The US Bank Arena in Cincinatti Ohio was the venue where the next Warfare would be taking place, so why the hell not shoot a promo 940 Miles in the OPPOSITE direction where the event would take place? Much like the koi fish inked on his skin, Punk was an expert when it came to swimming against the current. What did he have to lose? He had a bus that would take him on the 14 hour drive and Colt Cabana to ride along... Time? Having spent the past Year or so at home doing absolutely nothing was nothing compared to taking a detour of roughly 1000 hours. Due to scheduling differences, Colt Cabana couldn't get BushWhacker Luke on his "Art of Wrestling" Podcast so Luke could talk about his Gym in Florida; instead, he offered to 'promote' "Clearwater Beach fitness" somehow. Cue in EBWF Superstar and camera crew.

XXX


CLICK. The sound of the digital camera lens snapping a picture was heard as both men posed for the camera. Former Wrestler Bushwhaker Luke had started this gym in Florida and apparently was having a hard time getting people to come.

Bushwhaker Luke: That was great Punk, once again thanks for coming! I'm going to close in a few minutes, so you got the gym all to yourselves.

With that said, Luke walked away from the duo. Colt Cabana had taken the snapshot and surely would send it to him later. Cabana was glancing at the screen on his phone.

Colt Cabana: That was weird.

The Straightedge superstar shrugged.

CM Punk: Nothing weird about a guy who owns a gym asking you for a picture... He's probably going to hang it somewhere for customers to see.

Colt Cabana: No, his eye is weird.

Colt slowly raised the screen for Punk to see. Holy shit, it <i>was</i> a weird facial expression indeed. Punk's finger pointed at the squinted eye.

CM Punk: I guess that's exactly the face you make when you are bushwhacking?

Colt Cabana: Is that even a thing?

Punk shrugged.

CM Punk: It is. At least on urbandictionary.com...

Colt opened the web browser of his phone and looked for the definition of Bush Whacking on the site his friend mentioned.

Colt Cabana: Alright, now that we've put pubic hair pulling jokes aside, we can get to business.

And boy Punk was all business. The moment he mentioned that word, it was as if a flare had ignited in his chest.

CM Punk: Yeah, mind asking Luke if there's a way to dim the lights down? I'll go tell the crew we're ready.

A Cameraman, a guy with an overhead microphone and a light's specialist were sent to Florida to help Punk cut his promo. In a matter of minutes the crew had rolled a couple of oversized crates into the gym, containing their work tools. The lights have been deemed down and Colt was already standing by Punk's side. Punk pointed at the crates.

Colt Cabana: You don't happen to have Renee Young inside that crate, do you?

CM Punk: What if they have Michael Cole in there instead? Don't tell me, are you a Reneelieber?

Colt shrugged.

Colt Cabana: She's just so awfully popular... My mind boggles me from time to time. How does she manage to interview virtually every single wrestler in EBWF every week?

CM Punk: I'm pretty sure I'm the only wrestler shooting a promo a thousand miles away from where the actual event takes place.

Colt Cabana: A thousand miles away are only a couple of hours by plane, y'know? If you flew like normal people instead of riding that big bus everywhere...

CM Punk: Hey, that bus was part of my deal last year...

Colt Cabana: That huge bus is you... compensating for something!

Punk couldn't bite back at Colt, eventhough he could probably tell him to ask Jess if he had any doubts on the matter. One of the crew members would approach him.

EBWF Crew member: We're ready when you are.

CM Punk: Thanks...

Punk Turned his attention to Colt.

CM Punk: Ready, Michael Cole?

Colt shook his head and walked behind the EBWF Crew and out of the sight of the cameras that were about to roll.

Colt Cabana: Like I am going to work for Free...

Punk ran a hand along his brown hair, which has grown quite a bit since the last time he was last inside a Wrestling ring. The scruffy beard from his Straightedge Society days also seemed to be back. He was a tad worn out from the training session he just had, but there were still a few things to sort out before driving to Cincinatti. Still clad in his gym clothes; a sleeveless gray T-shirt, black shorts and red sneakers. He tilted his lips from side to side, toying with his lip ring as he waited for the cameras to begin rolling, the dimmed lighting made the multiple exercising machines behind him hard to make out. Once the small light bulb of the camera turned red, he offered the lens one of his trademark smirks.

CM Punk: I thought a lot was going to change while I was away.

His inked arms slowly folded over his pectoral muscles as he shook his head, the smile not fading away from his face.

