God Save the Big Guy!
Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 8:29 pm
OOC note: Best of luck to Ben, who I am facing not once but twice in this tournament!
For a monent, let's suppose concorde flights still exist. Let's suppose one EBWF superstar could take a concorde flight to get across the pond in three hours or so. Let's ignore the cheap scrolling -yet repetitive- black and white background. If you chose to ignore all that then you would find yourself submerged in the streets of Manchester. Ryan Reeves stood with before the scrolling background ERM! City before him, dressed in a brown flat cap over his bald head. A brown vest, a white shirt and brown shorts topped an attire that was obviously a few sizes bigger than his usual size, a news paper on his hand clearly read "BAD NEWS EVERYWHERE". Ryan's lips curved up in a smirk as he acknowledged the presence of our viewers.
Ryback: Top of the morning to you laddies! Let's get something straight. Take a good, hard, long, lasting look.
Ryan even turned around 180 degrees for the people at home to watch the scene thoroughly.
Ryan Reeves: Looks like crap I know, and THANK GOOD it isn’t raining!
The big guy tugged on his tiny vest.
Ryback: Could you imagine if I had to dress like a complete and total SCHMUCK… In a climate which is cold, rainy and humid? Where tuberculosis, typhoid fever and pneumoconiosis run rampant?
Let’s pretend for a moment Ryback could know what those sicknesses meant, let alone PRONOUNCE THEM.
Ryback: But you all know I’m tough… I’m tougher than tough! I’m so tough I can outwrestle a cold, I wouldn’t mind a little rain...
Ryan’s hand reached out of the camera frame to grab a cone of newspaper stuffed with greasy looking fish and chips.
Ryback: But then I realise I would have to feed on this…
Ryan’s hands quickly brought the fish and chips onto his mouth, stuffing it with them and chewing it easily.
Ryback: WHAT. IS. THIS. GARBAGE? I’m also supposed to pledge allegiance to some wrinkled old lady with no other choice…
Ryback shook his head… His hands slowly grabbed his flat cap, which he threw behind his shoulders. The vest was next… Finally he ripped his shirt and pulled his shorts down to reveal his air-sprayed painted attire.
Ryback: There is no free dental care… DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHAT THESE GUYS CALL “FOOTBALL”…
Ryan smirked confidently into the camera.
Ryback: And Wade Barret wants to tell me he’s got bad news for me? HA HA HA! Of courts she feels entitled to deliver Bad news, he hails from a place where there’s nothing but bad news! On the other hand, I hail from a place where it’s always sunny, a place where only the weak get sick ,but the strong thrive and are meant to lead the way, be admired… A place with PRETTY DAMN GOOD FOOD, and a place where this little wrinkled old man calls the shots…
Ryback dug into his wrestling onesie to dig out a wrinkled up one hundred dollar bill with Benjamin Franklin’s face printed on it.
Ryback: Who’s got bad news for who? Wade Barrett is a bare knuckled fighter, I bet he can pack quite a punch and is quite used to receiving blows… But let’s get something straight… Wade Barret used to box in England with guys who fed on FISH! FREAKING FISH! Only girls feed on fish!!! HA HA HA!
Ryan's hands rested on his sides as he stared menacingly in front of the camera.
Ryback: Wade, if you want to go hand to hand on a bare knuckle boxing fight, a true big guy never backs down from a fight! I just want you to be aware of what you’ve gotten yourself into! Yeah, you might be fast, you might be skilled… But look at your arms… And then have a look at these MASSIVE MEATHOOKS!
Ryan flexed his biceps.
Ryback: You know my clotheslines make look JBL’s like a diva’s move! HA HA HA! So, yeah… I was reading something to get to know you better, Wade… I stumbled across a book called “Angela’s Ashes”… And I figured I could read something to get to know your origins better So to quote Frank McCourt “Reading is for losers and I’m going to kick your ass!”
Seriously? You thought Ryback would prepare for a match by reading a book? What a bunch of nerds.
Ryback: So, apparently they have to make a whole tournament to define someone to call “King of the ring?” You’d have to be dumb, nuts or both in order to set up a whole tournament while having the KING RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! Do you think flukes like CM Punk, Cody Rhodes or Trent Barreta are going to be King of the Ring? Not while the big guy is around HA!
Of course, a tournament, a physical competition of endurance… Ryan was obviously expecting the tournament to be arranged to favor those smaller, petty men… Ryan knew the moment he was put in the tournament he would most likely get the toughest opponents while guys like Wes Ikeda, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan. It as the only way a smaller guy would go over a much bigger, stronger and thus able wrestler.
Ryback: Wade Barrett… My time in EBWF has taught me the question “Do you even lift?” is rhetorical…
What Ryback isn’t saying is his time in EBWF has taught him even what “Rhetorical” means
Ryback: Barrett, you were probably raised to be polite and say God Save the Queen… But once you and I meet on that ring… Once my fist crush your stupid face… There will be no politeness that could save your ass … No matter how much you beg, no matter your manners and your “Good forms”, I won’t stop until you are down for the count! You will have no choice but to bow down before A TRUE KING, THE KING OF ALPHA MALES… I will bring you to your knees, I will make you say “God Save the King”, King Ryback, that is… Then, and only then you will realise… RYBACK RULES!
