TAKE DEM' CLOTHES OFF, GURL

[Chloe]

The team formerly known as The Chick Busters had become somewhat estranged in recent months. Mostly due to A.J., the fun-sized member of the duo, being completely erratic and mostly bat-shit crazy. But whenever a situation arose where they could both have some spotlight, they reluctantly reunited for a common goal. A.J., the aforementioned tiny but insane one, stood in her locker room. She twirled a finger around one of her long pigtails and looked off into space while awaiting Kaitlyn's arrival. The former body builder entered the room shortly afterwords.

Kaitlyn: Hey. I guess we should start talking st--

A.J. Lee: Listen you. I want to be a champion again. I want to beat The Beautiful People. I don't want to lose to anyone named after a Marilyn Manson song. I don't. So YOU need to not mess up.

Kaitlyn: Mess up? All I do is spear people. It's pretty fool-proof.

A.J. Lee: Yes. But you MISS. A lot. I can't afford that. If I win this gold Trent is going to want to cash in on ME.

A.J. tugged lightly on the blue t-shirt that she wore that featured a cartoon version of her boyfriend riding a giraffe alongside Abe Lincoln.

A.J. Lee: I'll be a champion. And he'll be a World Champion. And we'll be all big, and shiny and important, okay? Just because you're dating Zack Ryder who doesn't do anything doesn't mean I want that rubbing off on me, alright?

Kaitlyn looked rather annoyed and she leaned in closer towards A.J.

Kaitlyn: YOUR BOYFRIEND DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SEX IS.

A.J.'s face twisted up and she opened her mouth to speak but closed it just as quickly. Her eyes closed tightly and she let out a deep breath.

A.J. Lee: Yes! Yes, he does! He comes up to me all the time and he's all "Let me smang it, girl".

Kaitlyn: SMANG it?

A.J. Lee: Yeah! All the time!

Kaitlyn: What does that MEAN?!

A.J. Lee: Smashing and banging.

Kailtyn put her hands on the sides of her head. She had severe doubts that even her own sanity even withstand having to be a champion alongside A.J.

Kaitlyn: What world do you live in where this actually happened?!

A.J. Lee: YOUR T-SHIRT HAS A UNICORN ON IT?! WHY DOES IT HAVE A UNICORN ON IT?!

Kaitlyn looked down at her dark green colored shirt that was NOW AVAILABLE AT EBWFSHOP.COM

A.J Lee: What does 8th Militia even MEAN?!

Kaitlyn: ...Well...uh...yeah...I have no idea.

A.J. Lee: Right! Exactly! So don't go telling me about how the world works! We'll beat Velvet and Angelina if you just let me do everything.

A.J. stood confidently with her fists pressed against her hips and her chest puffed outwards.

A.J. Lee: There's only two things they have that we don't.

Kaitlyn: The titles.

A.J. Lee: No! Big, stupid, woobly, bouncing boobs! ..I guess, technically that would be four things we don't have.

Kaitlyn: Ahem.

Kaitlyn cleared her throat. She was pretty well endowed herself.

A.J. Lee: Alright, that's four things that I don't have! But I have a much, much nicer butt than either one of them.

A.J. copied Velvet's ring entrance rump shake and Kaitlyn turned her sight towards the ceiling.

Kaitlyn: No.

A.J. Lee: Look at it.

Kaitlyn: Nope. Not doing this.

A.J. Lee: LOOK AT IT! Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

Kaitlyn: Is there a POINT to anything you're saying right now in relation to our match?!

A.J. Lee: YES!

With one hand rested on her hip, she lifted a finger towards the ceiling

A.J. Lee: It's a complete and total fact that Velvet and Angelina are prostitutes. It's not debatable or subjective. It. Is. Fact. Why else would they dress the way they do? Prostitutes with titles that we need. So, we are going to go to their roots and show that we can do what they do...better than they do!

Kaitlyn:...Oooh. I really don't like the sound of that.

***

After the scene suddenly cut the pair were now under a darkened sky and were standing under a bright, flashing sign that said "Jumbo's Clown Room". A.J. looked primed and confident and Kaitlyn looked significantly less so.

Kaitlyn: A.J. This is a strip joint.

A.J. Lee: Uhm. It's called a "Gentleman's Club", Kaitlyn. That means that there are gentlemen inside. Probably with canes, top hats and monocles. Plus it's a CLOWN ROOM. Just follow my lead.