CM Punk: Boy I was wrong. Let's see... The Intercontinental Championship was held by a complete nobody... Check. Someone was unsuccesfully trying to revisit my Path To Glory championship reign... You know, the one I invented and that truly ended in Glory, unlike the rest of the PTG title reigns? ... Check. A Trio of newcomers were trying to take the place by force, using all sorts of tactics to get inside people's minds... Check. Looks like nothing has changed... Until now.

Punk shrugged.

CM Punk: Even I continue showing up on your television, doing things completely unrelated to wrestling... My bad!

Punk brought a hand to his face to cover hid mouth, eyebrows raised.

CM Punk: Bray Wyatt... My opponent for Monday's Warfare likes to call himself the Eater of Worlds... Now if you've ever picked a comic book in your life, Bray, if you had the slightest idea of who Galactus, the true Eater of Worlds looked like, he would probably find himself a better fitting name... Plus, Eric Rowan and Luke Harper are no Silver Surfer... Do they even surf on the Everglades? Now, comic book reference aside, Bray Wyatt is no different than any other opponent I have faced in the past.

A fist slowly slammed against his own chest as his eyebrows furrowed, his loud words echoed in the empty, dark gym.

CM Punk: Bray Wyatt and his gifted silver tongue have taken a great amount of his opponents by surprise. But unlike any of your previous opponents, this is not my first rodeo with a psychopath and it certainly won't be the last.

Punk's hands now rubbed against one another, as if they were anticipating to have Wyatt's neck knotted between them.

CM Punk: Not only I am through with the mind games, I am through with the accusations and I am through with the mockery. Time and time again people have tried to harm me... Both physically and mentally. They have dug out every single skeleton and vented every single piece of dirty laundry, they have pinned me down and threatened to poison me with alcohol... They have tried to impose beliefs and ideas against my own...

Punk shook his head.

CM Punk: I might come off as a bit of a jerk, an anti-social. But you don't need to be all buddy-buddy with me to notice the kind of man I am. One look at me, my hair, my beard, my skin, my music collection... One little look and you will realize I was born to break paradigms. I wasn't born to follow anyone or anything... I was born to blaze a path and lead those who want to through this hell we call Earth. Unlike you, I wasn't bestowed the Midas Touch, I wasn't groomed and made into a grandiose man by some "Sister Abigail"... While you were nurtured and molded to "set an example" and "Save the World"... I was doomed to watch my family smoke and drink their month's pay instead of getting groceries... I was fooled to believe that being under the effects of alcohol was what was 'normal'... That stench in my mouth, those eyes looking nowhere... That was the truth I was fed on... The truth I chose NOT to believe in, the reality I chose to BREAK OUT of, the hellhole I SAVED MYSELF FROM! I was born and raised to believe there was nothing that could save me. That I was doomed to fulfill my parents' exact same fate... I watched the world crumble before my eyes over and over AND OVER AGAIN.

Punk's chest heaved after the last words were spit out of his mouth... He took a couple of breathes to calm down.

CM Punk: And everytime that happened I got myself out of the debris, out of the mess that was my life... And you want to talk at me about salvation? Do I look like I want to be saved, Bray? Are you planning to save me? You know, I could pin what Kendrick said about me on the pot... But I am not sure if you are really serious... Or is it the Moonshine talking?

Punk shrugged and smiled into the camera sarcastically.

CM Punk: Look at yourself, you are a man who has talked a whole lot around here, but what have you accomplished? Have you ever saved someone? Have you ever proven you're as gifted and virtuous as you say you are? I might not have the Midas touch, But I was once given two low tier titles and what did I do? I turned them into the Path To Glory Championship... Those gifts weren't just handed to me... I had no sister Abigail to do that, no.

Punk clenched his fists before the camera

CM Punk: Everything I do, I've done it with my bare hands, with these bare knuckles I have fought for what I have ever wanted, I have gotten everything... That is what makes me THE BEST. Please don't come to me with your words about Salvation, about holiness and about grace... I have outgrown those folk tales... I have long ago realized I am the maker of my destiny, the only reason I have gotten this far... And the reason why on Monday night, you will end with your teeth down your throat, Bray. There are is no God, there is no Salvation... You might be able to outtalk me with your seducing Losfer words... But you can rest assured you cannot OUTWRESTLE ME... Not with Sister Abigail, not with Brawny Number 1 and Brawny Number 2 on your corner... Your eyes will be opened on Monday night... Paradoxically after I have put you to sleep.

CM Punk folded his arms over his chest forming an 'X' as the scene faded.

OOC: Turns out my exam got scheduled one week ahead, I'm cramming everything for Tuesday night, so no fancy layout and no time to write something better. Good Luck Nick!