You have the right to remain, EVIL!

[D.J]

Hey guys here is Layla's RP for the PPV. Hope you like it! Feedback as always is welcome. Good luck Miles! -DJ

Apparently being aligned with The Miz was better for the psyche of Layla, as far as her in ring performances went. This past Monday on Warfare the #1 contender for the Sky High Championship was defeated by the same young lady who recently had just lost that very title, in Jamilia Craft. Though she suffered the setback Layla was doing something that she had not done in a very long time in her wrestling career, she was having FUN. She found herself enjoying everyday working with new teammates Taka Michinoku and Funaki, as never knew what to expect, and quite frankly neither did anyone else. Kaientai's crazy antics were well documented in EBWF, and now Layla was just going along for the ride. Though she tried to fight it at first, Layla was won over by the eccentric Japanese duo, and wanted nothing more then to bring home some EBWF gold to her new partners in crime.. or I guess I should say.. partners in EVIL!

The scene opened up to the EBWF logo. We panned in to a brick building. It was just starting to get dark and the sound of thunder was heard in the background, followed by a strike of lightning. The camera cut inside and a plaque on the wall read EVIL POLICE HEADQUARTERS. This all but gave away who this segment was going to feature. The camera then cut to a back room of this police office where Layla sat in the room in an orange jumpsuit, on the jumpsuit it read "loser." Taka wore a white button up shirt tucked in to black slacks. He had a badge that read "Evil Officer Michinoku" He had the sleeves rolled up, and he had a cigarette in his hand. He took a puff of it, and right away he couldn't handle it. He pantomimed coughing, and turned bright red. When his coughing fit had ended, coughing sounds were heard in stereo. He threw a few more half-hearted coughing motions out there to try and catch up to the sound effects. Funaki stood next to him in the same outfit with a badge that read "Evil Officer Funaki." Layla chewed on a piece of gum, and didn't look interested to be there. She conveyed this sentiment in a way that you could tell she was acting, and not genuinely disinterested. Taka slammed his hand on the table, and then shook his hand in pain, 3 seconds later the table slam was heard. Taka quickly slapped the table only much softer. He then smiled at Funaki due to the fact that his hand didn't hurt on this slap. Funaki smiled back and gave him the thumbs up. Taka's mouth began to move and words followed.

Taka: (voice over) Layla, do you know why we brought you in today?

Layla, full of attitude, popped a bubble. She was so in to her character, her mouth began to move and her high pitched voice over, filled with sass, began.

Layla: (voice over) The hell if I know. I was just trying to prepare myself for my match on Sunday at Death Before Dishonor for the Sky High Title, and all of sudden you two coppers busted down my door.. or at least knocked on it really hard, I answered, and then you wrestled me to the ground.. or at least asked me nicely to get on the ground.. so I did.. and next thing I know, you slammed the cuffs on me.. or at least got them on my wrists.. with my help.. and then you threw me into the back of the cop car.. or escorted me politely, held the door for me, and let me get in under my own power.. I was too afraid to ask any questions as to why I was being brought in today, because it was obvious that you both meant some serious business, and you are both clearly bad asses, so in my experience you don't mess with a bad ass.

Layla's mouth movement went a little too long, boy she really was becoming part of this whacky group. Taka looked at Funaki with a goofy grin, Funaki nodded to Taka as if to say, "go on."

Taka: (voice over) Well you are right about the fact that we are bad asses. On top of that, as you can see by these official badges, we are police officers. However, we are not normal police officers that you see on Cops, or hiding off the highway, we are not your mom and dad's police officers who serve for the greater good, we are instead police officers who serve for the greater EVIL!

Funaki lit a cigarette, took a drag, and he also could not handle it. He began coughing just as Taka had before him. The coughing sounds were heard late, as you may have guessed. In between heaves we managed to barely make out.

Funaki: (voice over, through coughs) INDEED.

Taka held his cigarette back to his mouth before he decided against taking another drag. He shook his head no, and quickly put the cigarette out into his ash tray, before he continued his explanation.

