Funky's On a Roll!
Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 9:00 pm
The EBWF Arena in Salt Lake City, Utah came alive when the disco ball dropped and the high pitched voice of Naomi filled the arena.
Naomi: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, the only living, breathing, rompin' stompin' Funkasaurus, in captivity! Mr. Brodus Claaaaay!
The Funkasaurus: Funkateers! Put your hands together for the lovely Cameron and Naomi, the Funkadactyls!
"Funky's on a roll! Funky's on a roll!" Cameron and Naomi were on the stage doing their usual entrance dance in a flash. Brodus Clay joined them, doing the traditional raptor like dance all the way down the ramp and in to the ring.
"Funky's on a roll! Got to let it go! Funky's on a roll!"
They moved to the left and to the right in unison, until the down beat came to the music, and Brodus tore off his track pants, throwing them to the ring and stomping on them as pryo shot out of the turnbuckles. Naomi went to the ropes and came back to Cameron with two microphones. She handed one to her dance partner and raised the microphone to her lips.
Naomi: What is up, Planet Funk! Welcome to EBWF Warfare! You all know our friend, The Funkasaurus. She's Cameron.
Cameron dropped down low and did a booty pop, before speaking into her own mic.
Cameron: And she's Naomi!
Naomi did the same type of dance move, and they spoke together.
Together: And we are the Funkadactyls!
Brodus burst into an applause that showed the pride he had in his valets.
Cameron: It's King of the Ring, and my main man Brodus Clay is in round one against…
Naomi: I'm sorry?! You're main man?
Cameron: Our main man. Of course! That's beside the point, Nay! Point is The Funkasaurus is here, and he's facing Alberto Del Rio for his first opportunity at becoming the King of the Ring.
Naomi: Say Brodus, do you think you're going to beat Alberto Del Rio?
Brodus looked around uncomfortably. His eyes shifted from side to side, and leaned down into the microphone with one quick word.
Brodus Clay: Si.
Naomi: Alberto was out here a little bit earlier, and truth be told, we don't speak a whole lot of Spanish.
Cameron: We straight up have no idea what he was saying.
Brodus Clay: Truth.
Naomi: But what we do know is that he seems to be under the impression that he can beat The Funkasaurus.
Brodus Clay: Bogus.
Cameron: But Nay, I'm sort of worried. Somewhere in that thick accent I think I heard Alberto Del Rio say he was going to give Brodus a proper burial, and kill him with his bare hands.
Brodus Clay: Hostile.
Naomi: Oh no! Not my Brody!
Cameron: YOUR Brody? Excuse me? I don't know who you think you are…
Brodus Clay: Ladies, ladies, there's enough of the Funkasaurus to go around!
Naomi: But… Brodus, I mean don't you understand? Alberto Del Rio is set on killing you. He said he's going to BURY you.
Cameron: Don't you know what that means?
Brodus Clay: Extinct.
Naomi: I'm afraid so, Brody. I'm afraid so. I just don't know if…
Brodus started laughing uncontrollably, and Naomi and Cameron looked very confused.
Cameron: Brodus! What's so funny?!
Brodus Clay: Have no fear, Funkadactyls! The only thing getting buried tonight is Alberto Del Rio's career when I pin him to the mat.
Brodus seemed to realize he was talking, and became suddenly aware of the crowd of onlookers. He looked largely uncomfortable.
Cameron: It's okay Funky! These are your friends! Don't you all love the Funkasaurus?! He's a little shy at first, but once he gets going, he really gets on a roll!
Naomi: Alberto Del Rio seems to take exception to the people who like to come out to the ring and entertain all of you! The Funkasaurus is the real deal! He can dance, and he can wrestle. Alberto Del Rio just seems to be a tad bit uncomfortable around people who are multi-talented.
Brodus Clay: Jealous.
Cameron: So as Alberto is standing there, calling Brodus a clown and threatening to kill him. He points down to the poor, defenseless local performer he'd just destroyed, looks at the cameraman and yells…
Together: SHOOT HIM!
Brodus Clay: Language Barrier.
Naomi: It was a poor choice of words.
Cameron: Turns out he just wanted the cameraman to film the young man, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't super worried for a second there. But then, all holy hell broke loose.
Brodus Clay: Word
Naomi: That announcer guy… what's his name?
Brodus Clay: Luuuucy…
Naomi: Oh, right, Ricky Ricardo!
Cameron: I think his name is Ricardo Rodriguez.
Brodus Clay: Bingo.
