This is a really good job, and the actual plot/writing of the RP is good. If I can just suggest working on your punctuation and syntax. Meaning to capitalize your Is and using apostrophes and periods.
It helps with clarity of writing, and can't be used against you in a close RP situation. :)
Overall, good work!
A show to remember
Re: A show to remember
Writers aren't exactly people. They're a whole bunch of people. Trying to be one person.
The only living, breathing, Queen of Efeds in captivity
"You can't blame a writer for what the characters say." - Truman Capote