Taka: (voice over) So when a crime is committed that disturbs our mission of EVIL, we are forced to act on it. Layla, we like you, we like your style, we like your talent, we like your boobies.

Funaki was staring directly at Layla's chest. Layla saw this, snapped her gum again, and winked at Funaki who was now in a daze. Taka elbowed him and Funaki snapped out of it.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED.

Taka: (voice over) However, last week you failed us. We sent you out into the ring on a mission. A mission to show the world that Kaientai and Layla were a force to be reckoned with. To show the world that the days of our dominance were just beginning. We sent you out into the ring on Warfare to stop this ridiculous idea that a Toys R' Us kid like Jamilia Craft could be a professional wrestler. We sent you out there to show the world, that though this masked toddler was once the Sky High Champion that she would be no match for the NEW Layla. A Layla that would steal candy from a baby or a 'Jamilia Craft' in this case, and by 'candy' I mean a victory... and did you succeed in this mission?

Layla continued to chew on her gum and twirl her hair. She was heard before she was ready to 'speak.'

Layla: (voice over) I guess not, but to be honest, I didn't even really care about that match, officer. I know it was a chance to establish the reign of terror that we are all going to bring to this company, but to tell you the truth, facing Jamilia Craft bored me to tears. I was so distracted by how much I didn't care about the match, that I forgot to win it. I swear it will never happen again! EVER..

Layla slammed her hand on the table like Taka had earlier. She moved her mouth quickly.

Layla: (voice over) EVER!

Taka looked at Funaki he shrugged unsure of whether to believe Layla or not. Taka grabbed a light from above the table and shined it directly onto the face of Layla. He became much more animated.

Taka: (voice over) Where were you on the night of the 21st!?

Layla looked confused.

Layla: (voice over) Uhh.. I was losing to Jamilia Craft we just were talking about that.

Taka looked at Funaki, Funaki nodded as if to say "that's true."

Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.

Taka: (voice over) And where will you be on the night of the 27th!?

Layla thought for a second, snapped her gum, and responded.

Layla: (voice over) Officer, I can tell you with the utmost confidence that on the night of the 27th, I will be defeating Daffney for the EBWF Sky High Championship.

Taka grinned.

Taka: (voice over) You're sure? We wouldn't want to have to arrest you again, you see most police departments follow a 3 strike policy, but since we just throw all fairness to the wind, we are on a 2 strike policy. You delay the spread of our success one more time, and you will live to regret it!

Funaki pointed at Layla like he was Uncle Sam.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Layla sat up in her chair and chewed her gum even louder than before, which was saying something.

Layla: (voice over) I'm positive. Daffney doesn't scare me at all, despite the fact that she tries so desperately to scare everybody. She is like a haunted house for kids during Halloween time. Nobody under the age of 10 is even remotely scared. Which explains why she was able to be victorious over Jamilia Craft. Unfortunately for Daffney, I'm more like the high school kids that go to the Haunted House with water bottles of alcohol, in the sense that I won't be scared, but instead entertained. Entertained by the fact that I will become the new Sky High Champion, without breaking a sweat.

Taka: (voice over) So you are saying you condone underage drinking?

Layla: (voice over) Yes.

Taka: (voice over) RIGHT ANSWER.. A HA HA HA!

Taka, Layla, and Funaki all pantomimed laughter. The laughter was heard seconds later.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Layla flipped her hair back before continuing.

Layla: (voice over) I know that I let down the group last week, but if there is one thing that could stop the wave of EVIL that we are prepared to bring upon the EBWF, it is a wave of EVIL from someone else. Which is why, I could not be more glad to be facing Daffney this weekend. She will probably come out and threaten me with death, maybe yell slipknot lyrics at me, or paint the sun black despite the strict instructions of her paint by numbers book, to try to prove that she is the most sadistic and wicked diva in the EBWF. However, the beating I will issue to her on Sunday night will not only make me the new Sky High Champion, but it will also make me the undisputed most maniacal and evil chica to ever step foot in the EBWF. Thus killing her claims of wrongdoing and justifying the 3 of us as the true group to fear in professional wrestling.. A HA HA!