Naomi: He comes out waving a suitcase. Alberto bout' lost his damn mind and ran on up out of here.
Brodus Clay: Odelay.
Cameron: That means "in a hurry". So, Funky and me…
Naomi cleared her throat loudly into her microphone.
Cameron: Umm… I mean, Nay and I were talking to Funky, and it seems to us like Alberto Del Rio is just a little preoccupied. He's mind controlled by Kane.
Brodus Clay: Creepy.
Naomi: And the lord only knows what was in that suitcase thing, but what we do know, is that Alberto Del Rio is worried about it. He's so worried about he seemed to forget all about Brodus Clay.
Cameron: I'm not sure he even said much about Funky anyway. I mean after all the Spanish he seemed to make a grave mistake. He lumped Brodus in with all the other hard working superstars who he perceives to be "clowns."
Brodus Clay: Mistake.
Naomi: You're right, Funky. It is a mistake. It means that Alberto Del Rio thinks you're like everyone else, and we know that's far from the truth. You're the most talented, Funkasaurus on the planet, and your EBWF career is all set to sour to heights Alberto Del Rio can only dream about.
Cameron: You can count on it Planet Funk. You're not spending your time cheering on a one trick pony! Tonight, it's Brodus Clay for the upset! But the only way he's going to do it is with all of you Funkateers! Alberto, you should know that you are severely underestimating Brodus Clay. You seem to be under the assumption that you're better than our beloved, Funky.
Naomi: Uh, let's try, hell to the no. You know what you've done in EBWF, Albie?! Absolutely, nothing. You've had a few months to make an impression. You don't even wrestle. You fight like a caged animal. You might be trying to escape your aristocratic past, but it's coming off… how do I say this? A little… desperate.
Brodus Clay: Siesta.
Cameron: I don't want it to come as any surprise to you when Brodus handily takes care of you tonight. You're just standing in the way of Brodus' path to the throne. This Funkasaurus will lead Planet Funk and become its King of the Ring. And then you'll get to see the biggest Dance Party the Funkateers have EVER had!
Brodus Clay: Fiesta!
"Funky's on a roll! Funky's on a roll!" Brodus and his ladies danced in the ring, with both of the girls kissing his cheek and causing him to playfully fall over. The three danced up the ramp and moved out of the arena as "Somebody Call My Mama" played them out.
Naomi: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, the only living, breathing, rompin' stompin' Funkasaurus, in captivity! Mr. Brodus Claaaaay!
The Funkasaurus: Funkateers! Put your hands together for the lovely Cameron and Naomi, the Funkadactyls!
"Funky's on a roll! Funky's on a roll!" Cameron and Naomi were on the stage doing their usual entrance dance in a flash. Brodus Clay joined them, doing the traditional raptor like dance all the way down the ramp and in to the ring.
"Funky's on a roll! Got to let it go! Funky's on a roll!"
They moved to the left and to the right in unison, until the down beat came to the music, and Brodus tore off his track pants, throwing them to the ring and stomping on them as pryo shot out of the turnbuckles. Naomi went to the ropes and came back to Cameron with two microphones. She handed one to her dance partner and raised the microphone to her lips.
Naomi: What is up, Planet Funk! Welcome to EBWF Warfare! You all know our friend, The Funkasaurus. She's Cameron.
Cameron dropped down low and did a booty pop, before speaking into her own mic.
Cameron: And she's Naomi!
Naomi did the same type of dance move, and they spoke together.
Together: And we are the Funkadactyls!
Brodus burst into an applause that showed the pride he had in his valets.
Cameron: It's King of the Ring, and my main man Brodus Clay is in round one against…
Naomi: I'm sorry?! You're main man?
Cameron: Our main man. Of course! That's beside the point, Nay! Point is The Funkasaurus is here, and he's facing Alberto Del Rio for his first opportunity at becoming the King of the Ring.
Naomi: Say Brodus, do you think you're going to beat Alberto Del Rio?
Brodus looked around uncomfortably. His eyes shifted from side to side, and leaned down into the microphone with one quick word.
Brodus Clay: Si.
Naomi: Alberto was out here a little bit earlier, and truth be told, we don't speak a whole lot of Spanish.
Cameron: We straight up have no idea what he was saying.
Brodus Clay: Truth.
Naomi: But what we do know is that he seems to be under the impression that he can beat The Funkasaurus.
Brodus Clay: Bogus.
