Transcript from “Know Your Role” and “Live! With Johnny Fulbright” off-air/studio only taping
1:29pm EST, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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The announcement was made just before the theme for “The Price is Right” played. The screen was empty and black, and nothing could be seen. The sound of the music was blasting into a strange silence, when suddenly flash bulbs went off in succession, illuminating various parts of the set. It was all very colorful.
First, an area with a with one long glass with island with 2 built in microphones 2 giant red buttons and reflected light beams in every which way, causing a temporary glare into the camera, still keeping much of the scene out of sight. Then, another area was brought to attention as everything but an orange couch had a light shone on it. Then everything was black again. The music stopped, and the silence resumed. The darkness was broken when a single spotlight focused in the center of the screen, revealing a man in a sharp purple suit, with brown dress shoes. He looked over his shoulder, his arms folded across his chest, a mic in hand. He spun around dramatically with a handsome shining white smile, much like the light aiming down on him.
Now seeing him from the front, he was obviously very charming. His hair was a dirty blonde, gelled and parted to perfection in the style of the 1950’s. His eyes were a strong blue, contrasting the lighter shade of his hair. But the way he spoke was incredibly cheesy, almost cliché and forced.
Johnny Fulbright: I am your host …And WELCOME to ‘Know… Your… Role!’
After the introduction there was a cue for applause just above the stage area he was standing, the red penetrating the remaining darkness hovering around the audience’s area. Pre-recorded clapping, cheering, and whistling played as the camera angle shifted from directly on Johnny to a hanging one from the ceiling, showing him beginning to walk slowly across the stage, his focus never leaving the space out in front of him as he spoke. As he started his journey to stage right, strobe lights on the wall flickered and finally remained completely lit behind the glass island previously shown.
Johnny Fulbright: Why don’t we meet our guests. Shall we?
He let another crooked smile come across his face.
Johnny Fulbright: Let’s see who we’ve got here!
Another spotlight popped on and focused on the first competitor, a man who was about 6 feet tall, wearing a simple black get up: tuxedo shirt, pants, and a plain black tie. He had no hair on his head, but wore a neatly trimmed goatee and mustache. He also had a nice smile, and dark brown eyes. His figure was muscular, but lean.
Competitor: Hi Johnny, I’m Steven Carmichael, gym tech and personal trainer from Miami, Florida.
Johnny Fulbright: Just hold on now, I didn’t even get to ask you!
Recorded laughter played.
Johnny Fulbright: So, how about your opponent?
Then a final spotlight illuminated the other person, and all the lights in that section of the stage were on and shining brightly. She wore a silver dress with rhinestones on it much like a disco ball. Light bounced off of it with even the slightest movement. But she moved a lot, so it glittered constantly. Her blonde hair was straight, flowing down past her shoulders.
Michelle: I’m sure you already know me, Johnny.
Johnny Fulbright: Now now now, look at this beautiful woman we have here!
Michelle: Oh Johnny, you always know how to flatter me!
She wore a smile also, and had a ditsy and playful tone.
Johnny Fulbright: There’s no need to introduce you, since everyone knows exactly who you are! And if they don’t, they need to get with the program. Isn’t that right?
Michelle nodded and Johnny turned back to Steven.
Johnny Fulbright: Tell me, Steven, how do you know Michelle?
Steven Carmichael: Well, I’m actually her fitness trainer, we met throu—
Johnny Fulbright: Oh my, that was just silly of me, EVERYONE knows who Michelle McCool is so it doesn’t even matter!
Another cheesy grin and he strutted back to the center of the stage where a podium awaited him. He stuck the mic in its place on the podium, and pulled up a set of cards.
Johnny Fulbright: Now, the rules are simple, whoever pushes that big red button right there in front of them first and correctly answers the question, they get a point. All of the questions are about specific celebrities and any of the roles they’ve had in their lives. First one to know all their roles and gets 3 points wins, and gets an interview with me! Got it?
Everyone nodded excitedly and the game began.
Johnny Fulbright: Alright. First question: Who is 5’10, blonde, and a really, REALLY bad dancer, and also a bad singer?
A buzzing sound was heard and that was the competitors cue to answer after pushing the big red button.
Steven Carmichael: Taylor Swift!
Johnny Fulbright: Womp womp womp. WRONG. Michelle, do you have a guess?
Michelle: Is it Summer Rae?
A loud celebratory ringing played.
Johnny Fulbright: Ding ding ding that is CORRECT! Michelle gets one point! Now the next question…
The camera panned to the sitting area for the audience, but it was completely empty, not a person in sight. Then it returned back to the stage.
Johnny Fulbright: Hmm, this one’s a toughy. Who is an ex lingerie football player who decided to do something better with her life by changing careers?
The buzzer went off again.
Michelle: Oh I SO know this, isn’t it Summer Rae?
Johnny Fulbright: Right again! That makes Michelle 2 and 0. Tell me, isn’t that your current match record in the EBWF?
As the celebratory ringing droned on she nodded her head matter of factly and waved at the empty crowd and mouthed the words “Yeah, that’s me.”
Johnny Fulbright: You’re just on a roll then, aren’t you?