Layla cocked her head back. Taka and Funaki didn't seem to expect an evil laugh from Layla, but they seemed to enjoy it. Taka looked at Funaki as if to say "well what are you waiting for?"

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka smiled once again.

Taka: (voice over) Layla, you have reassured us that you are aware of what we expect from you. You have showed us that you truly understand our quest by the things you have told us in this room. I thought that we were going to have to get it out of you, by using the old EVIL COP, EVIL COP method.

Layla looked confused.

Layla: (voice over) Isn't it good cop, bad cop?

Taka: (voice over) Not in here it's not! HA HA HA!

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Layla smiled. She started to stand up, all the while still very much in character.

Layla: (voice over) I guess if that's all you have for me. Then I'm free to go?

Taka shook his head no.

Taka: (voice over) You are not free to go, until we say you are free to go!

Funaki looked at Layla and his voice inflected "shame on you."

Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.

Layla sat back down in her seat.

Layla: (voice over) You just said I had convinced you. You can't still be questioning whether or not I will rid the EBWF of this goth poser, Daffney on Sunday, can you? I mean all I'd have to do is throw Magic the Gathering cards into the ring, and she'd dive after them, and then all I'd have to do is pin her to get the victory. I know, however, that that would be too easy of a way out for her. I know that in order to truly make an impact I will have to beat the eyeliner off of her, and that's a lot of beating.

Taka looked at Funaki, who once again nodded in agreement with Layla.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka: (voice over) Enough! It is not that we are questioning whether or not you will be victorious on Sunday, because you have seen the consequences should you not be.

Layla nodded almost sarcastically. Her voice inflected that she was reciting something she'd memorized.

Layla: (voice over) Yes I have, the most forceful arrest in the history of forceful arrests. A forceful arrest that would make other forceful arrests piss their pants. As arrests by evil police officers are naturally more vicious and forceful, then that of the so called "good" police officers. In fact, it is my opinion that good officers would suck on their thumbs and ask for their mommy's if they were to ever bear witness to the forcefulness of an evil police officer arrest. I Layla, want no part of this type of interaction with either of you, thus I will have no choice but to rid the world of Daffney, just like her parents should have when they had the chance.

Taka mouthed "when they had the chance" as if he was reciting quietly what Layla was saying the entire time.

Taka: (voice over) I couldn't have said that better myself.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Layla looked as though she was getting restless.

Layla: (voice over) So what am I still doing here?

Layla shrugged to hammer home her last statement was a question. It looked off cue and cheesy, in other words, it fit perfectly into this segment.

Taka: (voice over) Once again, to show you that we are here to "help you, help us." Did you hear that Funaki? Not only am I an evil police officer, I'm an evil police officer who makes Jerry McGuire references!

Funaki smiled, impressed.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka seemed to have been thrown off track by his effortless reference. He then motioned as if he was clearing his throat, off timing as always, the throat clear was heard.

Taka: (voice over) As I was saying before I went all 'show me the money' on everyone.. To show you that we are here to help you, we have captured 4 prisoners, that we though could be Daffney. As you mentioned earlier, she too has committed a crime against EVIL, and that is something that just does not happen on our watch. The worst crime in the evil bylaws is to portray yourself as being EVIL, when you are nothing more than a fraud. Though lying is usually celebrated, lying about being EVIL, is 100 percent prohibited!

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka's goofy grin turned serious again, as he mouthed his words.

Taka: (voice over) So in an effort to prevent the tarnishing of what it means to be EVIL, we thought it'd be a good idea to arrest Daffney, and hold her here, until you gave her a beating that will make her wish she was still in prison!

Layla: (voice over) So you want me to identify which one is Daffney?

Taka looked annoyed.

Taka: (voice over) SILENCE! We will ask the questions around here.... We want you to identify which one is Daffney.