Ryback reached down and tackled down the fake background as the scene faded to black.
For a monent, let's suppose concorde flights still exist. Let's suppose one EBWF superstar could take a concorde flight to get across the pond in three hours or so. Let's ignore the cheap scrolling -yet repetitive- black and white background. If you chose to ignore all that then you would find yourself submerged in the streets of Manchester. Ryan Reeves stood with before the scrolling background ERM! City before him, dressed in a brown flat cap over his bald head. A brown vest, a white shirt and brown shorts topped an attire that was obviously a few sizes bigger than his usual size, a news paper on his hand clearly read "BAD NEWS EVERYWHERE". Ryan's lips curved up in a smirk as he acknowledged the presence of our viewers.
Ryback: Top of the morning to you laddies! Let's get something straight. Take a good, hard, long, lasting look.
Ryan even turned around 180 degrees for the people at home to watch the scene thoroughly.
Ryan Reeves: Looks like crap I know, and THANK GOOD it isn’t raining!
The big guy tugged on his tiny vest.
Ryback: Could you imagine if I had to dress like a complete and total SCHMUCK… In a climate which is cold, rainy and humid? Where tuberculosis, typhoid fever and pneumoconiosis run rampant?
Let’s pretend for a moment Ryback could know what those sicknesses meant, let alone PRONOUNCE THEM.
Ryback: But you all know I’m tough… I’m tougher than tough! I’m so tough I can outwrestle a cold, I wouldn’t mind a little rain...
Ryan’s hand reached out of the camera frame to grab a cone of newspaper stuffed with greasy looking fish and chips.
Ryback: But then I realise I would have to feed on this…
Ryan’s hands quickly brought the fish and chips onto his mouth, stuffing it with them and chewing it easily.
Ryback: WHAT. IS. THIS. GARBAGE? I’m also supposed to pledge allegiance to some wrinkled old lady with no other choice…
Ryback shook his head… His hands slowly grabbed his flat cap, which he threw behind his shoulders. The vest was next… Finally he ripped his shirt and pulled his shorts down to reveal his air-sprayed painted attire.
Ryback: There is no free dental care… DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHAT THESE GUYS CALL “FOOTBALL”…
Ryan smirked confidently into the camera.
Ryback: And Wade Barret wants to tell me he’s got bad news for me? HA HA HA! Of courts she feels entitled to deliver Bad news, he hails from a place where there’s nothing but bad news! On the other hand, I hail from a place where it’s always sunny, a place where only the weak get sick ,but the strong thrive and are meant to lead the way, be admired… A place with PRETTY DAMN GOOD FOOD, and a place where this little wrinkled old man calls the shots…
Ryback dug into his wrestling onesie to dig out a wrinkled up one hundred dollar bill with Benjamin Franklin’s face printed on it.
Ryback: Who’s got bad news for who? Wade Barrett is a bare knuckled fighter, I bet he can pack quite a punch and is quite used to receiving blows… But let’s get something straight… Wade Barret used to box in England with guys who fed on FISH! FREAKING FISH! Only girls feed on fish!!! HA HA HA!
Ryan's hands rested on his sides as he stared menacingly in front of the camera.
Ryback: Wade, if you want to go hand to hand on a bare knuckle boxing fight, a true big guy never backs down from a fight! I just want you to be aware of what you’ve gotten yourself into! Yeah, you might be fast, you might be skilled… But look at your arms… And then have a look at these MASSIVE MEATHOOKS!
Ryan flexed his biceps.
Ryback: You know my clotheslines make look JBL’s like a diva’s move! HA HA HA! So, yeah… I was reading something to get to know you better, Wade… I stumbled across a book called “Angela’s Ashes”… And I figured I could read something to get to know your origins better So to quote Frank McCourt “Reading is for losers and I’m going to kick your ass!”
Seriously? You thought Ryback would prepare for a match by reading a book? What a bunch of nerds.
Ryback: So, apparently they have to make a whole tournament to define someone to call “King of the ring?” You’d have to be dumb, nuts or both in order to set up a whole tournament while having the KING RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! Do you think flukes like CM Punk, Cody Rhodes or Trent Barreta are going to be King of the Ring? Not while the big guy is around HA!
Of course, a tournament, a physical competition of endurance… Ryan was obviously expecting the tournament to be arranged to favor those smaller, petty men… Ryan knew the moment he was put in the tournament he would most likely get the toughest opponents while guys like Wes Ikeda, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan. It as the only way a smaller guy would go over a much bigger, stronger and thus able wrestler.
Ryback: Wade Barrett… My time in EBWF has taught me the question “Do you even lift?” is rhetorical…
What Ryback isn’t saying is his time in EBWF has taught him even what “Rhetorical” means
Ryback: Barrett, you were probably raised to be polite and say God Save the Queen… But once you and I meet on that ring… Once my fist crush your stupid face… There will be no politeness that could save your ass … No matter how much you beg, no matter your manners and your “Good forms”, I won’t stop until you are down for the count! You will have no choice but to bow down before A TRUE KING, THE KING OF ALPHA MALES… I will bring you to your knees, I will make you say “God Save the King”, King Ryback, that is… Then, and only then you will realise… RYBACK RULES!
Ryback reached down and tackled down the fake background as the scene faded to black.