ReInventing a Wheel No One Cares About

[Ashlee]

OOC: This is garbage. Sorry.

Another day, another house show match. George Murdoch, the one everyone backstage called "Brodus", couldn't remember the last time he'd been on live television. Oh, wait. Yes... as he walked up the hallway toward the showers, he could remember the last time he'd been on television. He'd lost to John Cena, and gotten the "all around nice guy" bump in the King of the Ring tournament. He hadn't been needed since, and it was for that reason he felt surprised when a stage hand, handed him a manilla envelope. The Warfare Card, one only needed one if they were booked. He opened it, and viewed the name of his opponent. Yes, the Warfare Card, one only needed it if they were scheduled to job to one of the The Shield guys. The Shield, it was funny the thoughts he had when he thought of the three members that made up their ranks. Comedy.

It's that damn Hansel. He's so hot right now.

Brodus hit the showers, and it wasn't until he dressed in a less theatrical track suit than what he'd wear to the ring that he was on his way to find his car and get back to the hotel.

Stephanie McMahon: Brodus?

He turned around and greeted his boss with a hello.

Stephanie McMahon: I see you got your Warfare assignment.

Brodus Clay: Yes. Thank you, Ms. McMahon for the opportunity.

Stephanie McMahon: You have been so loyal, George. We do appreciate it. Good luck out there.

Good luck, trying to have a good showing against Rollins in 6 minutes, when he's going over, ya mean?

Brodus Clay: See you Monday.

Brodus shook his head. He supposed it was a paycheck, but if he wanted to, if he really wanted to raise a stink about it, he could go in the bosses office and say he wanted an opportunity. He'd been here long enough, but perhaps it didn't matter. Yep, it was a paycheck, decent people, and the opportunity to do what he loved. He'd sleep on it, and then he'd make his decision.

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"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Please welcome the only...living, breathing, ROMPIN' STOMPIN' FUNK.A.SAURUS. In captivity. Mr...... Brodus......CLAY!"

--Funky's On a Roll---

As "Somebody Call My Mama" played throughout the arena, the crowd was fired up as Brodus came onto the stage with the Funkadactyls.

Christy Hemme: Being accompanied by Cameron and Naomi, from Planet Funk, this is Brodus Clay!

Cameron and Naomi did their usual dance entrance with Brodus and as the music cut, Cameron took a mic.

Cameron: Tonight, our boy Brody will take on Seth Rollins in a...

"Cam. Cam. Nah, girl I got this. Let me."

Brodus took the microphone as Cameron gave him a sideways glance.

Brodus Clay: As my girl was saying, I got to take on the most useless, tiny, uninspired member of The Shield tonight, and I ain't saying I'm going to beat Seth Rollins, I'm saying I'm going to embarrass him. Seth Rollins want to end Planet Funk. He wants to change who Brodus Clay is. He called Cam and Nay a couple of leeches. You can't change me, Rollins. You can't beat me either.

The Funkadactyls applauded Brodus' confidence.

Brodus Clay: You think I'm a clown? That I'm funny, Seth? Here's what's funny. You, thinking that you matter. Thinking that Ambrose and Reigns couldn't dispose of you in a second and be just as powerful. You've got to be one of the dumbest, most useless taggers on, and you got the stones to call my girls names? The least important member of The Shield, thinks he's going to change Brodus Clay? You'd have to be influential for that, fool. So tonight, I'm gonna show you how it's done. You're going to sit back and take it.

The Funkadactyls applauded again as "Somebody Called My Mama" hit again. They proceeded up the ramp, dancing to the theme. Brodus didn't hear any of the music though, or the crowd's approval. He only heard one thing. "He must be so tired of who he is." Scripted or off the cuff, it didn't matter. That had hit him right in the gut, because it was usually the truth that hurt the most.