Funaki nodded.

Funaki: (voice over, matter of factly) Indeed.

Layla: (voice over) Well let's see the suspects! It'll be nice to see a few different examples of what the "before" Daffney will look like. After I decimate her at Death Before Dishonor, not even Daffney's family, if she has one that will claim her, will be able to identify the "after" Daffney. A HA HA!

Funaki was excited.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka nodded to Funaki as if to say, "not now, this is serious." Funaki's voice got somber and low, as if he had just been punished.

Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.

Taka: (voice over) I love the threats! Just as I will love those threats being backed up by a brutalization of Daffney on Sunday! Let's just make sure we keep her in custody until then! GUARD, BRING IN THE SUSPECTS!

Alex Riley, dressed in a police officer uniform and a sign around his next that read "will wrestle for food." Brought in 4 girls to the room that was connected to where Kaientai and Layla currently were. 3 of the girls were dead ringers for Daffney, and the other was Avril Lavigne. They all wore all black dresses with black stockings underneath.

Alex Riley: The suspects, sir.

Alex left the room

Avril Lavigne: Can I just ask what I'm doing here?

Taka and Funaki smiled at each other. Taka began to sing.

Taka: (voice over) HEY, HEY.. YOU, YOU.. I don't like your questions. NO WAY.. NO WAY.. so you better keep your mouth shut. HEY.. HEY.. YOU.. YOU.. or we'll have to hurt you.

Funaki: (voice over, singing) INDEED, INDEED.

Avril Lavigne: Um seriously, I don't know why I even agreed to follow a guy into a creepy building that had a "will wrestle for food" sign around his neck, but I'd like to go home now.

Taka: (voice over) SILENCE possible Daffney!

Avril Lavigne: What the heck is a Daffney? I'm Avri..

Taka: (voice over) SILENCE! Seriously "why you have to go and make this so complicated?"

Funaki's voice inflected "seriously!"

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Avril smirked

Avril Lavigne: See you clearly know who I am, just because I'm dressed the same as these chicks, doesn't make me this Daffn..

Taka interrupted her again.

Taka: (voice over) ENOUGH! Ok Layla, being that she is your opponent on Sunday, do any of these sad looking ladies, look like they could be Daffney?

Layla looked at the 4 suspects long and hard. She shook her head no.

Layla: (voice over) I'm afraid not. I'd suspect that Daffney at this point would look a lot more nervous and worried than these 4 look, as she should be. This Sunday night, I'm going to end not only Daffney's Sky High Championship reign, but also her wrestling career faster than the guy from Sum 41 ended his marriage with Avril Lavigne.

Avril Lavigne: HEY!

Layla did not let Avril's reaction break her rhythm.

Layla: (voice over) This Sunday, I will do my team proud. The name of the event Sunday, is quite fitting, because I would rather DIE than bring Dishonor to my partners in crime Taka and Funaki ever again. It is because of that, that I can say with complete certainty, that when the bell rings and dust settles on Sunday Night, it will mark the official beginning not only of my Sky High Title reign, but Kaientai and Layla's reign of pure, diabolical, unfiltered, and most importantly unstoppable

EEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Layla scrunched her face up, in the same way she did Kaientai's prior promo. A couple more times and Cole will refer to that face as "vintage Layla." Taka nodded and used 2 fingers in the way people do, to make a whistle sound. Seconds later the whistle was heard, and Alex Riley came back in and escorted the ladies out of the room. Avril Lavigne, bad ass that she is, flipped off Kaientai and Layla. Funaki looked horrified, but quickly realized it was his line..

Funaki: (voice over) INNNNNDEEEEEEEEEEEEED!

Kaientai and Layla all cocked their heads back, and evil laughter was heard as the scene faded out to the EBWF logo.

[Ben M]

Very entertaining, DJ. I enjoyed the Avril Lavigne cameo :)

[Will]

I really love me some EVILLLLL Lay Lay. Funny stuff, DJ. Keep it up.