Cameron: But Nay, I'm sort of worried. Somewhere in that thick accent I think I heard Alberto Del Rio say he was going to give Brodus a proper burial, and kill him with his bare hands.
Brodus Clay: Hostile.
Naomi: Oh no! Not my Brody!
Cameron: YOUR Brody? Excuse me? I don't know who you think you are…
Brodus Clay: Ladies, ladies, there's enough of the Funkasaurus to go around!
Naomi: But… Brodus, I mean don't you understand? Alberto Del Rio is set on killing you. He said he's going to BURY you.
Cameron: Don't you know what that means?
Brodus Clay: Extinct.
Naomi: I'm afraid so, Brody. I'm afraid so. I just don't know if…
Brodus started laughing uncontrollably, and Naomi and Cameron looked very confused.
Cameron: Brodus! What's so funny?!
Brodus Clay: Have no fear, Funkadactyls! The only thing getting buried tonight is Alberto Del Rio's career when I pin him to the mat.
Brodus seemed to realize he was talking, and became suddenly aware of the crowd of onlookers. He looked largely uncomfortable.
Cameron: It's okay Funky! These are your friends! Don't you all love the Funkasaurus?! He's a little shy at first, but once he gets going, he really gets on a roll!
Naomi: Alberto Del Rio seems to take exception to the people who like to come out to the ring and entertain all of you! The Funkasaurus is the real deal! He can dance, and he can wrestle. Alberto Del Rio just seems to be a tad bit uncomfortable around people who are multi-talented.
Brodus Clay: Jealous.
Cameron: So as Alberto is standing there, calling Brodus a clown and threatening to kill him. He points down to the poor, defenseless local performer he'd just destroyed, looks at the cameraman and yells…
Together: SHOOT HIM!
Brodus Clay: Language Barrier.
Naomi: It was a poor choice of words.
Cameron: Turns out he just wanted the cameraman to film the young man, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't super worried for a second there. But then, all holy hell broke loose.
Brodus Clay: Word
Naomi: That announcer guy… what's his name?
Brodus Clay: Luuuucy…
Naomi: Oh, right, Ricky Ricardo!
Cameron: I think his name is Ricardo Rodriguez.
Brodus Clay: Bingo.
Naomi: He comes out waving a suitcase. Alberto bout' lost his damn mind and ran on up out of here.
Brodus Clay: Odelay.
Cameron: That means "in a hurry". So, Funky and me…
Naomi cleared her throat loudly into her microphone.
Cameron: Umm… I mean, Nay and I were talking to Funky, and it seems to us like Alberto Del Rio is just a little preoccupied. He's mind controlled by Kane.
Brodus Clay: Creepy.
Naomi: And the lord only knows what was in that suitcase thing, but what we do know, is that Alberto Del Rio is worried about it. He's so worried about he seemed to forget all about Brodus Clay.
Cameron: I'm not sure he even said much about Funky anyway. I mean after all the Spanish he seemed to make a grave mistake. He lumped Brodus in with all the other hard working superstars who he perceives to be "clowns."
Brodus Clay: Mistake.
Naomi: You're right, Funky. It is a mistake. It means that Alberto Del Rio thinks you're like everyone else, and we know that's far from the truth. You're the most talented, Funkasaurus on the planet, and your EBWF career is all set to sour to heights Alberto Del Rio can only dream about.
Cameron: You can count on it Planet Funk. You're not spending your time cheering on a one trick pony! Tonight, it's Brodus Clay for the upset! But the only way he's going to do it is with all of you Funkateers! Alberto, you should know that you are severely underestimating Brodus Clay. You seem to be under the assumption that you're better than our beloved, Funky.
Naomi: Uh, let's try, hell to the no. You know what you've done in EBWF, Albie?! Absolutely, nothing. You've had a few months to make an impression. You don't even wrestle. You fight like a caged animal. You might be trying to escape your aristocratic past, but it's coming off… how do I say this? A little… desperate.
Brodus Clay: Siesta.
Cameron: I don't want it to come as any surprise to you when Brodus handily takes care of you tonight. You're just standing in the way of Brodus' path to the throne. This Funkasaurus will lead Planet Funk and become its King of the Ring. And then you'll get to see the biggest Dance Party the Funkateers have EVER had!
Brodus Clay: Fiesta!
"Funky's on a roll! Funky's on a roll!" Brodus and his ladies danced in the ring, with both of the girls kissing his cheek and causing him to playfully fall over. The three danced up the ramp and moved out of the arena as "Somebody Call My Mama" played them out.