomach with one hand in order to prevent his sides from splitting. After several seconds of laughter, he wipes a tear from beneath his eye and looks at Grisham.
Todd Grisham: Are you sure you’re not underestimating your opponent for tonight?
Edwards stares at Grisham for another few seconds, before dropping into another uncontrollable fit of laughter. He covers his hand with his face and his entire body convulses as he tries to contain his laughter, before once again wiping a tear from beneath his eye, and breathing slowly in order to try and regain his composure. He does eventually, and is able to actually speak.
Eddie Edwards: ...Are you freakin’ kidding me?! THAT is my opponent for tonight? That’s... That’s unbelievable. I don’t even know what to make of the video you just showed me. I literally have no idea what I can possibly say to you right now. A veteran he may well be, but he’s a veteran assface. The bald little bastard never accomplished anything of any worth, and quite why I’ve been booked against such a douchebag I don’t think I’ll ever find out. Yet more phenomenal management decisions from the people upstairs, I guess. Either way, I’m gonna go out there and do what I did last week, and what I plan to do every single week that I work in this organization. I’m gonna kick his ass, maybe kick him in the head too. Then I’ll make him tap the ‘eff out, because he has absolutely no chance whatsoever of defeating me. No chance. It’s about time I made another sacrifice, and I just wish I was live on Pay Per View so everybody could see me inflict the kind of damage that I know I can on this stupid little bitch who thinks he can handle me.
Edwards turns away from Grisham, and glares directly down the camera as he delivers his final line.
Eddie Edwards: Because I’m the Sultan of Sleaze... And I’m unbelievable.
With that, Edwards gets up off of the armchair and rips the clip-on microphone off of his self-promoting shirt, before throwing it to the ground with an amplified thud. The Sultan strolls past the camera with a slight spring in his step, before Grisham shakes his head and calls an end to the interview.
OOC: Little bit generic I know, but I've been little bit ill today and I'm not at my creative best. Thanks to Nick for at least giving me something to work with, even if I didn't totally do it justice, haha.