Both diva's headed inside what was obviously a strip club. A sort of upscale one but still a strip club. There was a big stage with chairs gathered all around but, curiously, there was not a top hat or monocle to be seen. It was brightly lit with large mirrors all around and a couple of poles to do stripper things on. A very excited DJ/Host/Whatever stood on the stage with a microphone.

Host: All right we've got some very special guests joining us! Two EBWF Diva's!

The crowd was even more excited than the host and they began to clap, holler and hoot. The host left the stage and A.J. came skipping out in her skimpy shorts and low-cut "Love Bites" t-shirt. She smiled out at the crowd with a microphone resting below her waist. The audience applause grew louder and A.J. began to impatiently shift her eyes to a corner of the stage.

A.J. Lee: Kaitlyn get out here.

There was a long silence.

A.J. Lee: ISAIDGETOUTHERERIGHTNOW!

Eventually, Kaitlyn came pushing out a smaller than typical piano. She's strong but not that strong so it has 'lil wheels to help her along.

Kaitlyn: I...don't know how to play the piano.

A.J. Lee: Sure you do.

A.J., still smiling widely, stepped to the head of the stage.

A.J. Lee: Helloooo gentlemen and gentlemen! We're the entertainment! This is going to be a little different than what you're used to! I KNOW that you're used to seeing The Beautiful People come out here and twerk or whatever for your gross, grimy dollars! I KNOW you're accustomed to watching Velvet shake her not really all that impressive butt for your amusement! I am fully aware that seeing Angelina and her flotation devices are what gets your heart pumping!

Only in A.J. warped little mind did The Beautiful People work as strippers on the side so the audience was very well confused.

A.J. Lee: But Busty St.Claire and Chesty La Roux aren't here tonight! Instead!

A very anxious man begin to try to climb onto the stage with a hand full of dollar bills and received a sharp kick to the face courtesy of one of A.J.'s converse's. He crashed through a table full of drinks behind him.

A.J. Lee: I'M TALKING HERE! Ahem. As I was saying. If you tune in to your local cable provider on Sunday August 25th for EBWF's Summer Slam you will be able to catch Kaitlyn and myself out-class The Beautiful People and become Tag Team Champions! I'll do most of the heavy lifting, as usual. Since we are going to outclass them at OUR jobs we thought it would be fitting if we outclass them at THEIR jobs! Kaitlyn! Hit the music!

Kaitlyn, true to her word, had no idea how to play the piano. She tickled the ivories and it sounded about as well as one would imagine coming from someone who had never touched a piano before. A.J. cleared her throat and began to sing.

A.J. Lee: You are beautiful no matter what they saaaaaaay, Words can't bring you dooooooown...oh no You are beautiful in every single waaaay. Yes, words can't bring you do--

Since they weren't exactly there to hear singing and really bad piano playing, one of the fans tried to rush the stage again. A.J. was too lost in her own moment so Kaitlyn sprung up and speared the guy off the stage.

A.J. Lee: Kaitlyn! I can't sing without musical accompaniment!

Kaitlyn: Do you not see what's going on here?!

The angry crowd was now standing and getting closer to the stage. Unexpectedly, A.J. pulled out a knife from her back pocket and swiped it at the audience.

A.J. Lee: C'mon! I'll cut you so bad that you'll wish I hadn't cut you so bad!

Kaitlyn: W-W-Why do you have a KNIFE?!

A.J. flicked the blade which made it bounce side to side.

A.J. Lee: It's made outta rubber. Hehe. See?

Now that the crowd had seen that the weapon was a fake they had no reason to stay back. Kaitlyn took A.J. by the back of her shirt and the waist of her shorts and hurled her into the crowd, suicide dive style, and toppled a bunch of them over. A.J.'s head spun as she rose up.

A.J. Lee: I...am NOT an inanimate object!

There was no time to argue as Kaitlyn snatched A.J. by the waist of her shorts, lifted her off the floor, and sprinted out the door. A.J. bounced along and shouted.

A.J. Lee: You've been a lovely audience! Please watch Summer Slam Sunday night!

A.J. waved to the men as if everything that had just went down simply slipped right through her brain. She smiled up at Kaitlyn as she continued her hurried trek down the street.

A.J. Lee: That went GREAT! We've got this in the bag! Your brute strength and my everything! Velvet and Angelina won't know what hit them! We're gonna be--Oof!

Kaitlyn dropped A.J. right onto her stomach on the sidewalk and kept running.

A.J. Lee: U-Uh, Kaitlyn?! You accidentally dropped me!

A.J. scrambled back to her feet and ran as fast as her sneakers would allow.