He let out a chuckle and was joined by artificial laughter. Steven was also smiling and getting in on the fun, but he was the third wheel of the light-hearted expedition.
Steven Carmichael: Of course, she’s the—
Johnny Fulbright: OKAY! Onto perhaps the final question of the night:
He paused with an inquisitive look on his face as he looked at his cue card, then shrugged and cracked another smile.
Johnny Fulbright: Who is the best and nothing less?
Steven Carmichael: BEYONCE!
Michelle: Excuse me? You didn’t even push your big red button!
The diva pushed hers and promptly gave her answer.
Michelle: Me, duh. I’M the Queen Bee, thank you very much.
She pointed at herself and her eyes looked up at the ceiling as she thought about herself, twirling a lock of hair in her fingers with a smirk.
Johnny Fulbright: There ya have it folks, your winner and guest next on Live! With Johnny Fulbright, the Queen Bee, the Best and Nothing Less, Michelle McCool!
More applause erupted before the scene faded to black and the crew set up for the next segment.
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“So Cool” by Kodiene played then slowly faded away into nothing as the program returned.
Johnny Fulbright: Welcome back, I’m your host Johnny Fulbright! I’m here with my lovely guest, Michelle McCool!
There was more of the fake applause and unclaimed, disembodied cheers and whistles.
Michelle: For a second I thought this was a set up, and I was gonna have to slap you Johnny. That music sounds like something from a porno! Am I allowed to say that on tv?
This time there was true laughter off camera from some people running equipment and from Johnny himself.
Johnny Fulbright: Oh Michelle, you don’t have to worry about that. I just thought I’d be polite and help you mentally prepare for your match, not like you need it though!
Michelle: I’d hope so. See?! I can be over the top and an attention getter just like Summer Rae! But this is NOT the reason I’ll be getting all the attention sooner than later.
Johnny Fulbright: Care to share the thoughts running through your head, pretty lady? How about tying that to your match on EBWF’s Warfare this Monday Night in Milwaukee?
Both couldn’t stop smiling. The expression looked plastered on their faces. Obviously forced.
Michelle: Well Johnny, in my match against Summer Rae on Warfare, I will not only be over the top, I’ll be on top. If you know what I mean.
She gave a playful wink at Johnny and he looked into the imaginary crowd with eyebrows raised.
Johnny Fulbright: No ma’am, I don’t think I know what you mean!
Michelle: I’ll pin her, 1 2 3, and ding ding ding we have a winner! Just like how I won this little game of yours.
Johnny Fulbright: Is that so?
Michelle: Yes, that’s how it’s going to be. I have a little message for Summer Rae, too, if you don’t mind me passing it on?
Johnny Fulbright: The show is all yours, Michelle. I’ll be right here if you need me.
He motioned with a gesture towards the stage front and center, where a spotlight hovered over a microphone stand. Michelle nodded with a smile at her host before standing up from the orange couch they were seated on, and made her catwalk over to the mic. She took the mic in her hand without removing it from the stand as slow blues guitar music started playing and the room darkened except for the spotlight now on her.
Michelle: So, Summer Rae, we do a different kind of dance in the EBWF. It’s unlike any kind of tango you’ve done before! It won’t be some slow waltz, a foxtrot, or a little jitterbug you can just hop in and feel the beat to and sweep everything away. No no no, this will be a true contest. I hope you know your role… Actually… No! CUT THE MUSIC!
At that moment the music stopped playing and the lights flickered back on abruptly, and all the cheesiness and fun died along with it. Johnny Fulbright watched on with one leg crossed over the other from his post on the couch, with a sly look on his face and his head held up a little in arrogance as he listened.
Michelle: This won’t be a contest, because there won’t be any competition in it! Summer Rae you’re a JOKE! Your legs will be kicking and your arms will be swinging, but it won’t be because you’re dancing. It’ll be because I’ll be breaking those little ballerina legs of yours! I’ll wrench your Barbie doll arms right of their sockets! I’ll! I’ll…
Johnny shook his head in agreement and smirked at some of the funny insults Michelle came up with. She was having a hard time finding her words but finally found herself.
Michelle: You know what Summer Rae? I’ll spare you the grief by ending this speech here, but just know that I will be doing much more in the ring than just talking. Hopefully your free spirit won’t be broken by me in our match. I’ll rip you a new one—I mean, I’ll see you later!
Michelle wasn’t smiling at the end of her segment. She had a mischievous look about her and her hair was a little roughed up from when she flipped it back dramatically. In seconds she was joined by her handsome host, and he grabbed her gently by the wrist, holding her arm up in the air in victory like a wrestling referee. He wasn’t smiling either. He had a more sinister look on his face.
Johnny Fulbright: Ladies and gentlemen… Your winner, Michelle McCool!
He dropped the microphone and it hit the hollow stage with a loud thud as the spotlight shined down on the two. In the pitch black background a large neon sign flashed on advertising the name of the game show Michelle had won, “Know Your Role”, along with the Live! With Johnny Fulbright show logo. Then static filled up the camera screen and white noise was heard as the video was cut off.